Yeah, I'm like an old lady who all loves to talk about her medical problems. So if you don't like hearing about my bowels, you might want to skip this post.

Colitis really screws with your values. Because of it, I actually LIKE being constipated. Not the type of constipated where you feel like you have to go but can't, but the type of constipated where you don't go for a really long time but don't feel like it anyway. It's like, a stay of execution. I know I'm going to have to pay the piper sooner or later. That I'm going to have two, three times the poo to deal with at some point later on, but it's usually worth it.

Another distorted value: the value of knowing where the restrooms are. You go to any place I've been before and ask me where the toilet is, odds are, I know. Hell, I'll give you horrifyingly detailed instructions if it's a place I go often. You need the bathroom at my local barnes and noble? No problem. Go up the aisle between the sci-fi and mystery shelves until you get to the children's section. Hang a left. Go until you get to the biographies, and you'll find it between the shelf with the books on Sartre and the shelf with Shakespeare. There is a convenient shelf right outside for you to put any unpurchased books on while you're in there.

Very sad.

Anyway, today's making me question the bit about constipation being good. Usually it's a pain to deal with after, but today I went 8 times, at least. I wanted to die. Stupid friggin' colitis.