BEST E-MAIL EVER (from my sister)
Hey, I had a weird dream last night. I don't remember all the details, but...
you were pregnant and the father was the quarterback for the ISU football team (I don't even know his name). You were going to go tell him. But, the doctors were worried that you'd have trouble being pregnant because of all your stomach problems.
Weird, huh?
Friday, December 27, 2002
dude, the Strokes are really reminding me of Wanda.
That's part of the reason I didn't get the album immediately after I came back from the trip. Getting a CD and playing it over and over sort of dilutes the memories you have tied up in it.
But it just....floods back.
Like this conversation:
Wanda: *talking to a particularly strange/somewhat pervy guy named Kevin on the internet* Phoe's finally here!
Me: *reading the title of a Bloodhound Gang album of Wanda's* Hooray for boobies!
Kevin: How is she?
Wanda: She just said, "Hooray for boobies!"
Okay....after typing that out, it kind of became one of those "you had to have been there" things.
But I remember so many other things.... The way Wanda sung along to music, especially the lines "and I don't know why!" "Go go go go!" "I took too many varieties," and various Presidents songs. Deciding someone should make a music video with dorks like us lip synching to the song, complete with air guitar, headbanging, fake mess ups and cursing. Laying on her bed, browsing "The Mullet: Haircut of the Gods" and various and sundry Red Dwarf books. Having English Big Brother explained to me. My first taste of Fanta. Her mother, like all friends' mothers I've ever met, desperately trying to find something to make that I'll eat. My first chuckle at dirty King Adora lyrics. Naming Kevin "boll weevil." Her brooklyn accent "coffee." Showing her how to do "libary" hick-like, and her doing it southern belle-like. Sharing my Forrest Gump impression, Bobby's World's Mom impression, her sharing "coun'ry" english accent and welsh accent. Her disturbing enjoyment of Hello Kitty. Clothes shopping. Feeling like a jackass when confronted with my inability to flush low pressure English toilets. Throwing up in one of said toilets as my very first act at her house. Listening to No Doubt, Offspring, and REM in the family car. Foriegn cows. The first time she proudly buffed her nails on her shirt after reading *buffs nails proudly* on the AIM screen from her for years. Seeing my first cathedral. Camden market--competes with St. Paul's cathedral for my best english memory. The sights, the smells--the sounds especially. Foreign, Indian-sounding music coming out of a lot of stalls. Nirvana in one stall. Paperback writer, just to make the experience authentically english, from another. One store playing Offspring's "Americana." No crappy pop music whatsoever. The first sight of my Mulletproof T-shirt. Ordering water at pizza hut to try and make it cheaper on Wanda's mom, ending up with a 3 pound bottle of water and a confusing discussion with the waitress about still vs. sparkling, and what plain cheese pizza is called. Forbidden Planet, in which we decided Kevin from up above would wet himself and die if he ever visited, hell, I almost did so, it was that great. We went twice. I bought a couple books--I wanted to buy more. And I wanted to buy all their videos, but took none because of the incompatibility of british vcr's. My first tube ride. That guy on the bus who felt compelled to list out everything he knew about America to me. Talking while waiting for the bus. Discussing how stressed out some woman on the PA at heathrow sounded. Telling her that I was going to buy her a huge bag of jerky at O'Hare before I remembered she was vegetarian. The first time I saw her, not sure if it was her, trying not to freak her out if it actually was someone else. Border's books, where I bought even more. The place was so huge that they had the most minute categories. Reading Wanda's animal avatars book, and deciding the most accurate avatar was her ex's, the description being "unintelligent copying of what others have to say." Buying King Adora at a music store, listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers in another music store, discussing a crush she had on a music store clerk at yet another music store. Calling her up in the distinctive red telephone booths, or getting a call from her in the common area, babbling on and on about what I've seen, the other members of my group, whining about mumbler. Listening to the bloodhound gang. Being frightened that we had ran out of things to talk about, being reassured that "the british don't feel compelled to talk all the time." This great bookstore at St. Albans. A great knicknack store at st albans. Making Wanda find a bathroom for me at St. Albans, ending up in this place with (literally) tracing paper for toilet paper. Having lunch in a cobblestoney courtyard at St. Albans, being blown away at how my coke can has ads for World Cup tickets instead of Six Flags tickets. A burning hot day prowling around Covent Garden. Watching Spiderman on the hugest screen I've ever watched a movie on. Watching Wayne's World for the first time ever at her house, complete with Bohemian Rhapsody intro. Painting our nails together. The drunk people outside my window that one night. Being excited by seeing foreign "capri-sonne" in the grocery store on her block. Asking her the names of the species of english trees as we passed them. Her confession that she presses the buttons to make the lights turn red even when there's no cars around in hopes that it screws over a car that comes later. Passing through Hatfield on the bus, and having it hit me that it's the "Shatfield" she's always talking about.
