Welp, I don't think I'm going to do D & D tomorrow, or ever again, really. I have a HUGE program due on Friday, and I'm not very far along, thanks to the H & S paper I had to write at the beginning of the week which I would've written it over the weekend, but I had radio scripts to write then. I'm so busy this week, I forgot I had a radio midterm yesterday, and did pretty damn poorly on it. I just don't have 8 hours this wednesday to do this.

And I got to thinking, I probably won't be able to go next week on spring break either, because I don't want my parents knowing why I'm going out. My mom would freak if she knew I met people from the internet. And no, I couldn't lie about it. 1) I suck at lying and 2) there's no good lie to tell. I never go anywhere, especially 8 hours at a time. Also, I have C++ tests random wednesdays during the semester, that'll cause me to miss.

And then I was thinking, dammit, I'm always going to be this busy for the rest of the semester. I'm always going to have half a C++ program due on friday. I'm always going to have a radio project every week. I'm always going to have a media writing project every week. I'm going to have assembly language programs in H & S due soon. I have a TV PSA I have to shoot soon. There's no way I'm going to regularly have time to do this 8 hours a week. So I'm going to leave a comment on the guy's site to the effect of, "really, I'm not blowing you off. I just didn't realize how little time I really have until now."

Have you ever noticed that when I have a lot to do, I blog in short, frequent bursts bitching about how much I have to do, thus making the time I have to do these things shrink? Yeah, me too.

But I can't stop. It's like, my escape, I guess.


Anyway, I just noticed that my WinAmp playlist right now is all british bands (Idlewild, The Coral, Aqualung) except for this one oldie glorifying the confederacy (The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down/Joan Baez) I like the song, not the message. And it's weird, its not straight up for the confederates, but still it mentions how the guy's brother was killed by a yankee. So, yeah. And this other song (Over My Head/Semisonic) from a soundtrack to some crappy-ass Freddie Prinze Jr. movie. Well, I've never seen the movie. But it has to be crappy if it's got FPJ. It's like a rule that he can only make crappy movies.

Anyway, i wonder if all of this says anything about me.

All the playlist is missing is some booty bass, bay-bee

Welp, I've finally put up my first post at the new blog. It pretty much explains what I'm trying to do there.

Not sure if I'm going to keep Angry White Girl or go with something new. Technically right now it's called Phoemeister which I know I'm definately changing. Yep.

Change your bookmarks, people. I'm going to rock your world moveable type style now, oh yeah!

I think I've become a compulsive eater. I mean, technically the steroids I'm on might be increasing my hunger because that's one of their generally recognized side effects, but I don't think that's the real problem. First off, I started gaining a lot of weight before I started on the steroids. Second off, it seems like I'm only happy lately when I'm eating. Even right after I eat, when I'm full, I wish I wasn't full, so I could eat more. So I'm thinking I'm a compulsive eater. That, coupled with the fact that I am the most sedentary/lazy person on earth: not good.

*big sigh*

Here is one thing besides food that has cheered me up lately: an e-mail from one of my highschool friends. I miss her more right after we've talked than I do the months and months we go without seeing each other.

If only...

we could be as cool as Willie Nelson at 70. Really. Did you see the cover of TV guide this week? That phrase was on it, along with a slammin' picture of the guy. Man, if only I could live up to that.

But really, who thinks about Willie Nelson at 2:00 am in the morning? Apparentely only me. I had to ask my roommate, who is still up, how to spell his name. So, at least one other person is thinking about this.

Yeah.

I hope you have been well. With school and all that. I have found myself pretty sleepless at night. I saw 4 am on the digital the other morning, and I wasn't studying. Thoughts on that? I talked to "other high school friend" on the phone tonight. She makes me feel like Peter Pan. I don't think I'm ready to grow up just yet. I still want to think that I can be Willie Nelson at 70.

You like how that just all flowed together? Nice, huh?

She's the best. I sent her back this long whiney e-mail about how long winded and whiney I am.

