Friday, January 25, 2002

They spelled Knack wrong in that care bear thing. I think that's enough to overthrow the decision that I'm so damned grumpy.

Though I was grumpy when I took the test *shrugs*

I am doing better though.

My roommate and I have reconciled
I'm feeling a BIT less puky, though I'm still having mondo stomach problems
I've just discovered what a great movie Sense and Sensibility is!
Boring philosophy class was canceled to-day

And on another note: someone cleaned the puke out from in front of the bookstore, though the stain of it still remains. I'm sure that's a metaphor for something

Thursday, January 24, 2002

See what Care Bear you are.
Awwww.... :P
My god this is funny. Make sure to read the product description.

Wah, my life is sucking right now, with a capital SUCK.

1) Work sucks
2) School sucks
3) Irritable Bowel Syndrome sucks. I keep getting worse and worse diahrea. Also, my parents are always "casually" mentioning how much it would suck to go to a foreign country (believe me, going to England this summer is practically the only thing keeping me from ending it all) and have diahrea all the time.
4) Medication for IBS sucks. Right now I'm on this thing that practically gives me narcolepsy, so I'm like dying to sleep in all of my classes, and all I can think of when I get back to my room is going to bed, which leaves me mondo behind on the 19 FREAKING BOOKS I HAVE TO READ THIS SEMESTER. Also, the IBS medication is making me worse. I haven't really puked since 6th grade, and I walked by the bookstore last night, and hurled on the sidewalk. Twice. And disgustingly, I had to leave it there, because it's not like I carry around stuff to clean up my own vomit. And I didn't exactly want to run into the bookstore and be like, "I puked on your sidewalk! Clean it up!"
5) Having a roommate that hates you sucks. I asked her to not use the snooze alarm anymore (to give her credit, she only hits it once) because she has to wake up way earlier than me, and I can't go back to sleep after she does this, I'm sort of an insomniac. She exploded, listing everything annoying that I do. And what especially gets me, is she is SO self righteous. So self righteous that, when I promised not to do most of the things she finds annoying anymore, she was still angry, and doesn't sound like she'll stop with the snooze alarm hitting. Plus, it's pretty sad when the only friend you have is pissed at you.

I had a good cry this morning.

Saturday, January 19, 2002

thespark.com intelligence test:

Your results have been tabulated, and your IQ is...

97
That's below average. Here's how you compare to the other people your age who've taken the IQ test:




people dumber than you (45%)
people as smart as you (2%)
people smarter than you (53%)

(based on 538,914 total submits)


Your total time was: 18 minutes and 12 seconds.
The average person like you takes 25:57.
The highest score recorded by someone your age is 215.
At your age, girls are stupider than boys.
thespark.com purity test

You are 75% Pure!
(Very interesting.)




Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:




people less pure than you (83%)
people like you (1%)
people more pure than you (16%)

It seems I am not long for this world (death test at thespark.com) :P

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:


May 12, 2002
at the age of 20 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (19%)
Contagious Disease (15%)
Homicide (9%)
Suicide (7%)
Third Degree Burns (6%)
Electrolysis (6%)
Confusion (5%)


10400181 people have taken the DeathTest.
Of those, 54% were female and 46% were male.
The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years.
10% of test takers have hairy nipples.
4% have had team sex.
8% work in the porn business.
And 173697 people claim to have leprosy.
thespark.com's pregnancy test

According to our analysis, you are not currently pregnant. During your life, you'll have:

3 children.

Here are some stats about your next one:


Sex: female
Birth weight: 7 lbs. 9 oz.
Length at birth: 8 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 10%
Most likely defect: old-age

I must have triplets from that one fateful encounter at the hotel
Thespark.com un-telligence test

The Test Results Are In! "You are a smooth chick."




You have a knack for greatness. For the record,you are:

81% Un-telligent!
which is significantly higher than the current average of 60%



Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful and sly woman:

"Interesting. While the subject shows an above average level of intelligence, her sense of observation is somewhat below average. We attribute this to the egotistical nature of the subject. Actually, rats behave in the same manner, but she's smarter than any animal.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a insane and twisted (rather brilliant) sense of humor, a decent and respectable sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

Final Score: 81% Un-telligent
thespark.com sex test results

Congrats! In your life, you'll have sex with


1 person!

And you'll first have sex at age 20,
in a hotel room.


The info on your 1 future sex partner(s):
0 of them will be female
1 of them will be male
And you will actually love 1 of them!
You have a 71% chance of dying during sex.

I'm almost 20, it's my year, baybee

8,185,935 people have taken The SexTest

55% of all test takers are female, and 45% are male.

-36% are virgins.

6% are married.

70% believe in love at first sight.

