Weird.... I'm mainly using this site for my archives (since May 2003 I've been posting at Hastily Paraphrased), and I changed a minor thing in my template, and now the top post showing is one I made way before I made the last post here, so I can't figure out why it's showing in the wrong place.

Apologies,

Phoe

Welp, I don't think I'm going to do D & D tomorrow, or ever again, really. I have a HUGE program due on Friday, and I'm not very far along, thanks to the H & S paper I had to write at the beginning of the week which I would've written it over the weekend, but I had radio scripts to write then. I'm so busy this week, I forgot I had a radio midterm yesterday, and did pretty damn poorly on it. I just don't have 8 hours this wednesday to do this.

And I got to thinking, I probably won't be able to go next week on spring break either, because I don't want my parents knowing why I'm going out. My mom would freak if she knew I met people from the internet. And no, I couldn't lie about it. 1) I suck at lying and 2) there's no good lie to tell. I never go anywhere, especially 8 hours at a time. Also, I have C++ tests random wednesdays during the semester, that'll cause me to miss.

And then I was thinking, dammit, I'm always going to be this busy for the rest of the semester. I'm always going to have half a C++ program due on friday. I'm always going to have a radio project every week. I'm always going to have a media writing project every week. I'm going to have assembly language programs in H & S due soon. I have a TV PSA I have to shoot soon. There's no way I'm going to regularly have time to do this 8 hours a week. So I'm going to leave a comment on the guy's site to the effect of, "really, I'm not blowing you off. I just didn't realize how little time I really have until now."

Have you ever noticed that when I have a lot to do, I blog in short, frequent bursts bitching about how much I have to do, thus making the time I have to do these things shrink? Yeah, me too.

But I can't stop. It's like, my escape, I guess.


Anyway, I just noticed that my WinAmp playlist right now is all british bands (Idlewild, The Coral, Aqualung) except for this one oldie glorifying the confederacy (The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down/Joan Baez) I like the song, not the message. And it's weird, its not straight up for the confederates, but still it mentions how the guy's brother was killed by a yankee. So, yeah. And this other song (Over My Head/Semisonic) from a soundtrack to some crappy-ass Freddie Prinze Jr. movie. Well, I've never seen the movie. But it has to be crappy if it's got FPJ. It's like a rule that he can only make crappy movies.

Anyway, i wonder if all of this says anything about me.

All the playlist is missing is some booty bass, bay-bee

Welp, I've finally put up my first post at the new blog. It pretty much explains what I'm trying to do there.

Not sure if I'm going to keep Angry White Girl or go with something new. Technically right now it's called Phoemeister which I know I'm definately changing. Yep.

Change your bookmarks, people. I'm going to rock your world moveable type style now, oh yeah!

I think I've become a compulsive eater. I mean, technically the steroids I'm on might be increasing my hunger because that's one of their generally recognized side effects, but I don't think that's the real problem. First off, I started gaining a lot of weight before I started on the steroids. Second off, it seems like I'm only happy lately when I'm eating. Even right after I eat, when I'm full, I wish I wasn't full, so I could eat more. So I'm thinking I'm a compulsive eater. That, coupled with the fact that I am the most sedentary/lazy person on earth: not good.

*big sigh*

Here is one thing besides food that has cheered me up lately: an e-mail from one of my highschool friends. I miss her more right after we've talked than I do the months and months we go without seeing each other.

If only...

we could be as cool as Willie Nelson at 70. Really. Did you see the cover of TV guide this week? That phrase was on it, along with a slammin' picture of the guy. Man, if only I could live up to that.

But really, who thinks about Willie Nelson at 2:00 am in the morning? Apparentely only me. I had to ask my roommate, who is still up, how to spell his name. So, at least one other person is thinking about this.

Yeah.

I hope you have been well. With school and all that. I have found myself pretty sleepless at night. I saw 4 am on the digital the other morning, and I wasn't studying. Thoughts on that? I talked to "other high school friend" on the phone tonight. She makes me feel like Peter Pan. I don't think I'm ready to grow up just yet. I still want to think that I can be Willie Nelson at 70.

You like how that just all flowed together? Nice, huh?

She's the best. I sent her back this long whiney e-mail about how long winded and whiney I am.

I've been a lazy blogger lately. Usually I post every bit of anything that happens to me or pops into my head, but I've been lax. Though the sparseness probably improves quality. So I'll just summarize the (few) things that happened since last bloggie:

1) Saw the Matrix. It's an alright movie and everything I guess, but I just couldn't get into it. I figure part of it was my unrealisticly high expectations for the thing, plus seeing every single action sequence beforehand thanks to stupid TV, but it just didn't hit me like the first one did. I honestly had a better time watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on TV that night. Because who doesn't love watching Harrison Ford and Sean Connery thwart Nazis? Yes, TV has its redeeming qualities.

2) Sister's dog hurt its back somehow, and now everyone's all freaked out about it. I really do feel sorry for the dog. But man do they get fussy about it. My sis's all worried about having people over because the dog can't get up, but the dog likes to follow people around when they're over and stuff. It's like, "Dude, I know the dog doesn't like not being able to get up, but I think he can handle it." And I have to admit I'm psychotically fixated on how much they love the dog. Like, every time they're like, "Oh, oh the poor dog had diahrea again last night!" I want to be like, "Oh, oh! Poor me! I've had diahrea every day since October 2002. That's not counting the frequent bouts I had even before then going back as far as 2000, or any of my vomitting and anal bleeding!"

3) I guess I don't have a 3. It was wishful thinking to believe that in 5 days I did something besides watch a movie and obsess about my sister's dog.

Oh, and I'm feeling better about all the whining I've been doing about summer school lately. Everyone in the entire class hates it, not just me, so I feel all justified now.

Someone complimented my doodling today. That seems to happen more and more to me, because they've become so elaborate of late. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pathetic enough that the whole reason I doodle is for attention. It's a pretty crappy way of getting attention, though. There's really nowhere for a conversation to go after, "Nice doodling." At least nowhere I can think of, and believe me, I've tried. I've tried so hard. *breaks down into unintelligible sobbing*

AWESOME. I love the internet! Several hours after I post about my love for the lounge singer guy, Albany Dan totally tells me who the guy is, and complains that I don't like infomercials enough. And I have a peanut gallery backing him up on the infomercial thing.

I do like some infomercials though. I think I'm addicted to the psychic ones, I used to love watching and making fun of Miss Cleo and before that--Psychic Friends with Dionne Warwick! Right now my favorite is this spa commercial that's on locally where they come up with this whole story plot about these two neighbors hooking up because of their spa. It's so awful that I have to laugh.

I do admit, the knife ones get old. I've seen so many knife infomercials that the next time I buy a knife and it can't cut through concrete I'm going to write an angry letter to someone.

In other news: never get Talia started talking on the process of Shrimp de-veining. It is truely disturbing.

Oh, also: I have to admit that I've been watching the Carson Daly Show late at night. It's not that great or that horrible, and I don't really have any other choices unless you count one of those ads where they use a kitchen knife to saw through concrete.

Anyway, this week Carson's show has been in Vegas, and they have this lounge singer guy singing the little intros when guests come out, and when they go to commercials. Anyway, I've decided I'm obsessed with the lounge singer guy. He is so awesome. He sings all these songs lounge singer style. System of a Down, Weezer, even 50 cent is awesome lounge singer style. The only problem is you never get to hear the whole song. Anyway: my new life's purpose is to go to Las Vegas someday to hear crazy lounge singer guy.

I just HAVE to whine about my awful ethics class again.

1) I have a small paper due EVERY day. They justify this saying we have 16 days of class, so one day of class is like a week of class in a regular semester. The thing is, though, I have never had a class where I had a paper due every week. Plus, it's not like we get time off, we spend as much time in class in one day as you would during a week in one regular semester.

2) I have to read my brains out, on top of this. Maybe I wouldn't mind if the books had anything to do with anything.
a) book one is common sense crap, that you know already. Reporters are under pressure to get stories done on time. Reporters should stay impartial. Etc. I wouldn't even bother reading the book except we're quizzed on minute details of examples the book gives of "ethical dillemmas." I have to read 30-60 pages of this damn book every night.
b) book two is by this hyperpretentious guy who thinks that he is trying to prevent the fall of western society. He's afraid everything will go to pot and we'll end up living in a world similar to the one in Huxley's Brave New World. The whole book is just his unsupported opinion on how people only care about entertainment. And he wanders into all this crap that doesn't even have to do with his main opinion, like how the invention of clocks have supposedly brought about the downfall of religion. I think he wants to be Huxley but doesn't have the finesse. Thankfully, I only have to read 10-15 pages of this a night.
c) book three is a series of point-counterpoint articles about issues in the media. I've only read one chapter yet (going to do the rest after I'm done ranting) but both the articles annoyed the hell out of me. The first article had it's points, but the guy writing it was convinced that people using curse words on TV was causing the fall of western society. He's afraid of homogenization, but he's the type of guy who if he had his way, everyone would be watching only what he approves of. The second article was saying that media is actually anti-homogenization, and the guy didn't have a leg to stand on. His big example was how sattellite TV has encouraged women's liberation in India. But he's full of crap, because it's global homogenization, basically trying to turn India into the west. And while I DO approve of women's liberation in India, I do get pissed from time to time when I hear about how our culture is so great that countries like India are so much better off now that they're like us. I have to read 20-30 pages of this a night.

