Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Well, I think I gave up on getting the novel done by the end of november. Which is sad, because I've actually came pretty close. But during break, it just became this entirely joyless endeavor, partially because of writer's block, partially because of the various tortures my body has devised for me right now. So hopefully after some of that's been straightened out and finals are over and I've pulled the very last college paper I'll ever have to write out of my ass, I'll finish.

If anyone does want to read the hugely embarassing and poorly written mess that I DO have, give me an e-mail and I'll see what I can do.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

The nausea and dizzy spells mean its* working!

Yes, today was the first day of break that I didn't have a completely horrible headache. Combined with the fact that this is the next to last day of break and that my bowels have been acting up too: not a great break. Also: I didn't not have a headache at all. I just had a less bad one. But that might be because I went to a movie, which nearly always gives me a headache, with the way they jack the sound up in there nowadays. But the downside, as I started out the post, I've been a bit dizzy and nauseated. But not a huge lot. So I can't tell if I really am dizzy and nauseated, or only am paranoid about it and making myself so. We'll see, I guess.

Also, I'm not sure if it's the drug that kept me from getting a huge headache, or ironically, going to the movie. I have this theory that The Noise that is driving me nuts is helping cause the headaches, because it's sort of similar to bass, which my experience with the loud-music playing neighbors from a few years ago tells me gives me headaches. And the movie got me away from the house and hence, The Noise. And my head felt better. Something to think about.

My dad and I saw Alexander. I wasn't crazy to see it, but my Dad is all about the ancient civilization epic flicks, and I didn't think it would kill me, so I went along. Plus, like I said, I was dying to get out of the house. And... every so often it had its moments, but being like, 3 hours long, there were a lot of bad moments to slog through to get to them. But it got me out of the house and away from The Noise. And for that I loved it.

__
* The migraine prevention drug I started awhile ago

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

This week, there's been this awful noise in our house*. I think it's from somewhere outside, but can't tell exactly where it's emanating from. It's this very low pitched hum that starts and stops, starts and stops, over and over and over, driving me NUTS. It's like a car rattle, where you take it into the mechanic and it stops when I try to get other people to hear it. Only it doesn't stop. It's just too low pitched/quiet for my old hard of hearing parents to hear. Or else I'm insane and this is just the step before hearing voices that aren't there. Which is also quite likely. And you don't (hopefully) have to live whilst getting headaches from your rattly car or try to sleep in your rattly car. I have to get out of here. But the weather's too shitty to even contemplate that. Plus, of course, it's thanksgiving.

Oh, also leading me to believe I'm insane, is this is a mechanical noise. And our power went out for hours and hours yesterday because of this snowstorm we had. And ya know what? The noise still didn't stop. But the power was down in our whole neighborhood. Which was quite unpleasant in and of itself.

___
* It's been around for awhile, been driving me nuts for awhile, but this has been the only break I've had in awhile where I've had to be home an extended time where the noise works its magic. And yesterday while the power was out, there was nothing around to drown it out like there usually is, which made it doubly miserable.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Embarassing things about my christmas list:

1) Those fingerless gloves with the mitten top you can flip over them. Ugliest things on the planet. Helpful, however, if you have to fiddle with little knobs on a camera in the freezing cold like I do from time to time. I'm so cheap, though. They're five bucks, and I don't want to pay for them so I'm putting them on my christmas list and waiting till winter.

2) One of those adaptors so that you can play songs from a discman on your car stereo. I really don't have the money or the charm to persuade my parents to get an actual car cd player for me. I'm going to be doing a whole lot less walking and a whole lot more driving next semester, and the radio around here drives me insane if I have to listen to it too long. The only trouble is, I bet if I get one, I'll have it busted within a month, because the way it works is one end you stick in the cd player, and the other end is kind of like a tape. And my car constantly eats tapes. Which is why I can't just listen to tapes I make of my cd's.

3) The sheer amount of pop-punk/emo cds on my list: 4

4) The sheer amount of Ben Folds(Five) CD's I'll own if I get the Ben Folds Live album on my list: 9

5) The sheer amount of things I have on my list. And that it's still growing. I'm a terribly guilty upper middle class liberal. But not guilty enough to stop being extremely materialistic. Just guilty enough to feel bad afterwards.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Here's something bizarre, that probably is of no interest to anyone but me, but I thought of it today. And it's actually kind of weird that I didn't notice sooner.

