So the pancreas.... doin' alright. I've spent yesterday and the day before doped up on pain pills, which is always fun, and today I'm doing okay without them. I actually got Friday and today off from work at the station, which is kind of a plus. Honestly... I dread going there. And then once I'm there it's usually not that bad. But when I'm at home thinking about it, I'm just like, "dontwannagodontwannagodontwannago." I guess it's the unpredictablity of the job that worries me, which is stupid because that's why I wanted to go into this biz in the first place, I didn't want to get all bored doing the same thing every day. Anyway, due to my mom's overprotectfulness, I'm probably not going to work tomorrow, though I think I could if I wanted to.

Phoemeister: wouldn't it be ironic if green lantern really didn't like green
Phoemeister: but was..... you know, stuck with it because of that stupid ring?
Sui: haha
Sui: "god I hate this stupid color"
Phoemeister: he'd beg and beg for it to make something blue
Phoemeister: but all he could get was green
Sui: I long to be the fuschia lantern
Phoemeister: DUDE
Phoemeister: you would be a KICK ASS fuschia lantern

Like the new template? Well... I admit the coding's kind of ghetto, I basically took the old one and JAMMED a picture into it. But I really wanted to show it off, it's actually a drawing of a character I used to RP called "Phoenix Trafalagar" (and Phoemeister itself is kind of a bastardization of that name). Anyway, my AWESOME friend Tina/Talia commissioned it from this guy who calls himself Youma. I actually think it captures the essence of Phoenix a little better than I could've described it. I liked it so much I decided to make it part of the blog.

The title "Welcome to the Monkey House" is actually kind of coincidental, I just got REALLY tired of "Angry White Girl," and changed it on a whim a few days ago. It's the name of a Kurt Vonnegut short story. The story itself, while not bad, is not one of my favorites by him, but I felt the title lent itself well to being the title of a blog as well.

You've had bad luck
you've had bad luck
you've had bad luck
and I know what it feels like
to have bad luck

--"Mistake Pageant," Idlewild

You know.... I hate having bad things wrong with me, but I am perversely happy when a doctor solidly backs me up on it. It makes me look less like the boy who cried wolf, in my opinion. So when they diagnosed the colitis, I was like, "ha! proof! there IS something wrong!" and I was much the same when they found I had gallstones.

So today I was vindicated in finding out some abdominal pain I've been having for awhile (and got a LOT worse this morning) was pancreatitis. No.... don't worry, gentle reader, it's something that is going to clear up a lot easier than either the colitis (which has never cleared up) and the gallstones (for which I had to have surgery). Basically what caused it was some medication I'd been taking for the colitis, and now that I'm off it it should get better as long as I don't eat any very fatty foods for a week or so. And they gave me some lovely, lovely painkillers in the mean time.

Anyway, I've hit the itis trifecta (I hope I don't hit a quadfecta or anything higher). Colitis, pancreatitis, and I know I had some crazy word with itis on it for my gallbladder (itis, if you didn't know, just means whatever the word is before the itis is swollen). Appendicitis, tendonitis, arthritis, hepatitis, other itises: stay away, I've had enough of your ilk.

I was a pilot for united airlines
then I got fired for reading high times
my license expired in almost no time
now I'm retired and I think that's fine

--"Mexican Wine," Fountains of Wayne

Today I left the house (and my crack books) long enough to see a movie and direct the show at TV-10.

The movie was Constantine. And I do have to say: I DID hear a Bush song on the radio on the way home, it made me laugh. Though it was neither of the ones my friend and I mentioned in the conver about it. The movie itself: okay. Not terribly bad or good, really.

The show was a lot more fun to work on tonight. I still have to watch the finished product sometime, I never have. But this time we had another fairly experienced production person for me to lean on. And also, I found her guest for tonight a lot more interesting than a lot of times. Though I may be biased. I think I have one of those mini-crushes where you meet someone once, and you're pretty sure you'll probably never see them again, but you're SO into them. Anyway, he was there to talk about his opinions on video games (which just goes to show how hot for nerds I am) and he was so dorkily cute and funny about it. I've been having a lot of crushing on people lately, actually, after having not had a lot of problems with it in a long time. But while it's nice to be reminded that I'm not entirely bloodless, it's still frustrating, and reminds me that I'm socially crippled and won't get a boyfriend until I'm 80 and then it'll be because I'm the only old lady with all my teeth, because of all the dental work my parents paid for. Except even that's wrong, because I think it was crappy dental work, my teeth are totally going back to the way they were and I'm getting a gap between the front too.

