Phoemeister: I have a hit for "ashanti back then like a monkey"
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: yeah. That and "why didn't they mention corellians" and "I took too many varieties" But I found the ashanti one the funniest
Sui: all very nice
Phoemeister: indeed
Phoemeister: I don't think any of them I could draw very well though

addendum: I also got a hit for "smart ass monkey hats."

Today was pretty nice. Actually, yesterday was decent too, my mom bought me a ton of shirts that are kind of business-casual, so that I have stuff to wear to job interviews and then to the actual job I hopefully get since they're so impressed by my awesome new business-casual clothing. I have more than enough pants already. My sister somehow lost weight by having a baby, and I am her old size, and thereby earned myself many a pair of free pants.

Today, I started out by getting rid of a whole lot of clothes to make room for the new ones. I feel bad getting rid of perfectly good clothes, which is why I hadn't done this ages ago. But a ton of this stuff I got in Jr. High. And despite that--a ton of it is huuuge, because I was all about gigantic clothing back then. Worst of all, a good percentage of it has cute animals on it. So I finally parted with it and am hoping there's someone at goodwill that can use many large pink tee shirts with puppies on.

Then we went out to dinner with my sister & co. for no discernable reason other than for my parents to play with her baby, but I enjoyed it. I had that weird pain I've been having off and on since the pancreatitis, but it kind of went away. And then I had steak and cheese fries, which I love, and this frozen rasberry lemonade drink that is just awesome, I think I actually had had it one time before but forgot. When I got home, the pain started again so I took one of the pain pills they gave me back when I had the pancreatitis and layed down listening to this old Oasis CD I borrowed from my sister (according to Spin or Rolling Stone, they're coming back!) and kind of enjoyed being stoned on delicious steak, drugs (though steak is a happy drug in and of itself), and 90's music for the rest of the evening.

Another creepy bit that makes me think my mom equates babies with dogs (actual conversation):

Mom: wow, the 'phew sure likes people food!
Me: (sarcastic) Awwww... that's so cute! he thinks he's people!

and a new alternatune (on Oasis, surprise surprise)

What can I say about my interview at the library?

Well, first off: that it didn't happen. Something came up and she couldn't interview me and then she's unavailable for awhile so it's basically rescheduled to June 7.

There's nothing sadder than someone my age sitting at home in the middle of the afternoon watching Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. Well... maybe if I were middle aged it would be even sadder.

Just give me time.

For awhile in college I was toying with the idea of becoming a librarian, but tossed it because I didn't want to get a master's degree. And then I decided on TV and the point was moot. But now since I don't think I'm going to get a non-tv video job, I've been re-thinking the librarian idea. I still don't know if I want to do it. Especially since it would especially suck to go through librarian school only to discover I hated it too.

So I was mentioning that to my friends yesterday. Which... I feel the need to say "I'm mulling over becoming a librarian" nowadays to people rather than "I do nothing, and have no idea what I will do." That's the worst thing about being unemployed and having no prospects, having to explain it to other people. I can really see myself turning into some sort of George Costanza who just constantly lies to people telling them I'm an architect or something else ridiculous just to not have to explain that I'm unemployed or, later on, employed in a crappy job.

And they said one library in town was actually taking volunteers, so if I wanted to I could try working there for awhile to see if I like it, at least. So... I went in and applied to be a volunteer today, am going to have an interview tomorrow. I just have to tell myself that I'm a college graduate and more than qualified to be an unpaid book-shelver.

On top of that, I visited Barnes & Noble to apply there to actually get PAID for doing something for once. My mom has been pushing working there ever since I've given up on TV. And I actually would like to work there, I think. And weirdly enough, when I came in, I saw a sign that they're hiring, and it was the first time I ever saw anything like that there in my life. And I shop there a lot.

Anyway, the whole Barnes & Noble affair was VERY depressing. The guy I got the application for was all, "they're having screening interviews from 5-7 tonight, first come first served, wear clothing suitable for an interview." So I dressed up. Got there at 4:40, and.... all the interview slots were already filled up, so I'm going to have to wait till next week when they're having them again, and... don't see what the point is, because if they have that many people interviewing already, why would they not have someone hired by then? And also--if there's that friggin' many people, why on earth would they hire me. I tried to tell myself the same "I have a B.A.!" speech I gave myself at the library, but have you ever seen the people that work at B&N? They're all old. They probably all have B.A.'s and thwarted dreams and dead souls just like I do, but probably interview far better and less crack addicty.