3) 3 hours every weekday besides Friday sitting there listening to him lecture is so boring I want to smack myself for taking summer school.

Well, I have to go now. I have 20 pages to read and a paper to write before class.

Oh, and sorry about the crazy template, it's stuff I accidently did because I'm doing stuff involving switching to moveable type. And I'm poor at following instructions. So we'll see how it goes.

Summer School: the final frontier.

First off, I parked reeeally far away from the class, so I really had to hurry to get there. My calves were on fire. I think I must really be a lump of fat if I really couldn't walk that fast for that length and end up with burning calves.

Then, I found out I needn't have hurried, seeing as how I accidently came an hour early.

So I bought my books. Campus is really weird in the summer, btw. I felt like I was in one of those post-apocolyptic movie scenes where all the buildings and stuff are intact but there's no one around. Weirdly, even though hardly anyone was around, I managed to bump into Ed from the England trip last year. I thought we were decent aquaintences at the time, but talking to him again was really awkward. I hate talking to people like that, when I haven't seen them for a year and didn't know their whole life story before that anyway, because you feel obligated to talk to them, but you don't know what to say and odds are they're not too keen on talking to you either but don't want to be impolite.

Then was the actual "class" portion of my time on campus. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the bit of class where the instructor basically goes over the sylabus with a fine tooth comb and bores you to tears? Yeah. I have to grant to this guy that he hasn't yet reached Uber-Ben-Stein-Style-Boringness yet, but it was pretty close, plus i'm not into the subject matter. Classes on ethics suck, by college you pretty much know what you think is right and wrong and pay lipservice to what they think is right and wrong, and get bored to tears along the way. I wanted to maim myself after a couple of hours of this. He also assigned us a few papers and a group proj already, which, strangely enough was the one thing he DIDN'T go thoroughly through on his frolick through the sylabus.

Speaking of which: group projects, grrr. My group seems like a nice sort. They seemed to agree with me that "Group I is I-tastic!" and that "summer school is scary!" but I still don't like group projects.

Oh, and he asked us to put our hero's name on the paper with our phone numbers and stuff. I don't think I have any real heros.... I have people I'd like to hang out with, but no one that I'm like, "I want to be like them." So in a moment of flippantness, I put Wolverine down. I bet he's labeled me as a wisacre already.

I guess that's it.

AAAAAAHRG! Stupid blogger. I'm trying to switch to MT right now, and about an hour ago I logged on and started saving my archives to my harddrive just to make sure nothing got lost. My Dad offered to take me out for ice cream, and I came back, and it won't show the damned archives. ARGH.

So yeah.

I have 50 bajillion copies of Rolling Stone, I just discovered. I'm attempting to clean out my room (no small task) because *sigh* my mommy is making me. Anyway, I ended up cleaning up magazines first, because I realized I have a LOT of magazines. And I am sharing this observation with the world.

I was actually going to go somewhere from there, but I'm too tired and can't remember.

Oh, and I talked to New Roommate yesterday. She seems nice. "She seems nice," seems to be my standard comment about every new roommate once I meet them. Oh, and what I find hilarious--my mom already knows where the girl is from, because she answered the phone yesterday and asked. "Where is he/she from?" is the question my parents ask about everyone. I don't even know why. It says nothing about the person (but I guess they just like nonsensical questions, because the second is always "how tall are they?"). My first question would be more, "Major?" I would never bother to find out where my endless stream of roommates is coming from if I didn't know I'd have to ask them just to tell my parents.

Also, we went out to dinner (me & family, not me & roommate). I'm the type of person who has a favorite and gets it every time they're out somewhere, but I've been getting tired of the places we go to eat lately so I've been experimenting in order to widen my choices. Anyway, I've decided I'm one helluva picky bastard. I haven't been happy with any of the choices I've been making lately. Why this made it into my journal? I do not know.

Ugh. FTA still hasn't called me back or anything, leading me to think (and dread) that I'm going to have to call him again. I really really wish I'd known about Cinema studies long enough ago that I wouldn't have to deal with advisors. Because advisors SUCK. Maybe there's one or two good, but all around they SUCK.

I mean, the advisor for my old minor didn't even really have to do anything for me this semester except allow me into classes I need, and he couldn't even get that right. If I can't get the new minor off the ground, I'm going to have NO minor classes next semester.

But FTA, the one I'm hoping will come through for me, I doubt will come through for me. He keeps saying that we have to get the prof's permission when he doesn't even know who it is. He doesn't want to go ahead and put me in and get the prof mad. What I want to do is be like, "Hey, just put me in the class and if the prof gets mad take me back out and be like, 'hey, it's not like we could get ahold of you and consult you. My bad.' And if the prof finally shows up and doesn't get mad, I'm spared all this worry that you won't get me in." What also kills me about FTA is how badly he wants to cover his own ass when he doesn't even know who he's afraid of. The job of an advisor is to HELP people like me, not screw us over. But FTA and CAA (crappy ACS advisor), show a heroic unwillingness to help me out. I can see them not sticking their necks out for a freshmen, because you have 4 years to get the classes you need in then. But when I'm going to be a senior, and every time they screw me over means another semester of school? GRRR. I'd expect more help from some bystander on the street than these clowns.

So.... that's my long, nonsensical rant about how much college advisors suck.

I was totally going to do a post on what fictional (book) characters I crushed on, (idea stolen from Dragonpaws, but I was confronted by several problems:

1) I haven't read many good fiction books in a long time. Stupid school took away my thirst for literature. Or pulp fantasy novels. Whatever.
2) I'm not really hot for most of the guys in books anyway. There are ones I totally love and would want to hang out with, but not that I'm hot for.

So I'm doing book guys I want to hang out with. Because I only get one week of school break this summer, but I still can't find anything better to do with the time.

Sam from Villains by Necessity
Okay, him I actually am hot for. He's a good bad boy! With a desperate crush on someone else! How could I not be all about him? Anyway, I think he's a deeper character than you'd find in most fantasy books, which is what I like to read. I don't know if I'd want to marry him or anything, because "Assasin" isn't exactly the job description I'd want for a husband, but I could definately carry on a torrid affair with him.

Rimmer from Red DwarfTechnically, this character is more TV than book, but I've never seen the show (due to cruel, cruel fate) and I have read the books, so he counts, dammit! I don't have a crush on him, because he is a huge loser. He lost his virginity at thirty to a woman who had a concussion at the time. But, I love him because I see so much of myself in him. I mean, not withstanding the whole being a 21 year old virgin myself, but just everyone has that feeling where they can't get anything right, sometimes, and it's refreshing to see a character that is vain, selfish, cowardly, but still loveable and makes you root for him even though he probably deserves his constant failures. I'd also like to throw in a shout out to Talkie Toaster from those books, but I don't know if he counts as a guy, being a toaster and everything.

Yossarian from Catch-22 Again, also a movie, but have never seen it. I hear he's played by Alan Arkin. Anyway, I'm reading the sequel right now and it's not that cool, but in Catch-22 this guy is cool. I'd like hanging out with him because he's fun. Even though he's in the middle of a warzone, he still manages to be goofy and mess with stupid people's heads. The war has given him a lot of emotional baggage that you can tell a lot of the humor is a defense mechanism for

Kilgore Trout from about a gazzillion Kurt Vonnegut novels Kilgore Trout is always saying to his cat, "I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't in a book right now. He himself writes short stories with wildly strange plots that only get published in crappy porno mags to use up space. One of his short stories convinces a used automobile salesman to go on a murdering rampage. His son ends up being a ghost that watches the human race evolve into platypus-like beings on a desert island after the rest of the world is taken out by a disease that causes infertility.

That's all I have for now. And I didn't put women up because I mostly read Fantasy, and most of the women in those novels are kind of stupid.

Oh, and addendum: here's how I think they'd fit into my life:

Sam - Torrid affair
Kilgore - Eccentric Uncle
Rimmer - little brother
Yossarian - neighbor/school chum

Mom: Jesus Christ! (at something in the newspaper)
*bag on the table she's sitting at falls off with a huge thunk*
Me: You really shouldn't take the lord's name in vain like that. That was a warning smite, dude.

Okay, I found that really really funny. I crack myself up.