But really, I'm not bitter. It WAS a good time tonight. And my neck is getting slightly less sore, though from the absence from my books while I went to the movie and TV-10 or because I pulled something earlier and it's just gradually getting better on it's own, I couldn't say.

Gold teeth and a curse for this town
were all in my mouth
only I don't know how
they got out dear

--"New Slang," The Shins

I've not been on much because 1) I've been busy with the books I got for my birthday and 2) this weird intense neckache (which in turn is giving me headaches) I've had for a couple days. My mom has suggested maybe the two are related (because except for work I HAVE been reading nonstop), but I don't think so, because I've gone on "bookbinges" before and not had this problem. I blame Robin Hobb. Her books are like CRACK. Don't start reading any of her trilogies unless you know you're going to have plenty 'o time to finish it.

The only worthwhile story I missed recording is probably the fact that I got to come back up to Bloomington-Normal (the station's in Peoria) for work yesterday. (I'm thinking maybe all the driving helped with the headache...? Those vans have a lot of inertia and every time I brake it feels like whiplash). Anyway, I had a brief break where I actually got to come home and show the newsvan off to the 'rents, who were quite impressed. I even got a home cooked dinner.

But I was late to the thing I was supposed to do after that, which makes me feel bad. I thought I'd estimated the time better. Oh well.... live and learn, I guess. No one yelled at me (though it was a thing I was supposed to shoot for the mellow sports guy, not plastic hair or anyone else particularly scary), but I still felt bad for indulging 2 of the 7 deadly sins (gluttony, vanity) while I should've been doing my job. I mean... I had permission to go home and eat, the reporter I was previously with said so, but I guess I should've been at it faster.

I laugh at your conversational skills (or a lack of)

--"I See Shapes," Idlewild

So, I have a bright idea: leet and cockney. I think they should be combined.

"0w M3 N!46r45" means, "Ow, my balls!"

Think about it. You know the world would be better off with (0(k|\|3`/. It shall be my lasting contribution to the world.

In other news, though it's really tomorrow, we celebrated the 23rd anniversery of me coming into the world, since I work today and the day after. I got ice cream cake! Which touched me, as I've not had a proper birthday dessert in awhile. I also got steak. I've said it before: but somehow, having steak in me makes me feel as if everything's right in the world.

I got:

The Shins -- Oh Inverted World
Idlewild -- Hope is Important
Fountains of Wayne -- Welcome, Interstate Managers
No Doubt -- Greatest Hits
Gavin Degraw -- Chariot

Kurt Vonnegut -- Timequake
Robin Hobb -- the tawny man trilogy.

School of Rock (which I've had the song from in my head all day since watching it)

Bug out your eyes like there's something wrong!

--Dewey Finn, School of Rock

So, two days before my 23rd birthday, I find myself contemplating this:

nobody likes you when you're twenty three
and you still act like you're in freshman year
what the hell is wrong wiht me
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?
what's my age again?

--"What's My Age Again?" Blink 182

and

a decade ago
I never thought I would be
at twenty three
on the verge of spontaneous combustion
woe is me
but I guess that it comes with the territory
anonymous landscape of
never ending calamity
I need you to hear
and I need you to see
that I have had
all that I can take
and exploding seems like a definate possibility
to me

"Pardon Me," Incubus

And I wonder which one I'm more like. Though I probably have both going on. A couple years ago, when I was all bitter, I listened to that Incubus song constantly. A few years before that, when I thought most people were way more mature than me, I was all about the Blink 182 song. Now I hope I'm more balanced than I was at either time. Though I'm probably not. Nowadays, I spend all my time at work crying in the bathroom and avoiding eyecontact with other people. Which means there must be a third, angstier song about my situation out there that I just don't know about.

I was talking about birthdays with a freind, and ended up looking up blog entries I've made on birthdays, and I have to say this conversation I posted on my 21st birthday is the funniest EVER:

Phoemeister: He was about to draw a guy on the board, because it was illustrating something, and someone's like "give him muscles!" so I was like, "Give him a fedora!" and the prof made me draw him. So I gave him blue shorts and a red fedora and bowtie, and a slick pimp cane
Phoemeister: True story
Phoemeister: That was the best H&S class for some time :P
Phoemeister: Ever, even
Talia: because it involved pimps?
Phoemeister: Of course.