So it's back to the drawing board for paying work. The library thing could still go well, and I'm hoping it will.

Phoemeister: HOLY CRAP
Phoemeister: Ed Norton was totally in Kingdom of Heaven and I didn't notice
Sui: hmm.. haven't seen it yet
Sui: have to keep an eye out
Phoemeister: well he plays the King, and the King is a leper and wears a mask the whole time
Phoemeister: but I would've thought I'd recognize his voice, because I swear I was watching some documentary on PBS the other night, and I wasn't paying attention, and all of a sudden I was like, "Ed Norton is narrating this documentary!" and I was right
Sui: haha nice
Phoemeister: Yeah, the documentary was crazy cheesy
Phoemeister: part of it was about water, so occaisionally they would actually cut to Ed doing stupid things with water
Sui: like drinking it?
Phoemeister: well saying some sort of cheesy line, and then enthusiastically drinking it while sitting in a lawn chair in the middle of this deserted street in the middle of this deserted neighborhood

I had a long day.

I was going to go shopping with the high school friend who lives around here, and then at the last minute it turns out that my high school friend who lives around Morrocco came back a week ago and joined us.

Okay.... me and Morocco friend, we were really tight in high school. And I still like spending time alone with her. But spending time with both of them just sucks, because they both went to college together and have all these stupid memories they feel the need to reminisce over and make me feel like a fifth wheel. Also, Morocco is the type of person that everything's all about her, so I feel like I can't get a word in.

On top of this, Morocco dragged us to all these fancy-pants stores where the outfits were way expensive, and spent 8 hours at each trying on things and deliberating about them. So... I didn't even really want to look at the clothes because if I found something I really liked I wouldn't be able to buy it anyway. And then they act like I'm less sophisticated and cheap or something because I don't want to blow $100 dollars on a dress. And they treat me like a petulant child just because I don't want to sit through this. And being treated like a petulant child makes me start acting like one, as one does not really sound like a mature adult when yelling, "Stop treating me like a petulant child!" every time they giggle when you're like, "This is $78 bucks!"

Even more painful: the endless time spent on shoes. Shoes! Who the fuck gives a rat's ass about shoes? Okay, okay... plenty of people. But for me I might as well be looking at monkey wrenches or office supplies, or most accurately: little tiny torture devices for my feet. Because that's how I view shoes. I have messed up feet, and hence if it's not one of 3 types of shoes I couldn't give less of a damn. Looking at shoes for that long is like being forced to listen to Ben Stein's character from Ferris Bueller read the phone book 8,000,000,000,000 times. It makes me want to kill myself. There is nothing more horrible than that without involving actual physical torture. And I'm made to feel like a freak, less of a human being, because I'm a girl who doesn't just loooooove stupid friggin' shoes.

So anyway... I was pretty sad and angry at the end. I even bought a skirt at old navy, the ONE store we went to in our price range, to pretend I was girly, but I know I'll probably never wear it again.

And I admit Morocco annoys me because I want to BE her. She's everything a woman my age SHOULD be. She looks great, all the clothes we looked at looked great on her, guys throw themselves at her, she's going to have a great career, she has scads of friends... whereas I've been doing nothing I'll never amount to nothing, guys hate me, girls don't want to be my friends, and I am twice the size of her.

Speaking of George Lucas being a money grubbing whore....

Which Phoe from Elsewhere and I actually were....

Anyway, I'm warning you about the onset of a long boring rant about Pez dispensers.

I took a look at the new Ep III pez dispensers. Which, I'll back up for a second and let you know that in high school, I collected pez dispensers. But I wasn't really a good collector, if you're thinking of the people who buy them, let them appreciate in value, and then resell them. Or have rare ones, and display them. Basically, I bought a whole bunch of cheap, common ones that will never really be worth anything, and used them to eat a boatload of Pez. Which isn't even that good. But it came with the dispensers.

My favorite were the star wars pez dispensers. The originals were: c3po, darth vader, storm trooper, yoda, and chewie. I took a dorky pride in combining my passions for star wars and pez. I'd actually take darth vader to school and do impressions of him for my friends, who forgave me for this because I would share my pez. Yeah. This was in high school, not grade school. I'm a hopeless dork.