Reading this back, I sound very stalkeresque. Actually, I wrote them down, because I don't want to forget them when The Strokes cease to evoke these memories. Especially since Wanda's too busy for me now that she's in college, and though we talked about it at one time: I would probably never be able to host her the way she did me. And Talia's too busy for me now that she has her man. My high school friends are gone, my best friend of my college years hates me..... I've been feeling pretty lonely.
That's part of the reason I didn't get the album immediately after I came back from the trip. Getting a CD and playing it over and over sort of dilutes the memories you have tied up in it.
But it just....floods back.
Like this conversation:
Wanda: *talking to a particularly strange/somewhat pervy guy named Kevin on the internet* Phoe's finally here!
Me: *reading the title of a Bloodhound Gang album of Wanda's* Hooray for boobies!
Kevin: How is she?
Wanda: She just said, "Hooray for boobies!"
Okay....after typing that out, it kind of became one of those "you had to have been there" things.
But I remember so many other things.... The way Wanda sung along to music, especially the lines "and I don't know why!" "Go go go go!" "I took too many varieties," and various Presidents songs. Deciding someone should make a music video with dorks like us lip synching to the song, complete with air guitar, headbanging, fake mess ups and cursing. Laying on her bed, browsing "The Mullet: Haircut of the Gods" and various and sundry Red Dwarf books. Having English Big Brother explained to me. My first taste of Fanta. Her mother, like all friends' mothers I've ever met, desperately trying to find something to make that I'll eat. My first chuckle at dirty King Adora lyrics. Naming Kevin "boll weevil." Her brooklyn accent "coffee." Showing her how to do "libary" hick-like, and her doing it southern belle-like. Sharing my Forrest Gump impression, Bobby's World's Mom impression, her sharing "coun'ry" english accent and welsh accent. Her disturbing enjoyment of Hello Kitty. Clothes shopping. Feeling like a jackass when confronted with my inability to flush low pressure English toilets. Throwing up in one of said toilets as my very first act at her house. Listening to No Doubt, Offspring, and REM in the family car. Foriegn cows. The first time she proudly buffed her nails on her shirt after reading *buffs nails proudly* on the AIM screen from her for years. Seeing my first cathedral. Camden market--competes with St. Paul's cathedral for my best english memory. The sights, the smells--the sounds especially. Foreign, Indian-sounding music coming out of a lot of stalls. Nirvana in one stall. Paperback writer, just to make the experience authentically english, from another. One store playing Offspring's "Americana." No crappy pop music whatsoever. The first sight of my Mulletproof T-shirt. Ordering water at pizza hut to try and make it cheaper on Wanda's mom, ending up with a 3 pound bottle of water and a confusing discussion with the waitress about still vs. sparkling, and what plain cheese pizza is called. Forbidden Planet, in which we decided Kevin from up above would wet himself and die if he ever visited, hell, I almost did so, it was that great. We went twice. I bought a couple books--I wanted to buy more. And I wanted to buy all their videos, but took none because of the incompatibility of british vcr's. My first tube ride. That guy on the bus who felt compelled to list out everything he knew about America to me. Talking while waiting for the bus. Discussing how stressed out some woman on the PA at heathrow sounded. Telling her that I was going to buy her a huge bag of jerky at O'Hare before I remembered she was vegetarian. The first time I saw her, not sure if it was her, trying not to freak her out if it actually was someone else. Border's books, where I bought even more. The place was so huge that they had the most minute categories. Reading Wanda's animal avatars book, and deciding the most accurate avatar was her ex's, the description being "unintelligent copying of what others have to say." Buying King Adora at a music store, listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers in another music store, discussing a crush she had on a music store clerk at yet another music store. Calling her up in the distinctive red telephone booths, or getting a call from her in the common area, babbling on and on about what I've seen, the other members of my group, whining about mumbler. Listening to the bloodhound gang. Being frightened that we had ran out of things to talk about, being reassured that "the british don't feel compelled to talk all the time." This great bookstore at St. Albans. A great knicknack store at st albans. Making Wanda find a bathroom for me at St. Albans, ending up in this place with (literally) tracing paper for toilet paper. Having lunch in a cobblestoney courtyard at St. Albans, being blown away at how my coke can has ads for World Cup tickets instead of Six Flags tickets. A burning hot day prowling around Covent Garden. Watching Spiderman on the hugest screen I've ever watched a movie on. Watching Wayne's World for the first time ever at her house, complete with Bohemian Rhapsody intro. Painting our nails together. The drunk people outside my window that one night. Being excited by seeing foreign "capri-sonne" in the grocery store on her block. Asking her the names of the species of english trees as we passed them. Her confession that she presses the buttons to make the lights turn red even when there's no cars around in hopes that it screws over a car that comes later. Passing through Hatfield on the bus, and having it hit me that it's the "Shatfield" she's always talking about.
Reading this back, I sound very stalkeresque. Actually, I wrote them down, because I don't want to forget them when The Strokes cease to evoke these memories. Especially since Wanda's too busy for me now that she's in college, and though we talked about it at one time: I would probably never be able to host her the way she did me. And Talia's too busy for me now that she has her man. My high school friends are gone, my best friend of my college years hates me..... I've been feeling pretty lonely.