And here is another conversation, this time about mismanaging your college career:

Sarcasmyst: So the english major makes me happy, and the psych major keeps me fed
Sarcasmyst: *grin*
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: You've got it all figured out a helluva lot better than I did :P
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* That's 'cause I's REEEEAL smart. Har har.
Phoemeister: This is me:

"Hmm....I'll wait till the very last second to choose a major."
"Hmm... I'll totally pick a horrible minor, and a major that is nothing like what I thought it would be like."
"Hmm....I'll switch majors."
"eww...switching majors won't work out. I'll stay with this one."
"I really hate my minor but I'll stick it out anyway."
"Maybe I'll switch disciplines within my major."
"Hmm....I'm kind of liking my major now."
"My minor is killing me. Must switch. Oops, weaselly academic advisors screwing me, draining my life blood. Must fight on for new minor."

And that's where i'm at now
Phoemeister: Ah. Yeah, I can see where being smart might've helped :P
Phoemeister: I have developed a strong loathing for academic advisors.
Sarcasmyst: Lol
Sarcasmyst: my advisor...
Sarcasmyst: has no idea who I am
Sarcasmyst: generally loses important papers
Sarcasmyst: and is hard to find
Sarcasmyst: *grin*
Sarcasmyst: I am in advisor-less land.
Sarcasmyst: And I LIKE it.
Sarcasmyst: Bwa ha ha.
Sarcasmyst: what is your major?
Phoemeister: I know how you feel. I only talk to mine when I absolutely have to.

Mass Com. I wanted to get into music production, which I thought was radio production, which is nowhere near the same, and I couldn't switch to music production, and the radio industry's in the crapper, so I'm switching to TV/Movies prod which is slightly less in the crapper, and I'm enjoying writing more than production lately anyway.
Sarcasmyst: *nods* Sounds kinda fun, really
Phoemeister: I kind of suck at production, to tell you the truth.
Phoemeister: Yeah, it is. I'm in a lot happier place now that I'm doing a lot more hands on stuff

Oh, here's something I've wanted to blog about for some time: a local Christian bookstore of ours, Berean, has been having ads lately where they have the American flag, or our troops or something, and are all "go to church this sunday" at the end.

No, not, "go to church and pray for our troops," just go to church. Okay, I know they're not trying to be "if you don't go to church, you're not patriotic," but it comes so close that it really, really annoys me. Being American is not being Christian. They are two unrelated things that Berean should not try to tie together. I mean, we practically invented separation of church and state. We're the first to clearly put it in writing, certainly.

So I'd like to say to Berean Bookstores: STOP BEING SUCH BUTTHEADS AND GO BACK TO PUSHING VEGGIE TALES PARAPHANALIA SANS PATRIOTIC PROPAGANDA.

I got a hit from Japanese google and a hit from New Zealand google today. I feel so international. And less frightened. Now I've got non-arab countries looking for me, for once.

And lots of hits for Funny Cide, Naked Matt Damon, and Dave Grohl's funny Tee shirts.

Really: I got online and had nothing to do. Yep.

Suprise, surprise


you are a science fiction novel


what type of book are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So much to say.....

I've actually not been posting for the last few days because I was actually so busy. So I'm going to hastily sum it up.

1) Move-out. Never a fun experience. Went fairly smoothly though. The only thing worse than moving out my crap: cleaning up that filthy hole. And i'm not even joking about it being filthy. It is the dustiest place on earth.

2) X2. Pretty good. Like last time, I'm disappointed by the lack of character development, but I expected it so wasn't too burned. Also: I think Nightcrawler is AWESOME. I never really knew about that character before because I only watched the X-Men cartoon, but you can't help but fall in love with circus-folk.

3) Tornado Warning. I was going to go more thoroughly into the above, as well as other stuff, last night yesterday, but the power went off 5 minutes after I logged on. And we had all these dire tornado sightings. But, though windy and lightningy outside, it never even rained. My dad and I actually went outside for part of the duration.

4) 'roids. Steroids are AWESOME. I haven't pooped all day! Do you have any idea what that's like for me? I have a fear that I might be a little bit on the constipated side now (not to mention the unpleasantness of taking 17 pills a day + 2 calcium supplements) but It's a sweet, sweet, change from diahrea every 5 minutes.

5) Mother's day. Too cold to go out looking for flowers like usual. We had brunch at the new IHOP. My sister got annoyed with me because I was really chipper. I love the girl, but I'm somewhat troubled by the fact that she likes me better when I'm in a bad mood than when I'm happy. I took a nap half the rest of today, and then watched Die Hard. The one with the plane.

There. Now you're up to date on the scintillating details of my day to day life.

I can't believe they have all those questions about piercings under "fucking sick." I score higher in doing sick acts than I do on being straight, because I have pierced ears. What's that?

Anyway.... I'd have to say I'm almost creepily pure.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	88.3% Never taken out of the packaging	61.9%
Shamelessness	97.6% Has yet to see self in mirror	77.1%
Sex Drive	97.4% The Pope is envious	75.3%
Straightness	100%	40.7%
Gayness	100%	80%
Fucking Sick	99.1% Refreshingly normal	88.2%
You are 97.68% pure Average Score: 69.9%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

Do you know that feeling when you eat a steak and it feels good going down, but then after awhile you're like, "Gee, I have a huge hunk of meat in my stomach." And all your burps are steak-y? It reminds me of that one episode of king of the hill where they show an X ray of Hank and there's this huge steak jammed in his colon. Though I kind of feel bad no matter what I put in my colon, so it might as well be steak.

Worse: Igraine had steak too, and didn't eat hers all the way, and had this steak stinking up her car so I was like, confronted by the overpowering smell of steak even while regretting the steak that I ate. Hell must be full of ironies like this.

Weirdly enough, I asked for well done and got medium done. Igraine asked for medium done, and got rare. No point to this, just saying that Applebee's should re-examine their steak cooking.

We had a great time, though. We laughed, smelled stuff, and saw Chicago. It was good, I was glad I saw it on the big screen. It was good to go out and have fun with a real human being besides my parents.

I'm so mad. I was about to log in just now, and one of the random links on the page was to a blog called "t8er boi." How hilarious is that? That man could be my future husband! But cruel fate (or perhaps bill gates) tore me away from him when IE crashed, and now I don't know the url and couldn't find the page on google.

Anyway: I'm about to get on the 'roids. We decided this pansy colasol crap wasn't cutting it so I'm going to go on steroids. Fun stuff, I'll tell ya. Anyway, I'm relishing the chance to act bitchy and use 'roid rage as an excuse.

Also, it took an HOUR in the office just to wait for him. Stupid Dr's offices, I hate them SO much.

Also, I hate how I'm the only one under 60 who comes into that waiting room. It clearly shows me how fucked up my digestive system is that I'm the only non 60 year old who's going to a digestive disease consultant.

And I'm sick of the paperwork. I have to fill out 8 forms every time I go there. And they ask crap that doesn't even have anything to do with my colon. Like, marital status. I put down "Still lookin'."

And my mom told me this story about how a deer broke into my dad's office building. Honest to god. I would've loved to be one of the people working at the desk near where it busted in. That's gotta be like, the ULTIMATE "this weird thing happened at work," story. You could milk it for years. Hell, I still tell people about the car that exploded behind the Old Lady Store I worked at three years ago. Hell, I'll be telling my grandkids about the deer and I don't even work there. Hell, I just like saying hell.

Speaking of "awesome" does anyone else associate the word with the 80's? It seems like "awesome" (as was "rad") was big in the 80's. And uncool (cool seems to be rather long-running) during the 90's. But people say it again now. My first roommate said it all the time, and it got me saying it too. And lots of people on my trip to England.

Which, in England it was weird. Because people from my group would be like, "St. Paul's Cathedral was AWESOME!!" And while "awesome" is a compliment, if I were St. Paul's Cathedral, I'd be going more for "majestic." Or at least "bitchin'."

Wowee. I got a call from my roommate next semester already (on my answering machine, I wasn't around to actually talk to her).

It used to freak me out, getting used to new roomates, but seeing as how she'll be my 4th roommate, I'm kinda getting over "first meeting the roommate anxiety."

Anyway, she seemed nice enough.

I hope I didn't frighten her when I e-mailed her back:

Hi! This is Phoe, I just recieved your phone call. I am e-mailing you instead of calling because I'm still in the dorm and have no good long distance plan. Aaaaanyway, if you want to call me at my home number (where I will be in a few days) its ###-####. Or call me again here before I leave. Or e-mail me back. The choices are endless!

Anyway, you're in for a real treat next semester, because I am really awesome!

Catch you later,

Phoe

Gr... last night I realized that I'm fairly sure that my TV prod and Radio prod finals are in the same room. Usually: not a problem. Unless you're at a school that's stupid enough to schedule the finals of 2 different classes at the same time!

So 1. TV prod is not in the room we usually have it in, and I never heard the final room
2. Radio prod is not in the room we usually have it in. and I never heard the final room
3. Both 1 & 2
4. They actually scheduled 2 finals in the same room.