Phoemeister: dude
Phoemeister: Gavin Rossdale is totally in Constantine
Phoemeister: I think he's a demon
Sui: whoa
Sui: really?
Phoemeister: yeah
Sui: does he sing?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I don't think so
Phoemeister: which is a shame
Phoemeister: I'd love to see a demon singing Bush songs while beating up Keanu Reeves
Sui: haha
Sui: "I've got a machine head! raaaaar!"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: "It's better than the rest! *kung fu move*"
Phoemeister: "don't let the daaaays go by"
Phoemeister: *ass kicking*
Sui: haha
Sui: raar! *smash* *flame*

New comic: Adware

I think this is a very special valentine's comic that all of you should send to your significant others.

OR

not.

Phoemeister: I bet you've had a better day than I did
Phoemeister: I was totally mooned by teenage boys today.
Kin: Well, my day's really not been that bad.
Kin: And why is that?
Phoemeister: I guess newsvan just screams "moon me"
Phoemeister: eh, that wasn't really the worst part of my day
Phoemeister: but I thought it was funny
Phoemeister: the other stuff I won't really go into
Phoemeister: because it involves an intricate web of office politics
Phoemeister: whearas "naked teenage boy ass" sort of speaks for itself
Kin: Okay.


Yeah, these punk teenagers drove up alongside me, and mooned me while I was driving the newsvan. And I'm like, hey, wouldn't you want to avoid mooning a television van? Aren't you afraid I'd catch it on tape, and in flagrant violation of FCC regulations, broadcast your naked ass across the nation? Don't fuck with the media, my friend!

Except they probably would think it'd be cool to be on TV. And I was too busy driving to stop and get a good shot of the teenager mooning me. So.... yeah.

So, a TON of new comics in the "disturbing search request" section. And they're pretty damn good for being drawn with the nipple instead of a mouse, if I do say so myself.

So, I watched a couple of movies today, and that was about it. Really, I need to start doing stuff.

Anyway, I watched Anchorman & Cellular. I've wanted to see Anchorman forever, but then never seemed to get around to it until now. Given my profession (or hoped-for profession) the reason I wanted to see it is kind of obvious. Anyway, I have to say, not the hilarity I was hoping for. There were a few good lines now and again, and I enjoyed Steve Carrell's character, but it wasn't a constant laughfest or anything. The only scene I REALLY loved that hadn't already been in the trailers was where the rival news teams come to violence. To amuse myself, I sometimes tried to imagine anchors I actually know doing some of the weirder stuff, but it didn't really take.

Cellular was about as good as I expected, which was that it would be okay, but not hugely inventive or anything. My dad's all "I can't suspend my disbelief on that premise" but it irritates me (his reluctance to watch it in the first place is the whole reason we hadn't seen this movie yet though we've seen about every B-level action movie made in the last few years because of him) because he enjoys a lot of movies that depend on far more ludicrous concepts. I also like the fact that Kim Basinger (the woman being rescued) got to kick some major ass at times, so it wasn't straight up "oh, the guy rescues the helpless woman."

So that's what I did today, for the most part.

So I shot hockey today.

Yes, HOCKEY. And if you don't know why I'm putting this in caps, it's because if you think about it, hockey is about the hardest thing ever to follow through a viewfinder. So it's the hardest sport. When I'm not even very good at the easy sports.

This is because there's another hockey game on Sunday and I'll be the only one available for it, apparently. So they had me shoot this one, while someone else came along to get some stuff, so they didn't have to depend soley on my skillz. (which is good.... I gots poor hockey shooting skillz)

Pros and Cons of the experience:

Cons:
1) The guy who took like, 45 minutes this afternoon to skool me on hockey is TOTALLY the guy who's hair I modeled my anchorman comics on. Seriously... I think it's made of plastic or something. You could pop it off his head like a Mr. Potato Head attachement. So anyway, I kept staring at his hair and cracking up and trying not to show it, because bits from my comics like, "scientists have found that the area beneath the anchor desk is a pants-free zone!" kept running through my head.
2) plastic hair is MEAN. After I came back, as well as constructive criticism (which I didn't mind), he also had this to offer, "it's like you're deliberately trying to make it bad!" (which I did mind)
3) if that wasn't enough proof of plastic hair's meanness, maybe this little narrative will sway you to my side: I needed a cutaway, which is basically shooting something happening at the game other than the game, like rowdy fans or some display they have in between periods. So I got these couples who actually got married on the ice in between periods. And one of the women was fat. Oh.... I can't even tell you how many fat jokes plastic hair and other guy made about that poor woman. And they seemed to think all of them were fucking hilarious, though they were pretty standard unimaginative fat jokes. And the other guy is pretty fat himself! Where does he get off?
4) You know how I whine about how I'm sore after basketball? That's like half an hour (if that) of having the camera on my shoulder. Having the camera on my shoulder for a whole hockey game.....? Yeah.

