Well, second day of work. I can already tell it's going to be better than WEEK. I mean, the first day at WEEK, people were all: avoid so and so, he's a jackass. Did you hear about how whatsisface fucked up last week? Whatsername is such a bitch!
And here, people are all, "You'll like it! The people here are really nice! The best thing about this job is the people! I love my coworkers!"
So yay.
I think the only downside so far is my feet and legs ache like crazy from being on my feet all day. I really really hope I get used to it, otherwise it'll totally be the suxxor.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Well... First day 'o work--lots of training. Now I know not to sexually harass anyone or let people shoplift!
Anyway, it went pretty well, though there's SO much to remember. And honestly, the classification system in that place is ridiculous. But I'm hoping I'll get used to it.
Also, I watched Rock Star INXS tonight, and I have to say that one chick ROCKED Bohemian Rhapsody SO HARD. I thought it might be crappy, one guy on there absolutely mauled We Are The Champions once, but tonight Bohemian Rhapsody was so awesome. Also, they have a really good backing band on that show, and tonight they had strings and horns and a choir and everything. That made Wish You Were Here better, too.
Anyway, it went pretty well, though there's SO much to remember. And honestly, the classification system in that place is ridiculous. But I'm hoping I'll get used to it.
Also, I watched Rock Star INXS tonight, and I have to say that one chick ROCKED Bohemian Rhapsody SO HARD. I thought it might be crappy, one guy on there absolutely mauled We Are The Champions once, but tonight Bohemian Rhapsody was so awesome. Also, they have a really good backing band on that show, and tonight they had strings and horns and a choir and everything. That made Wish You Were Here better, too.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Phoemeister: boo
Sarcasmyst: eek!
Phoemeister: thanks for the pity-scared :P
Sarcasmyst: *grin* I try
Phoemeister: and for that, I deem you a friend. That and the mutual steak-love
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* I am just a good person, I guess.
Phoemeister: indeed
Phoemeister: 1) Love steak
2) Try
Phoemeister: those are the only requirements
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* You need a t-shirt
Phoemeister: That says "All you need to be a good person is to love steak and try"?
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* Or just 1) Love steak 2) Try
Phoemeister: my eating schedule, as well as my sleeping schedule is getting messed up by my waking up earlier and earlier. I'm just hungry all the time
Sarcasmyst: *nods* I always get hungry when I'm sleep deprived, too.
Phoemeister: stupid... circadian rhythms
Sarcasmyst: jah
Sarcasmyst: also, body burns more energy tryign to stay awake if you're tired.
Phoemeister: interesting. Maybe that'll be my new diet. The "tired and hungry diet." But it can only end with me passing out and then eating a giant steak when I wake up again, really.
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* mm, giant steak
Sarcasmyst: and the conversation comes full circle. *grin*
Phoemeister: Dammit
Phoemeister: I cannot escape it's siren's call
Sarcasmyst: eek!
Phoemeister: thanks for the pity-scared :P
Sarcasmyst: *grin* I try
Phoemeister: and for that, I deem you a friend. That and the mutual steak-love
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* I am just a good person, I guess.
Phoemeister: indeed
Phoemeister: 1) Love steak
2) Try
Phoemeister: those are the only requirements
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* You need a t-shirt
Phoemeister: That says "All you need to be a good person is to love steak and try"?
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* Or just 1) Love steak 2) Try
Phoemeister: my eating schedule, as well as my sleeping schedule is getting messed up by my waking up earlier and earlier. I'm just hungry all the time
Sarcasmyst: *nods* I always get hungry when I'm sleep deprived, too.
Phoemeister: stupid... circadian rhythms
Sarcasmyst: jah
Sarcasmyst: also, body burns more energy tryign to stay awake if you're tired.
Phoemeister: interesting. Maybe that'll be my new diet. The "tired and hungry diet." But it can only end with me passing out and then eating a giant steak when I wake up again, really.
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* mm, giant steak
Sarcasmyst: and the conversation comes full circle. *grin*
Phoemeister: Dammit
Phoemeister: I cannot escape it's siren's call
Saturday, August 27, 2005
So I got the new alarm clock today. I still actually kind of didn't want to, because the old one does work sometimes, and I hate just chucking things that still kind of work. This is the reason I have a thousand headphones where only one side works just lying around.
It's got a CD player in it too, but it's by the same maker as my old one. So while there are some changes in the controls, I'm thinking they're not too terribly different. Which is good. Because I'm like an idiot-savant when it comes to alarm clocks. Only instead of being impaired at most things, and then brilliant at one or two such as Rain-Man, I'm average at most things and horribly impaired at working an alarm clock.
I guess half the problem is my schedule at school was rather complicated, so I was always having to set it over and over to new times and I usually did it the night before when I was all tired and stuff.
I also have had this problem where I'm half asleep and hit a button different than the reset button, and for some reason that makes it so I can't turn it off even with the proper button, and I go straight from half asleep to mindless panic and it takes forever in the panicked state to fix things. I imagine it must look pretty funny to an outside observer.
In other news, the colitis has been worse lately, which is crappy because I don't want it interfering when I go to work. I mean, when I get the "urge," I can hold it, but it hurts like hell. Which is painful, obviously, and distracting as well.
new alternatune
It's got a CD player in it too, but it's by the same maker as my old one. So while there are some changes in the controls, I'm thinking they're not too terribly different. Which is good. Because I'm like an idiot-savant when it comes to alarm clocks. Only instead of being impaired at most things, and then brilliant at one or two such as Rain-Man, I'm average at most things and horribly impaired at working an alarm clock.
I guess half the problem is my schedule at school was rather complicated, so I was always having to set it over and over to new times and I usually did it the night before when I was all tired and stuff.
I also have had this problem where I'm half asleep and hit a button different than the reset button, and for some reason that makes it so I can't turn it off even with the proper button, and I go straight from half asleep to mindless panic and it takes forever in the panicked state to fix things. I imagine it must look pretty funny to an outside observer.
In other news, the colitis has been worse lately, which is crappy because I don't want it interfering when I go to work. I mean, when I get the "urge," I can hold it, but it hurts like hell. Which is painful, obviously, and distracting as well.
new alternatune
Friday, August 26, 2005
Welcome to "no good segue friday."
So I'm trying to get my circadian rhythm sorted out by the time I start training for my job on Tuesday by gradually waking up earlier and earlier. As a result I've been dead tired the last couple days. Actually, it works far better for me to do something like this in one fell swoop. As cranky as I am without sleep, if I'm sufficiently excited about whatever it is I have to get up early for, I usually am pretty cheerful and function properly. I used to have to do it all the time for TV-10 (I'd have one day a week where I had to get up 4 hours earlier than the rest of the week), or in high school when I had Scholastic Bowl (tournements were obsenely early in the morning). And at the beginning every semester I'd go from getting up at like noon to getting up at a proper time for class.
But.... my mom's kind of prodding me to do it this way so I don't end up all tired my first day of training, and it's just easier to do it than argue with her.
Anyway, the job gives me hope that someday I can move out, and then I'll no longer have to ever again utter the phrase "it's just easier to do it than argue with her."
I'm going to need to get a new alarm clock. The one I have has a battery so theoretically it's supposed to still go off if the power blinks off. But the battery part of it just doesn't work, no matter how many times we change the battery, and the power blinks off constantly at my house. Which, is kind of weird. I know we live out on the edge of town and everything, but it didn't used to blink out as often as it does nowadays. Seriously. Every two or three days it blinks out. And every damn time I have to reset the VCR and my alarm clock. It's a pain.
When I had the interview, they asked me (among a THOUSAND much more painfully difficult questions) what my favorite author was, and of course, I picked Kurt Vonnegut without even really thinking (the title of this blog is the title of a collection of his short stories, if anyone doesn't know that already). The guy seemed surprised. I'm not sure if it's because I was like, "oh, I like pulpy genre books," and then bust out a serious author as my favorite, or if it was because I was really trying hard to be the sort of cheerful, friendly, person that you would want to buy books from, and then turned around and picked a depressing author as my favorite.
No, Kurt Vonnegut isn't Dr. Zhivago or Shakespearean tragedy depressing. He's more gently bitter. He kind of points out everything that's horribly depressing and/or fucked up about society, but he does it partially tongue-in-cheek with characters you can enjoy, and no one dies from a lingering illness or commits suicide or anything. So after most of his books, I feel a little melancholy, but not as depressed as say, after I watch something about the war in Iraq.