So, I'm worried that I might not have actually heard where one or more of my finals is: always scary

I'm not sure if I should show up early, so I have time to find the real room if I end up screwed or show up close to time so that I don't sit there pointlessly worrying for 8 minutes.

Gah.... ISU!

The sad thing is I actually DO have ADD


You have ADD!


What is your mental profile?
brought to you by Quizilla

I think I've dropped my remote control one too many times

Phoemeister: I just taped my remote together!
Kin: Awesome. I just read about Sir Ian McKellen and aborting the antichrist. =P
Phoemeister: I mean, I had a little tape keeping the bit that holds the battery in, but now tape is literally holding my remote together
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: Wouldn't you abort the antichrist if you had had sex with the devil?
Phoemeister: Another funny thing about the movie: The devil was played by Greg in Dharma and Greg.
Kin: Sure I would.
Kin: Yeah, oddly, I think I've seen that movie before.
Kin: Or at least part of it.
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: Oh my god. My remote is going to explode. It's gotten all hot. I SWEAR
Kin: lol...Are the batteries in correctly?
Phoemeister: OWWWWWW. I just took the batteries out and burned myself
Phoemeister: I thought they were
Kin: If they're in backwards, they can get really hot. I've seen batteries like, melt inside a CD player, because they were in backwards.
Kin: The guy still has a ring burnt into his finger from where he tried to take the battery out.
Phoemeister: weird... I don't think they were in backwards though, because they'd been in there like that for a long time, they only got hot after I taped the thing back together
Kin: Hm. I dunno.
Phoemeister: OW. Just made the mistake of re-touching the battery to see if it had cooled down
Kin: lol...Good one, Phoe. =P
Phoemeister: ......thanks :P
Phoemeister: hm, we might have a spare universal remote at home. Maybe I'll just throw this one away
Kin: That might be a good idea.
Kin: You wouldn't want your remote leaking battery acid all over the place. That burns more than hot metal. =P
Phoemeister: Ow..... yeah
Phoemeister: I keep entertaining the thought of holding my milkshake on top of the hot batteries to cool them down. But I'm like, "do I really want to fuck with the batteries again after being burnt twice?"
Kin: lol...Ah, just give 'em time.

Phoemeister: OW. Just made the mistake of re-touching the battery to see if it had cooled down
Talia: stop touching them
Phoemeister: I did
Talia: cool, and it only took you two times to learn
Phoemeister: shut up!
Phoemeister: I thought they'd cooled down
Talia: :: Laughs::


The bit about the antichrist is supposed to confuse you all.

Another new comic *points to sidebar*

And I promise, it's a LOT funnier than the one about earwax. Though not very original.

Originality is for losers, anyway.

And so, I present to you: An Illustrated Guide to White People (I'm too lazy to put in the link, so click on the sidebar, damn you!)

Wow. I never knew that one day I'd be taking a quiz that proclaimed me Hell's librarian. Next up for me: the Antichrist's Accountant


You are smart and sexy!


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Helpful if I ever do end up kissing someone.

Will: (one of my crushes but it'll never work out because he already has a girlfriend and I'm never going to see him again now that class is over) Did you study for the final?
Me: uh...err... not really. I figure by now I know it or not, and studying's not going to help. Plus it was a beautiful day out.
Will: Yeah, that all goes the same for me. Except for the beautiful day thing. I played video games.
Me: Err... Actually I was watching Spiderman on HBO. I just like to pretend like I go outside.
Will: you pretend to go outside?
Me: I meant I like to pretend like I'm not a geek.
Will: Oh, it's alright. I'm a geek too.
Me: Oh, I forgot I don't have to front about that with you.

Anyway: no wonder we're both barely squeaking by in that class :p

Also: does anyone else cry when they watch Spiderman? I mean, I never cry at movies, even the ones that intentionally try to be sad. But in Spiderman I always cry at the bit they replaced the WTC scene with where the guy goes, "Hey, we're New Yorkers! You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!"

Take the "Which FARK Cliche Are You" quiz!

UGH. They can't figure out who the prof is going to be for the class I NEEEEEED if I'm going to have this minor. So FTA can't give me the override or find out who can. And the little weasel won't even commit to giving his opinion on whether or not the prof, once found, will give me an override.

It KILLS me, KILLS me that I have to depend so hard on one of ISU's crappy advisors. They screw up small things, what about this?

I woke up at 11 but I'm still tired. Waking up every 5 minutes throughout the night might've had something to do with it, though. Especially when ISU furthered the problem by making all sorts of weird noises outside my window. My favorite: this extremely loud noise that sounded like a police siren, but put on a tape deck and speeded up and slowed down going higher and lower. I don't know if that's an apt comparison or not. Most annoying: I could hear it through earplugs and 2 extremely loud fans. What is the point of earplugs and extremely loud fans if you can't block out noise?

I also made a new comic yesterday. It's kind of a crappy one, but I felt I had to make it to keep up the charade that I'm creative. Enjoy.

Wanda: Oooh, I get to be in Limbo! I'm a virtuous non-believer!
Phoemeister: lol

I go straight to hell
Phoemeister: I think dante's categories are stupid anyway. Caesar makes virtuous non believer, but anthony and cleopatra go to lustville. Caesar killed all sorts of people and lusted after cleopatra too. And I'm surprised that like, the 3 VIP damned are as lame as they are
Wanda: Yeah, but I think you go to the worst place you could be categorised for.
Phoemeister: no, actually gluttony place (my sin) is less bad than a lot of the others I scored high on
Wanda: Yeah, but that's just that test, not Dante.
Phoemeister: no, I meant dante was stupid for putting caesar where he was, and that the ultimate damned being who they are is lame
Wanda: Ah, right.
Phoemeister: aha: the top 3 damned are: Judas, Brutus, and Cassius

I can see why Judas goes there, but the others aren't that bad comparatively. I have no idea who Cassius even is.
Phoemeister: Oh, and Aristotle doesn't deserve to be in limbo either, because he was a misogynist bastard
Wanda: Yeah, but this is organised Christianity... females _are_ treated crap as a matter of course :oP
Phoemeister: ah, touche
Phoemeister: my level of hell gets no famous people
Phoemeister: though I suppose I could think of modern ones. Like Sir Mix a lot. I'm in the same circle of hell as Sir Mix a lot
Wanda: LOL
Wanda: That rocks. I'm kinda jealous!
Phoemeister: You SHOULD be. I bet Louie Anderson is in my circle of hell too
Phoemeister: and Cerebus tears at me with his teeth and claws!
Wanda: Who's Louie Anderson.
Wanda: Damnit, you get to meet Cerebus!!? I'm WAY jealous!!
Phoemeister: He's this fat guy. Hence being in my circle of hell, Gluttony. (I can't remember whether or not Sir Mix a Lot was fat, but he encouraged women to be gluttonous, so that counts the same in my Human Comedy :P)
Wanda: Weird... y'know, Limbo is totally me... the castle is 7-sided - 7 is my lucky number. It's alllllll about sorrow/melancholy and that's totally me. I'm a Pagan. I'm all abotu peaceful, yet sad. And I'm all about meadows, too.
Wanda: LOL - your version sounds pretty cool, missy!
Phoemeister: ....I can't believe you actually want to go to sorrowful/misogynist arostotle place
Phoemeister: lol, thanks. I should write an updated version
Wanda: LOL - I don't WANT to... I just mean it's quite apt for me :oP
Wanda: I don't even believe in Heaven/Hell, etc.
Wanda: LOL - I was just thinking that :oP

So the professor finally calls (the 2 minutes in the day I'm actually away, of course)....

...and it's not her class.

So I call FTA (Foreign Theatre Advisor^(TM))...

...and he's not there

So I'm waiting for yet another phone call.

My Canadian fan base grows every day.

Ugh... I can't believe I go to such a stupid University. My parents say it's not just ISU, it's all schools, but I seriously think the public school system must be in pretty poor condition if they're all like my school.

Anyway, mean theatre advisor called me back while I was gone for the weekend. I left him my home number, but he totally got it wrong. Like, not even one digit out of place, just a totally different number. That freaked me out, because I didn't want him even more angry at me than he seems to be anyway. Anyway, he told me to come and see him in person. That was a whole lot of fun. The "artsy" bit of campus is labyrinthine even at the best of times, but it's especially scary when there's construction.

So I finally get to the guy's office, and he wants me to fill out the sheet for switching minors. Which I've told him about 8 times I'm afraid to commit because I already have a minor, but he's still like, "So, you don't already have a minor, right?" Anyway, apparently the override to get into the class I really need an override to get into is up to the prof teaching the class, not him. So I called her up and am now waiting for a message from her. Why does it always seem like I'm waiting for a phone call?

Anyway, I have to apologize for all the abuse I've been dishing out to mean theatre advisor on this blog. He's some foreign guy, so I can see why phone numbers mess him up and he doesn't always catch everything I say. Foreigners and I have a history of not understanding each other. And I guess don't blame him for being somewhat grumpy, because I wouldn't want to deal with angry college students in a strange land either.