And then when Ep I came out, there was Luke, Boba Fett, Ewok, and Leia. Which... why there wasn't a Luke and Leia in the original set is beyond me, not to mention why there's STILL no Han. So that was pretty cool.

But I was really pissed when Ep II came out. I'd begun to realize that my pez dispenser collecting was kind of stupid, some of them I didn't even particularly like, and they were just laying around cluttering up stuff. But I was still ready and willing to get the new ones. Except the new ones sucked! They were R2D2, which would be pretty cool, and Jango Fett and Clone Trooper. What a load of crap! Jango Fett is Boba with different colors, Clone Trooper diverges only slightly from Storm Trooper.

So the ones for Ep III (I couldn't help but look) are Death Star (kind of cool), the Emperor (way cool), General Grevious(sp?) (eh) and new chewbacca. What the hell. For the love of all that is good and holy, why? No Han or Obi-Wan, but TWO chewie's? I'd eat candy out of Jabba the Hutt before new chewie!

On top of that, Pez is always putting out collector versions of the old ones, only C3PO is shiney, or Yoda's see through or whatever, and charge like twice as much for them. It just sucks. All the time I used to think of getting the Ep II ones just so I could say I had the complete set. And I think of doing that for III now, but am holding strong.

In Lucas's defense, though--this might just be the pez corporation. They're always doing stupid things like making a clear version of an existing dispenser, tacking the word "crystal" in front of the name, calling it a collector's edition, and charging twice as much. Another reason why I quit buying them. But if I'd said that at the outset, I couldn't have named this rant "Speaking of George Lucas being a money grubbing whore...."

Oh, and speaking of Phoe from Elsewhere, here are some pez dispensers I think she would enjoy :P

I forgot to mention that the same day I saw Revenge of the Sith I also saw a new Muppet movie, the Muppet Wizard of Oz.

Which... I love star wars, but I'd have to say I actually love the muppets more, as they've never really let me down like Lucas has. That said, this was actually not one of the better Muppet movies (it was straight to video, which gives you a hint). They messed with the plot some so that it took place in modern times instead of the depression, took out all the songs and replaced them with only a couple kind of halfhearted ones, made it so dorothy didn't want to get home so much as "become a famous singing star," etc. I didn't really find this an improvement, but I can see why they did it. No one wants to see a straight adaptation of the Wizard of Oz only with muppets. Changing the plots around is exactly how some of their past movies like A Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island stayed fresh.

But the whole point was this syrupy moral bit that they didn't even stick with completely. The whole point was you should be happy to be you, and not try to be famous or phony. But in the end she becomes a superstar anyway, so it kind of undermines itself.

And Ashanti was a really bland Dorothy. Not that that kid from Muppet Treasure Island was especially entertaining, or anything. I guess sometimes the muppets need a straight man/woman, though, or else you've got an entire cast of schizophrenics as it were. And plus, the only female of the main muppets is Piggy, and she's really not a Dorothy type by a long shot.

Weirdly enough though--I liked it despite all this. Muppet humor is just so random and off the wall, that you can appreciate and love it even when the plot sucks. I absolutely love that Pepe the king prawn was Toto. I guessed that the munchkins would be the rats and that Fozzie would be the cowardly lion and I loved it when they actually were, and Gonzo as the Tin "thing" was very awesome. The best, absolute best part is when Pepe goes up and presses these metal things on Gonzo's chest and is like, "What do these do?" and Gonzo's like, "Nothing! They're my nipples!" That and other randomosities are what made it worth watching despite the crappy framework.

They've done a couple of these half-hearted made for TV/straight to video movies lately, which, while I enjoy, I can't help but hope they'll go all out and make another studio release in the not too distant future.

I wake up this morning and get: "The bad news is, we aren't going to Grandpa's. The good news is you're going to a movie!"

Apparently my mom's really sick, which kind of pisses me off. She probably isn't making it up, but part of me is just really angry. It's just one reason after another why we can't ever visit grandpa, and now we never will again considering he'll now live in florida and we never go anywhere out of state for any reason, and I'm obviously not at the point in my life where I can afford plane trips to florida to see him by myself. I'm also kind of tempted to be all, "Go anyway! Big fucking deal! People do things while they're sick all the time!" But when my mom gets sick it usually IS pretty bad. She had pneumonia at the beginning of this winter, and is always getting bronchitis and stuff, and pretty much shuts down. It's because she's got a shitty immune system and even shittier lungs, the latter I blame on smoking. She's always coughing all the time even when she's well.