And they also asked me what my favorite movie is and what I'd say to someone if I were trying to get them to buy it. This was also kind of a no-brainer, I went with Pleasantville. Since I've written school papers on it AND been trying to make people I know watch it and love it as much as I do for years now, so I actually have a kind of canned spiel about why it's so awesome already. And it hit me, Pleasantville is also gently bitter. Because one of the issues it attacks is nostalgia, and how people always think things used to be better. But they never were. No matter what era you think of, there's always been something horribly wrong. And it's a depressing thought that it's not so much things were better and now they're going downhill, but after all this time we never got it right and maybe never will. But the delivery is this fun, slightly goofy narrative.
And then I was thinking of my favorite musical artist, Ben Folds. And he's the same. I mean, there's purely funny songs of his, and the rare serious happy song. But as a whole... he's got the mildly bitter thing going on. Fred Jones is this song about this guy who's worked at this place so long that no one there even knows who he is or cares, and now he's retiring and doesn't even have that anymore. "He's forgotten but not yet gone." The Ascent of Stan is about this guy who was a hippie when he was young and sold out and now he's this miserable middle aged man who wishes he was poor but happy again. Fair is about this couple that's having an arguement, and the woman gets in the car to drive off, but the guy jumps onto the hood of the car. She hits the brakes to stop and get out and tell him she was wrong, and he's thrown into traffic and dies. He's got a couple songs that are just generally, "growing up kind of stinks."
So I'm wondering if I'm just one of those people who actually TRIES to be depressed all the time. I hate those people. You talk to them about music, and inevitably their favorite is the most depressing band possible. And if they like any other bands, their favorite song is the most depressing song that band has to offer. I guess at least I only like mildly depressing things, though. I mean, Pleasantville is no Schindler's list and I don't sit in my room dressed in black listening to The Cure all day.
Eh. That was just some stuff I had in my head I felt like yammering about.
So I'm trying to get my circadian rhythm sorted out by the time I start training for my job on Tuesday by gradually waking up earlier and earlier. As a result I've been dead tired the last couple days. Actually, it works far better for me to do something like this in one fell swoop. As cranky as I am without sleep, if I'm sufficiently excited about whatever it is I have to get up early for, I usually am pretty cheerful and function properly. I used to have to do it all the time for TV-10 (I'd have one day a week where I had to get up 4 hours earlier than the rest of the week), or in high school when I had Scholastic Bowl (tournements were obsenely early in the morning). And at the beginning every semester I'd go from getting up at like noon to getting up at a proper time for class.
But.... my mom's kind of prodding me to do it this way so I don't end up all tired my first day of training, and it's just easier to do it than argue with her.
Anyway, the job gives me hope that someday I can move out, and then I'll no longer have to ever again utter the phrase "it's just easier to do it than argue with her."
I'm going to need to get a new alarm clock. The one I have has a battery so theoretically it's supposed to still go off if the power blinks off. But the battery part of it just doesn't work, no matter how many times we change the battery, and the power blinks off constantly at my house. Which, is kind of weird. I know we live out on the edge of town and everything, but it didn't used to blink out as often as it does nowadays. Seriously. Every two or three days it blinks out. And every damn time I have to reset the VCR and my alarm clock. It's a pain.
When I had the interview, they asked me (among a THOUSAND much more painfully difficult questions) what my favorite author was, and of course, I picked Kurt Vonnegut without even really thinking (the title of this blog is the title of a collection of his short stories, if anyone doesn't know that already). The guy seemed surprised. I'm not sure if it's because I was like, "oh, I like pulpy genre books," and then bust out a serious author as my favorite, or if it was because I was really trying hard to be the sort of cheerful, friendly, person that you would want to buy books from, and then turned around and picked a depressing author as my favorite.
No, Kurt Vonnegut isn't Dr. Zhivago or Shakespearean tragedy depressing. He's more gently bitter. He kind of points out everything that's horribly depressing and/or fucked up about society, but he does it partially tongue-in-cheek with characters you can enjoy, and no one dies from a lingering illness or commits suicide or anything. So after most of his books, I feel a little melancholy, but not as depressed as say, after I watch something about the war in Iraq.
And they also asked me what my favorite movie is and what I'd say to someone if I were trying to get them to buy it. This was also kind of a no-brainer, I went with Pleasantville. Since I've written school papers on it AND been trying to make people I know watch it and love it as much as I do for years now, so I actually have a kind of canned spiel about why it's so awesome already. And it hit me, Pleasantville is also gently bitter. Because one of the issues it attacks is nostalgia, and how people always think things used to be better. But they never were. No matter what era you think of, there's always been something horribly wrong. And it's a depressing thought that it's not so much things were better and now they're going downhill, but after all this time we never got it right and maybe never will. But the delivery is this fun, slightly goofy narrative.
And then I was thinking of my favorite musical artist, Ben Folds. And he's the same. I mean, there's purely funny songs of his, and the rare serious happy song. But as a whole... he's got the mildly bitter thing going on. Fred Jones is this song about this guy who's worked at this place so long that no one there even knows who he is or cares, and now he's retiring and doesn't even have that anymore. "He's forgotten but not yet gone." The Ascent of Stan is about this guy who was a hippie when he was young and sold out and now he's this miserable middle aged man who wishes he was poor but happy again. Fair is about this couple that's having an arguement, and the woman gets in the car to drive off, but the guy jumps onto the hood of the car. She hits the brakes to stop and get out and tell him she was wrong, and he's thrown into traffic and dies. He's got a couple songs that are just generally, "growing up kind of stinks."
So I'm wondering if I'm just one of those people who actually TRIES to be depressed all the time. I hate those people. You talk to them about music, and inevitably their favorite is the most depressing band possible. And if they like any other bands, their favorite song is the most depressing song that band has to offer. I guess at least I only like mildly depressing things, though. I mean, Pleasantville is no Schindler's list and I don't sit in my room dressed in black listening to The Cure all day.
Eh. That was just some stuff I had in my head I felt like yammering about.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Meme time!
A. Go here.
B. Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search box
C. Bold for the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite.
I personally didn't do anything to songs I feel neutral about or can't remember.
Top 100 Hits of 2000
1. Breathe, Faith Hill
2. Smooth, Santana Featuring Rob Thomas
3.Say My Name, Destiny's Child
4. I Wanna Know, Joe
5. Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon
6. Maria Maria, Santana Featuring The Product G&B
7. Bent, Matchbox Twenty
8.Amazed, Lonestar
9.I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden
10. He Wasn't Man Enough, Toni Braxton
11. Higher, Creed
12. .Try Again, Aaliyah
13. There You Go, Pink
14.Thong Song, Sisqo
15. Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down
16.Jumpin Jumpin', Destiny's Child
17.What A Girl Wants, Christina Aguilera
18. Doesn't Really Matter, Janet
19. Music, Madonna
20.Back At One, Brian McKnight
21.Bye Bye Bye, 'N Sync
22.You Sang To Me, Marc Anthony
23.I Need To Know, Marc Anthony
24. Get It On Tonite, Montell Jordan
25. Incomplete, Sisqo
26. I Try, Macy Gray
27.It's Gonna Be Me, 'N Sync
28. That's The Way It Is, Celine Dion
29.(Hot S**T) Country Grammar, Nelly
30. Bring It All To Me, Blaque
31.Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely, Backstreet Boys
32. Hot Boyz, Missy Elliott Featuring Nas, EVE & Q-Tip
33. Back Here, BBMak
34. It Feels So Good, Sonique
35. Absolutely (Story Of A Girl), Nine Days
36. With Arms Wide Open, Creed
37. Be With You, Enrique Iglesias
38. Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You), Christina Aguilera
39. No More, Ruff Endz
40. All The Small Things, Blink 182
41. The Way You Love Me, Faith Hill
42. I Turn To You, Christina Aguilera
43. Never Let You Go, Third Eye Blind
44. I Need You, LeAnn Rimes
45. Thank God I Found You, Mariah Carey Featuring Joe & 98 Degrees
46. Let's Get Married, Jagged Edge
47. My Love Is Your Love, Whitney Houston
48. Then The Morning Comes, Smash Mouth
49. Blue (Da Ba Dee), Eiffel 65
50.Desert Rose, Sting Featuring Cheb Mami
51.The Real Slim Shady, Eminem
52.Most Girls, Pink
53. Wifey, Next
54. Wonderful, Everclear
55.Oops!... I Did It Again, Britney Spears
56. I Wanna Love You Forever, Jessica Simpson
57.Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche ), 98 Degrees
58.Take A Picture, Filter
59. Otherside, Red Hot Chili Peppers
60. Big Pimpin', Jay-Z Featuring UGK
61. Purest Of Pain (A Puro Dolor), Son By Four
62. He Can't Love U, Jagged Edge
63. Separated, Avant
64. I Wish, Carl Thomas
65. U Know What's Up, Donell Jones
66. Faded, SoulDecision Featuring Thrust
67.Only God Knows Why, Kid Rock
68. Shake Ya Ass, Mystikal
69. Bag Lady, Erykah Badu
70. Meet Virginia, Train
71. Party Up (Up In Here), DMX
72. Case Of The Ex (Whatcha Gonna Do), Mya
73. Forget About Dre, Dr. Dre Featuring Eminem
74. That's The Way, Jo Dee Messina
75. Swear It Again, Westlife
76. The Next Episode, Dr. Dre Featuring Snoop Dogg
77. From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart, Britney Spears
78.Crash And Burn, Savage Garden
79. Yes!, Chad Brock
80. The Best Day, George Strait
81. How Do You Like Me Now?!, Toby Keith
82. Where I Wanna Be, Donell Jones
83. My Best Friend, Tim McGraw
84. Broadway, Goo Goo Dolls
85. Dance With Me, Debelah Morgan
86. Don't Think I'm Not, Kandi
87.I Hope You Dance, Lee Ann Womack & Sons Of The Desert
88. Better Off Alone, Alice Deejay
89. What'chu Like, Da Brat Featuring Tyrese
90.Cowboy Take Me Away, Dixie Chicks
91. I Like It, Sammie
92. 24/7, Kevon Edmonds
93.Girl On TV, LFO
94. Bounce With Me, Lil Bow Wow Featuring Xscape
95. What About Now, Lonestar
96. I Don't Wanna, Aaliyah
97.Independent Women Part I, Destiny's Child
98. Shackles (Praise You), Mary Mary
99. Waiting For Tonight, Jennifer Lopez
100. Gotta Tell You, Samantha Mumba
I don't know who compiles these, but I found it shocking the number of songs I didn't remember.