I myself am also somewhat grumpy because I had to search an hour before I could find my wallet this morning. And when my mom's around, looking for things is doubly stressful because she keeps calling out places to look that I've looked already and then looks at them herself after I tell her I won't look there again and berates me for having a messy room. Which, the messy room has nothing to do with it. I can totally lose things as easily, if not more easily in a clean room. Case in point: we found my wallet in my dirty clothes hamper. That has nothing to do with all the crap on my floor. (and no, I didn't leave the wallet in my pants, as I ended up wearing them again today, the wallet somehow magically found it's way into the hamper, which sort of freaks me out)

What is up with the names they give racing horses? I mean, I know you want a memorable name that stands out, but these horses are named sentences, not names.

Anyway, I've decided if I ever get a racing horse I'm going to name him Bob. "Funny Cide coming up on the outside, Empire Maker in the lead, Silver Charm holding his own, Peace Rules a cool fourth and Tabasco Cat's not totally out of the running but wait! Wait!!! Bob is making his move! Yes, Bob has won the Kentucky Derby! Wooo!"

If I get a second horse, I'm going to name him Chrysler or something, just so Chrysler would pay money to have my horse on their ads.

GAH. Talking to advisors: not fun. I talked to a com advisor today, and she seems pretty optimistic that if I get one override from the mean theatre advisor, and register for a couple of other classes, I'll only have to be here an extra semester.

WOO HOO

But..... I came back to register for the classes I don't need an override for.... Registration's closed. So I called back the com department, and of course no one answered, so I have to wait even longer for an answer about that.

I called up mean theatre advisor to either beg or badger him into giving me an override, and he wasn't there either. And being mean, he probably won't call me back.

D'OH

ISU bureaucracy = formidable

I talked to my mom about the minor thing. She was surprisingly supportive.

It just KILLS me that that damn theatre advisor won't give me an override for next semester, though. I tried calling him back to beg him to do so, but I chickened out and hung up on him. I hope he doesn't have caller id. I have an appointment with a com person tomorrow, hopefully they can tell me something.

I think I might go for it though. ACS is making me miserable.

Another illustration of the idiocy of ISU: they TOTALLY scheduled two of my final exams at the exact same time.

I talked to one of my profs, and now I'm taking one right after the other. Which is kind of also not fun.

You know, I'm mad at the advisors about the whole minor situation, but I think the reason I'm so very mad is I'm mad at myself as well. I knew I hated ACS when I got into it. I knew my minor should've been English, if anything. I just didn't want to write that many papers. Programming was a novelty, at least. But now I despise programming and feel about the same about writing as I ever did.

I mean, I blame the advisors. I blame my parents. But secretly I blame myself too.

Phoemeister: AAAAAAH
Phoemeister: Advisors at ISU SUCK
Talia: yup
Phoemeister: I talked to the cinema studies advisor, and he pretty much brushed me off, the bastard
Talia: because he sucks
Phoemeister: "No. There's no way I can possibly help you. Please stick with your old major, or stay here like, 80 more years at a place you hate, you know, pretty much go fuck yourself."
Phoemeister: He wouldn't even help me with registration for next semester, so it would only be like, 70 more years. He's like, "they're full."

I damn well know that even if classes are full an advisor can get you an override if he or she wants to
Talia: but he doesn't want to cause it's more work for him
Phoemeister: pretty much
Phoemeister: And the guy I met who has a minor in cinema studies said something about how some of his com classes count for it or vice versa. I asked the advisor about that, and he didn't even answer me
Talia: maybe cause he doesn't even know.... ask your friend who his advisor is, and go see that guy and explain why your seeing him instead of your own advisor
Phoemeister: I don't know the guy's name.... he was just in the editting room the other day when we were editting our PSA's

Big sigh

I always knew I was going to hell........

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

"In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws."

"Just before the river Styx is the Fourth Level of Hell. Here, the prodigal and the avaricious suffer their punishment, as they roll weights back and forth against one another. You will share eternal damnation with others who either wasted and lived greedily and insatiably, or who stockpiled their fortunes, hoarding everything and sharing nothing. Plutus, the wolf-like demon of wealth, dwells here."

"The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx." I'm not sure whether I'm the wrathful or the gloomy. I think it's kind of crappy that "gloomy" is a sin....

"You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell."

"Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level." Also not sure I belong in the violent section of hell either...

I guess I'm most likely to end up in middle hell. Yay.

Soundtrack of my Life (idea stolen from this guy)

It was REALLY hard to narrow down some of them. And others, it was a struggle getting just one.


opening credits: Amphetamine by Everclear
waking-up scene: Daysleeper by REM
average-day scene: Best Imitation of Myself by Ben Folds Five
best-friend scene: Last Night by The Strokes
first-date scene: Rock Show by Blink 182
falling-in-love scene: F.N.T. by Semisonic
love scene: Everlong by The Foo Fighters
fight-with-friend scene: Yeah, Whatever by Splender
break up scene: There are lots of good breakup songs I thought of, but I have to go with the obvious, Song For the Dumped by Ben Folds Five
get-back-together scene: I’m a Fool by American Hi-Fi
fights-at-home scene: Something’s Always Wrong by Toad The Wet Sprocket
'life's okay' scene: Back Door by CCR
heartbreak scene: Shimmer by Fuel
having fun and doing stupid things with friends scene: Pretty Fly For a White Guy by The Offspring
lovesick scene: Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung
mental-breakdown scene: Pardon Me by Incubus
happy realization scene: Out of Routine by Idlewild
driving scene: Open Road Song by Eve 6/The Vast Spoils of America by Saves the Day
lesson-learning scene: Little Discourage by Idlewild
deep-thought scene: Scarborough Fair/Canticle by Simon and Garfunkel
flashback scene: Little Things by Good Charlotte
party scene: Fight For Your Right To Party by The Beastie Boys
regret scene aka the ''i fucked up and now im really really sorry and i feel like shit about it' scene: My Own Worst Enemy by Lit
happy-dance song: Whoop There it Is by Tag Team
long-night-alone scene: Lucky Denver Mint by Jimmy Eat World
closing credits: Rockin’ The Suburbs by Ben Folds Five

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Stupid piece of crap ISU advisors. Today, I learned of the perfect minor for me: Cinema Studies.

I would've jumped on this minor even a semester ago. But now..... I'd have to get 18 hours of courses done in one semester (plus all the work I still have left in my major) if I wanted to graduate on time. Hell, even if I COULD breathe under a massive load like that, I couldn't take them all at once anyway because of prereqs.

I HATE my current minor. HATE it. I said awhile ago "I will kill myself if I have to take 169 again." Well I DO have to take 169 again. And it SUCKS ASS. But I stuck with it because I wanted to graduate on time/didn't know of any minors that were all that great anyway.

Well, if I'd known about cinema studies, I would've switched, despite graduating slightly slower. As opposed to now, when switching would put me GROSSLY BEHIND. Which would be kind of a problem if I even liked college, but especially sucks because I HATE IT AT THIS HELLHOLE.

I only even learned of the minor just now from someone who had it. My shitty, shitty advisors never breathed a word of this to me. BASTARDS. BASTARDS.

I'm going to talk to an advisor (even though they're bastards) tomorrow about maybe switching, if it's possible at all.... which I doubt it is. GAAAH.

Well, I thought I was done with papers for this semester.

But no, I have to write a 4-6 page paper analyzing a movie for Media Writing.

For a long time I've been thinking of this (even before I knew it'd be so loooong) and I had pretty much decided on Pleasantville. It's classier than most movies I'm into, it's not going to be a movie every moron in my class is going to pick, and I have seen it several times and know it pretty well.

But today, I was like, I should do something totally unclassy. And not popular unclassy. Just plain goofy, but loveable, like Honey I Shrunk The Kids or something. Or The Cutting Edge. Or a kids movie.

Or do something truly awful like a Vin Diesel movie and really tear into how horrible it is. Can you see the prof having to wade thru a 6 page paper on like, Pokemon: The Movie or The Scorpion King? (yes, I know--neither of these feature Vin, but I just thought of them) Difficult decision.

It's weird, I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on my sitcom from friends, I'm interested in seeing what the prof has to say about it.

In fact, several people were all, "You should really make it! And MC Hammer's not doing anything, you could probaby give him a $20, and he'd star in it in a minute!" Now I all wish I DID have the resources to make it. Maybe someday.

And if it did get popular, E! would do a thing on it, and they'd be like, "How did you come up with such a great idea?" and I could be like, "It was a school project. I got a B. I think the prof would agree now that it's A material. *arrogant laugh*"

(I did get a B on the first article. Possibly I'll get an A on this *crosses fingers*)

Hmm, lots of my prof's have been story-y lately. Today the TV prof took time out of class to tell us about this criminal guy who ran into a wall because he was too busy cussing out reporters to look where he was going.