Anyway, my favorite band used to be Everclear. And one thing I've always thought is really awesome is that my name is actually in one of their songs, Amphetamine. And then, awhile later, I realized another one of their songs, So Much for the Afterglow has my mom's name. And then today, I realized out of nowhere, my Grandma's name is in Queen of the Air, another of their songs. I mean, I knew that it was in there, but had never really thought about it. So anyway, I am impressed and weirded out at the same time.

Also, today, the first day of my thanksgiving break, I got up at the crack of dawn to go to a stupid doctor's appointment. I decided to talk about the fact that I get way too many headaches, and lately have been getting way too many BAD headaches. I've been that way a long time, but figured it was just getting ridiculous. So now I'm going to be on this headache preventing drug. Great. Just great. I am the most bizarre mix of nine year old and senior citizen. Eat like a nine year old, suck down the meds like a senior citizen, it's a creepy gig, let me tell you.

Anyways.... good times. I also hung out with my high school friend again and we watched Bridget Jones II. Which was pretty much a wash. It had good bits, but basically it was a rehash of the original, just made to milk every last drop of cash out of the franchise.

Marge: Someone perform CPR!
Homer: I see a bad moon rising...
Marge: I said CPR, not CCR!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Do you know what would be a great band name? "The Ineffectual Sonsabitches"

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

So I put on my Napoleon Dynamite suit,* and went to Peoria for my interview. I think I did still act a bit crack addicty. Honestly, me and interviews don't mix. And the guy critiqued my work, and mentioned some of the bad bits that my production director at TV-10, who's supposed to also do that, has never mentioned, which made me feel kind of like I wasn't prepped properly.

But, as I mentioned before, I would really have to screw it up to not get the internship. So they hired me! I am going to be an intern next semester! I'm going to kick ass! Take names! Photograph stuff!

It's going to rock.

What is wrong with this animal
I'm terrible


--Foo Fighters

_____
* If you've seen Napoleon Dynamite, you know that the time it's set in is relatively ambiguous. I mean, it is set in the present, as the one guy keeps talking about going to high school in 1982, and he's old enough that it has to be the present, but all the music and fashion in the movie are 80's, and all the home decor is 70's. My one business suit (the only one I have to my name, actually) reminds me of this in that the lapels are very wide and 70's, and but the huge shoulder pads are very 80's. And if you haven't seen the movie, be sure to rent it when it comes out. It's HILARIOUS.

Monday, November 15, 2004

So my weekend--

Bonnie & Clyde -- turned out very, very good. Though sad, because of the ending, and you pretty much know the ending, it was also very funny and well told. According to IMDB, it's Gene Wilder's first screen appearance. Go on now. Impress your friends with your newfound knowledge.

Turkey Bowling -- yeah, didn't happen. The time posted was actually three hours later than the event actually was, so it was done by the time any of our team showed up.

Paper -- got it done, though I loathe Berger more than ever.

Test -- studied for, though I didn't do the best at it because he asked a lot of obscure questions.

So I'm all clear for a couple of days. Except for the interview tomorrow. Which there's not much prep for, other than saying to myself, "don't act like a crack addict," over and over. And the novel that is turning into the biggest pain in the ass ever :P

Bonnie: What would you do if some miracle happened and we could walk out of here tomorrow morning and start all over again clean? No record and nobody after us, huh?
Clyde: Well, uh, I guess I'd do it all different. First off, I wouldn't live in the same state where we pull our jobs.


--Bonnie and Clyde

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Aaaargh! I hate "Ways of Seeing." Stupidest book ever. Berger is the most pretentious ass ever! I think some of the product he used on his puffy seventies white boy 'fro fried his brain! It makes a paper distinctly hard to write when you REALLY disagree with the book you're writing on, and also when the author's writing style makes him sound like a complete pretentious asswipe. Just say what you're gonna say, dude!

Also, I think Penguin Pajamas makes a great band name.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I keep digging my hole deeper. Now I have turkey bowling and a screening of bonnie and clyde to add to the other stuff I have to worry about this weekend, two obligations I entered into voluntarily. I've pretty much given up any hope of doing it all, so I'm probably going to drop reading Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, which I'd pretty much secretly hoped to drop anyway.

Now I'm an amputee, goddamn you!