A. Go here.
B. Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search box
C. Bold for the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite.
I personally didn't do anything to songs I feel neutral about or can't remember.
Top 100 Hits of 2000
1. Breathe, Faith Hill
2. Smooth, Santana Featuring Rob Thomas
3.
4. I Wanna Know, Joe
5. Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon
6. Maria Maria, Santana Featuring The Product G&B
7. Bent, Matchbox Twenty
8.
9.
10. He Wasn't Man Enough, Toni Braxton
11. Higher, Creed
12. .Try Again, Aaliyah
13. There You Go, Pink
14.
15. Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down
16.
17.
18. Doesn't Really Matter, Janet
19. Music, Madonna
20.
21.
22.
23.
24. Get It On Tonite, Montell Jordan
25. Incomplete, Sisqo
26. I Try, Macy Gray
27.
28. That's The Way It Is, Celine Dion
29.
30. Bring It All To Me, Blaque
31.
32. Hot Boyz, Missy Elliott Featuring Nas, EVE & Q-Tip
33. Back Here, BBMak
34. It Feels So Good, Sonique
35. Absolutely (Story Of A Girl), Nine Days
36. With Arms Wide Open, Creed
37. Be With You, Enrique Iglesias
38. Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You), Christina Aguilera
39. No More, Ruff Endz
40. All The Small Things, Blink 182
41. The Way You Love Me, Faith Hill
42. I Turn To You, Christina Aguilera
43. Never Let You Go, Third Eye Blind
44. I Need You, LeAnn Rimes
45. Thank God I Found You, Mariah Carey Featuring Joe & 98 Degrees
46. Let's Get Married, Jagged Edge
47. My Love Is Your Love, Whitney Houston
48. Then The Morning Comes, Smash Mouth
49. Blue (Da Ba Dee), Eiffel 65
50.
51.
52.
53. Wifey, Next
54. Wonderful, Everclear
55.
56. I Wanna Love You Forever, Jessica Simpson
57.
58.
59. Otherside, Red Hot Chili Peppers
60. Big Pimpin', Jay-Z Featuring UGK
61. Purest Of Pain (A Puro Dolor), Son By Four
62. He Can't Love U, Jagged Edge
63. Separated, Avant
64. I Wish, Carl Thomas
65. U Know What's Up, Donell Jones
66. Faded, SoulDecision Featuring Thrust
67.
68. Shake Ya Ass, Mystikal
69. Bag Lady, Erykah Badu
70. Meet Virginia, Train
71. Party Up (Up In Here), DMX
72. Case Of The Ex (Whatcha Gonna Do), Mya
73. Forget About Dre, Dr. Dre Featuring Eminem
74. That's The Way, Jo Dee Messina
75. Swear It Again, Westlife
76. The Next Episode, Dr. Dre Featuring Snoop Dogg
77. From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart, Britney Spears
78.
79. Yes!, Chad Brock
80. The Best Day, George Strait
81. How Do You Like Me Now?!, Toby Keith
82. Where I Wanna Be, Donell Jones
83. My Best Friend, Tim McGraw
84. Broadway, Goo Goo Dolls
85. Dance With Me, Debelah Morgan
86. Don't Think I'm Not, Kandi
87.
88. Better Off Alone, Alice Deejay
89. What'chu Like, Da Brat Featuring Tyrese
90.
91. I Like It, Sammie
92. 24/7, Kevon Edmonds
93.
94. Bounce With Me, Lil Bow Wow Featuring Xscape
95. What About Now, Lonestar
96. I Don't Wanna, Aaliyah
97.
98. Shackles (Praise You), Mary Mary
99. Waiting For Tonight, Jennifer Lopez
100. Gotta Tell You, Samantha Mumba
I don't know who compiles these, but I found it shocking the number of songs I didn't remember.
Phoemeister: this is exactly the type of humor I'm going to have to supress at work, so I have to get it all out now :P
Sui: are you kidding? Bookstore patrons love a good "nachos in the ass" joke
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: Hell, that's going to be the name of our new product line
Phoemeister: "Hello sir, would you like regular Atlas Shrugged or the exclusive "Nachos in the Ass" edition?"
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: I'm going to pitch that idea to my manager
Sui: you should totally do it
Phoemeister: Oh
Phoemeister: I will
Phoemeister: I think you should pitch nachos in the ass to the school people
Sui: haha especially to the kids
Sui: Those kids eat anything
Sui: are you kidding? Bookstore patrons love a good "nachos in the ass" joke
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: Hell, that's going to be the name of our new product line
Phoemeister: "Hello sir, would you like regular Atlas Shrugged or the exclusive "Nachos in the Ass" edition?"
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: I'm going to pitch that idea to my manager
Sui: you should totally do it
Phoemeister: Oh
Phoemeister: I will
Phoemeister: I think you should pitch nachos in the ass to the school people
Sui: haha especially to the kids
Sui: Those kids eat anything
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Well I guess coked up weasels must be charming to someone, because...... I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe it was all the vibes. Thanks, people :)
Anyway, they had told me I wouldn't hear anything until Monday, but they called today, and told me I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!
The funny thing is this morning I got a call from one of the many other places I've applied to and they offered me an interview, which I set up for Friday, figuring since I didn't know yet that I GOT THE JOB!!!!!! I shouldn't blow off whatever this other place is. Honestly: I don't even know what it is, the company's got some non-descript name and I applied to enough jobs at the time that it's kind of a blur. But now I don't have to try and appear enthusiastic about some job I don't even care about, because I GOT THE JOB!!!! that I really wanted.
Oh, and the hilarious thing is I don't even know what my job is. Because there were several jobs up for grabs (which I think most likely I got seller or cashier), and I was so excited when the lady called me up and told me I got it, I forgot to ask which I got. And I called up my sister to thank her because she was the person who saw the help wanted sign at the place I NOW WORK AT!!!! and told me about it, and she was like, "which job did you get?" and I was like, ".....I don't know."
Also, I feel like such an adult. I have a 401K plan! A 401K plan! Or so I'm assuming. The job descriptions offered that, plus full health plan and dental plan and all that. So anyway, my first day is Tuesday, and then I have a week of training.
I'm going to rock this job SO HARD. Really. Even though I'm not quite sure what it is.
Maybe it was all the vibes. Thanks, people :)
Anyway, they had told me I wouldn't hear anything until Monday, but they called today, and told me I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!
The funny thing is this morning I got a call from one of the many other places I've applied to and they offered me an interview, which I set up for Friday, figuring since I didn't know yet that I GOT THE JOB!!!!!! I shouldn't blow off whatever this other place is. Honestly: I don't even know what it is, the company's got some non-descript name and I applied to enough jobs at the time that it's kind of a blur. But now I don't have to try and appear enthusiastic about some job I don't even care about, because I GOT THE JOB!!!! that I really wanted.