I've been a lazy blogger lately. Usually I post every bit of anything that happens to me or pops into my head, but I've been lax. Though the sparseness probably improves quality. So I'll just summarize the (few) things that happened since last bloggie:

1) Saw the Matrix. It's an alright movie and everything I guess, but I just couldn't get into it. I figure part of it was my unrealisticly high expectations for the thing, plus seeing every single action sequence beforehand thanks to stupid TV, but it just didn't hit me like the first one did. I honestly had a better time watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on TV that night. Because who doesn't love watching Harrison Ford and Sean Connery thwart Nazis? Yes, TV has its redeeming qualities.

2) Sister's dog hurt its back somehow, and now everyone's all freaked out about it. I really do feel sorry for the dog. But man do they get fussy about it. My sis's all worried about having people over because the dog can't get up, but the dog likes to follow people around when they're over and stuff. It's like, "Dude, I know the dog doesn't like not being able to get up, but I think he can handle it." And I have to admit I'm psychotically fixated on how much they love the dog. Like, every time they're like, "Oh, oh the poor dog had diahrea again last night!" I want to be like, "Oh, oh! Poor me! I've had diahrea every day since October 2002. That's not counting the frequent bouts I had even before then going back as far as 2000, or any of my vomitting and anal bleeding!"

3) I guess I don't have a 3. It was wishful thinking to believe that in 5 days I did something besides watch a movie and obsess about my sister's dog.

Oh, and I'm feeling better about all the whining I've been doing about summer school lately. Everyone in the entire class hates it, not just me, so I feel all justified now.

Someone complimented my doodling today. That seems to happen more and more to me, because they've become so elaborate of late. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pathetic enough that the whole reason I doodle is for attention. It's a pretty crappy way of getting attention, though. There's really nowhere for a conversation to go after, "Nice doodling." At least nowhere I can think of, and believe me, I've tried. I've tried so hard. *breaks down into unintelligible sobbing*

AWESOME. I love the internet! Several hours after I post about my love for the lounge singer guy, Albany Dan totally tells me who the guy is, and complains that I don't like infomercials enough. And I have a peanut gallery backing him up on the infomercial thing.

I do like some infomercials though. I think I'm addicted to the psychic ones, I used to love watching and making fun of Miss Cleo and before that--Psychic Friends with Dionne Warwick! Right now my favorite is this spa commercial that's on locally where they come up with this whole story plot about these two neighbors hooking up because of their spa. It's so awful that I have to laugh.

I do admit, the knife ones get old. I've seen so many knife infomercials that the next time I buy a knife and it can't cut through concrete I'm going to write an angry letter to someone.

In other news: never get Talia started talking on the process of Shrimp de-veining. It is truely disturbing.

Oh, also: I have to admit that I've been watching the Carson Daly Show late at night. It's not that great or that horrible, and I don't really have any other choices unless you count one of those ads where they use a kitchen knife to saw through concrete.

Anyway, this week Carson's show has been in Vegas, and they have this lounge singer guy singing the little intros when guests come out, and when they go to commercials. Anyway, I've decided I'm obsessed with the lounge singer guy. He is so awesome. He sings all these songs lounge singer style. System of a Down, Weezer, even 50 cent is awesome lounge singer style. The only problem is you never get to hear the whole song. Anyway: my new life's purpose is to go to Las Vegas someday to hear crazy lounge singer guy.

I just HAVE to whine about my awful ethics class again.

1) I have a small paper due EVERY day. They justify this saying we have 16 days of class, so one day of class is like a week of class in a regular semester. The thing is, though, I have never had a class where I had a paper due every week. Plus, it's not like we get time off, we spend as much time in class in one day as you would during a week in one regular semester.