I'm also kind of pissed because I knew about this trip for awhile, and held off applying to places because I didn't want to be called up for an interview while I wasn't here. Which apparently was stupid wishful thinking. And now I don't know whether to start applying or hold off yet again because supposedly we might be able to make the trip still work a month from now or some crap. I guess I WILL go ahead and apply, but I'll be really pissed if I actually have a job by then and the trip does come through and I can't go. I REALLY just wish the trip had worked out NOW and I didn't have to deal with this stuff, and I could actually see my last surviving grandparent for once!

To bribe me, my Dad took me to see Ep III. Which actually surpassed my expectations. But then again, that's not saying much, seeing as how my expectations were at rock bottom. But I do think it was better than the last two. Hayden Christiansen didn't irritate me quite as much as he did in the last movie, I always enjoy Ewan and Yoda, and a lot of things got blown up or light-sabered. I have to say, though, the big buildup about the Wookiee homeworld is lame, because about 2 minutes of the entire movie takes place there.

So the perm relaxed and I don't look near as bad as before. Though, actually, now it looks like not that much's been done to it, which I don't know if I like either. I mean, it looks way better. But it's kind of offputting to go through all that pain and pay through the nose for a perm and then have no net effect.

But I shouldn't whine. It looks a lot better.

And then tomorrow I'm going up to my Grandpa's house, he's selling it and we're visiting one last time, partly so my mom can get whatever crap of his he's promised her but she's never come to get (dishes, etc).

So I'll be gone a few days. Though it's not like anyone's gonna miss me :P

What my life has come down to:

Adrienne: How's you?
Phoemeister: pretty good
Phoemeister: a friend and I are sending each other songs, and seeing who has the gayest music :P
Adrienne: Hee, nice.

But with no job, what else am I gonna do? Yeah... those temp people have never called me to do anything. So I'm thinking of doing something else, only I don't want to apply before Friday, because on Friday we're going up to my grandpa's house, he's selling it. So if they called for an interview while I was up there, it would be stupid. So... yeah. That's my excuse du jour.

Also, don't know if I can win the gayest music contest. Because we decided that it has to be GOOD gay music. Which is hard to find, and I don't know how much of it I gots.

...and then I got into a "who's nerdier?" contest, that started with leet and ended up being:

Phoemeister: I wonder why leet is so fun. I love being a dork
Adrienne: Me too. I think it's because even though most people know about it, it's still a small amount of people that use it. And an even smaller number who aren't cheeto-guzzling uber-nerds.
Phoemeister: LOL true. I'm hoping I'm not one of the latter.
Phoemeister: But I do know what a corellian is
Phoemeister: and what a cardassian is
Adrienne: Me too. I also know Corellians hate hanging back when they could be in the thick of it, and Cardassians like fine wines.
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: that is so awesome

Got the perm today. I look a little more like Weird Al Yankovic than I had anticipated, but I suppose it could be worse.

Awesome.

Phoemeister: I had steak skewer-y things
Tina: and we know how happy steak makes you
Phoemeister: indeed!
Phoemeister: better than booze! and chocolate! and sex! I'm assuming.
Tina: sex? noooo... not even cheese is better than sex
Phoemeister: nothing is better than cheese
Phoemeister: nothing, you hear me?
Phoemeister: Maybe it's better than french cheese.
Phoemeister: but regular cheese is like sex, booze, chocolate, steak, and monkeys all in one.
Phoemeister: you just can't beat that
Tina: nope, sorry, can't agree and I've had it all... except the monkey thing
Phoemeister: psh. I can't believe anyone's opinion if they've never had a monkey.

EDIT:

Adrienne: *reads post* I agree. There really is nothing better than cheese.
Phoemeister: thank you! I knew I was right!
Adrienne: For sure. I don't know if I've experienced cheese that was sex, booze, chocolate, steak, and monkeys in the SAME bite, but over the course of the cheese, they are all experienced.
Phoemeister: indeed!
Phoemeister: You know your stuff
Adrienne: I know my cheese. *nods sagely*

2 new alternatunes! That kind of good news gets a post all by itself! (because I'm too lazy to go in and edit) Huzzah!

So my mom's still convinced that even though it was the drivers, it was all caused by some virus, not just by the fact that windows ME is the worst OS ever and has screwed me many times by now. And maybe I'd be less confident in my assertion of that counter arguement, if Ryan, the guy who even realized what was wrong and helped me fix it wasn't pretty adamant that it wasn't a virus.