Oh, and the hilarious thing is I don't even know what my job is. Because there were several jobs up for grabs (which I think most likely I got seller or cashier), and I was so excited when the lady called me up and told me I got it, I forgot to ask which I got. And I called up my sister to thank her because she was the person who saw the help wanted sign at the place I NOW WORK AT!!!! and told me about it, and she was like, "which job did you get?" and I was like, ".....I don't know."
Also, I feel like such an adult. I have a 401K plan! A 401K plan! Or so I'm assuming. The job descriptions offered that, plus full health plan and dental plan and all that. So anyway, my first day is Tuesday, and then I have a week of training.
I'm going to rock this job SO HARD. Really. Even though I'm not quite sure what it is.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Gah. I suck SO much at interviews. I'd be babbling on for 20 minutes (I do that when I'm nervous) and then realize I hadn't made eye contact with the interviewer in all that time. And I stuck my foot in my mouth a couple times. And those questions are just impossible, sometimes. And I act like a coked up weasel.
So anyway, I find out monday whether I get the job or not. So send more good vibes, people! :P
Also: new Alternatune, I'm looking for a better title for it, so even if you HATE reading it normally, go over there anyway and suggest a kickass title for me to use.
So anyway, I find out monday whether I get the job or not. So send more good vibes, people! :P
Also: new Alternatune, I'm looking for a better title for it, so even if you HATE reading it normally, go over there anyway and suggest a kickass title for me to use.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Oh, also: I forgot to recount my day for you. I actually did something!
My mom and I went to the mall so I could get some swim goggles. I've gained like, a ton of weight the last few months, and the only excercise I get is walking. I hate doing it on the treadmill, because somehow, even walking, I always seem to manage to pull something whenever I do it. And I haven't wanted to walk outside because it's been so hot. And then, I was like, "Hey, duh, what excercise is the most fun in hot weather? Swimming!"
And actually, no excercise that you do by yourself is fun, but I don't have anyone who wants to school me at badminton at the moment, so... it's all about the swimming.
Weirdly: I can still fit in the two swimsuits I have that I got when I was in like, Jr. High. Thank you, stretchy, stretchy spandex. But my goggles are all old and crappy, so I needed new ones.
For the record: I did go swimming once a couple days ago with the bad goggles, and I miss when I was a little kid and not all old and tired. I got tired within 15 minutes. But the burning means it's working, I guess, so if I can keep up any sort of enthusiasm at all for swimming, I should be in much better shape soon.
We also went to Bath and Body Works. I have had a gift card from them since Christmas, and am always meaning to use it up, and finally I did. I got grapefruit body wash that smells just delicious and this relaxing spearmint-eucalyptus body wash. I always have to get body wash, because I never use lotion or perfume. Not on purpose--I buy it or someone buys it for me, and I like it, but then I never think to use it. Oh, and my mom bought me a candle of the same spearmint-eucalyptus stuff. Just because. Yummy.
My mom and I went to the mall so I could get some swim goggles. I've gained like, a ton of weight the last few months, and the only excercise I get is walking. I hate doing it on the treadmill, because somehow, even walking, I always seem to manage to pull something whenever I do it. And I haven't wanted to walk outside because it's been so hot. And then, I was like, "Hey, duh, what excercise is the most fun in hot weather? Swimming!"
And actually, no excercise that you do by yourself is fun, but I don't have anyone who wants to school me at badminton at the moment, so... it's all about the swimming.
Weirdly: I can still fit in the two swimsuits I have that I got when I was in like, Jr. High. Thank you, stretchy, stretchy spandex. But my goggles are all old and crappy, so I needed new ones.
For the record: I did go swimming once a couple days ago with the bad goggles, and I miss when I was a little kid and not all old and tired. I got tired within 15 minutes. But the burning means it's working, I guess, so if I can keep up any sort of enthusiasm at all for swimming, I should be in much better shape soon.
We also went to Bath and Body Works. I have had a gift card from them since Christmas, and am always meaning to use it up, and finally I did. I got grapefruit body wash that smells just delicious and this relaxing spearmint-eucalyptus body wash. I always have to get body wash, because I never use lotion or perfume. Not on purpose--I buy it or someone buys it for me, and I like it, but then I never think to use it. Oh, and my mom bought me a candle of the same spearmint-eucalyptus stuff. Just because. Yummy.
So I have an interview tomorrow for a job I REALLY, REALLY want.
I mean, some of the jobs I've been applying for, I'd take, but I wasn't overly excited about.
But this one I AM. And I got an INTERVIEW! Which hasn't happened for most of the jobs I've been applying for. Let's just hope that I get the actual job! If I get THIS job, not getting hired for anything else and being miserable the last few months will have been worth it, just because instead of ending up with a job I don't even care about, I'll get a job I REALLY want. This one!
So send me your positive vibes, all you (2?) people who read this. Because I really need AND want this job.
Also: new alternatune, pretty much whingeing about Ben Folds selling some songs exclusively on Itunes.
I mean, some of the jobs I've been applying for, I'd take, but I wasn't overly excited about.
But this one I AM. And I got an INTERVIEW! Which hasn't happened for most of the jobs I've been applying for. Let's just hope that I get the actual job! If I get THIS job, not getting hired for anything else and being miserable the last few months will have been worth it, just because instead of ending up with a job I don't even care about, I'll get a job I REALLY want. This one!
So send me your positive vibes, all you (2?) people who read this. Because I really need AND want this job.
Also: new alternatune, pretty much whingeing about Ben Folds selling some songs exclusively on Itunes.
Friday, August 19, 2005
I found this really cool site of free desktop wallpaper. It's really cool looking, and some of the ones trying to be funny are fairly hilarious. My favorites were:
Homies
The End
The Sea
Top of the Foodchain
Hamster
Robot Love
The Law
Zoo
They kind of remind me of this one style of illustrating kids books that was crazy popular when I was little then kind of petered out. Anyway, I went through and looked at every one (there's over 100), and most of them are pretty cool.
Homies
The End
The Sea
Top of the Foodchain
Hamster
Robot Love
The Law
Zoo
They kind of remind me of this one style of illustrating kids books that was crazy popular when I was little then kind of petered out. Anyway, I went through and looked at every one (there's over 100), and most of them are pretty cool.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
More sad news: the carnies are moving out of my neighborhood, or at least they have a "for sale" sign up on the house. Man, I used to get a lot of mileage out of that story.
My dad says I could just keep telling people I have carnies living in my neighborhood anyway, but I think that would be kind of pathetic.
I might do it anyway.
In other news, we will STILL have the people in the neighborhood who have a trailer advertizing hot air balloon rides. No, really. For the longest time I thought they were carnies too, because the trailer had all sorts of colors and said something about balloons, but one day I walked by and it was open and I saw all the hot air balloon stuff, like the sandbags and the little basket.
Which is a rather pathetic anecdote compared to being able to claim you have carnies in the 'hood.
Did I NOT ASK FOR MERLOT?
--Cybil Shepard from that made for TV Martha Stewart movie from awhile ago.
My dad says I could just keep telling people I have carnies living in my neighborhood anyway, but I think that would be kind of pathetic.
I might do it anyway.
In other news, we will STILL have the people in the neighborhood who have a trailer advertizing hot air balloon rides. No, really. For the longest time I thought they were carnies too, because the trailer had all sorts of colors and said something about balloons, but one day I walked by and it was open and I saw all the hot air balloon stuff, like the sandbags and the little basket.
Which is a rather pathetic anecdote compared to being able to claim you have carnies in the 'hood.
Did I NOT ASK FOR MERLOT?
--Cybil Shepard from that made for TV Martha Stewart movie from awhile ago.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Today was my sister's birthday. We didn't really have much to give her. Since her husband's birthday was right before the move and hers is right after, we just got them both cash at about when his was, to save them from having more things to move. We also went out to dinner.
I felt kind of sorry for her. The whole time, my parents are all fixated on the baby and what he's doing. I guess I shouldn't feel sorry for her. If she really wanted to, I suppose she could've just gotten a sitter for tonight. Heaven knows it would be easier. Since the 'phew got to the stage where he could crawl, he hates being confined at restaurants. But... I dunno. Your birthday is supposed to be about you. I know that it's ego centric, but I myself like to know there's one day of the year that's all about me, presents or no presents. But today was her day. And it turned out to be all about the baby.
But again: maybe she doesn't care so much. And I know I tried to talk to her, but I don't know if that really helped. Her and I just don't have that much to talk about anymore, for some reason. I weirdly have tons more in common with her husband (who I'm ambivalent about. Sometimes he's really fun to be around, and I feel like he's a moral ally with me against my mom, whose behavior everyone else is always making excuses for. But sometimes he is just plain mean, and I don't know if he hates all of his in-laws (including me) to say the things he says, or if it's just teasing and he doesn't know when to quit).
