I am the biggest dork on earth.

I was at Farm & Fleet with my parents (dorky in and of itself), and I started looking at their tapes & DVD's, because they have a wide assortment of cheap ones, though usually old and/or B level films. I start going through it, yelling my various enthusiastic comments to my parents who are at varying distances during this.

"Wow! They have Jurassic Park! I love Jurassic Park! I can't believe it's in here! Eh.... I probably won't get it, though. It's on TV constantly. And it's a pre-owned tape."

"Oh! Mad Max! Dad, you're all about Mad Max, aren't you?" My dad makes some non comittal noises back.

"Oh my gosh! They have Cool Runnings on DVD! Do you remember that? That movie's awesome, man!" Dad's like, "Yeah, that's the one with the bobsledders, right?" I'm like, "Come on, you KNOW it's got to be some good stuff if it's got Doug E. Doug in it!"

"Wait! Mom! Have you bought everything yet? I've finally found one I want. It's the best EVER!" Mom has just gotten to the front of the line and tells me to hurry.

I hand over the DVD to the cashier with a flourish, "It's Grumpier Old Men!" I proudly announce, and I can tell he's trying his best not to laugh his ass off at me, though in a friendly way.

Good times.

I've got a mind that can steer me to your house
and a heart that can bring you red flowers
My intentions are good, and earnest, and true
but under my hood is internal combustion power
satan is my motor

--"Satan is my Motor," Cake

TV: "Lesbian Bandits" next on "Geraldo!"
Max: Ooooh Lesbians. Yummy!

--Grumpier Old Men