Anyway, she's all, "don't ever d/l anything from your friends onto our computer!" which, I won't since she's gone and ordered me to, and it IS her computer. AND since I have mine fixed, it's not likely that I'll want to (at least until the next time windows screws me) anyway. But it just gnaws at me that she really thinks I'm going around d/ling anything, everything, from whatever source like a moron. If I do have a virus (and I admit, I did find some trojans when I scanned, though deleting them didn't do anything) it's because of friggin' websites that put crap onto your computer. Because none of my friends have any viruses. Hell, considering how often I get them, they should probably be boycotting files from me, not vice versa. To that argument, she says the virus is probably one that doesn't act immediately. Which makes me think she doesn't know that time goes forward only, not backward as well.

I really need to get a real job and get out of the house. My Dad's just been driving me nuts lately too. He can't sit still for one instant, he has to pick something and play with it. And of course it'll be noisy. And of course he comes into whatever room I am in to do it. And of course he never believes ANYONE when they tell him something he's doing is annoying. I'm not even kidding, it's not just me, he totally disregards mom too. Unless she just goes ape at him and starts screaming, and then instead of it getting through to him he argues that she's just too sensitive. Even if it's something widely believed by most people to be annoying, like chewing with his mouth wide open (which he does, and quite noisily).

So while I love the parents, it's hard to live with them. Especially since I have no social life and hence spend nearly 24/7 with them.

Phoemeister: oh, I finally saw Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy today
Tina: and?
Phoemeister: mmm.... I always forget that I don't like the whole Hitchiker's ouvre as much as I pretend to in order to impress other nerds. I'm really way more of a Dirk Gently fan.
Phoemeister: it's alright. About as good as the books.
Phoemeister: a little harder to follow
Phoemeister: and the plot definately has some differences
Phoemeister: but they aren't bad or good, really, just different
Tina: never finished the books myself
Phoemeister: they're okay. That's another problem, I kept forgetting what was in which book
Phoemeister: and I'd be like, "how come blah blah blah hasn't happened yet?" answer: it's not till a couple books in the future

Hurrah! I did finally get the mouse and the video card working. Alas, I have no idea how to fix the nipple, but if the mouse works, that's good enough, I guess :P

So what's wrong with my computer isn't viruses! It's crappy drivers and crappy windows. I should've known!

Still.... though I now know what it is.... no closer to fixing it as apparently the computer just says NO to the replacement drivers I'm trying to install.

In other news, I'm now a temp. I guess. Lack of hoops to jump through has me suspicious. THough I guess if you want to look for hoops, I did have to fill out an absolute buttload of paperwork, some of it stuff I already filled out yesterday.

The art criticism portion of the blog:

Sui: wow..
Sui: this like.. 8 year old painter kid
Sui: selling paintings for upwards of $11,000
Sui: and this stuff sucks : P
Sui: I think it's because he likes picasso
Sui: who also sucks

I applied to a temp agency. I guess they're taking me, I'm going to an orientation tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe they just take anyone who isn't obviously a felon and/or crack addict, and then decide if you're qualified later, when a job comes up. Because all I had to do was fill out the forms, and bam! I'm in. I also have to show them my social security card when I go to the orientation, because I didn't have it on me, and I'm sure they'll be wanting to steal my identity.

I also had a dream last night where I was still in my internship because I kept forgetting to not go over there. Only instead of the people I actually worked with, there was Gibbs and Ducky from the TV show NCIS. Gibbs was a real hard-ass, like on the show, and telling me to not show up anymore because I suck. Ducky was nicer, but I still hated him because even though he was nicer about it, he, too, wanted me to leave.

True story.

So the job hunt goes.... slowly. Really, there are not many non-news video production jobs. So I'm sort of dragging my heels because I know I'm going to have to get a "real" job, but don't want to. My mom gave me a week to just sit around and do nothing, so I did that. Then I've been thinking about temp agencies, because again, my mom suggested it (okay, okay, I know she runs my life) for something to do until I can get into something better. So today I called up a couple agencies, I'm going to actually visit them tomorrow.