My parents, though.... it's like they're the people who you were friends with in high school just because you had a car. Only like, 1,000 times worse, because it's your own parents doing it! I guess that's kind of a harsh judgement, because they did visit my sister quite a bit (more than me when I didn't live with them, actually). But now... it's just creepy. Like they ignore everything else when the baby's around.
I dunno. Maybe my sister doesn't mind at all, and is just grateful for all the help. I am probably projecting. I honestly can't remember how my last birthday went, but my graduation fucking sucked. Not just because the baby. It was because no one cared. My grandpa didn't care enough to come. My sister left halfway through, my mom made me dress how she wanted, the university didn't bother getting a good speaker since it was only the winter graduation.... but yeah, it did kind of blow when we had dinnner afterwards and it was all about the baby....
Anyway, I guess that's why I can't get myself hyped about holidays or birthdays anymore. No one around my house cares. They just go out and buy whatever you tell them to, and then we have dinner. And now the dinner is pretty much turned to, "Oh look! The baby's eating peas! He sure likes those peas! Uh oh, he dropped a pea! Here, you can have some of my peas if the baby's done with yours!"
And I kind of feel sorry for the baby. Because when you're little, people care THAT much about you. And then it all kind of fades away the older you get, until you feel invisible, like me.
All I can do is hope, I guess. I hope he's better at life than I am. I hope he does find people who care, and the people who care now still care when he's not "cute" anymore instead of just dumping him like some broken toy.
I felt kind of sorry for her. The whole time, my parents are all fixated on the baby and what he's doing. I guess I shouldn't feel sorry for her. If she really wanted to, I suppose she could've just gotten a sitter for tonight. Heaven knows it would be easier. Since the 'phew got to the stage where he could crawl, he hates being confined at restaurants. But... I dunno. Your birthday is supposed to be about you. I know that it's ego centric, but I myself like to know there's one day of the year that's all about me, presents or no presents. But today was her day. And it turned out to be all about the baby.
But again: maybe she doesn't care so much. And I know I tried to talk to her, but I don't know if that really helped. Her and I just don't have that much to talk about anymore, for some reason. I weirdly have tons more in common with her husband (who I'm ambivalent about. Sometimes he's really fun to be around, and I feel like he's a moral ally with me against my mom, whose behavior everyone else is always making excuses for. But sometimes he is just plain mean, and I don't know if he hates all of his in-laws (including me) to say the things he says, or if it's just teasing and he doesn't know when to quit).
My parents, though.... it's like they're the people who you were friends with in high school just because you had a car. Only like, 1,000 times worse, because it's your own parents doing it! I guess that's kind of a harsh judgement, because they did visit my sister quite a bit (more than me when I didn't live with them, actually). But now... it's just creepy. Like they ignore everything else when the baby's around.
I dunno. Maybe my sister doesn't mind at all, and is just grateful for all the help. I am probably projecting. I honestly can't remember how my last birthday went, but my graduation fucking sucked. Not just because the baby. It was because no one cared. My grandpa didn't care enough to come. My sister left halfway through, my mom made me dress how she wanted, the university didn't bother getting a good speaker since it was only the winter graduation.... but yeah, it did kind of blow when we had dinnner afterwards and it was all about the baby....
Anyway, I guess that's why I can't get myself hyped about holidays or birthdays anymore. No one around my house cares. They just go out and buy whatever you tell them to, and then we have dinner. And now the dinner is pretty much turned to, "Oh look! The baby's eating peas! He sure likes those peas! Uh oh, he dropped a pea! Here, you can have some of my peas if the baby's done with yours!"
And I kind of feel sorry for the baby. Because when you're little, people care THAT much about you. And then it all kind of fades away the older you get, until you feel invisible, like me.
All I can do is hope, I guess. I hope he's better at life than I am. I hope he does find people who care, and the people who care now still care when he's not "cute" anymore instead of just dumping him like some broken toy.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
Today was pretty good, though I pretty much feel like crap on a stick now. Colitis just sucks... and every time I get used to one type of suckage, Colitis is all, "Well, I think I'm going to suck THIS way instead, now." Which basically means it's been hurting a lot lately, instead of just making me feel sick and disgusting.
For some reason, when it's like this, I'll be on the toilet thinking of that scene from the book Catch 22 where Yossarian is arguing with this other athiest about what sort of god they don't believe in. I.E. neither of them believe in god, but the woman he's talking to gets pissy when he says he doesn't believe in god because god would be a real fuck-up if there was one, and she thinks if there was a god he'd be kind and gentle. They get to this one point where Yossarian is just listing everything horrible in the world, and then includes pain. And she's like, "Pain is good! It warns us if there's something wrong with our bodies!" and he's all, "Isn't there a better way? Couldn't there be light-up indicators? I mean, a jukebox maker could do that! Why not god?" and she's like, "Well that'd just look silly." And he's all, "Well, yeah, we look SO dignified now, when we're writhing in pain." Anyway, dunno why I shared that, but I did.
My dad and I saw Four Brothers today. I think it shows that it's getting towards fall that there haven't been any big blockbuster action movies for a couple weeks. So dad asked me if I wanted to see this. He wasn't so sure about it because apparently it hasn't gotten as much press as some of the movies we've seen lately. My dad has lately started taking things like this into account more the last year or so, whether a film gets press or good reviews or whatever, and I honestly think it's the dumbest way possible to decide whether or not to see a movie, unless your taste is really in tune with critics. And seeing as how my dad likes primarily big dumb action movies--he's not exactly in tune with critics. Anyhoo, I was equally worried about it, though in my case it was because I'm not much for crime drama. But I really wanted to get out of the house. So bad.
Anyway: it was actually really, really, good. It's not so much a mystery as exploring the relationships of these four men with each other and the dead mother. And plus, there was some decent action. So it was funny, and touching, and had good action, which I find rare. And it (mostly) seemed like, "real," comedy, like things people would really say rather than all slick one-liners. So I would reccomend it to most people.
Also, I wanted to mention this dream I actually had awhile ago that just makes me laugh: I can't really remember the "storyline" so much, but I remember that Charlie Sheen lived in my neighborhood. And it was like... no big deal. Just, "Oh, yeah, that's Charlie Sheen. He lives down the street." Good times.
For some reason, when it's like this, I'll be on the toilet thinking of that scene from the book Catch 22 where Yossarian is arguing with this other athiest about what sort of god they don't believe in. I.E. neither of them believe in god, but the woman he's talking to gets pissy when he says he doesn't believe in god because god would be a real fuck-up if there was one, and she thinks if there was a god he'd be kind and gentle. They get to this one point where Yossarian is just listing everything horrible in the world, and then includes pain. And she's like, "Pain is good! It warns us if there's something wrong with our bodies!" and he's all, "Isn't there a better way? Couldn't there be light-up indicators? I mean, a jukebox maker could do that! Why not god?" and she's like, "Well that'd just look silly." And he's all, "Well, yeah, we look SO dignified now, when we're writhing in pain." Anyway, dunno why I shared that, but I did.
My dad and I saw Four Brothers today. I think it shows that it's getting towards fall that there haven't been any big blockbuster action movies for a couple weeks. So dad asked me if I wanted to see this. He wasn't so sure about it because apparently it hasn't gotten as much press as some of the movies we've seen lately. My dad has lately started taking things like this into account more the last year or so, whether a film gets press or good reviews or whatever, and I honestly think it's the dumbest way possible to decide whether or not to see a movie, unless your taste is really in tune with critics. And seeing as how my dad likes primarily big dumb action movies--he's not exactly in tune with critics. Anyhoo, I was equally worried about it, though in my case it was because I'm not much for crime drama. But I really wanted to get out of the house. So bad.
Anyway: it was actually really, really, good. It's not so much a mystery as exploring the relationships of these four men with each other and the dead mother. And plus, there was some decent action. So it was funny, and touching, and had good action, which I find rare. And it (mostly) seemed like, "real," comedy, like things people would really say rather than all slick one-liners. So I would reccomend it to most people.
Also, I wanted to mention this dream I actually had awhile ago that just makes me laugh: I can't really remember the "storyline" so much, but I remember that Charlie Sheen lived in my neighborhood. And it was like... no big deal. Just, "Oh, yeah, that's Charlie Sheen. He lives down the street." Good times.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Phoemeister: I feel bad, though. I've forgotten SO much french
Phoemeister: so sometimes if I think of a phrase in french
Phoemeister: I can't tell if it's a real phrase or if I just made it up
Dragon: indeed
Phoemeister: but I do know that fromage is cheese
Phoemeister: and that soutenir is pimp
Phoemeister: all other bets are off
Dragon: Soutenir du fromage
Dragon: pimp with cheese
Phoemeister: cheese pimp
Phoemeister: niiiice
Phoemeister: I wish I were a cheese pimp
Phoemeister: that is my dream job now
Phoemeister: "Cheddar! You better have my money, bitch!"