31% of all Star Trekkies are virgins.
thespark.com wealth test

Congratulations! Based on inflation, taxes, the anticipated world economy, melting icecaps, free love, the global yeast war of 2017, the Canadian depression of 2021, and your personal financial outlook, you can expect to be worth one million dollars at...


43 years old!


This is how you'll make (or lose) big bucks during your very eventful life. Match these events on your personal timeline with the graph to see their effects.


2004: Armed robbery turns hot lead to gold.

2006: Too many babies! Sex gets expensive!

2011: Kung-Fu impresses all the rich hos.

2014: A high-level magic-user steals your treasure horde. Your long sword with flametongue is useless when he casts "Freeze Balls".

"Hi, I'm Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, noted crap-monger, and star of TV's Melrose Place. I'm also a psychic. Anyway... I predict that your first million dollars will be made in 2022, in the following ways: "

$156,000 begging in the streets.

$152,000 being a star.

$96,000 criminal mischief.

$357,000 working 9 to 5.

$92,000 'working' between the sheets.

$147,000 hunting/gathering.
thespark.com

Greedy Animal! You are...
47% greedy!


In addition, we have determined that for a small bribe of 191 bucks, you'd spread a jar mayonnaise in your underwear and wear it for a month straight.

Good luck with your future life.




Of the 1,358,131 test takers so far:


8% are as greedy as you.
37% are less greedy than you.
55% are greedier than you.

And according to the GreedTest...

Coupon users are more likely to steal.

Republicans are less likely to commit dog-murder.

Hookers are more likely to know the value of a dollar.

Homeless people are more likely to work at TheSpark.

I am not likely to ever get rid of this rash.
MORE thespark.com

The results are in. You are certifiably:

21% bitch!
which is lower than the worldwide average 38%

How others compare:
1% (same as you)
7% (less bitchy than you)
92% (bitchier than you)
More from thespark.com

src="http://test3.thespark.com/sa/slut5.gif>

The results are in! You are


5% slutty
which is actually less than the average, 46%.


Based on the 5,157,754 test takers so far:
you're sluttier than 1% of the world.
you're cleaner than 99% of the world.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FACT
0 women agreed with you, and chose "Alexander Hamilton (i Find Federalists Irresistable)" as the best sex option of all time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FACT
So far, the most popular place to lick lubricated men is below the right nipple.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE NUMBER ONE THING THE AVERAGE WOMAN DISLIKES ABOUT HER OWN LOOKS
--her face--


The results are in. You are certifiably:


22% bastard!
12% of which is Tard



The worldwide average is 44% bastard.


How others compare:
1% (same as you)
7% (less bastard than you)
92% (more bastard than you)

The most bastardly age group so far is 27 year olds. 27 year olds average 46% bastard.
Guys who like the taste of coffee are more likely to cheat on their girlfriends.
Men who have been with prostitutes have more smelly armpits.
Catholics are more likely to spit on you.
Dirtbags who like childporn should burn in hell.
All of the following are from thespark.com



You have it easy. You exhibit a stress percentage of


30%

which is well below average. Quite likely, you are lazy and retarded.

Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:

Mom or Dad, you choose.
or
consciousness.


Jesus.....I'm afraid......

You are 35% GAY!



That's gayer than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight female is only 32% gay!

people less gay than you (69%)
people just as gay as you (2%)
people gayer than you (27%)

The Gay Test is actually four tests in one (to account for the possible combinations of genders and orientations). The stats below are compiled from all takers.
The world-wide gayness average is 37%.
11% of all test takers describe themselves as gay.
24 is the gayest age.
Women average 33% gay.
Men average 40%.


But, thankfully, in the gender test, they CAN tell I'm a woman:



How do we know? Well, deep down, your gender affects everything about you, from your favorite number to your views on Canada. Many women who took the test think and act just like you, as you can see from the clusters above.

Statistically speaking, you are a chick.

-- So Far, The Gender Test Has Learned --

Men prefer falling over drowning to death.

Women really hate the word "used".

Women are more likely to realize that clams
are alive (89%) than men (only 87%).
hmm....I should stop taking tests where I don't know anything about the subject......




Waste 5 minutes of your life with
the QuasiGoth Dead Person Test!



Take the Which Beatle Are You? Quiz.



CONGRATULATIONS! While your fellow band members have aged terribly from a combination of the barrage of drugs they did in their youth, and the toll of extreme success, YOUR looks haven't changed in the least since you were FIVE YEARS OLD!

Our sources indicate you will someday be the last surviving Beatle, and may in fact live forever. Although your singing and songwriting talents weren't quite on par with the rest of the boys, your drumming suited the band quite well and your sanity and niceness were what kept the Beatles together as long as they were. So be proud of your Ringoness!

Although most know you only by the size and shape of your nose, you're actually a very three-dimensional character (haha, get it?), who enjoys wholesome activities such as being a good sport while others make fun of you, acting, chocolate pudding, and pillow fights.