It is kind of embarassing to go back on the career path, though. Yesterday, I went to the dentist, and my whole family has gone there since before I was born. And by a freak accident, my sister actually had an appointment earlier the same day. So my sister told the hygienist all about how my internship was over and I've basically been doing nothing the last week. So I have to explain that, and that I'm going to be looking for temp jobs. I felt like such a failure. And why? Because I looked bad in front of my dental hygienist. That's dumb. But I remember back when I started my internship, and how cool people (including said hygienist) thought it was that I was going to be a photographer at a real TV station. Even though I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't care how "cool" they are, it is kind of depressing. No one get's excited for a temp. Or probably whatever I'm going to end up being after a temp (god willing). And then the embarrassing icing to the cake is the sitting around unemployed for the last week or so.

Also... I'm going to cut my hair! Big news, since it's been like, 2 years since the last one. And maybe four years between that cut and the cut before. Mom's actually been decent about not nagging me about my hair, so I figure I might as well reward her for being good about it. Also, I was thinking about getting a perm (which the only other one I had was when I was 12). Perms get a lot of bad press, and for good reason. I think a good majority of short hair perms end up looking like 'fros and/or old lady hair. Or if the perm's too tight. But I was thinking of getting a few inches off my hair and then getting a kind of loose perm on my still fairly long hair. I was thinking of this because I always have my hair up in a pony tail because if I leave it down it gets tangly. But with a perm, maybe I could leave it down sometimes because it's not as easy to see when permed hair's tangly? We'll see, I guess.

I guess that's all I have to say fer now.

So today's 5/5/05. I just feel bad for the kids that are going to get saddled with 6/6/06 for a birth date next year.

Anyways, new alternatune.

So my computer went pfft!

I'm not really sure what to do about it right now, I ran the virus checker and deleted everything that showed up, but the computer still won't work if not in safe mode. And I'd really thought I wasn't the type to get viruses, but this'll be the second time if you count all the adware I had awhile ago, which is basically the same thing as a virus. Anyway, I'm unhappily relegated to the 'rents computer until such time as I figure what the hell's wrong or give up and totally do whatever it is that wipes everything, which I don't want to do for the sake of my illegal MP3's I'll never be able to d/l again, and I'm too lazy to back up the pictures on there I'll never find again, or the wacky IM convers I've saved..... bleh.

My mom's all convinced I got it from d/ling things from friends, but I don't think I've d/led anything from anyone likely to be malicious, and I don't think anyone accidently passed it on because no one else is all, "My computer went to hell too!" or has had an absence implying as such.

In other news, we went to Fiesta Ranchera tonight. We went there before once, and I hated it. The thing is, I'm the pickiest eater EVER. But that's not that bad when you can order 90 things off, like I do at most places. But somehow, all mexican places save Taco Bell ALWAYS screw me and leave tons of ingredients off the menu, so I do order off the guacamole and salsa or whatever, but there will be friggin' bits of chili peppers in the cheese! Why would you not warn someone about that? Honestly. I know some people love their food to be hot, but not EVERYONE wants their food to taste like BURNING.

So last time I went to Fiesta Ranchera I got quesodillas or something, and that happened to me, and I vowed never to eat there again, but my parents badgered me into going again. So this time I got "nachos with beans and cheese." How can you friggin' go wrong with nachos with beans and cheese. There's chips, there's beans, there's cheese. No huge mystery, right? I specifically ask the waiter if the cheese is hot, and he's like, "No." My mom (who embarassingly likes to order for me) gives him the riot act on how I will not eat anything but chips, beans, and cheese. And..... of course, there's chili pepper bits in the cheese and it is hot. Why? WHY? This is why I didn't want to go to stupid Fiesta Ranchera in the first place.

TAKE ME TO TACO BELL. You already KNOW what's going to happen when you take me to a fancier mexican place. And hell, what's the point of going somewhere else for mexican food with me anyway? To me, it probably won't be as GOOD as taco bell, even if they do get my order right, and it's certainly going to be more expensive and take longer.

And my dad of course made me feel two feet tall by afterwards finding some tiny corner of the menu not even near the nacho section that says the nachos have friggin' chile peppers in them. Yeah. You're a LOT of help scouting out the ingredients beforehand, when it would actually be useful, aren't you? If you find it afterwards, just keep your mouth shut. I had a reasonable expectation for it to not suck, no matter what you just found. And you knew I was picky from before, it didn't just change overnight, buddy.