2) I have to read my brains out, on top of this. Maybe I wouldn't mind if the books had anything to do with anything.
a) book one is common sense crap, that you know already. Reporters are under pressure to get stories done on time. Reporters should stay impartial. Etc. I wouldn't even bother reading the book except we're quizzed on minute details of examples the book gives of "ethical dillemmas." I have to read 30-60 pages of this damn book every night.
b) book two is by this hyperpretentious guy who thinks that he is trying to prevent the fall of western society. He's afraid everything will go to pot and we'll end up living in a world similar to the one in Huxley's Brave New World. The whole book is just his unsupported opinion on how people only care about entertainment. And he wanders into all this crap that doesn't even have to do with his main opinion, like how the invention of clocks have supposedly brought about the downfall of religion. I think he wants to be Huxley but doesn't have the finesse. Thankfully, I only have to read 10-15 pages of this a night.
c) book three is a series of point-counterpoint articles about issues in the media. I've only read one chapter yet (going to do the rest after I'm done ranting) but both the articles annoyed the hell out of me. The first article had it's points, but the guy writing it was convinced that people using curse words on TV was causing the fall of western society. He's afraid of homogenization, but he's the type of guy who if he had his way, everyone would be watching only what he approves of. The second article was saying that media is actually anti-homogenization, and the guy didn't have a leg to stand on. His big example was how sattellite TV has encouraged women's liberation in India. But he's full of crap, because it's global homogenization, basically trying to turn India into the west. And while I DO approve of women's liberation in India, I do get pissed from time to time when I hear about how our culture is so great that countries like India are so much better off now that they're like us. I have to read 20-30 pages of this a night.

3) 3 hours every weekday besides Friday sitting there listening to him lecture is so boring I want to smack myself for taking summer school.

Well, I have to go now. I have 20 pages to read and a paper to write before class.

Oh, and sorry about the crazy template, it's stuff I accidently did because I'm doing stuff involving switching to moveable type. And I'm poor at following instructions. So we'll see how it goes.

Summer School: the final frontier.

First off, I parked reeeally far away from the class, so I really had to hurry to get there. My calves were on fire. I think I must really be a lump of fat if I really couldn't walk that fast for that length and end up with burning calves.

Then, I found out I needn't have hurried, seeing as how I accidently came an hour early.

So I bought my books. Campus is really weird in the summer, btw. I felt like I was in one of those post-apocolyptic movie scenes where all the buildings and stuff are intact but there's no one around. Weirdly, even though hardly anyone was around, I managed to bump into Ed from the England trip last year. I thought we were decent aquaintences at the time, but talking to him again was really awkward. I hate talking to people like that, when I haven't seen them for a year and didn't know their whole life story before that anyway, because you feel obligated to talk to them, but you don't know what to say and odds are they're not too keen on talking to you either but don't want to be impolite.

Then was the actual "class" portion of my time on campus. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the bit of class where the instructor basically goes over the sylabus with a fine tooth comb and bores you to tears? Yeah. I have to grant to this guy that he hasn't yet reached Uber-Ben-Stein-Style-Boringness yet, but it was pretty close, plus i'm not into the subject matter. Classes on ethics suck, by college you pretty much know what you think is right and wrong and pay lipservice to what they think is right and wrong, and get bored to tears along the way. I wanted to maim myself after a couple of hours of this. He also assigned us a few papers and a group proj already, which, strangely enough was the one thing he DIDN'T go thoroughly through on his frolick through the sylabus.

Speaking of which: group projects, grrr. My group seems like a nice sort. They seemed to agree with me that "Group I is I-tastic!" and that "summer school is scary!" but I still don't like group projects.

Oh, and he asked us to put our hero's name on the paper with our phone numbers and stuff. I don't think I have any real heros.... I have people I'd like to hang out with, but no one that I'm like, "I want to be like them." So in a moment of flippantness, I put Wolverine down. I bet he's labeled me as a wisacre already.

I guess that's it.

AAAAAAHRG! Stupid blogger. I'm trying to switch to MT right now, and about an hour ago I logged on and started saving my archives to my harddrive just to make sure nothing got lost. My Dad offered to take me out for ice cream, and I came back, and it won't show the damned archives. ARGH.

So yeah.

I have 50 bajillion copies of Rolling Stone, I just discovered. I'm attempting to clean out my room (no small task) because *sigh* my mommy is making me. Anyway, I ended up cleaning up magazines first, because I realized I have a LOT of magazines. And I am sharing this observation with the world.

I was actually going to go somewhere from there, but I'm too tired and can't remember.