Thursday, December 26, 2002
I've been dreaming a lot lately. Last night I had a dream where I tried to explain to Wanda why I have five cases (less now, I actually bought all of this some time ago) of Fanta but don't want to drink it. The reason is that I fell in love with Fanta when I was in England, so when there was this sale on it, where you had to buy five cases to get the discount, I authorized my mom to go and get it. Unfortunately, when I opened my first can, prepared to be taken into a fizzy orange paradise, I discovered American Fanta tastes like every other crappy orange soda I've ever tasted (day glo orange, too sugary) as opposed to British Fanta which is as removed from regular orange soda as grape soda is from sparkling grape juice. For some reason, Wanda couldn't understand this, and I kept having to explain. I have no idea why I dreamed about this, the whole Fanta-buying disappointment happened in August or September.
Anyway, the main reason I got on just now is to bitch about my mother, as usual. I mean, yesterday was great. My family always seems to pull it together for holidays. I just wonder why we can't always behave. Anyway, she's all upset today because she feels that my sister snubbed her by returning the calendar mom got her, and keeping the calendar her mother-in-law got her. Mom especially feels snubbed because it is a tradition that she gets us each a calendar every year. My sis's excuse for returning hers and not her mother-in-law's (which is probably true) is that she got that calendar a day earlier than Mom's, and started writing in it. Mom feels that this is a dumb excuse because my sister knows that Mom gets her a calendar every year. This situation is further inflamed by the fact that mom hates my sis's mother-in-law with the fire from a thousand suns. The hate is pretty much caused by jealousy ("she's trying to steal her from me!"), and a few other "snubs" that the mother-in-law supposedly gave Mom, that are pretty much dumb.
See, it all boils down to this: every time anyone does anything stupid, mom views it not as stupid, but as a malicious effort to make her feel bad. The mother-in-law didn't offer to send any cake home with us after some dumb party they both helped at, she must have done it on purpose. My sister returns her calendar, she must have done it on purpose because she likes her mother in law better than mom. etc. so on.
Anyway, mom's being unbearable about the whole thing. And I hate it when she does stuff like that to my sister, because I know how it feels to have her doing stuff like that to me. So I sort of took up my sister's side (which I shouldn't, because no one in the damn family ever takes my side, they're too concerned about mom getting mad at them), and now she's all guilting me out. Sometimes I just want to smack the woman.
Also: Note to self: If and when you ever find a boyfriend, never give the slightest indication of liking his mom around mom.
Second note to self: Hold off on boyfriend meeting mom until you have him firmly in the bag. If he meets mom too soon, he'll be likely to realize that 1) if he marries me, he'll automatically get the mother in law from hell 2) I might turn into her some day, and run.
Third note to self: get a boyfriend who faithfully promises to bitch-slap me every time I say something mom-esque, as a measure to prevent my turning into mom.
Anyway, the main reason I got on just now is to bitch about my mother, as usual. I mean, yesterday was great. My family always seems to pull it together for holidays. I just wonder why we can't always behave. Anyway, she's all upset today because she feels that my sister snubbed her by returning the calendar mom got her, and keeping the calendar her mother-in-law got her. Mom especially feels snubbed because it is a tradition that she gets us each a calendar every year. My sis's excuse for returning hers and not her mother-in-law's (which is probably true) is that she got that calendar a day earlier than Mom's, and started writing in it. Mom feels that this is a dumb excuse because my sister knows that Mom gets her a calendar every year. This situation is further inflamed by the fact that mom hates my sis's mother-in-law with the fire from a thousand suns. The hate is pretty much caused by jealousy ("she's trying to steal her from me!"), and a few other "snubs" that the mother-in-law supposedly gave Mom, that are pretty much dumb.
See, it all boils down to this: every time anyone does anything stupid, mom views it not as stupid, but as a malicious effort to make her feel bad. The mother-in-law didn't offer to send any cake home with us after some dumb party they both helped at, she must have done it on purpose. My sister returns her calendar, she must have done it on purpose because she likes her mother in law better than mom. etc. so on.
Anyway, mom's being unbearable about the whole thing. And I hate it when she does stuff like that to my sister, because I know how it feels to have her doing stuff like that to me. So I sort of took up my sister's side (which I shouldn't, because no one in the damn family ever takes my side, they're too concerned about mom getting mad at them), and now she's all guilting me out. Sometimes I just want to smack the woman.
Also: Note to self: If and when you ever find a boyfriend, never give the slightest indication of liking his mom around mom.
Second note to self: Hold off on boyfriend meeting mom until you have him firmly in the bag. If he meets mom too soon, he'll be likely to realize that 1) if he marries me, he'll automatically get the mother in law from hell 2) I might turn into her some day, and run.
Third note to self: get a boyfriend who faithfully promises to bitch-slap me every time I say something mom-esque, as a measure to prevent my turning into mom.