Pros:
1) Media get like 8 bucks worth of free food at the concession stands!
2) I did get a highlight on tv tonight. Other guy says that's phenominal for my first time shooting hockey. Which.... I admit, it was kind of luck. But I'm still proud.
3) Other guy also said that my basketball is WAY better than it used to be, and if I improve on my hockey by that much, I'll be sensational!
4) I want to start calling Hockey "Honkey" and then tell people I'm going out to shoot some Honkey.

Vincent: and it was Phoe she ate the glue.. after I dared her.. she's a bad girl.. and she forced me to eat the crayons!!
Vincent: *sniffles and blubbers*
Phoemeister: Everyone at my gradeschool ate glue. And I mean, I'm serious about this. It was like, the "cool" thing. So I did try it from peer pressure. But I totally knew this girl who was still eating glue by the 6th grade when all of the rest of us had grown out of thinking it was cool.
Phoemeister: but, if I had known you in gradeschool, I SO would've made you eat crayons. Because that strikes me as the type of relationship we have
Vincent: Oh really?
Vincent: I wouldnt have taken your crap woman.. I would looked at you looked at the crayon and been like...
Vincent: "sure!"
Vincent: no no wait!
Vincent: Hell no!
Vincent: thats better
Phoemeister: ha
Phoemeister: I bet you love eating crayons
Phoemeister: I bet you're like, "mmm, burnt sienna!"
Vincent: Hahaha
Vincent: glue eater!
Vincent: I bet you woulda eaten the crayons but you were to busy with you mouth glued shut
Phoemeister: psh
Phoemeister: if you knew anything about eating glue, you would know it doesn't start gluing until it hits your intestine, and they get glued together
Phoemeister: not your mouth
Vincent: LOL
Vincent: like that is any better babe
Phoemeister: hey
Phoemeister: I would still be able to eat crayons if I chose
Phoemeister: I just wouldn't be able to poop them out
Vincent: *hands you a crayon from hsi half eaten box of crayons* prove it glue eater!!
Phoemeister: which is a shame, because I bet crayon poo is very colorful and pretty
Phoemeister: dude
Phoemeister: I don't want to eat crayons right now
Phoemeister: I'm full
Phoemeister: I just had like, a whole bottle of elmer's school glue

Run quick, they're behind us
Didn't think we'd ever make it
This close to safety in one piece
Now you wanna kill me in the act of what could maybe
Save us from sleep and what we are

--"A Favor House Atlantic," Coheed & Cambria

Phoemeister: You never told me you thought of me as a younger you
Phoemeister: I feel honored
Talia: :: laughs:: well it's not something you can just stick in a convo
Phoemeister: true
Phoemeister: "you are coming along well, young apprentice"
Talia: ok, scary quote to use :-P I don't want to be Palpatine
Phoemeister: LOL

Well, I forgot to mention it on the blog, but I'm directing at TV-10 again. Somewhat. Not the actual news, but a friend of mine put together a show called "After the News" and needed someone to direct, and apparently no one was available. So she called me up and bam!

I jumped at the chance because I've sort of been depressed lately. The station I work at is not very warm and fuzzy. I mean, no one's been mean to me, but they all talk shit about each other behind everyone's back, and there are certain people who hate certain other people, and you can't be friends with certain people unless you want to risk other people being pissed off.... I constantly feel incompetant like I don't know what I'm doing, because, in my opinion, I wasn't as well prepared as I should've been in some areas. I'm just waiting to REALLY screw up on something and all hell to break loose. And I'm nervous around most of the people anyway, because I am like that around new people. The only person there that doesn't freak me out is this guy who used to work at TV-10 back in the day, so we were already aquaintances.

So anyway, I came in to do it. It was a little disappointing in that most of the show was going to be put together in post production, so there was not a lot of work for me as the "director." But it was still something. And I got to see some of my old friends. It's always a little sad to go back to places where half of the people have moved on, but it was still nice to see the people who hadn't.