--"Flagpole Sitta," Harvey Danger

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Yay, back on track with the novel. Still have to read like.... 80 gajillion things. Good times.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Phoemeister: Yay! I just checked my e-mail, and I'm going to have an interview with a guy from a real TV station! I'm going to be a productive member of society!
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* that's good...
Sarcasmyst: and good luck on your interview. *grin*
Phoemeister: thanks
Phoemeister: I'll need it
Phoemeister: I'm horrible at interviews
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* they really do suck
Phoemeister: the only thing keeping me from completely freaking out about it right now is that I've been assured that it's pretty much in the can unless I do something truly horrible during.
Phoemeister: Which..... I could do. I'm horrible at interviews. But I don't feel I have to be twitchy about every little thing like I do at other interviews, which makes me freak out and look like a crack addict
Sarcasmyst: *nods* a big plus, that.
Phoemeister: so hopefully, knowing that my reccomendations are working for me and they don't have to be particularly picky seeing as how I don't get paid, will calm me down enough so that I don't act crack addicty.
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* crack addicty. that's a new phrase.
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: "Ugh, that shirt..... it's so..... crack addicty."
Sarcasmyst: LOL
Sarcasmyst: I will remember that. *grin*
Phoemeister: "Oh, the new guy..... he's so.... crack addicty."
Phoemeister: "Man...... that crack addict..... he's so.... crack addicty."
Phoemeister: very multipurpose
Sarcasmyst: LOL
Phoemeister: Now I want to find some way to slip it into conversation.
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* how could you not?
Sarcasmyst: just not during the interview. *grin*
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: "I was afraid I'd act all crack addicty when I met you...."
Sarcasmyst: LOL
Phoemeister: "....but I think this interview is going just fine, don't you?"
Sarcasmyst: *grins* do it! do it!
Phoemeister: noooo! Now I'm going to want to say it during the interview. In my head, I'm going to have a little Sarcasmyst going, "Do it! DO IT! Saaaay crack addicty!" and I'll start laughing out of nowhere, and it'll be nearly as bad.
Well, today I didn't work on the novel at all. But I think I'll make it up tomorrow, traditionally Wednesday seems to be the least busy day of my week this semester.

I could've had time today, only I spent two hours on my resume tape for WEEK. I asked my news director if anything I'd done stood out, and she was all, "you should put one of the town council meetings you did last semester on!" because since I did boring meeting-type stuff all the time, I really had it down, apparently. And it shows you can do your best on stuff that's even boring. Except, it was like, all of those disappeared! I spent most of the two hours looking through tapes to find town council meetings I did. I could only find one, and couldn't even use it because someone added some other footage that sort of had something to do with the story later, to make it more interesting, and I didn't shoot that footage, so I couldn't really pass it off as my own work.

So anyway, I finally got tired of it. And my production director said I shouldn't bother with old stories anyway, because at the stage I am in right now, the newer my stuff is, the better. So I put on five of the stories I did this semester: gas prices, prep. for the inauguration of the university president, afterschool programs, homecomeing couple, and the one where my reporter ate a dog biscuit. Very professional.

Then, my time was further stolen today, as my one prof decided that for this week and next week, he's going to make us stay longer at the tuesday screenings and let us skip Thursday afternoons. So I couldn't really work on it after that, because it's so late. Though, here's me clearly contradicting myself by spending time blogging. But I really do need this time to relax, I'm.... swamped, probably because of the novel. But in addition, I just wrote a paper, have another paper this week on a book I haven't read yet (Ways of Seeing), have a test on monday, mostly on a fistful of film articles I haven't read yet, and will no doubt have a quiz on another book I haven't read yet (Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf) because he always springs them on us to make sure we've read whatever it is.

And I bombed the quiz on Death of a Salesman today because I didn't get a chance to read it. But hey, he throws out one or two of them, I think, so I'm not that worried. The movie version of it I watched tonight.... depressing as hell. Though, I guess that means it did it's job, because I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be depressing. Basically it's about a dude who busts his ass all his life to try and get the American Dream, and never does, and basically ends up with no job and no money, and dysfunctional relationships with his wife (who he cheats on), his one son (who is on the same self-destructive road he's on), and his other son (who he tries to live vicariously through, but the son is tired of the rat race and wants to get out of the business). I found it particularly scary, as this is an issue I'm fixating on lately, as I grow ever nearer to having to deal with "the real world." I don't want to end up like the father, who locks himself into a horrible job his whole life and never makes anything of himself, but I don't want to end up like the one son either, who is like 30, and still "trying to find himself." So... yeah.