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
I amend the previous post. Playing in teams makes The Game a lot less satanic than playing individually against each other. My sister and dad played against me and my brother-in-law (I called him as a teammate the minute he walked in the door because the man is a walking sports encyclopedia, which is my worst point). We were winning for awhile, but my Dad and Sis closed the gap and won before us. And this all happened in an hour or less, one fourth of the time it took last night.
Besides IBS, Christmas has been pretty good this year. We bonded, etc. And materialist/capitalist pig that I am, I have to mention that I got quite a lot of good schtuff. Right now: I'm listening to my new The Strokes Is This It? CD. It reminds me of Wanda, because we listened to her copy of it over and over when I was there. I haven't talked to her in awhile, so: If you read this, Merry Christmas, ho! Or solstice, anyway. But I bet you still celebrate Christmas secularly...... so..... I guess I didn't have a point, there.
And Feliz Navidad to everyone else. Because I really like that song, especially the Veggie Tales version, which includes a tuba solo, and a snappy bit of chicken dance tune amongst the action.
Besides IBS, Christmas has been pretty good this year. We bonded, etc. And materialist/capitalist pig that I am, I have to mention that I got quite a lot of good schtuff. Right now: I'm listening to my new The Strokes Is This It? CD. It reminds me of Wanda, because we listened to her copy of it over and over when I was there. I haven't talked to her in awhile, so: If you read this, Merry Christmas, ho! Or solstice, anyway. But I bet you still celebrate Christmas secularly...... so..... I guess I didn't have a point, there.
And Feliz Navidad to everyone else. Because I really like that song, especially the Veggie Tales version, which includes a tuba solo, and a snappy bit of chicken dance tune amongst the action.
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
Trivial Pursuit 20th anniversary edition is The Devil.1
For Christmas Eve, I always get to open one present, and the present I opened was the aforementioned Game (if you say the name outright, it practically gives a demon a stamped invitation to steal your very soul, so from now on: it shall be referred to as The Game).
I asked for The Game because my Dad always smokes me at regular TP. I figure this is because regular TP is always asking these dumb questions, like about movies from 30 years ago, putting me at a disadvantage to people who were alive 30 years ago. I figure The Game remedies this, because it's about the last 20 years: all time I've been alive. Sure, I'm a bit fuzzy on the Reagan years, seeing as how I was an infant, but still, a mighty leveler.
So I opened The Game, and three and a half hours later2--my mom still has no pieces. She starts rampantly cheating, which I, frankly, encourage. I myself--have three pieces, and eventually start cheating. My Dad has all pieces, but can't win, even with us letting him pick whatever he wants when he gets to the center. Mom won't let him really cheat (which I suggested, to end the game sooner) because he always beats us at Trivial Pursuit, and she gets tired of it.
After about four hours2, my Dad just leaves, and Mom and I stop playing.
I have to wonder how regular people play this game. I am not kidding when I say my family is Trivia GODS. I am a master of useless information. I used to compete in Scholastic Bowl (jeopardy-esque game), I was literally the best player on my school's team, and had to be in the top twenty in our region. And my Dad is so good at trivia that it makes me look like a moron, trivia-wise. My mom is rairly decent at trivia, too3. If we can't get this game played in four hours, even with cheating, what do people with actual lives do?
Though--I grudgingly admit to some good points to The Game:
1) After two or three hours of The Game, my Mom and I got to that point where EVERYTHING seems hilariously funny. We laughed and laughed, and laughed some more. My sides hurt. Did you know Ronald Reagan used to call his wife "Nancy Pants"? Good stuff.
2) I get the feeling it would be a really fun game to play while drunk, drinking enhancing the feelings mentioned in point 1. You could probably even make it into a drinking game. "Do a shot every time they mention one of the Reagans, Madonna, or one of the Collins sisters." and you would be drunk pretty quickly. Damn you Satan, drawing us nearer to liquor using Trivial Pursuit.
Otherwise, Christmas Eve: Pretty good. Dad and I had lunch at Pizza Hut, and I applied for summer work at his company. Yea, summer work. I don't know if I want to work for a company so anal that it makes you apply for summer work in the middle of work. Well, actually I do. I'm poor. And it would probably be a good job.
We also had Fondue (the version where you dip things in hot grease--my arteries are sad, but I am happy) for dinner. We actually hadn't had fondue for several years, but I begged my mom for it, so she made it.
_______________
1 Well, really all Trivial Pursuit is the Devil. I mean, there's some law that someone else always gets all the questions you know go to someone else. This law even applies against the people you play with. So you can't get through the game without hearing (and probably saying it yourself, though you KNOW you don't want to say it, because you say it every damn time you play the game and have to hear others say it every damn time you play the game)
"You get all the good questions!" "Why can't I get any good questions?" "Someone else always gets the questions I know. Yet, this is the game my family plays most often, because it kind of sucks the least of most of our other games.