Dragon: She finally snapped
Phoemeister: I'll show her snapped!
Phoemeister: I will pimp slap that block of cheese into next sunday if I don't get my money
Dragon: The actual image of people having sex with cheese is pretty fucked up
Phoemeister: hey
Phoemeister: I wasn't the one who brought up cheese pimping
Dragonnas Xavier: true enough
Phoemeister: so sometimes if I think of a phrase in french
Phoemeister: I can't tell if it's a real phrase or if I just made it up
Dragon: indeed
Phoemeister: but I do know that fromage is cheese
Phoemeister: and that soutenir is pimp
Phoemeister: all other bets are off
Dragon: Soutenir du fromage
Dragon: pimp with cheese
Phoemeister: cheese pimp
Phoemeister: niiiice
Phoemeister: I wish I were a cheese pimp
Phoemeister: that is my dream job now
Phoemeister: "Cheddar! You better have my money, bitch!"
Dragon: She finally snapped
Phoemeister: I'll show her snapped!
Phoemeister: I will pimp slap that block of cheese into next sunday if I don't get my money
Dragon: The actual image of people having sex with cheese is pretty fucked up
Phoemeister: hey
Phoemeister: I wasn't the one who brought up cheese pimping
Dragonnas Xavier: true enough
Monday, August 08, 2005
So, today I did nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I think that's half the reason I complain about being old all the time. Because 23 isn't that old. But it feels like I've wasted so much time doing nothing, like I have had not even as many experiences as a 15 year old. That and having as many health problems as a senior.
And yeah, I know I'm whiney. That I should just get up and do something. But you know what? A lot easier said than done when you have very few friends and suck at making new ones and suck at getting jobs even though you've applied to like a thousand.
I think that's half the reason I complain about being old all the time. Because 23 isn't that old. But it feels like I've wasted so much time doing nothing, like I have had not even as many experiences as a 15 year old. That and having as many health problems as a senior.
And yeah, I know I'm whiney. That I should just get up and do something. But you know what? A lot easier said than done when you have very few friends and suck at making new ones and suck at getting jobs even though you've applied to like a thousand.
Kin: What're you up to? Besides job interviews? (I just caught up on my reading of your life.)
Phoemeister: aw :-)
Well right now I'm listening to music on a tape player that's batteries are going so it's really slow and low and weird. And I saw Must Love Dogs with a friend earlier tonight. And we talked about how we avoid places that have people we know working there, even if we have nothing in particular against the people. And this one guy I know named Jose. And this one guy she knows named Dan. And this one guy who was a total drug addict that I know who works at Sams Club.
Phoemeister: So it was Good Times(TM)
It really was. Other topics included:
1) The fact that one day I'd like to rent a really expensive car and just drive around all day. And we were talking about it, and somehow the fantasy grew to include wearing a large bridesmaid's dress at the same time, and doing this in Chicago. But then I had to be like... wait a minute... if I do this in Chicago, I'm definately going to accidently end up in the ghetto in my expensive-ass car and bridesmaid's dress. This can't end well.
2) That a slim-slam is a low fat version of a grand-slam (this is at Denny's). Which, I wonder how fatty the grand-slam is, because the slim-slam included a large hamsteak. Honestly, I don't really know what a hamsteak is. Actually, it was probably just a really big piece of canadian bacon. But I always like to call things like that hamsteaks because of the scene in pleasantville where the mom just piles a big 50's style breakfast onto a plate, and you're like, "Well, that's kind of excessive, but it kind of looks good," and then she plops this huge hunk of meat down on top of it and is like, "And of course, a ham steak."
3) That we both like pretty boys.
Good times.
Phoemeister: aw :-)
Well right now I'm listening to music on a tape player that's batteries are going so it's really slow and low and weird. And I saw Must Love Dogs with a friend earlier tonight. And we talked about how we avoid places that have people we know working there, even if we have nothing in particular against the people. And this one guy I know named Jose. And this one guy she knows named Dan. And this one guy who was a total drug addict that I know who works at Sams Club.
Phoemeister: So it was Good Times(TM)
It really was. Other topics included:
1) The fact that one day I'd like to rent a really expensive car and just drive around all day. And we were talking about it, and somehow the fantasy grew to include wearing a large bridesmaid's dress at the same time, and doing this in Chicago. But then I had to be like... wait a minute... if I do this in Chicago, I'm definately going to accidently end up in the ghetto in my expensive-ass car and bridesmaid's dress. This can't end well.
2) That a slim-slam is a low fat version of a grand-slam (this is at Denny's). Which, I wonder how fatty the grand-slam is, because the slim-slam included a large hamsteak. Honestly, I don't really know what a hamsteak is. Actually, it was probably just a really big piece of canadian bacon. But I always like to call things like that hamsteaks because of the scene in pleasantville where the mom just piles a big 50's style breakfast onto a plate, and you're like, "Well, that's kind of excessive, but it kind of looks good," and then she plops this huge hunk of meat down on top of it and is like, "And of course, a ham steak."
3) That we both like pretty boys.
Good times.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Saturday, August 06, 2005
So, I applied to be a bank teller, a chiropractic assistant, and an opthmalic assistant today. I really hope I get one of the first two, because I can neither spell nor pronounce opthmalic. But I bet I would kick ass at it anyway! "look at the red dot." "what number do you see?" "does your family have a history of glaucoma?" I could do that. All that stuff is more important to know than how to pronounce your job title.
And actually, I shouldn't have applied to be a bank teller. I can't add. But still, I lied in my cover letter and said I had strong math skills. But actually, it's true. I do have great math skills. I rock so hard at geometry and algebra. I just can't add... But I totally get a calculator or something if I become a bank teller, right?
Lies are one of many tools I've started to use lately, since no one's been hiring me. Lying is much easier on paper than in person. And I can take enough time while writing to justify them to myself thinking about how much I used to rock ass at geometry that when someone asks me later I don't feel bad about it, and thus can convincingly back it up. Well, a little more convincingly. I sound shifty even when I'm telling the truth, because I'm so nervous.
I've also started to address my background in photography. I'm thinking maybe they think I won't be good at whatever their job is because photography's nothing like it. But they're totally wrong. Every ad seems to have "people skills" and "detail-oriented" as a requirement. Hell, nearly every job is like that. And so is photography. I met tons of new people every day. And there are a ton of little details to keep track of. So I wrote that into my cover letters too, and realized as I went along that I really wasn't lying about it, photography really IS a lot more similar to a customer service job than you would think.
Anyway, it sucks. My self esteem, never high, has just plummeted. It's a sea of rejection. That stupid hotel never called me back. And a ton of other places I've applied to have never even called me once. I'd really like to know what I'm doing wrong. People get jobs every day! Why the hell is it so difficult for me?
And actually, I shouldn't have applied to be a bank teller. I can't add. But still, I lied in my cover letter and said I had strong math skills. But actually, it's true. I do have great math skills. I rock so hard at geometry and algebra. I just can't add... But I totally get a calculator or something if I become a bank teller, right?
Lies are one of many tools I've started to use lately, since no one's been hiring me. Lying is much easier on paper than in person. And I can take enough time while writing to justify them to myself thinking about how much I used to rock ass at geometry that when someone asks me later I don't feel bad about it, and thus can convincingly back it up. Well, a little more convincingly. I sound shifty even when I'm telling the truth, because I'm so nervous.
I've also started to address my background in photography. I'm thinking maybe they think I won't be good at whatever their job is because photography's nothing like it. But they're totally wrong. Every ad seems to have "people skills" and "detail-oriented" as a requirement. Hell, nearly every job is like that. And so is photography. I met tons of new people every day. And there are a ton of little details to keep track of. So I wrote that into my cover letters too, and realized as I went along that I really wasn't lying about it, photography really IS a lot more similar to a customer service job than you would think.
Anyway, it sucks. My self esteem, never high, has just plummeted. It's a sea of rejection. That stupid hotel never called me back. And a ton of other places I've applied to have never even called me once. I'd really like to know what I'm doing wrong. People get jobs every day! Why the hell is it so difficult for me?
Friday, August 05, 2005
because I'm a bored unemployed loser:
10 years ago - I was 13. Eeee. 7th grade, not a good time for me. Or else it was 8th grade by then. 8th grade was marginally better because while I was still universally hated by my peers, I had started getting into music by then. I really liked Santa Monica by Everclear.