Oh, on the good side, in class earlier, he played "Loser" for us, because it's another exibit of slacker culture. He's always playing lame music videos for horrible songs, but finally he picked a good one. Though, the actual video was still lame. But greatest song ever! In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey....

Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark
there's an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall
he's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes
things that remind him that life has been good
twenty five years, he's worked at the paper
a man's here to take him downstairs
and I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, it's time


--"Fred Jones Part II" Ben Folds

Sunday, November 07, 2004

So, my weekend--

Saturday I went to a volleyball match with my dad. He asked me if I wanted to go, like, a couple months ago when he got some special offer about it in the mail. Really, I could not give less of a crap about most sports, including volleyball. But I said yes because he doesn't have a whole lot of friends, and mom doesn't give a crap about sports either, so I figured I'd throw the guy a bone and come with him.

Strangely (or not strangely considering the explanation I gave earlier) enough, this is my 9th semester at ISU, and the first time I've went to any of our sporting events. I actually had some fun. It's not something I'd do every day, but once in awhile, cool. I thought that the band and the cheerleaders were quite good. And ISU won the game, so go them.

And I did get into the game pretty hard in the first two matches. For lack of anything better to do, I became the uber-rowdy annoying person who yells things. It started out with woo's and yeah's, but I started yelling out actual player's names like, "Way to kick ass, Savannah Knowles!" and making up such cheers as, "Take it to the hoop is what I'd say to you if this were basketball!" and "Go Redbirds! You almost make me proud to go to ISU!" and then when they started losing in the third match, I would go, "No. I was wrong. You really don't make me proud to go here."

My dad was a little annoying, interupting my loudmouthness all the time with all this technical volleyball strategy and who, if he was coach, he would make set to who, and what constitutes a good serve and whatnot, but I really can't complain about him, seeing as how he was unashamed enough of me and my yelling to continue sitting next to me.

Then, as is often the case when I am way too hyper, I crashed. I got this huge headache and just laid my head on him the rest of the game. And when they won the fourth match, and hence, the game, I told them once more that they made me less ashamed of ISU, and we left.

Today I saw my ex roommate for lunch. Not the one who told me she never wanted to speak to me again. Not the one with the contraband hamster. Not the one who kept me up till at least 4 a.m. every night... The fourth one, the only one I would be likely to ever hang out with again at this point. We caught up on old times. It was good.

Then tonight I hung out with my high school friend. When we were at the gas station, two weird guys asked us how to get to the Black Eyed Peas concert. What? Do we look like we know where the Blacked Eyed Peas concert is? Don't you think if we were the type of people who knew where the Black Eyed Peas concert was, we'd be AT the Black Eyed Peas concert right now?

Anyway, I had two social encounters in one day? How cool am I?

And now, a conver about how cool I am:

Me: I'm sorry, I can't hang out with you tonight. I'm going to a volleyball game with my dad.
High School Friend: Well, at least one of us has a social life.
Me: Wait, did you hear me? I said I'm going to a volleyball game with my dad.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Fun facts about my novel:

1) My main character's name means "wanking gnome" in some scandinavian language. Honestly, I've been eager to use it as a name for a character ever since I came across it on a site devoted to swearing in foreign languages once. All my other character names are crap. The worst thing about writing fantasy is you have to come up with the most preposterous names for characters, especially nonhumans.

2) All my chapter headings, and I have a zillion of them, I don't know why, are song titles. These aren't songs that would make a particularly great soundtrack for the novel, but picked rather for the name of the song vaguely having something to do with something in that chapter.

3) It starts with the worst fantasy novel cliche ever, my main character's village is burnt down and she's the only survivor.

I hit 10,200 words today. Honestly, I'm surprised at how easy it's been to stick to so far. And though most people might find it stressful to write, I'm finding it relaxing. I am very much enjoying losing myself in my own poorly fabricated fantasy world and the poorly fabricated problems of my poorly fabricated characters than dealing with my own life. Though I get my share of writer's block, I almost regret when I hit my word count for the day and have to return to my own life and think about how I'm going to get a job or internship, the stupid papers I have to write for class, how I want to get a video essay done this semester because it's my last chance to learn digital editting but am utterly devoid of ideas for a good video essay, and probably won't have the time for it either, especially as I'm writing this damned novel....