2 This includes a brief pie break
3 Though I was damned shocked to learn that neither of them had any idea who Paula Jones is. Next thing you know, they'll forget about Elian Gonzales or Enron or something.
For Christmas Eve, I always get to open one present, and the present I opened was the aforementioned Game (if you say the name outright, it practically gives a demon a stamped invitation to steal your very soul, so from now on: it shall be referred to as The Game).
I asked for The Game because my Dad always smokes me at regular TP. I figure this is because regular TP is always asking these dumb questions, like about movies from 30 years ago, putting me at a disadvantage to people who were alive 30 years ago. I figure The Game remedies this, because it's about the last 20 years: all time I've been alive. Sure, I'm a bit fuzzy on the Reagan years, seeing as how I was an infant, but still, a mighty leveler.
So I opened The Game, and three and a half hours later2--my mom still has no pieces. She starts rampantly cheating, which I, frankly, encourage. I myself--have three pieces, and eventually start cheating. My Dad has all pieces, but can't win, even with us letting him pick whatever he wants when he gets to the center. Mom won't let him really cheat (which I suggested, to end the game sooner) because he always beats us at Trivial Pursuit, and she gets tired of it.
After about four hours2, my Dad just leaves, and Mom and I stop playing.
I have to wonder how regular people play this game. I am not kidding when I say my family is Trivia GODS. I am a master of useless information. I used to compete in Scholastic Bowl (jeopardy-esque game), I was literally the best player on my school's team, and had to be in the top twenty in our region. And my Dad is so good at trivia that it makes me look like a moron, trivia-wise. My mom is rairly decent at trivia, too3. If we can't get this game played in four hours, even with cheating, what do people with actual lives do?
Though--I grudgingly admit to some good points to The Game:
1) After two or three hours of The Game, my Mom and I got to that point where EVERYTHING seems hilariously funny. We laughed and laughed, and laughed some more. My sides hurt. Did you know Ronald Reagan used to call his wife "Nancy Pants"? Good stuff.
2) I get the feeling it would be a really fun game to play while drunk, drinking enhancing the feelings mentioned in point 1. You could probably even make it into a drinking game. "Do a shot every time they mention one of the Reagans, Madonna, or one of the Collins sisters." and you would be drunk pretty quickly. Damn you Satan, drawing us nearer to liquor using Trivial Pursuit.
Otherwise, Christmas Eve: Pretty good. Dad and I had lunch at Pizza Hut, and I applied for summer work at his company. Yea, summer work. I don't know if I want to work for a company so anal that it makes you apply for summer work in the middle of work. Well, actually I do. I'm poor. And it would probably be a good job.
We also had Fondue (the version where you dip things in hot grease--my arteries are sad, but I am happy) for dinner. We actually hadn't had fondue for several years, but I begged my mom for it, so she made it.
_______________
1 Well, really all Trivial Pursuit is the Devil. I mean, there's some law that someone else always gets all the questions you know go to someone else. This law even applies against the people you play with. So you can't get through the game without hearing (and probably saying it yourself, though you KNOW you don't want to say it, because you say it every damn time you play the game and have to hear others say it every damn time you play the game)
"You get all the good questions!" "Why can't I get any good questions?" "Someone else always gets the questions I know. Yet, this is the game my family plays most often, because it kind of sucks the least of most of our other games.
2 This includes a brief pie break
3 Though I was damned shocked to learn that neither of them had any idea who Paula Jones is. Next thing you know, they'll forget about Elian Gonzales or Enron or something.
Monday, December 23, 2002
I had this dream the other night that I fell in love with this guy who looked exactly like Elijah Wood, only he wasn't Elijah Wood. And he had all these friends who looked down on me, and he gave them up for me. Even the one that was a transvestite. And then we went swimming, and discussed how great this one type of cloth was.
My dreams usually have a lot of weird little details like that.
I had another dream last night, that didn't really have all the weirdness, where Ed from the England trip and I were in love. It was sort of weird, in that I've given up being friends with Ed, much less anything further.
Anyway, I find these dreams strange. I don't usually have love dreams (or even sex dreams, I don't think I've ever even kissed anyone in a dream. Probably because not even my subconcious could fabricate a proper kiss, seeing as how i'm a loser 20 year old who has never been out on a date), and I hadn't really thought of Ed in a long while. Though, Elijah can probably be explained by my eagerness to see The Two Towers. I mean, I had a dream where I was riding on the subway with Sir Ian McKellan the night after I saw the first trailer for the movie.
Anyway, it's also depressing. For certain reasons (pretty much mentioned up above) it is agonizingly depressing to wake up all alone after these dreams.
Oh, and my mom is getting on my nerves. She was really nice to me at first, (in part, I think, because I am so sick) but now she has the proverbial cow at the slightest things.
And being sick sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. Tonight, pray to God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Spiderman, whoever you worship and be like, "Thank you for not making me as sick as this girl. And, if you have energy left over after preventing these problems in me, please cure hers. Good day."
