K, I do have some serious crap, but right now, I'm more in the mood to tell you:

My pirate name!

Black Sam Kidd

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Not so exciting. But rest assured, I have also visited a site today that tells you your worth on the open human market, I should get my quote soon :P