As if I wasn't depressed enough.....

A couple months ago I discovered The Bitter Single Guy. It's a kind of funny love advice column webpage.

And, in one of my moments of extremely stupid temporary insanity, I sent an E-mail question in. I was like, what's the worse that can happen? He'll tell me guys'll like me in a couple more years, like every freaking one else has every year since I hit puberty? I can handle that. But no, I look even more pathetic. And in another round of stupidness, I'm posting my question and answer, although it's embarrassing enough that it's like on the top of his page already.

Question:

Dear Bitter Single Guy,

I have recently discovered your site, and its awesome! Anyway, I wondered if the BSG had any advice for me.

I'm a pathetic loser. I am 20, and no guy has ever asked me on a date. More than that, I'm not even friends with any guys. It's like they avoid me. I don't even know too many guys who are even acquaintances. I'm too shy to ask anyone out that I barely know, and as I don't know many guys.... No one even ever comes on to me. Well, there was this one time in Geology last semester. The guy said I was "precious." But then, one time we were watching a tour group, and he started making aroused cat noises, right in front of me, which I think cancels out the precious thing. He was pretty annoying anyway, he never let me get a word in edgewise.

I know I'm not ugly. I've known far uglier people than me who get dates. I know my personality is a bit quirky, but guys online hit on me all the time.... Most of them are kind of weird, but...... So, this is probably pretty hard to answer, seeing as you don't know me, but I thought I'd give it a try: "why don't guys like me?"

Man Repellent

Answer:

Dear M.R.,

The Bitter Single Guy's heart goes out to your date-less self! It's NEVER good to identify as a pathetic loser! Here's the good news, M.R., at 20, this probably seems like a life ending crisis, but the B.S.G. can tell you that it's not. You will not believe this until you have a few years under your belt, but there it is.

The B.S.G. has one quick thought before rendering his judgment (the B.S.G. is a great fan of Judge Hatchett these days). Don't be so quick to write off Geology Boy. Late teen and early twenty-somethings aren't known for eloquence and all this annoying behavior may be his expression of affection. Or not.

M.R., the Bitter Singe Guy's best advice is to seek the advice of someone closer to you. Based solely on your typing (which seems fine to the B.S.G.) the B.S.G. is hard pressed to tell you why guys don't like you. He suspects, however, that it won't last. Guys, as a rule, aren't terribly discriminating (not to diminish the value of your unique qualities, M.R.!).

Just a final thought because he is interested in leaving no stone unturned. The B.S.G. wonders if the lack of response by boys to your charms is due to some attraction to your own gender? Stranger things have happened! The Bitter Single Guy himself wondered why more girls didn't like him as a late teen, only to find that he really didn't like them either. Just a thought, M.R.

B.S.G.

1) They make you use lame names, so don't blame me for using guy repellant
2) I'm NOT gay, and if I was I bet I couldn't get women either
3) I should settle for anyone, even annoying losers? Because believe me, Geology creep was an ass. I knew him about a year ago, and if I see him downstairs in the dining center I STILL avoid him.