So I was walking by my Dad when he was on the phone:

Dad: (into the phone)...well, you never know with Colitis. Sometimes she's on the toilet the whole day.
Me: My ears are burning!
Dad: What?
Me: Nevermind.

And on an unrelated note, I was sure I had some weird degenerative achy leg disease, because my legs have been hurting lately, and I really couldn't fathom why. But today, when my Mom woke me up (yeah, I know I'm a loser, but she insists on waking me up if I don't get up early enough on my own, which I never do), I was laying in a crazy position.

Basically, it's like sitting indian style, and then bending over, so I'm curled into a bizarre ball, kind of. This has happened before, though not overly frequently. I never set out to be in that position, but I'll end up that way in my sleep.

Anyway, I was especially sore today, and I can see why what with that position. So I'm thinking some of the other soreness might be I had been sleeping like that for awhile, and then changed back to normal before I got up.

So I'm relieved not to be having a disease or something. But on the other hand, how do I stop doing something in my sleep? It's not like I was trying to sleep like a freak to begin with. Also, could this have a long term effect? Could I be all old and have arthritis and be talking to the other people?

Old dude: Yeah, I got my arthritis from playing too much basketball when I was younger.
Old dude2: Mine's from a football injury! How did you get yours?
Me: From sleeping. Yeah, that's right. I eXtreme sleep, bitch!
Old people: No need to call us bitches!
Me: Sorry. The eXtreme sleep makes me a little cranky.

Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
...and that old man is me

--"Old Man on the Back Porch," Presidents of the United States of America