Oh, and I talked to New Roommate yesterday. She seems nice. "She seems nice," seems to be my standard comment about every new roommate once I meet them. Oh, and what I find hilarious--my mom already knows where the girl is from, because she answered the phone yesterday and asked. "Where is he/she from?" is the question my parents ask about everyone. I don't even know why. It says nothing about the person (but I guess they just like nonsensical questions, because the second is always "how tall are they?"). My first question would be more, "Major?" I would never bother to find out where my endless stream of roommates is coming from if I didn't know I'd have to ask them just to tell my parents.

Also, we went out to dinner (me & family, not me & roommate). I'm the type of person who has a favorite and gets it every time they're out somewhere, but I've been getting tired of the places we go to eat lately so I've been experimenting in order to widen my choices. Anyway, I've decided I'm one helluva picky bastard. I haven't been happy with any of the choices I've been making lately. Why this made it into my journal? I do not know.

Ugh. FTA still hasn't called me back or anything, leading me to think (and dread) that I'm going to have to call him again. I really really wish I'd known about Cinema studies long enough ago that I wouldn't have to deal with advisors. Because advisors SUCK. Maybe there's one or two good, but all around they SUCK.

I mean, the advisor for my old minor didn't even really have to do anything for me this semester except allow me into classes I need, and he couldn't even get that right. If I can't get the new minor off the ground, I'm going to have NO minor classes next semester.

But FTA, the one I'm hoping will come through for me, I doubt will come through for me. He keeps saying that we have to get the prof's permission when he doesn't even know who it is. He doesn't want to go ahead and put me in and get the prof mad. What I want to do is be like, "Hey, just put me in the class and if the prof gets mad take me back out and be like, 'hey, it's not like we could get ahold of you and consult you. My bad.' And if the prof finally shows up and doesn't get mad, I'm spared all this worry that you won't get me in." What also kills me about FTA is how badly he wants to cover his own ass when he doesn't even know who he's afraid of. The job of an advisor is to HELP people like me, not screw us over. But FTA and CAA (crappy ACS advisor), show a heroic unwillingness to help me out. I can see them not sticking their necks out for a freshmen, because you have 4 years to get the classes you need in then. But when I'm going to be a senior, and every time they screw me over means another semester of school? GRRR. I'd expect more help from some bystander on the street than these clowns.

So.... that's my long, nonsensical rant about how much college advisors suck.

I was totally going to do a post on what fictional (book) characters I crushed on, (idea stolen from Dragonpaws, but I was confronted by several problems:

1) I haven't read many good fiction books in a long time. Stupid school took away my thirst for literature. Or pulp fantasy novels. Whatever.
2) I'm not really hot for most of the guys in books anyway. There are ones I totally love and would want to hang out with, but not that I'm hot for.

So I'm doing book guys I want to hang out with. Because I only get one week of school break this summer, but I still can't find anything better to do with the time.

Sam from Villains by Necessity
Okay, him I actually am hot for. He's a good bad boy! With a desperate crush on someone else! How could I not be all about him? Anyway, I think he's a deeper character than you'd find in most fantasy books, which is what I like to read. I don't know if I'd want to marry him or anything, because "Assasin" isn't exactly the job description I'd want for a husband, but I could definately carry on a torrid affair with him.

Rimmer from Red DwarfTechnically, this character is more TV than book, but I've never seen the show (due to cruel, cruel fate) and I have read the books, so he counts, dammit! I don't have a crush on him, because he is a huge loser. He lost his virginity at thirty to a woman who had a concussion at the time. But, I love him because I see so much of myself in him. I mean, not withstanding the whole being a 21 year old virgin myself, but just everyone has that feeling where they can't get anything right, sometimes, and it's refreshing to see a character that is vain, selfish, cowardly, but still loveable and makes you root for him even though he probably deserves his constant failures. I'd also like to throw in a shout out to Talkie Toaster from those books, but I don't know if he counts as a guy, being a toaster and everything.