I added "good day" at the end of that because I was in a very Paul Harvey mood. Does anyone else remember Paul Harvey? "And that's the rest of the story. I'm Paul Harvey. Good day."
My dreams usually have a lot of weird little details like that.
I had another dream last night, that didn't really have all the weirdness, where Ed from the England trip and I were in love. It was sort of weird, in that I've given up being friends with Ed, much less anything further.
Anyway, I find these dreams strange. I don't usually have love dreams (or even sex dreams, I don't think I've ever even kissed anyone in a dream. Probably because not even my subconcious could fabricate a proper kiss, seeing as how i'm a loser 20 year old who has never been out on a date), and I hadn't really thought of Ed in a long while. Though, Elijah can probably be explained by my eagerness to see The Two Towers. I mean, I had a dream where I was riding on the subway with Sir Ian McKellan the night after I saw the first trailer for the movie.
Anyway, it's also depressing. For certain reasons (pretty much mentioned up above) it is agonizingly depressing to wake up all alone after these dreams.
Oh, and my mom is getting on my nerves. She was really nice to me at first, (in part, I think, because I am so sick) but now she has the proverbial cow at the slightest things.
And being sick sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. Tonight, pray to God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Spiderman, whoever you worship and be like, "Thank you for not making me as sick as this girl. And, if you have energy left over after preventing these problems in me, please cure hers. Good day."
I added "good day" at the end of that because I was in a very Paul Harvey mood. Does anyone else remember Paul Harvey? "And that's the rest of the story. I'm Paul Harvey. Good day."
Thursday, December 19, 2002
I mention the Hannukah song once and I get 40 bazillion hits for it.
Then, I was feeling rather wholesome, because I got hits for "spongebob bedsheets" and "Paul Bunion Disney." The latter especially tickles me, as I'm pretty sure I'm the only one on this planet who has any idea what I'm talking about. The former kind of annoys me because I mention Spongebob once, to make fun of some cd featuring him on Ebay, and now I get wall to wall hits on it. (though I realize mentioning it again now only worsens it :P)
Then, I realized I am all about celebrity "pron" because I got hits for: Matt Damon Naked, Jude Law Naked, and (disturbingly) Billy Corgan naked.
also: someone wanting to know "suicide how to hang yourself properly" found me.
Logs are fun.
Then, I was feeling rather wholesome, because I got hits for "spongebob bedsheets" and "Paul Bunion Disney." The latter especially tickles me, as I'm pretty sure I'm the only one on this planet who has any idea what I'm talking about. The former kind of annoys me because I mention Spongebob once, to make fun of some cd featuring him on Ebay, and now I get wall to wall hits on it. (though I realize mentioning it again now only worsens it :P)
Then, I realized I am all about celebrity "pron" because I got hits for: Matt Damon Naked, Jude Law Naked, and (disturbingly) Billy Corgan naked.
also: someone wanting to know "suicide how to hang yourself properly" found me.
Logs are fun.
Monday, December 16, 2002
I went to have lunch with my sister at work today, it was nice. I think she appreciates my visits--mom doesn't visit her ever.
Speaking of my mom--Annoying lately. Talking to EVERYONE SHE KNOWS on the phone, telling them the exact colonoscopy (read: shoving a scope up my ass after shoving lots of laxatives down my throat) procedure. When I told her I don't want to have to hear/think about it until time. I mean, she doesn't even bother to go into another room, where I can't hear her. It annoys me, and I also have to wonder if all of these people want to know every damn detail of the procedure. And she always manages to get in her (seemingly pre-rehearsed) spiel how she's so great because they were going to make me have the procedure the day after christmas (meaning I'd have to start on the laxatives ON Christmas) but she made them wait until January 2. It was nice of her, but some of the niceness is being taken out by the fact that she's bragging to everyone about how nice she is.
Oh, here is something nice she did for me lately: She got me this really nice chapstick. I actually really liked it that she did this, because it was sort of a "I thought of you while I was out shopping/just because" gift. I like those more than stuff like christmas, because even though "just because" gifts are sort of rinky-dink, they're nice because they're unexpected, and it lets you know you're not forgotten.
Oh, and I got to see Star Trek: Nemesis yesterday. ***Spoilers Follow***
I liked it, except for the whole Data thing. If he was dead for good, I'd be REALLY pissed, as it is I'm kind of annoyed because I know that they're going to rig B4 somehow to be him later. This annoys me because 1) Earlier on in the movie, Data himself is all "B4 and I are not the same, to reassure Picard of his personal identity when confronted with his clone. 2) It's a dumb plot twist because everyone knows that they're going to rig B4 into Data. 3) It's been done. They've already explored the whole "die and then come back" thing with Spock. Why attempt to re-do it?