This song will become
the anthem of
your underground


--"At Your Funeral," Saves The Day

Friday, November 05, 2004

So I did two more VO/SOTS this morning. One: Wendy's. This one Wendy's has been robbed twice this semester. There is a loooooot of robberies in general this semester, it's kind of freaky.

Two: The construction on the "Shoppes at College Hills." I think "Shoppes" is the worst word ever. So pretentious. But both shoots went alright.

Then I've spent.... hours on the Nanowrimo forums. Rather than actually working on the novel or on a paper I have due on monday about a racist musical. Or a paper I have due next week about the most cockamamie book I've ever read for class.

I'd rather just chill, and talk to friends about dyeing babies.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Today instead of doing a package with a reporter like I usually do on Thursday afternoons, I got two vo/sots myself instead.

On one hand, I'd much rather have a reporter with me, because if the people are mean to us, they can deal with it. And they carry half my stuff. And it's just fun to work with someone you know, rather than being alone, if they're a nice person. And with my navigational skills, I always feel better with someone else in the car, even if I'm the one at the wheel. I also have trouble trying to ask people questions, hold the mic, and operate the camera properly at the same time.

On the other hand: vo/sots get done much faster. I did two of them, and got done before I usually get done with one package. Also, building up self sufficiency in driving alone is probably good for me.

Anyway, I went to a luncheon with the ISU basketball team. Actually I was an hour late because we read the press release about it wrong. But I still did get an interview with the basketball coach, racking up yet another encounter with a local pseudo-important person. He was really nice to me, even though the stupid mic flag kept falling and I had to keep picking it up and then adjusting everything because I accidently moved the camera or something when I bent over... etc.

The other story was a book sale to raise money for the Bloomington Public Library. It was also pretty cool, the people there were so nice to me, because they wanted the press. I also got some random person buying books to give me an interview too. I love it when people are nice to me. You really see the whole spectrum in this business, and often people aren't nice, which makes me appreciate it more. Good times.

Also, my 12 o'clock class was cancelled today, and I got to 6,800 words in my novel since I finished at TV-10 so early. Boo-ya!

So lay down
the threat is real
when his sight
goes red again


--"Seeing Red," Chevelle

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Election coverage last night..... craaaaaazy. I'm not talking about the "real" coverage so much as the TV-10 coverage. I directed. Which was.... interesting, considering we were running around like coked up weasels with no idea what was going to happen next. I myself was 10 times as hyper as normal, which is very, very hyper. I was sure I was just going to keel over from being too hyper at any minute.

Mainly, the show was lame. I mean, we had good points. But we didn't have a lot of money and personnel to make it really great. But it was so much fun behind the scenes, I'm very glad I did it, even though I was wiped out afterwards. And I'm behind on my novel now :P

Monday, November 01, 2004

So, first day of Nanowrimo. Actually, I've gone over my scientifically prepared word quota for today, making this my most sucessful Nano ever. Whether that is sad or cool, you can decide.

Actually, I do feel a little bit behind, though. As today was not that busy (I skipped one of my classes), I probably should've gone much more over, as other days of the week (especially thurs) are too busy to be conducive to novel writing. Also, I have a couple of school papers coming up that are going to steal novel time. Also, tomorrow is going to be crizzazy, because on top of everything else, I'm voting AND doing live voting coverage at TV-10 tomorrow.

So my plot.... I trashed what I was going to do. I was WAY excited about it when I came up with it a few months ago, and now I think it's crap, so I'm doing sort of a pulpy fantasy novel instead. It is crap too, but easier to write. I can't write worth a damn when I'm actually trying (as opposed to just fooling around and having fun) so it's actually pretty poopy. It would still suck as a play, but maybe it should be a better play than novel, because I am no good at describing things or writing action, I just keep doing conversations over and over. Boring. I stopped where I did tonight because I came to this spot where I wanted a bandit attack and I'm like, "Well, can't make the bandits talk the other people to death. Better stop for now." Oy...

"Paperback wriiiiiiiiiiter...."

--"Paperback Writer," The Beatles