Yesterday I went out to celebrate my internship being over with my high school friend. It was fun, we had dinner and watched the Interpreter. I'm a very spineless person when it comes to moviegoing. If someone wants to see something I'm not hugely interested in, I'll go anyway. I do that with my Dad, and I especially do it with this friend. So the interpreter was like my fifth choice after Hitchiker's, Miss Congeniality II, Fever Pitch, and Sahara--basically anything but Triple X: State of the Union. But... anyway, it was alright. And I probably would've ended up seeing it on video sometime anyways.

I was kind of depressed after I got home, though. I mentioned that I have no job prospects, basically, and she said she'd love to see me go to New York or LA and break into the entertainment business. Which it makes me sad, because I'd love to do that but I know I'll never have the courage. I could not move halfway across the country to somewhere I don't know where I know no one, trying to break into a notoriously difficult business to break into....

Also sad, she said her mom and her had been talking about it, and that her mom thought I'd do great there. Isn't it sad when someone else's mom you've met maybe five or six times, tops, has more confidence in you than your own mom? Even if I did muster up the courage to go, my mom would bring up every horrible thing that could possibly happen and crush my spirit. She is afraid of big cities. And doesn't want me to go very far from her. She about had a fit when I even applied for a job opening at Rockford! Hell, she didn't even want me to take the internship in Peoria at first. Then again, to play devil's advocate, my friend's mom really has nothing to lose by saying some random friend of her daughter's would do good in LA. If I did go and fall flat on my face, she wouldn't feel responsible. And she obviously doesn't know me well enough to know if I'd succeed or fail. So optimism from strangers probably isn't worth that much.

I know everyone would want this, but I wish I could see into the future. Not like, specifics. Just enough to know "If I do this thing, would I be happy in general? Or would I be more happy in the long run to do this other thing?" And then I could proceed with total confidence. It would be so much nicer than relying on the magic 8 ball like I do now.

So yesterday was my last day of work at the station.

I spent the first few minutes describing in detail the whole dent incident one last time to some pencil pusher on the top floor so they know exactly how to file the claim on this "significant amount of damage," a phrase the clearly disapproving lady used as many times as possible to put me into my place.

Then I went to two stories, both on Komen Race For The Cure-related things. For people who don't know, it's a race to earn money for breast cancer research, and it's big enough that it has a few tie-ins. The one thing was this golf tournement. It was actually crazy fun, because this dude drove me around at top speed on his golf cart. You don't think golf carts go that fast until you're in one, clinging with all your might to thousands of dollars of heavy video equiptment, but then you become born again to the magnificence of the humble golf cart. Or at least I did. Believe me, SO much better than trying to lug it around a huge-ass golf course.

The other thing was this Johnsonville Brat mobile thing in front of a Cub foods, where they were selling the brats (bratwursts if you're accidently reading this like bratty kids) to raise money that was going to go to the Komen fund. That was actually kind of annoying, there were several really hovery people around. Honestly, some people are drawn like bees to honey if you have a damn camera. Thankfully, they don't try to get on screen, but they do come over and ask me about a million questions while I'm trying to get my job done. Most of the time I don't mind it, but when I'm in a hurry, I just want to be like, "Do I come down to where you work and pester you with about a thousand irritating questions while you're trying to do your job?" except I DO do that. I'm the media.

Anyway, there was this one particularly persistant guy who kept coming back. I would like to think that I'm just that hot that he wanted to hit on me, but no one ever has, he wasn't being flirty, and he was not in my age range. I told him I was an intern and am in charge of nothing (didn't add that it was my last day there anyway), but he still wanted my name and a number for the station, so I finally gave it to him to make him go away, even though giving out personal info like that makes me a bit queasy.

Then after I came back and editted these, I spent four hours doing absolutely nothing, as I have done quite frequently there.

So anyway, I'm happy to be gone, but not hugely thrilled to be unemployed. My parents are overwhelmingly understanding in giving me a couple days breathing room before I start applying to places, but I have to start all that process up again soon. Particularly irritating as I don't even know what places I want to apply to. The real world is already being a pain.

Today my dad and I rented movies and watched them. Also, we all went to Olive Garden to celebrate the end of the internship. I had alcohol! But I had to get my mom to order it because I didn't have my ID on me. It was my seventh drink ever. I'm such a lightweight. I also had one of their special tuscan whatever meals that they're pushing right now. Quite good. I love garlic. I'm like, whatever the opposite of a vampire is, I love garlic so much.

Good times.