My mom can play the accordion. Or so she says. She's probably so out of practice that she can't anymore. But it still blows my mind that technically, my mom can play the accordion.

I've never actually heard her do it, though. She actually hates it, because her mother made her take accordion lessons when she didn't want to. And, obviously, because it's such a dorky instrument, though for me the dorkiness is a plus because I think it's hilarious. I'm always telling people that my mom can play the accordion. I wish she actually did. I would really get a kick out of being able to elaborate. "Man, my mom can belt out Roll Out the Barrel like nothin'! She's a polka maniac on the accordion!"

But anyway, I heard the BEST thing yesterday. My grandma also badgered my uncle into playing... the banjo. The banjo! I can understand maybe having a weird love of the accordion, or a weird love of the banjo, but both? This is insane! I wonder if she just did it as a punishment to make Mom & my uncle as dorky as possible, there seems to be no way that someone would just straight out choose both of those instruments to make their kid learn.

But the best part? My mom said she made her and my uncle play them together for company! Seriously, I have to build a time machine to go back and hear that. What song would you even play? I would spend every nickel I have to hear someone play the banjo & accordion together. Seriously.

10 to 1 if my Mom had another sibling, he or she would've learnt the bagpipes.


He may not have a clue
and he may not have style
but everything he lacks,
well, he makes up in denial!

--"Pretty Fly for a White Guy," Offspring