Good times.

You've gotta love a professor that tells the class a story about how he blew himself up trying to set fire to several groundhog holes.

Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says:
Have you looked at my sitcom?
Wanda ~ Misfit, I sit, lit up, wicked says:
Not yet.
Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says
You should. it's aaaawesome
Wanda ~ Misfit, I sit, lit up, wicked says:
I'll take your word for it until I have time to read it
Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says:
*sad face*
Wanda ~ Misfit, I sit, lit up, wicked says
Beh
Wanda ~ Misfit, I sit, lit up, wicked says:
I'm self-pitying here!
Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says:
but it would cheer you up
Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says:
I make fun of an 80's rap icon
Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says:
no better cure for heartache
Wanda ~ Misfit, I sit, lit up, wicked says:
LOL
Phoe - I'm hip hop (on paper) says:
I'll make fun of Sir Mix a Lot for you next, if you want
Wanda ~ Misfit, I sit, lit up, wicked says:
Who?

Wooo! Done with my sitcom.

e-mail me if you want to read it (self esteem requires me to pretend someone will want to read it besides the people I'm going to foist it on anyway)

I rocked the radio practical!

I got a 90%, when I hadn't looked at the sheet for months!

And it wasn't like, stuff we did every day in radio class. It was crazy crap, like putting tone on carts. WOOOO! Go me! And go my nice Lab Instructor for giving partial credit on things!

Argh. I promised myself I wouldn't get into A Simple Plan.

Also: a couple other problems with the sitcom

1) Slang. I'm finding it very difficult to write the English drummer's English slang. I'm also finding it difficult to write the lead singer's street-slang. I'd dispose of at least the lead singer's slang, but if I write it the way I generally write things, the lead singer and the bassist (who talks regular) sound like the same person. Hell, even with the slang, the English girl gets kind of cardboardy too. My problem is I have troubles making characters say something different from what I'd say if I were in that same situation. So it's like regular me (bassist), street-slang me (lead singer), English me (drummer) as opposed to regular me, regular me, regular me. But I'm bad at the slang.

2) Resolving the plot. Getting MC Hammer out of their house. Proving difficult. I was originally trying to find a way for them to remove the reason they even let Hammer in the house (he's blackmailing the bassist with pictures of him in a mullet), but I wasn't sure how to go about that. I've had several other good suggestions: have Eminem come over and scare him out, get MC Hammer to join the latest Eagles reunion tour.... But those both sound sort of deus ex machina. (Yeah, I can't believe I used a term with "god" in it to describe Don Henley and Eminem either)

3) My characters are TRYING to be funny, because I'm trying to be funny. Like always, I just have them sitting around and insulting each other while the occaisional little thing happens to them. I should work harder to make the characters do things instead of just have them happen to them. Also, my character's reactions to the situation should be funny, rather than them trying to be funny. That is why it's a "situation comedy."

All of this: easier said than done. easier said than written, anyway....

So I had my lunch with the prof from my England trip, Igraine, Chris, and Cory.

Good times. It's weird how sometimes you don't realize how much you miss a person until you see him/her again. It was nice.

But while I sat there, with among other people, 2 prospective lawyers who make great grades, one complaining about how she couldn't fit all of the relevant information on her resume, me knowing I have to pad to make a one page resume. Going to be kicked out of the honors program for failing 169. Etc. I began to feel kind of bad about myself. What in the hell have I been doing the last 3 years?

The prof was really nice, though. Somehow the group got on the subject of reference letters, and I ended up mentioning that he was probably the only prof I could put on anything. I've failed to maintain friendships with the few profs who have any idea whatsoever who I am, I guess. Anyway, he said that he doesn't like to do reference letters for people unless he thinks he could write a really strong one, and I was like, "could you write a really strong one for me?" and he said he could. So I know where to go if I need a reference, I guess.

Also: I got to mentioning the sitcom I'm writing. Igraine pulled a "what in the hell are you on?" face when I mentioned some of the jokes I thought were funniest, worrying me, but since then I've talked to a few other people, and they think it's funny. Also, someone said something about seeing it on the air someday, and I was like, "Yeah, I'd be surprised." The prof was like, "I'd be surprised if it didn't get on the air someday. You are one of the brightest, most creative students I've ever had." That totally warmed the cockles of my heart. Though at the same time I'm a bit suspicious of it. He's never read any of my creative writing. A lot of people say nice things about my writing, but they're all my friends. Strangers, such as the people I worked with on the radio proj, seem a bit turned off by my writing ideas. I always wonder who's opinion is closer to the truth......

Oh well. Time to get to class.

Well I actually managed to start my sitcom last night. It's probably not professional caliber, but it's pretty damn good for a single inexperienced writer. I ended up going with "MC Hammer as unpleasant houseguest." I actually started with "the Itching Monkey Dogs volunteer as Big Brothers/Big Sisters," but nothing would come. But I have 3 or 4 scenes of MC Hammer being unpleasant, so woo, way to be unpleasant MC Hammer. I also have to write a bit of description/action of the chars while their not talking into the script, but that should also be easy.

Best of all, it's not as long as I thought it would be. 10 pages is a lot, but it's about half as much in the script form he wants us to use. The only long/difficult part will probably be the treatment, where I explain the whole plot of the show. We're supposed to do that before we write the script, of course, but I'm a rebel, man.

I'm trying to write a monkeesesque sitcom for my final project in Media Writing starring a band I made up called "The Itching Monkey Dogs." The only problem is while I'm pretty good at characters, I suck at plot. And even when I come up with plots i'm not sure how to execute them. Or which to pick. So here are my plot ideas, and I value input from anyone who leaves a comment:

--Every sitcom at one point or other has the episode with "the unpleasant houseguest." I was originally thinking of M.C. Hammer being the unpleasant houseguest, but my mom also had a the amusing idea of one of the Itching Monkey Dog's Grandmas being the unpleasant houseguest

--The tourbus breaks down in the middle of a small town

--The Itching Monkey Dogs go back in time. Possibly the bassist ends up being his own grandfather, though I probably couldn't get away with this because I stole the idea from Futurama. Possibly they end up meeting The Monkees, which I think would be hilarious but i don't know if I could write it very well because I don't remember specifics about the Monkees or the 70's.

--The Itching Monkey Dogs volunteer to be Big Brothers/Big Sisters

--The Itching Monkey Dogs go on a cruise.

--The Itching Monkey Dogs go to Vegas. Possibly meet Wayne Newton

Several of these my mom actually came up with. She's actually a much better idea person than me.

the spirited part


Which Part of Q's Personality Are You?
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hmm.... not too descriptive. But it's Q, dammit!

A massive brute, you prefer your mates brought to
you, have simple tastes and like a good scrap
with giant reptiles. You don't get on well
with technology so stay well out of the way of
civilisation.


What Primate Are You?
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I DO like a good scrap with a giant reptile.

Congradulations your Zoolander!

Which Zoolander Character Are You?
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Which influential yet unknown 1940's computer would you hack on?
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French Guard
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous
accent, you silly king-a?!


What Monty Python Character are you?
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Hmm, I got the same as pablo

god you dumbass.


What swear word are you?
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I signed up for another e-mail address, so now Oral Sex is properly working again. So if anyone sent me any in the last couple weeks, resend bay-bee!

I'm #3 on google for: pee sex in leg braces

That doesn't count the sponsored link: Proud to be Perverts - See our Pee Sex action! Which you better appreciate the humor in that, because I acidently clicked on that when I was trying to copy it over here and my history/cache is going to keep it in there, and people are going to think I like pee sex action, and it's all your fault!

Also amusing, #2: Trek Nation: a Night In Sickbay. hits like these make me truly, truly disturbed.

I'm #10 on google for: pee sex and teeth braces

Okay, thinking this was the same person, and they were stupid enough to click on my non pee sex related site again. Which, how dumb are you not to click on the pee sex action link, and instead continue 10 down to:

Blogspot * get rid of this ad here
... Which annoys me, because braces hurt a lot, and it'll be for ... I have not brushed my
teeth in four months. ... cup in Coach McGuirk's hand* you want me to pee in that ...

All I'm asking is that the pervs of the world get a bit smarter....

Argh--The TV proj we've been working on ALL SEMESTER almost got derailed. See, our group has to hook up with a member of the advanced class, when there's time in the edit room, to edit together all the footage.

Yeah, too bad we were almost the last group done filming, and didn't talk to someone about hooking up with the advanced students until almost a week later than that, even. Gah, we almost ended up with nothing. And I was especially annoyed, because I was the one who ended up having to call up all these random advanced students we don't know. I hate talking to strangers on the phone.

Anyway, I finally hooked us up, so we'll (HOPEFULLY) be done Wednesday of the last possible week of class. Yeah.

I also have to write a 10 or more page part of a sitcom about the fake band the Itching Monkey Dogs this weekend/last week. *sigh* at least my radio final proj is done.