Yossarian from Catch-22 Again, also a movie, but have never seen it. I hear he's played by Alan Arkin. Anyway, I'm reading the sequel right now and it's not that cool, but in Catch-22 this guy is cool. I'd like hanging out with him because he's fun. Even though he's in the middle of a warzone, he still manages to be goofy and mess with stupid people's heads. The war has given him a lot of emotional baggage that you can tell a lot of the humor is a defense mechanism for

Kilgore Trout from about a gazzillion Kurt Vonnegut novels Kilgore Trout is always saying to his cat, "I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't in a book right now. He himself writes short stories with wildly strange plots that only get published in crappy porno mags to use up space. One of his short stories convinces a used automobile salesman to go on a murdering rampage. His son ends up being a ghost that watches the human race evolve into platypus-like beings on a desert island after the rest of the world is taken out by a disease that causes infertility.

That's all I have for now. And I didn't put women up because I mostly read Fantasy, and most of the women in those novels are kind of stupid.

Oh, and addendum: here's how I think they'd fit into my life:

Sam - Torrid affair
Kilgore - Eccentric Uncle
Rimmer - little brother
Yossarian - neighbor/school chum

Mom: Jesus Christ! (at something in the newspaper)
*bag on the table she's sitting at falls off with a huge thunk*
Me: You really shouldn't take the lord's name in vain like that. That was a warning smite, dude.

Okay, I found that really really funny. I crack myself up.

And here is another conversation, this time about mismanaging your college career:

Sarcasmyst: So the english major makes me happy, and the psych major keeps me fed
Sarcasmyst: *grin*
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: You've got it all figured out a helluva lot better than I did :P
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* That's 'cause I's REEEEAL smart. Har har.
Phoemeister: This is me:

"Hmm....I'll wait till the very last second to choose a major."
"Hmm... I'll totally pick a horrible minor, and a major that is nothing like what I thought it would be like."
"Hmm....I'll switch majors."
"eww...switching majors won't work out. I'll stay with this one."
"I really hate my minor but I'll stick it out anyway."
"Maybe I'll switch disciplines within my major."
"Hmm....I'm kind of liking my major now."
"My minor is killing me. Must switch. Oops, weaselly academic advisors screwing me, draining my life blood. Must fight on for new minor."

And that's where i'm at now
Phoemeister: Ah. Yeah, I can see where being smart might've helped :P
Phoemeister: I have developed a strong loathing for academic advisors.
Sarcasmyst: Lol
Sarcasmyst: my advisor...
Sarcasmyst: has no idea who I am
Sarcasmyst: generally loses important papers
Sarcasmyst: and is hard to find
Sarcasmyst: *grin*
Sarcasmyst: I am in advisor-less land.
Sarcasmyst: And I LIKE it.
Sarcasmyst: Bwa ha ha.
Sarcasmyst: what is your major?
Phoemeister: I know how you feel. I only talk to mine when I absolutely have to.

Mass Com. I wanted to get into music production, which I thought was radio production, which is nowhere near the same, and I couldn't switch to music production, and the radio industry's in the crapper, so I'm switching to TV/Movies prod which is slightly less in the crapper, and I'm enjoying writing more than production lately anyway.
Sarcasmyst: *nods* Sounds kinda fun, really
Phoemeister: I kind of suck at production, to tell you the truth.
Phoemeister: Yeah, it is. I'm in a lot happier place now that I'm doing a lot more hands on stuff

Oh, here's something I've wanted to blog about for some time: a local Christian bookstore of ours, Berean, has been having ads lately where they have the American flag, or our troops or something, and are all "go to church this sunday" at the end.

No, not, "go to church and pray for our troops," just go to church. Okay, I know they're not trying to be "if you don't go to church, you're not patriotic," but it comes so close that it really, really annoys me. Being American is not being Christian. They are two unrelated things that Berean should not try to tie together. I mean, we practically invented separation of church and state. We're the first to clearly put it in writing, certainly.

So I'd like to say to Berean Bookstores: STOP BEING SUCH BUTTHEADS AND GO BACK TO PUSHING VEGGIE TALES PARAPHANALIA SANS PATRIOTIC PROPAGANDA.

I got a hit from Japanese google and a hit from New Zealand google today. I feel so international. And less frightened. Now I've got non-arab countries looking for me, for once.

And lots of hits for Funny Cide, Naked Matt Damon, and Dave Grohl's funny Tee shirts.

Really: I got online and had nothing to do. Yep.

Suprise, surprise


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