Yes, I know, I am such a star trek nerd. Oh well :P
Speaking of my mom--Annoying lately. Talking to EVERYONE SHE KNOWS on the phone, telling them the exact colonoscopy (read: shoving a scope up my ass after shoving lots of laxatives down my throat) procedure. When I told her I don't want to have to hear/think about it until time. I mean, she doesn't even bother to go into another room, where I can't hear her. It annoys me, and I also have to wonder if all of these people want to know every damn detail of the procedure. And she always manages to get in her (seemingly pre-rehearsed) spiel how she's so great because they were going to make me have the procedure the day after christmas (meaning I'd have to start on the laxatives ON Christmas) but she made them wait until January 2. It was nice of her, but some of the niceness is being taken out by the fact that she's bragging to everyone about how nice she is.
Oh, here is something nice she did for me lately: She got me this really nice chapstick. I actually really liked it that she did this, because it was sort of a "I thought of you while I was out shopping/just because" gift. I like those more than stuff like christmas, because even though "just because" gifts are sort of rinky-dink, they're nice because they're unexpected, and it lets you know you're not forgotten.
Oh, and I got to see Star Trek: Nemesis yesterday. ***Spoilers Follow***
I liked it, except for the whole Data thing. If he was dead for good, I'd be REALLY pissed, as it is I'm kind of annoyed because I know that they're going to rig B4 somehow to be him later. This annoys me because 1) Earlier on in the movie, Data himself is all "B4 and I are not the same, to reassure Picard of his personal identity when confronted with his clone. 2) It's a dumb plot twist because everyone knows that they're going to rig B4 into Data. 3) It's been done. They've already explored the whole "die and then come back" thing with Spock. Why attempt to re-do it?
Yes, I know, I am such a star trek nerd. Oh well :P
Sunday, December 15, 2002
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Oh, here is something cool, I found (yet another) great online comic to follow. It kind of reminds me of mine, only mine aren't as good.
Stanky Water
Stanky Water
Life sucks.
I went to the digestive specialist (or whatever they call those people) today. What did I learn?
As mumbler would say, "A whole lot of nothing." Basically, they're going to scope me. And if I were more Irish, I could have some allergy to grain. Only I'm of german heritage. So....yea.
Anyway, I really don't want to have the scope, AND he won't give me any medicine until after I get scoped AND I can't get scoped until January 2. Happy New Year to me.
I went to the digestive specialist (or whatever they call those people) today. What did I learn?
As mumbler would say, "A whole lot of nothing." Basically, they're going to scope me. And if I were more Irish, I could have some allergy to grain. Only I'm of german heritage. So....yea.
Anyway, I really don't want to have the scope, AND he won't give me any medicine until after I get scoped AND I can't get scoped until January 2. Happy New Year to me.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Oh, and by the way, I OWN the Anthropology Final I just took. It's my bitch! I rule! *manly grunting and such**
I'm pretty sure the com theory final that I hie myself away to in less than a half hour will kill me though. Mainly because I skipped the last two class periods and never read the book and I haven't studied. But that's my fault. Except for the skipping. That, I blame on the chronic diahrea. But I could've popped a book at some point, certainly.
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* Women can manly grunt too. Because I say so
I'm pretty sure the com theory final that I hie myself away to in less than a half hour will kill me though. Mainly because I skipped the last two class periods and never read the book and I haven't studied. But that's my fault. Except for the skipping. That, I blame on the chronic diahrea. But I could've popped a book at some point, certainly.
_______
* Women can manly grunt too. Because I say so
Battleship
This is my proud, crowning achievement. Yes, a rinky-dink version of the game battleship that I wrote for class.
Someday I plan to change "Darn it, you sunk my cruiser" to "Several of my relatives were on that cruiser! I'm going to hunt you down and kill you and everything you hold dear."
Someday.
This is my proud, crowning achievement. Yes, a rinky-dink version of the game battleship that I wrote for class.
Someday I plan to change "Darn it, you sunk my cruiser" to "Several of my relatives were on that cruiser! I'm going to hunt you down and kill you and everything you hold dear."
Someday.
Friday, December 06, 2002
I am sick, sick, sick as a dog. The night before last, I had to get up and go to the toilet at least 4 times. And to add insult to injury, I had Adam Sandler's Hannukah song in my head EVERY damn time.* And that's probably the least of my problems. I hope I can sit through my finals (next week) all the way. I'm finally seeing the stupid stomach doctor who wants to scope me next week after finals, i hope he can help.
Last night my mom and I bought off some of my balance. For someone who started out so hostile to the idea, she LOVES it now, she keeps pressing me to do more, though I'm a little worried that if we keep up the spending, I'll not have enough to last me out till the very end. One nice thing was that afterwards we went out to eat. I had steak. I decided that I'd rather have steak make me feel horrible all night than dining center food.
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* Usually I like the Hannukah Song, but you can't imagine how annoying it is when you're in pain, spending seemingly hours on the toilet. Especially since I didn't have the whole song in my head, just the part about Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock OVER and OVER. Sidenote about the Hannukah Song--our radio tries to make it so you can't hear "marijuanica." That makes me laugh. But what makes me laugh more is the fact that the bluring thing they usually do, switched "Marijuanica" to "Marijuana." HONEST. They are trying to make it so little kids don't here "marijuanica" and they end up playing "marijuana." Ha ha.