After all of that, I'll be done...... for like a week, until I have to start summer school. Yay.......

Talia: how is it being in love with Mister Constantinople?
Phoemeister: lol... I really do like him. And I have talked to him a couple times in this other class I have with him. And I know he has the same taste in movies as I do, because we always have to talk about movies in that class
Talia: aww have I heard you mention him before?
Phoemeister: Maybe. Neil?
Talia: nope, I remember a Will for some reason'
Phoemeister: Yeah, Will's the guy in ACS that I'm stalking :P
Talia: cool, I'm not insane that I remember someone named that
Phoemeister: Neil's like Com pretend boyfriend, and Will's like ACS pretend boyfriend.
Phoemeister: yeah :D
Phoemeister: I like them both. Especially since I've actually talked to them on occaision, which is more than I can say for most guys I like, but the talking has sort of trickled off, and I don't know if I said something, or it's just random trickling off
Talia: hehe your like me, if you see a guy look at you, you've suddenly got them on your mind alot
Phoemeister: LOL..... yeah :P
Phoemeister: I confess to that :P
Talia: I've always done that hehe been somewhat fickle with my crushes
Talia: or had two crushes at once, just to keep my options open
Phoemeister: It's weird. I'm fickle and loyal at the same time. Err... meaning sometimes I can be fickle, but other times I can have crushes for yeeeeears

Well, I talked to the advisor, and I can get multi media aps. Though he won't guarantee me a spot. Gee, thanks.

He said that he was actually trying to steer people away from the Web class, because the prof teaching it next semester flat out expects you to know java. That pisses me off SO much. Not at the advisor, but at whatever prof that is. If there's no prereq, you shouldn't just expect people to know things. That's what annoyed me about making us do a unix prog in 169, and a huge annoyance in my hardware class where the guy expects us to know hardware already.

So, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that other course. I asked the prof if there were any other non-programming classes that might fulfill my requirements, and he's like, "welll... there's this one where the prof thinks you should be pretty good at internet stuff that you might qualify for." So... yeah. I'm going to investigate that. I'm no hacker, but I thiiink I know how to "use" the internet.

stupid school. And my nose is running like a faucet, and I'm feeling queasy in the stomach.

Do you cluck or do you roar?

this quiz was made by alanna

How random are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

And I swear, Wanda: I did not cheat to get this score. Though I probably would've if I hadn't gotten it honestly :P

Phoemeister: a bit AAAH feeling, because I still haven't been allowed to register for some ACS classes I absolutely need next semester
Wanda: How come you haven't been allowed to yet?
Wanda: (to register)
Phoemeister: I don't know. I scheduled an appointment with my advisor today so I can find out
Wanda: What, have you been to register and they just won't let you? Or is everyone else having this problem too?
Phoemeister: and if they're like, "it's cos you're flunking 169 (the class I'm not taking anymore but still shows up on my transcripts) I'm going to be like "It's fucking webdesign and multimedia aps. Wjhat the hell does C++ have to do with it? I WANT TO GRADUATE! GRRR!"
Phoemeister: They put you on a waiting list for classes (ACS does, com doesn't make me do this. ACS is stupid bastards) and then notify you when you can sign up. Well, next week is the last week before finals, and I pretty well need to be registered by then.
Wanda: Eeeejits.
Wanda: And I hope you do actually go "grrr"
Phoemeister: Yeah. I just thought of it now. I was like, "and if yelling doesn't work, i want to growl like an animal."

Phoemeister: Have you ever had one of those pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Sarcasmyst: *shudder* no
Sarcasmyst: are they scary?
Phoemeister: Nah. They're fine. I'm having my very first right now. Which is why I brought it up. Anyway, I bought it because I was like, "I remember bringing pbj sandwiches to school when I was little, and the jelly soaked thru the bread in like 2 hours. How can these not be soaked thru? This must be some space age bread or jelly, man!"
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* The bread is secretly plastic.
Phoemeister: Anyway, I'm eating it and I noticed: there are 2 thin layers of P in which the J is safely ensconced, insulating the bread. I was like, "My god! That's genius! I would've never thought of that in a million years!" Anyway, I'm not thinking I'm going to make this a trend, because how lazy are you if you can't make your own PBJ sandwich. People are SO lazy. I mean, me too. But I'm going to make my own PBJ sandwiches.
Sarcasmyst: *laughs*
Sarcasmyst: I'm so jealous...
Sarcasmyst: I TOTALLY am craving PBJ now.
Sarcasmyst: Evil person
Phoemeister: sorry
Sarcasmyst: You are so not. :P
Phoemeister: I just had to share with you the genius of Smuckers
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I guess not :P
Sarcasmyst7: *laughs* wahhhh
Phoemeister: Also funny: on the package it says "Gingham pattern is a trademark of the J.M. Smucker Company."

How can Smuckers own a copyright on Gingham?
Phoemeister: If I wear a gingham dress, are they going to sue me?
Sarcasmyst: lol
Sarcasmyst: Maybe just when it's jam related?
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* so nobody else can make jam in jars that look JUST LIKE THEIRS, eek eek
Sarcasmyst: might be FAKE Smuckers
Phoemeister: Not..... *organ music* FAKE SMUCKERS!
Sarcasmyst: Bum bum BUMMMMMMM.... Oh yes!
Phoemeister: *swoons*
Phoemeister: They should make a horror movie about fake smuckers
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* taking over the world?
Sarcasmyst: sounds like type of squid
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: Well that squid better not be wearing the gingham pattern, or Smuckers(TM) is going to come down on it like a hurricane!

I'm feeling lonely today. I mean, I feel lonely most days. That's why I go home every weekend, despite how lame it is and how I wanted to live in the dorms instead of home in the first place.

It's just that, I've only talked to 2 people all day. And it was briefly, about schoolwork, to a couple of profs. I haven't talked to anyone online, even. Which I admit is sadly probably my main means of social interaction. I just feel especially lonely today. And have a splitting headache.

Oh, good news, though--this weekend I'm going out to dinner with Igraine and the prof from the trip. Actually, Igraine and I went out to dinner with a couple of people from the trip the week before (I forgot to blog it, maybe because I was trying to forget how I fell down in the middle of the restaurant when I was on the way out), and we wanted the prof to come, but he couldn't because he had kidney stones (yes, not only am I blogging my embarrassing bodily functions these days, I'm blogging the embarrassing bodily functions of others). He's a really cool guy, actually. I had issues with grading/teaching methods when I was taking the course, but as a person he's awesome.

I mean, yesterday when we were talking on the phone about when to meet, we ended up getting in an intellectual conver about left brain v right brain. You can't do that with just anyone.

Today I am downloading "Saw Tupac At McDonalds" by Matt's Dad's Basement, so I can satisfy my curiosity about the legions of MDB fans that come to this website looking for it. Yesterday, or the day before, maybe, I downloaded 4 different versions of "The Mighty Quinn." (apparentlly it's been sung by Bob Dylan, The Hollies, Manfred Mann, and the group I was originally looking for, Gary Puckett and the Union Gap). I LOVE the internet.

Anyway, I tried the whole MDB thing eons ago, but couldn't find it. Now I have, but it's hella slow, so I only have like, 1% right now or something.

I'm tired.

Phoemeister's Battle Imp is

Irid

Backstabbing: 8 Dodgin': 10 Guts: 3 Magic Mojo: 9 Smackdown: 5

Will your battle imp beat Phoemeister's? Enter your name and fight.

Evidence of my growing madness: in the absence of paper, I have begun writing not only on my hands, but on my feet. Yes, my feet.

Right now my right foot says:

Sun
CJ's
old hojo
along beltway

and the left says:

crack
12:15

Those notes seem to indicate that I'm the most twisted crack dealer ever.

But I'd say I'm one of the least twisted crack dealers around here, really.

So my TV prod prof puts meaningless trivia questions at the end of his tests for extra credit, right? I mean, I don't mind, because I get them right, so woohoo for me, but it kinda sux to be you if you don't happen to know anything about the moon landing.

Last test, one of the questions was what Istanbul was called before it was called Istanbul. I dutifully wrote down Constantinople. I also really wanted to add in "Byzantium," another previous name for Istanbul, but didn't want to show off.

So I overhear this guy sitting near me say to the prof afterwards, "Did you know it was called Byzantium before Constantinople?"

So of course, to get my two cents in, I'm like, "Actually, I thought it was byzantium in between the time it was Constantinople and when it was Istanbul."

So he explains to me the exact reasons why it was Byzantium before Constantinople.

I fell in love.

You know, I've gotten into several debates with people lately. Political, scientific.... I do it all!

Anyway, I've noticed that I call the person I'm arguing with "Dude." All the time. What is up with that?