5 years ago - 18. Eee. Also not a good time for me. Senior year of high school. This is when my colitis started kicking in, though I didn't know what it was, yet. I had gained friends sophmore year, but we were already kind of growing apart by senior year, and I had to hear every day about this college half of them were going to go to that I had not made it into because my grades weren't quite as well.
1 year ago - Man. I swear my life doesn't suck as much as this thing's reflecting, it just seems to end up on particularly hard times in my life. One year ago was when I had the gallbladder out. That was the worst single experience of my life. So maybe I'm lucky. But really, thanks to all the different complications: I was about at the end of my rope. BUT, I did gain a nephew. There's the positive. I'm totally going to be pals with him someday, I hope.
Yesterday - I applied for a dead end job at a hotel front office that I really don't want, but on the other hand, really do want so I don't sit around doing nothing all day. And so that I can stop applying for jobs for awhile. I really hate it.
Tomorrow - Best case scenario: I get an interview at the hotel. Worst case scenario: they never call and I watch another DVD director's commentary.
5 snacks I enjoy - goldfish crackers, M & M's, brownies, cheese, licorice
5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs - Ben Folds, Lifehouse, Breaking Benjamin, Idlewild, The Refreshments
5 things I would do with a $100,000,000 -
1) hire a team of top physicians to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, from the big things to the little things, and fix all of it
2) buy the 'phew a monkey (hasn't he always wanted a monkey?)
3) three words: high-price gigalo. Or does that only count as two words, because of the hyphen?
4) rims
5) bling-bling
5 locations I would like to run away to - Vegas, San Diego, South Carolina, Chicago, London, Dublin
5 bad habits I have - worrying, procrastinating, unrealistic fears, biting my nails, not looking people I've just met in the eye
5 things I like doing - sleeping, eating, listening to music, talking on the computer, talking in real life
5 things I would never wear - those pants with a word written on the butt, thong, bikini, biker shorts, pants with the ass cut out
5 t.v. shows I like(d) - Scrubs, House, Ed, Joan of Arcadia, Tru Calling. The last three are canceled now :(
5 movies I like - Pleasantville, Ocean's 11, Garden State, About a Boy, Bridget Jones' Diary
5 famous people I would like to meet - Ben Folds, Dave Grohl, Steven Soderbergh, Christopher Walken, Tom Hanks. (er, the last three were kind of off the top of my head)
5 biggest joys at the moment - Um... I think "things I like" takes care of that
5 favorite toys - discman, laptop, and um... do boatloads of CD's and books count?
10 years ago - I was 13. Eeee. 7th grade, not a good time for me. Or else it was 8th grade by then. 8th grade was marginally better because while I was still universally hated by my peers, I had started getting into music by then. I really liked Santa Monica by Everclear.
5 years ago - 18. Eee. Also not a good time for me. Senior year of high school. This is when my colitis started kicking in, though I didn't know what it was, yet. I had gained friends sophmore year, but we were already kind of growing apart by senior year, and I had to hear every day about this college half of them were going to go to that I had not made it into because my grades weren't quite as well.
1 year ago - Man. I swear my life doesn't suck as much as this thing's reflecting, it just seems to end up on particularly hard times in my life. One year ago was when I had the gallbladder out. That was the worst single experience of my life. So maybe I'm lucky. But really, thanks to all the different complications: I was about at the end of my rope. BUT, I did gain a nephew. There's the positive. I'm totally going to be pals with him someday, I hope.
Yesterday - I applied for a dead end job at a hotel front office that I really don't want, but on the other hand, really do want so I don't sit around doing nothing all day. And so that I can stop applying for jobs for awhile. I really hate it.
Tomorrow - Best case scenario: I get an interview at the hotel. Worst case scenario: they never call and I watch another DVD director's commentary.
5 snacks I enjoy - goldfish crackers, M & M's, brownies, cheese, licorice
5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs - Ben Folds, Lifehouse, Breaking Benjamin, Idlewild, The Refreshments
5 things I would do with a $100,000,000 -
1) hire a team of top physicians to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, from the big things to the little things, and fix all of it
2) buy the 'phew a monkey (hasn't he always wanted a monkey?)
3) three words: high-price gigalo. Or does that only count as two words, because of the hyphen?
4) rims
5) bling-bling
5 locations I would like to run away to - Vegas, San Diego, South Carolina, Chicago, London, Dublin
5 bad habits I have - worrying, procrastinating, unrealistic fears, biting my nails, not looking people I've just met in the eye
5 things I like doing - sleeping, eating, listening to music, talking on the computer, talking in real life
5 things I would never wear - those pants with a word written on the butt, thong, bikini, biker shorts, pants with the ass cut out
5 t.v. shows I like(d) - Scrubs, House, Ed, Joan of Arcadia, Tru Calling. The last three are canceled now :(
5 movies I like - Pleasantville, Ocean's 11, Garden State, About a Boy, Bridget Jones' Diary
5 famous people I would like to meet - Ben Folds, Dave Grohl, Steven Soderbergh, Christopher Walken, Tom Hanks. (er, the last three were kind of off the top of my head)
5 biggest joys at the moment - Um... I think "things I like" takes care of that
5 favorite toys - discman, laptop, and um... do boatloads of CD's and books count?
Oh, also, I'm pissed off lately because I'm such a freak. If it's not colitis, it's headaches that may or may not be migraines every day (which... this has been going on for months but I really don't know what to do about it). If it's not that, then it's allergies that may or may not be allergies.
My most recent problem? Well this involves the allergies. I definately have allergies.... in the fall. But I've been having troubles all summer, which isn't usually a problem of mine. And I'm thinking some of it might just be my room's too dry at night. Because my eyes every morning feel dry, my throat, my lips are chapped, etc. I kind of had that problem in the winter, but knew it was that because in winter things get dry. But in the summer?
Anyway, my lips went from moderately chapped to disgustingly chapped. I'm stuck using chapstick every five minutes. And that doesn't even help, because I can't exactly do that overnight, which is when it's the worst. They're always sore and sloughing off disgusting amounts of dead skin.
But then it got worse! Not only are my lips dry, but the skin around them has gotten very itchy. I thought maybe it was the chapstick, but I don't think it is, I've tried several kinds and they all itch, and they never itched before. I'm going insane with the itching.
On top of that: I have these sores at both corners of my mouth that just will NOT close. They're not cold sores, I don't get those. My best guess is it's because my lips are so dry or something. But they won't close. I've had them for like a month now. They scab over, but every time I yawn or eat or talk or do anything that involves opening my mouth, the scabs crack. And they get worse overnight when I'm not doing anything with my mouth, again, I can only assume this is because of the dryness! My mom made me try cold sore stuff on them even though I told her about a thousand times I don't have cold sores, and that doesn't seem to help much.
I assumed the sore throat I've been having and the chapped lips were maybe because of allergies. And I could sort of rationalize the dry eyes into that too. But allergy medicine didn't really help any of it, and made the ol' colitis worse, so I'm thinking it's just dryness in the room where I sleep. But I don't know what to do about it, because I can't afford a humidifier on my own, and my mom doesn't believe me that it's dryness, and would probably be a jerk about me getting one even if I could afford it, on account of she terribly hates humidity, and we have a dehumidifier and everything going on down stairs, not to mention the air conditioning we're using anyway, and me having a humidifier would not only be me clashing opinions with her, which would piss her off, but also making the above appliances work harder and/or making her uncomfortable with extra humidity, no matter how I would explain to her it'd be a humidifier for just one room.
But I'm going insane. I've made peace with the fact that I am ALWAYS going to feel like shit because of my colitis, my ENTIRE life. I'm halfway there on the headache issue. But fuck! Is non-painful and non-disgusting lips that much to ask in return?
My most recent problem? Well this involves the allergies. I definately have allergies.... in the fall. But I've been having troubles all summer, which isn't usually a problem of mine. And I'm thinking some of it might just be my room's too dry at night. Because my eyes every morning feel dry, my throat, my lips are chapped, etc. I kind of had that problem in the winter, but knew it was that because in winter things get dry. But in the summer?
Anyway, my lips went from moderately chapped to disgustingly chapped. I'm stuck using chapstick every five minutes. And that doesn't even help, because I can't exactly do that overnight, which is when it's the worst. They're always sore and sloughing off disgusting amounts of dead skin.
But then it got worse! Not only are my lips dry, but the skin around them has gotten very itchy. I thought maybe it was the chapstick, but I don't think it is, I've tried several kinds and they all itch, and they never itched before. I'm going insane with the itching.