LOL.....the one for george is really nice, but the ones for john and paul are kinda mean. :P You should check out the other answers after you take the test if you take it--the "fifth beatle" and "yoko" ones are hilarious
I don't watch anime, but I took an "what evil anime char are you?" test anyway.


Check it out, man! Are you a villain?


You're not a villain at all. You do fight against good guys, but only for your personal goal- which is usually a long-term jealousy against the fiancee of what should be YOUR true love. You'd be a little more effective in stealing this love if you didn't get lost so damn easily


You will marry NEO (played by Keanu Reeves) from The Matrix, live in a big metal ship trying to escape from a world controlled by computers, and spend your days travelling through phone lines, hacking into the Matrix, and dodging bullets in slow motion.

What's YOUR M * A * S * H future?

Dude....

MenWhoLookLikeKennyRodgers.com

I SO need to buy a www.menwholooklikekennyrodgers.com tee shirt :P
At least I'm......

I am 6% Tool.




Yes! I am a smart person! I have a right to laugh at those losers that try to make themselves look cool because I know better. They are all just insecure pricks anyway.



Are you a tool? find out at Hilowitz.com

I am 5% skater.




I may think I am 5% skater but I am truly a POSER! I don't even own a skateboard, and yet I pretend I really am a skater. Worse yet I might be a Fruit Booter. Either that or I don't claim to be a skater, i'm just took this test for fun, in which case i have an excuse.



Take the Skater test at Hilowitz.com



Aww.....I was a poser for Punk or Poser too.
But that was more disappointing because I care about punk rock, but I'm not into skating :P
I am 14% evil.




I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.



Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com




Being Karen means that you have a strong appetite for everything that is luxurious. You depend on the support of your house maid for bringing you all the things you ever wanted. You married a rich man hoping he'd make you a wealthy widdow but are now stuck with 2 little children. The only thing left is putting down other people whilst you give into your obsession with shoes and alcohol



Everybody can Ace shop, that's what Brian thought... Though wasn't it hte ceramic elephent that gor him into detention in the first place?
Brian Johnson is one of those smart kids that is known, simply, for being smart...a nerd. . He has a lot of pressure on his shoulders, from his parents, his mother even makes him study when he's in detention.
The chance that he may not get straight A's is a very scary prospect to him...

Anthony Michel Hall was one of those Nerdy looking guys that turned out quite allright in the end. He now has played on over 20 movies amongst which Edward Scissorhands in which he plays the asshole.
Okay, I've no idea who Eddie Izzard is, but I saw this on the ho's site, and I had to take it, plus my addiction to tests......


Which Izzard Are You?

Kid Izzard: You still find a way to look at life in an innocent way, even though those around you marvel at your naive opinions. But the world wasn't made just for the grown-ups around you, so dodge your subway fare and get the most out of life!
God, I knew the staff at ISU was incompetant--they've screwed me MANY a time (housing services, maintenance, registrar's office, resnet, history dept.)

But I didn't know how incompetant they were until I became a fellow employee at ISU, and have witnessed the gazillion OTHER students that get screwed. [Note: I'm pretty competant, it's my superiors that don't know what the hell they're doing]

1) The handicapped automatic door has been broke over a month now, and they STILL haven't fixed it. This poor guy in a wheel chair was trying to get out yesterday, when the lobby was deserted except for me. He asked me if I'd help, and the sad thing is, I'm not technically allowed to, because I'm not allowed to leave the desk. AND I'm still especially on "probation" for this, seeing as how they caught me leaving to use the bathroom last week. I helped him anyway, though. How much of an ass would you be if you were like "I'm not allowed to help you." Then, whenhe wanted back in, I was on the phone helping someone, but I saw an aquaintance of mine in the lobby, and kind of got her attention and asked her to do it, which she did,so that was good.

2) Again, with the maintenance people. Once, my screen broke, and it took them an entire semester to get around to fixing it. It wasn't a big deal, really, because it still sort of worked. But it's just a preface to show you how swiftly ISU maintenence fixes a task. Like, in our new room, (this was at break, I was home at the time) my roommate had to CONSTANTLY pester them to fix our heater, which, while it still worked, was halfway hanging off whatever it's mounted on. She believed it was a fire hazard. (And believe me, in a high rise dorm, you do NOT want a fire) Today, someone came to me saying her heater was leaking buckets of water, and she's tryed to get them to fix it several times. About all I could do was fill out another form for her, with pretty strong wording, which is probably impertinant of me.