Last night my mom and I bought off some of my balance. For someone who started out so hostile to the idea, she LOVES it now, she keeps pressing me to do more, though I'm a little worried that if we keep up the spending, I'll not have enough to last me out till the very end. One nice thing was that afterwards we went out to eat. I had steak. I decided that I'd rather have steak make me feel horrible all night than dining center food.
__________________
* Usually I like the Hannukah Song, but you can't imagine how annoying it is when you're in pain, spending seemingly hours on the toilet. Especially since I didn't have the whole song in my head, just the part about Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock OVER and OVER. Sidenote about the Hannukah Song--our radio tries to make it so you can't hear "marijuanica." That makes me laugh. But what makes me laugh more is the fact that the bluring thing they usually do, switched "Marijuanica" to "Marijuana." HONEST. They are trying to make it so little kids don't here "marijuanica" and they end up playing "marijuana." Ha ha.
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
I've had a pretty bad few days. Every spare minute of my time has been spent either programming or on the toilet. That's like, my hell. My program is pissing me off, and my stomach's killing me. And, annoyingly, I'm still hungry, so I end up eating, which I hate because I know every bite I take is going to come out again the hard way.
Today, bad sleep-wise as well. Not only did I have to get up for an IBS toilet stop, but I was woke up twice by these stupid ISU landscaping vehicles that beep REALLY loudly when they back up, and some nut called me twice before I disconnected the phone. The nut couuuld be my mom, because she doesn't like leaving a message on my machine, but she knows by now that I screen, so she probably would say something, at least. So... that's five wake ups in all.
Oh, and sidenote, this says we're going to switch to colored money. This pisses me off because I don't want any wussy european-like colored money. I want my greenback. And, this is the part I object more to, they just changed our money not too long ago. The guys got bigger heads. It's going to take millions of dollars to put in the color. It took millions of dollars to give them big heads. Why couldn't they have just done both at once, it would've been tremendously cheaper. And why DO they spend so much money on changing our money? It took millions of dollars to make that stupid Sacajawea(I know I can't spell it) dollar, and no one uses it anyway. Plus, they mess up vending machines. It took millions of dollars for those stupid state quarters, and they aren't even properly circulating because everyone's collecting them. What's the damn point? I want my tax money to actually HELP PEOPLE rather than go into constantly re-designing our money.
Today, bad sleep-wise as well. Not only did I have to get up for an IBS toilet stop, but I was woke up twice by these stupid ISU landscaping vehicles that beep REALLY loudly when they back up, and some nut called me twice before I disconnected the phone. The nut couuuld be my mom, because she doesn't like leaving a message on my machine, but she knows by now that I screen, so she probably would say something, at least. So... that's five wake ups in all.
Oh, and sidenote, this says we're going to switch to colored money. This pisses me off because I don't want any wussy european-like colored money. I want my greenback. And, this is the part I object more to, they just changed our money not too long ago. The guys got bigger heads. It's going to take millions of dollars to put in the color. It took millions of dollars to give them big heads. Why couldn't they have just done both at once, it would've been tremendously cheaper. And why DO they spend so much money on changing our money? It took millions of dollars to make that stupid Sacajawea(I know I can't spell it) dollar, and no one uses it anyway. Plus, they mess up vending machines. It took millions of dollars for those stupid state quarters, and they aren't even properly circulating because everyone's collecting them. What's the damn point? I want my tax money to actually HELP PEOPLE rather than go into constantly re-designing our money.
Monday, December 02, 2002
Do I have a friggin' psychic connection? I am pretty freaked out, I just checked my e-mail and had this e-mail from Sib in my inbox:
Though we cannot be friends, I did want you to know that I am doing well, I have no hard feelings, and I wish you only the best in the future.
As well as being freaked out because it came after the post I just made, I'm kind of like "what the hell?" If she has no hard feelings, why can't we be friends?
Oh well. I suppose it's better than having her in a bunker somewhere making voodoo dolls of me. And I hope she has a nice life too.
Though we cannot be friends, I did want you to know that I am doing well, I have no hard feelings, and I wish you only the best in the future.
As well as being freaked out because it came after the post I just made, I'm kind of like "what the hell?" If she has no hard feelings, why can't we be friends?
Oh well. I suppose it's better than having her in a bunker somewhere making voodoo dolls of me. And I hope she has a nice life too.
Sunday, December 01, 2002
I keep having these dreams where Sib and I make up and are friends again. When I wake up, its really depressing. For awhile now, I have been thinking of sending her a letter. The gist of it would be: I think I made the right decision, but I'm really sorry about how I handled the situation, I miss you, let's make up. P.S. The reason why this letter is so long after the fact is I thought if I didn't give you time to cool off, you would rip me a new one.
Probably a bad idea, I don't know if I'm going to do it. *long suffering sigh*
Probably a bad idea, I don't know if I'm going to do it. *long suffering sigh*
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