On top of that: I have these sores at both corners of my mouth that just will NOT close. They're not cold sores, I don't get those. My best guess is it's because my lips are so dry or something. But they won't close. I've had them for like a month now. They scab over, but every time I yawn or eat or talk or do anything that involves opening my mouth, the scabs crack. And they get worse overnight when I'm not doing anything with my mouth, again, I can only assume this is because of the dryness! My mom made me try cold sore stuff on them even though I told her about a thousand times I don't have cold sores, and that doesn't seem to help much.
I assumed the sore throat I've been having and the chapped lips were maybe because of allergies. And I could sort of rationalize the dry eyes into that too. But allergy medicine didn't really help any of it, and made the ol' colitis worse, so I'm thinking it's just dryness in the room where I sleep. But I don't know what to do about it, because I can't afford a humidifier on my own, and my mom doesn't believe me that it's dryness, and would probably be a jerk about me getting one even if I could afford it, on account of she terribly hates humidity, and we have a dehumidifier and everything going on down stairs, not to mention the air conditioning we're using anyway, and me having a humidifier would not only be me clashing opinions with her, which would piss her off, but also making the above appliances work harder and/or making her uncomfortable with extra humidity, no matter how I would explain to her it'd be a humidifier for just one room.
But I'm going insane. I've made peace with the fact that I am ALWAYS going to feel like shit because of my colitis, my ENTIRE life. I'm halfway there on the headache issue. But fuck! Is non-painful and non-disgusting lips that much to ask in return?
Do you know what I hate about job interviews?
Well, everything, actually.
But what I mean to complain about in particular is just how the questions completely blindside me and I have no reasonable answer. Glib is just something I'm not. As bad as I am at lying, lying and thinking on my feet at the same time = disaster. And telling the truth is equally fatal.
I didn't have a real job interview today, the manager of the place I applied at yesterday called me for a preliminary Q & A, prior to an interview, so we'll see how far I get. But she asked me:
The hours I want: full time. Only good and easy answer.
What I want to get paid: damn. I hate it when they ask that. Why can't they just have a standard pay? Basically I said I'd like above minimum wage, but that I'm not particularly picky. But I didn't expect the question, so I sounded pretty squirrely about it, no doubt.
If I'm still going to ISU: and I said I graduated. So then she asked me what I want to do.
WHOA.
What I'd said if I could've been completly truthful: hey, lady, I've spent the better part of my 23 years on this planet thinking about that question, and I still got nothin' And worse, right now I have even less of an idea than usual. I just want a job, so that while I'm pondering that question I'm not sitting alone on my parent's couch all day watching Judge Joe Brown anymore, and I can make money, and maybe move out of the house. That's what I want. And no one else will hire me. So I've lowered my standards far enough so far to apply to YOUR stupid dead-end job.
What I really said: Umm... what am I going to do? You mean, with my life?
Interviewer: Yes...
Me: Umm... well, um, I kind of don't know right now. I mean, I wanted to be a tv photographer, but I hated driving. So right now I really don't know what I want to do.
So... still truthful enough to make me look stupid, but with enough "ums" and "ahs" and "errs" to make it sound like I was trying to spin it, and wasn't even good at that.
Why do they ask me things like this? And why is this like, the first job I've applied to I've even gotten to the stage where someone asks me torturous questions?
I suck at trying to be a productive member of society. This is really, really, pathetic.
Well, everything, actually.
But what I mean to complain about in particular is just how the questions completely blindside me and I have no reasonable answer. Glib is just something I'm not. As bad as I am at lying, lying and thinking on my feet at the same time = disaster. And telling the truth is equally fatal.
I didn't have a real job interview today, the manager of the place I applied at yesterday called me for a preliminary Q & A, prior to an interview, so we'll see how far I get. But she asked me:
The hours I want: full time. Only good and easy answer.
What I want to get paid: damn. I hate it when they ask that. Why can't they just have a standard pay? Basically I said I'd like above minimum wage, but that I'm not particularly picky. But I didn't expect the question, so I sounded pretty squirrely about it, no doubt.
If I'm still going to ISU: and I said I graduated. So then she asked me what I want to do.
WHOA.
What I'd said if I could've been completly truthful: hey, lady, I've spent the better part of my 23 years on this planet thinking about that question, and I still got nothin' And worse, right now I have even less of an idea than usual. I just want a job, so that while I'm pondering that question I'm not sitting alone on my parent's couch all day watching Judge Joe Brown anymore, and I can make money, and maybe move out of the house. That's what I want. And no one else will hire me. So I've lowered my standards far enough so far to apply to YOUR stupid dead-end job.
What I really said: Umm... what am I going to do? You mean, with my life?
Interviewer: Yes...
Me: Umm... well, um, I kind of don't know right now. I mean, I wanted to be a tv photographer, but I hated driving. So right now I really don't know what I want to do.
So... still truthful enough to make me look stupid, but with enough "ums" and "ahs" and "errs" to make it sound like I was trying to spin it, and wasn't even good at that.
Why do they ask me things like this? And why is this like, the first job I've applied to I've even gotten to the stage where someone asks me torturous questions?
I suck at trying to be a productive member of society. This is really, really, pathetic.
Don't you just love it when you spend half your day applying for a job you don't really want that badly that you probably won't get anyway?
Yeah, me too. I feel like I'm living inside the Greenday song Longview, except for the addiction to masturbation bit. That's probably the only way I could be more pathetic.
Which, ironically (or whatever the proper word is), I actually did hear Longview on the way home. If there is a God he must have a sense of humor.
Yeah, me too. I feel like I'm living inside the Greenday song Longview, except for the addiction to masturbation bit. That's probably the only way I could be more pathetic.
Which, ironically (or whatever the proper word is), I actually did hear Longview on the way home. If there is a God he must have a sense of humor.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
So, I went to a doll maker site and made a me. Because I'm unemployed. And have that kind of time.
I'm actually not that happy with it. I think I have a wide-ish mouth, but most of the mouths are tiny or so huge they don't fit on the little faces, which I don't see what the point is, then. And all the eyes are huge, while I consider mine normal size. And I couldn't even really find my color, so I picked closed. And they're set very wide apart for some reason, though again, I think mine are probably normal distance.
I have a big nose, but again, any decent sized nose ran into the mouth, so I ended up with that bridge-less one even wider than my own. The hair is pretty much like mine, only nicer.
Clotheswise, the hoodie is pretty par for the course. The pants were the only actually baggy pants for an option, I'm not really happy with them. I usually wear jeans or cords or khakis, not so much cargo pants. And what's with the idiotic elastic around the ankles? Anyway, all the tight pants and tops made it look anorexic, so baggy looks the best anyway, even aside from what I wear most days.
The shoes: EXACTLY correct. I totally have a pair of shoes like that. Only they'd usually be half covered by my pants, as would my socks, because I don't wear bizarre pants with elastic at the ankles!
Feel free to stalk me now. Though, like I said, I don't know how easy it would be based soley on this thing.
Also accomplished today: yet another mix tape. I don't know why I make mix tapes all the time. I'm not even happy with them after I'm done, usually. I just get this urge to classify by grouping. I call it mix tape OCD. I also have "peel labels off of everything" OCD. But I suppose there's worse problems I could have.
I'm actually not that happy with it. I think I have a wide-ish mouth, but most of the mouths are tiny or so huge they don't fit on the little faces, which I don't see what the point is, then. And all the eyes are huge, while I consider mine normal size. And I couldn't even really find my color, so I picked closed. And they're set very wide apart for some reason, though again, I think mine are probably normal distance.
I have a big nose, but again, any decent sized nose ran into the mouth, so I ended up with that bridge-less one even wider than my own. The hair is pretty much like mine, only nicer.
Clotheswise, the hoodie is pretty par for the course. The pants were the only actually baggy pants for an option, I'm not really happy with them. I usually wear jeans or cords or khakis, not so much cargo pants. And what's with the idiotic elastic around the ankles? Anyway, all the tight pants and tops made it look anorexic, so baggy looks the best anyway, even aside from what I wear most days.
The shoes: EXACTLY correct. I totally have a pair of shoes like that. Only they'd usually be half covered by my pants, as would my socks, because I don't wear bizarre pants with elastic at the ankles!
Feel free to stalk me now. Though, like I said, I don't know how easy it would be based soley on this thing.
Also accomplished today: yet another mix tape. I don't know why I make mix tapes all the time. I'm not even happy with them after I'm done, usually. I just get this urge to classify by grouping. I call it mix tape OCD. I also have "peel labels off of everything" OCD. But I suppose there's worse problems I could have.
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