3) Last night, the guy who works the help desk at Bone Student Center called me up, and told me that some international student was stranded there, he'd expected a ride here. That thing that had all the Int'l staff's phone #'s on it is now magically gone, of course. I managed to look up the head of int'l house office number, but she was gone, of course. Then I called the pro staff on duty, and she didn't know what to do either, except she tried to look up the lady's home number, and when we called that she wasn't there either. Heather wasn't much help at all, the Bone guy finally said he was going to try to call one of HIS friends to drive the poor student here. And, during this, I only had the guy on hold like forever.
To check out more of my "artwork" go to my linked "arsepimples!"

Whoa, my posts have been few, scanty, and far between lately. I have had crap to post.

Just not the TIME to post aforesaid crap.

because:

1) I have class again now
2) I don't have resnet right now. (It's a better connection than dial up at school, because someone's always wanting to phone, and me and my roomie can't use the internet at the same time)
3) I've been working too
4) Yea, I'm lazy
5) I tried to blog yesterday in a school computer lab, and blogger crashed the entire computer. I moved onto a new computer. When I tried to restart it, I actually reached down and turned off, not my computer, but the computer of the person next to me. She was really nice about it, though, and fortunately she wasn't working on anything important. Still: sad
6. Though I HAD been having a respite from IBS, it's come back with a VENGEANCE. I'm pretty miserable.

Oh, one cool thing, I have started making these stickman comicy things. Check out http://arsepimples.blogspot.com, man.

Also, as I mentioned in my last post, I've been accepted into the school trip to England. I'm SOOOOOO excited, I can't even begin to describe it!

Bad thing: I got caught peeing illicitly. (Leaving my post to pee, that is) I was caught by the same damn RA that UNJUSTLY gave me a noise violation a year and a half ago. Though she was justified in documenting me for leaving, I suppose. My boss talked to me but didn't fire me, happily. Not that I like that job. God it's boring if you don't bring enough to read.

Oh, and I know you were all raring to find out what my price is on the open human market, but the site that gives you the price estimate never e-mailed me back, so I'm without marketable value at this time :P

And I have other crap, but I'm lazy, so LEAVE ME ALONE! :P

Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Hey.....guess who's going to England this summer?

It's meeeeeeeeeeeee!

Thursday, January 10, 2002

K, I do have some serious crap, but right now, I'm more in the mood to tell you:

My pirate name!

Black Sam Kidd

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Not so exciting. But rest assured, I have also visited a site today that tells you your worth on the open human market, I should get my quote soon :P

Saturday, January 05, 2002

I'm beginning to panic.

My one prof STILL hasn't sent me the recommendation I need for the trip to england. I need it soon, or I can't go. I'm REALLY freaking out. I started the morning with a panic attack. I mean, what if he sent it back wrong? What if he never got it? What if, since he's senile, he's lost it and forgot where it is? Gaaaah, if I could've sent it to any other prof I would've :(

Thursday, January 03, 2002

This is the geek hierarchy chart, as stated by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg. It cracks me up, but makes me wonder about myself. Because:

1. I'm a trekkie
2. I'm a sci-fi book fan
3. I'm a roleplaying gamer
3. I used to read Piers Anthony, though I've not done that in awhile

I'm all over the geek world! Plus, I don't know what a "furry" is, so I don't know who to look down on. Well, except for pokemon fans, 13 year olds, and trekkies who know the klingon language. Pitiful :P

When my parents leave me alone, the house is filled with the haunting sounds of........punk rock. Today, I'm blaring Saves The Day's Through Being Cool. Quite good.

Tuesday, January 01, 2002

I think my Mom has some sort of luggage fixation.

Last year, she got me luggage for my birthday. I didn't want luggage. I never go anywhere.

Then, awhile later, she got new luggage for herself and dad. Dad was content with the old stuff. Mom doesn't go anywhere.

Now that I am trying to go to England, I'm slightly more appreciative of the luggage. I say slightly, because this will be the first time I've gone anywhere in a heck of a long time, and I probably won't go anywhere else for a heck of a long time, so basically it probably would've been better in the long run to borrow luggage.

But now she's all like, "You need another suitcase! The luggage you have now isn't enough!"

Luggage is expensive. I was like, alright, I'll just use the old stuff. But she threw that away when she got the new stuff.

I was like, alright, I'll just borrow dads. "His isn't any bigger than yours."

I was like, alright, can I borrow yours? "No." So now i'm doomed to get a big honking suitcase I'll never use. Gee thanks.

Then, I was talking to my sis today, complaining about it. She was like, "well, it could be useful. You never know. Like, I'm going on my honeymoon in september, I'm probably going to have to get something bigger."

Then I was like, "Oh. Well, if I do end up with a big honking suitcase, you can borrow mine for your honeymoon, I'll be back by then.. No sense in us both having to buy new luggage." And mom made a whole big fuss about that. Apparently, EVERYONE has to have as much useless/near useless luggage as possible, in her view.