The show itself should be pretty good. The part of it I helped with, the interview, was with someone whose family was in the area affected by the Tsunami. There was also supposed to be a fashion segment, which didn't really happen because the one chick who was supposed to do it pretty much bailed, which I suspected she would because I knew her last semester and she always seems to be bailing on things. Another bit is going to be a conglomeration of some of the better material from TV-10 News over the week. The best bit (I am surmizing, it wasn't finished when I was over there yet, so I haven't seen the first installment), though, I think is going to be the food segment. This guy (and I know him too, and it especially makes me laugh because this is exactly the type of thing he would do) is going to go to someone random woman's house every week, with a photographer, and ask her out to dinner then critique the food.

So that's what I did tonight. I'll probably visit again sometime during the day, when more people around. I need to anyway, there's some stuff I shot back in the day that I never put on my VHS resume tape that I'd like to.

Okay, for my Veggie Tales/Bohemian Rhapsody comic (see previous post), I was looking up Veggie Tales on the net so I would have a good picture to draw off of, and I found this article that is all like, "Larry the Cucumber is a dancing penis!" and it's so funny that at first I thought it was a parody of angry baptists or something, but I kind of think it's real. Anyway, despite the scaryness, it's really hilarious what these people came up with. You should read it if you want a good laugh about how dirty their minds are to come up with this stuff just to claim a line of Christian children's videos is not really Christian, but really "yet another attempt by liberals to force their evil "tolerance" into True Christian homes."

Addendum: Okay. It WAS a parody. I found this when I went to their bumper stickers for sale page that has such gems as: "my catholic priest molested your honor student," "I heart Satan," and "sodomite."

Now that I know it's a parody, I'm less scared. Though it is still kind of mean-spirited, just from the other side.

So, more comics

Under the "comics where I illustrate a search request" category, I have one new one called Veggie Tales and Bohemian Rhapsody. I don't know if it's particularly funny, but it cracks me up, which is the important thing, right?

Under the regular category, I have a whopping 4 new ones that basically I'd done but hadn't uploaded yet:

Anchorman Note the lifelike anchorman hair.
Anchorman part Deux
Anchorman III
Feminine Hygiene (which, I warn you is kind of disgusting, but again, it made ME laugh, so I put it up anyway)

So a guy at work and I were discussing the Jimmy Eat World song, "Work." It kind of seems like it's about the prom to me, (and he agrees) but he told me that in the video, they kind of go with the title, "work," with all these high school kids saying what they want to be when they grow up. Anyway, he told me he thinks it might end up being the "high school graduation song" this year.

I was like, "Wha?" and he's like, "Well, you know how every year there's this sentimental song that's about leaving, or good advice for the future or something?" And it clicked: there WAS a graduation song the year I graduated. The cleverly titled, "Graduation Song," by Vitamin C. I'd never really thought of it as being a multiple year trend, because most graduation songs don't come right out and call themselves "Graduation Song." But he's like, "No, the year I graduated, it was totally "Everyone's Free To Wear Sunscreen. And the year before that, it was "Good Riddance" by Greenday, and I was totally disappointed to get stupid lame Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen, when the year previous got the cool Greenday song." And I totally agreed. Hell, I think Graduation Song's worse than Sunscreen, because you can just TELL whoever wrote Graduation Song made it SOLEY to cash in on this trend and people's feelings of sentimentality. Whereas Baz Luhrman (the person who put Sunscreen, originally a commencement speech by some lady, to music), obviously does fine without releasing music, and made it sheerly because he wanted to, as far as I can tell. But yeah, I admit I get a little misty whenever anyone resurrects Graduation Song, despite myself.

So apparently he does a lot of thinking about this, because he told me that the year preceeding the Greenday song was Bittersweet Symphony, by the Verve. Which we both agreed is an awesome song, that we also wished we'd had instead of Graduation Song/Sunscreen. And he said he thought the one after Graduation Song was "Heres to the Night" by Eve 6. Which, honestly, I love Eve 6 in general, but despise the song. I don't know his thoughts on it, as our conversation was disrupted just then. But anyway, now I'm really curious about this trend. How long has it been happening? Does it still happen? What've the other songs been? So I'm asking for people to comment, or correct, the timeline I've made just now in my spare dorky time:

1997 -- Bittersweet Symphony -- The Verve
1998 -- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) -- Greenday
1999 -- Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen -- Baz Luhrman
2000 -- Graduation Song -- Vitamin C
2001 -- Here's To the Night -- Eve 6

As we go on
we remember
all the times we
shared together *sniff* *sniff*

--"Graduation Song," Vitamin C