Phoe ~ I like my sugar sweet says:
I'm thinking of changing my MSN name to "I think that hunger, war, and death are bringing everybody down." It'll be the next in a series of MSN names that are "highly obvious statements."
Kevin says:
ah
Phoe ~ I like my sugar sweet says:
waht do you think?

long pause

Phoe ~ I like my sugar sweet says:
do you know that the term for potato in french (pomme de terre) means "apple of the earth"?
Kevin says:
I think that I still would like to be in a menage a trois with mila kunis and shannyn sossamon
Phoe ~ I like my sugar sweet says:
That should be your MSN name


Honestly. Out of NOWHERE. And the boy wonders why he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Sister: *points at my flip-flops* Aren't your feet cold?
Me: No. Isn't your...... head cold?
Brother-In-Law: Do your feet have as much hair on them as we have on our heads?
Me: Uh....yes.
Brother-In-Law: Alright, Frodo.

Dude, I've seriously been dissed by Alleywriter for posting a link to that comic. He all says:

It's very sad when someone I've always liked and respected starts using their site to support the craziest, most paranoid and most hateful aspects and pundits of the Left.

Here's what I said to him:

Oh come on. It's a comic man. And it IS true. There ARE people who wave a flag around with no thought in their head whatsoever, and follow Dubya unquestioningly. I like you despite disagreeing with a lot of your political views since ALWAYS, and now I show the slightest bit of mine by linking to a comic I find personally amusing, I'm all the enemy? That's cold, man.

And, he friggin' illustrates the third panel of the very comic he thinks is so wrong: "and almost always include a pronounced aversion to differing points of view."

Or if his gripe was the "terror alert" thing I have on the left, come on! "This is what happens to little girls who chew too much gum" is funny no matter what your political views are.

LOL. It's funny because it's so sadly true :P

I'm feeling loved tonight. Though I somewhat suspect that a couple of these are sarcastic:

Just a fucking glutton for punishment... says:
And you are stunning. Absolutely a lovely person.
Phoe ~ For your abuse but not intended for internal use says:
Awww, thanks

Phoemeister: I'm absolutely a lovely person
Kin: I know you are.
Phoemeister: awwwww!

Ryan says:
so, how's my favorite Phoe in the world?
Phoe ~ For your abuse but not intended for internal use says:
awwww. That's the second time this week I've been told I'm "the good --my real name--"

Wanda Conver II (same disclaimer from before applies)

Phoemeister: most are, anyroad
Phoemeister: anyroad's english. I totally said something englishy
Wanda: Lol - go you!! I love that you're so English-worshipping.
Wanda: It's as if the Boston Tea Party never happened!
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: I have to post that one too now
Wanda: Yay. I'm so proud.
Phoemeister: you should be.
Wanda: Pride really _is_ me sin. It's so British.
Phoemeister: LOL
Wanda: Me = my
Phoemeister: Then I love it! :P
Wanda: Although, saying "is me sin" makes me sound all faux-cockney ala Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: I love it!
Phoemeister: I love Dick van Dyke
Phoemeister: expecially faux cockney dick van dyke
Wanda: I know. He makes Diagnosis Murder!
Phoemeister: If there's anything on earth better than faux cockney dick van dyke, I don't want to know!
Wanda: I LOVE that programme. It's so cheesy it actually rocks.
Wanda: I don't think it's possible!
Phoemeister: True. Faux crime solving doctor Dick van Dyke is almost as good as faux cockney Dick van Dyke
Wanda: ESPECIALLY as his son in the show is his son IRL... and in some episodes they have other members of the van Dyke clan!
Phoemeister: wow, I didn't even know that
Wanda: It's like they're trying to take over the planet... hold on... you don't htink they are, do you?
Wanda: His grandchildren (I presume - they look about that age) are very blonde-haired, blue-eyed aryan types...
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: that wily dick van dyke
Phoemeister: I'm aryan, I could probably be one of his storm troopers
Phoemeister: too bad for YOU, though
Wanda: Yeah - it's totally the truth... and the funniest thing about that is that they guest in a lot of episodes but every time THEY PLAY DIFFERENT PEOPLE... without even ATTEMPTING to change their appearances (the two older guys sometimes have comedy faux facial hair)
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: that
Phoemeister: s the BEST
Wanda: It's hilarious. Especially as they're on 2 channels so you might see them in the wrong order, so you end up seeing two episodes together with the kids (about 13) and you're all "But... isn't she his friend's adopted daughter?"....

This kind of drags on for anyone who's not me or Wanda, but I was too lazy to go thru and cut out the unfunny parts while trying to keep the general thing coherant.

Wanda: Yeah, that's a good point... I've found a catalogue/website that specialise in my sorta size bras. Thing is, they migth be pretty colours and lacy, but they're still HUGE... more like a Victorian governess' outfit than an item of underwear.
Phoemeister: LOL... aw, that's crappy
Phoemeister: I figure I'm not going to get my first date until I'm thirty, and then I'm going to blow it by freaking out, and then not get another one until I'm all old, but by then I'll be all hot because I'll have all my own teeth still because of the braces my mom made me get
Wanda: LOL - you won't...
Phoemeister: have my teeth still? ARGH. Take away all my hope, why don't you?
Wanda: You lucky B-size bastards - you don't even HAVE to wear bras all the time!
Phoemeister: lol
Wanda: Ha ha :oP YOu know I meant you won't have your first date at 30... it'll be waaaaay before then :oP
Phoemeister: I do pretty much. Sometimes even when I sleep, because I forget it's on. It really is quite comfortable
Phoemeister: awww, thanks
Wanda: I sometimes wear a little crop top thing (not underwired, all lycra & elastic type thing) in bed... v comfortable.
Phoemeister: yeah. Elastic is nice. Though I do admit it doesn't give the most support. I probably will be all saggy when I'm old. It'll probably ruin my "good teeth" atvantage
Wanda: Lol - nah... B isn't really an uber-sag-size.
Phoemeister: true. Good teeth still save the day!
Phoemeister: Though actually I think my teeth are moving back to my pre-braces positions. Which annoys me, because braces hurt a lot, and it'll be for nothing now
Wanda: Now... E size - the bastards - are ALREADY. That's prolly the biggest thing I hate about my body. And the most scary thing about even the THOUGHT of getting nekkid with a guy.
Wanda: Wellt hat sucks.
Phoemeister: aww :-(
Wanda: You should hunt down the dentist.
Phoemeister: Yeah. He totally looked just like Bill Clinton. I should've known he wasn't on the level :P
Wanda: Yeah... 19 year old , curly hair, large eyes, saggy boobs... good combo.
Phoemeister: dude, there's totally a website called DoYouHaveHeartburn.com
Wanda: LOL
Wanda: If he looked like Clinton you're lucky you got away with nothing more than teetht hat reposition themselves after a few years!
Phoemeister: dude, you look fine. I wouldn't know about your boobs, but I suspect they look better than you say, because the rest of you looks better than you say
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO. True
Wanda: Damnit - we both know you looked plenty!!
Wanda: But thanks, missy *sniffle*
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: yeah. I did. But I thought it'd be well, wrong, to rub it in your face.
Wanda: And I know it must be tough for you now that you're so far away from my stunning beauty *cough*
Phoemeister: Yeah. I'm wasting away. Even my teeth.
Phoemeister: they're all yellow and stuff
Wanda: No way!!
Wanda: You should find that damn Clinton-look-a-like!
Phoemeister: lol, that's not his fault, really. He was an orthodontist. My regular dentist must pay, though :P
Phoemeister: They're not that yellow. They're just not that white either :P
Wanda: Mine either. I don't think anyone (other than people wth too much money to burn and a penchant for bleach) has _white_ teeth. They look unnatural... and I'll never forget that episode of Friends where Ross has his teeth whitened and they GLOW and then he goes on the date with a girl who has a UV light in her apartment.
Phoemeister: roflmao. Yeah, I agree
Phoemeister: I had a friend who had really white teeth and I got a complex about it, but really my teeth aren't that bad colorwise
Phoemeister: and I've never had a cavity :P
Wanda: Lucky you.
Phoemeister: No, it was hard work and dedication!

Yeah, lucky :P
Phoemeister: I never floss, and I only brush like, once a day, usually
Wanda: Damn you.
Wanda: I brush twice a day and my teeth are crap.
Phoemeister: I'm totally going to mac on all the guys in the old folks home
Wanda: Don't floss though... bleeding gums, mmmmm
Wanda: LOL - you ARE.
Phoemeister: awww. I think sometimes it just depends on the teeth you get hereditary-like
Phoemeister: :P Thanks for the confidence
Phoemeister: Yeah, it makes me bleed too. And I'm lazy
Wanda: Lol, yeah, that too!
Wanda: Speaking of laziness... leg-shaving!! Bleh.
Phoemeister: oh, totally
Phoemeister: last year I decided I was going to quit for good. Not that I did it that often anyway
Wanda: I'm of the shave when I'm going o wear a skirt/dress/shorts school of leg-epilation. And sometimes in between just so they don't get too yeti-like