Okay, I've decided I'm a sick, sick person.

1) Someone built a snow penis on campus. I was really excited. I tryed to badger my roommate into letting me take a photo of her touching it, but she wouldn't. Then I was going to go down and try to get random bystanders to pose with it for five dollars. Then my roommate relented, and was going to take the photo of me doing it. But then the snow penis had been knocked down by then. I was SO sad, which is crazy. And afterwards, I had another thought, "Dammit, I could've pretended to lick the snow penis." But my roommate said it was too gross for her to photograph, so I gues seither way. I'm still depressed I was cheated out of a snow penis photo.

2) I have just got my FIFTH Ben Folds/Ben Folds Five CD. Now I know why my sister felt so lame when she racked up five Live. I spose there's sadder things. I could have all Backstreet Boys. I DO have a Spice Girls CD. (Bought when I was young, during a moment of vulerablitly, I swear!)

3) I just like headscrewing too much. Here's a log of an AIM message I had recently. Props to my partner in crime for helping me out on this one.



Phoemeister: hey
Chadd: hello
Phoemeister: hows things? Is that rash clearing up?
Chadd: Who is this?
Phoemeister: dammit. Steve said you wouldn
Phoemeister: 't remember me, but I thought he was lying
Chadd: umm
Phoemeister: wait, did steve tell you to pretend you didn't know me?
Chadd: Who is Steve?
Phoemeister: that's something steve would do
Phoemeister: You don't remember Steve?
Phoemeister: how can you not remember steve?
Chadd: Umm...
Chadd: You're scaring me
Chadd: lol
Phoemeister: Steve should've scared you. He's like 6'7" and wears this giant cowboy hat. I'd think you'd remember that
Chadd: um, just tell me who this is
Phoemeister: Jason
Chadd: Jason?
Chadd: Jason who?
Phoemeister: Yea..... Some guys call me "hound dog" but I'm assuming you wanted my proper name
Phoemeister: Jason Clark
Chadd: How would I know you?
Phoemeister: Are you sure you don't remember me? Or at least Steve?
Chadd: just remind me of where I'd know you from
Phoemeister: You know, that club.........
Chadd: club?
Chadd: What club?
Phoemeister: The Aquarium. With all those tacky fake fish hanging all over. Or was it the Pub II?
Chadd: aquarium?
Phoemeister: I can't keep clubs straight
Chadd: ummmmmmmm
Chadd: IRL?

Then, partner came online, and I was like, "Be Steve!" and she was like okay.

Partner: Hello there.
Chadd [10:46]: heya
Partner: So you're talking to Jason, huh?
Chadd [10:47]: Who is Jason??

Chadd: what city?

Partner: God, man, you should at least remember Jason!
Chadd [10:49]: ok if someone doesn't start telling me who JAson is I'm gonna' freak

Phoemeister: I can't remember. Steve and I travel a lot.......

I still can't understand.......why're you pretending like you don't know me?

Partner: Jason Clark!
Chadd [10:49]: where would I know him from?
Partner: At a club... er... I can't remember the name.
Chadd [10:50]: a...club? What city?
Partner: I think it was something to do with the sea or fish or something.

Phoemeister: I can't remember. Steve and I travel a lot.......

I still can't understand.......why're you pretending like you don't know me?
Chadd: because you're freaking me out...
Chadd: what was the name of this...aquarium?
Phoemeister: Well.....I admit it isn't every day you meet a midget and a really tall guy that hang out together, but you seemed cool with it at the time.....
Phoemeister: it's CALLED the aquarium, dude :P
Phoemeister: lol
Chadd: how long ago was this?
Phoemeister: Only like, two months ago

Partner: I'm not sure, I think it was somewhere on the West coast... though it might not've been - we get around.
Chadd [10:52]: Well this is beginning to freak me out, I need more details here

Chadd: where at, exactly?
Phoemeister: some club, dude.
Chadd: what do I look like then?
Phoemeister: You had this rash......
Phoemeister: and you told us your name was "Gene" and you were interested in a three way with us
Phoemeister: But we wanted to wait until that rash cleared up

Part: Well Jason's 4'10", red hair... he's really hairy.
I'm 6'8", blonde, kinda muscular.
I can't believe you dont' remember us!
Part:It was in December or soemthing.
Chadd [10:54]: what do I look like? Other than this Rash he's talking abuot?
Part: Or maybe November.... not sure... it's all a bit of a blur, lol.
Chadd [10:56]: umm, you are trying to convince me that I offered a threesome with two guys?

Chadd: um ok, wel that's incorrect
Chadd: because I've never had a rash in the past four to five months I had to bold that, and laugh, because it makes me think the poor boy HAS had a rash in the last year.
Chadd: and I've never been to a club
Chadd: and I'm straight
Chadd: very

Part: Pretty tall, dark hair, I think, but it was hard to tell as it was dark int he club, you know?

Phoemeister: Hey, I'm actually a woman that had a sex change four months ago, so it's kind of liiiiiike having sex with a woman, you said. You said you'd make an exception for me. And, you said you usually deny the rash, but our offer was just too good to pass up, but you wanted to inform us of the rash before we did anything
Chadd: ummm
Chadd: I've never met anyone with a sex change
Phoemeister: Except for me, duh
Chadd: um, no I've never met you
Chadd: because I've never met someone named Jason
Chadd: Clark
Phoemeister: and you offered to have dirty hot monkey sex with me and my life partner

Prt: Well Jason wasn't always a guy
Prt: Dude, are you trying to deny it?? Man, are you _sure_ you don't remember us?!

Phoemeister: Steve's telling you to pretend you don't know me, isn't he?

Chadd [10:58]: Umm, how old was I?
Prt: Well, dude, however old you were in December! You wouldn't say.

Chadd [10:59]: where do you live?
Prt: Miami

Chadd: um, I don't know Steve
Chadd: and I don't know you
Phoemeister: Are you sure? We're pretty memorable........I'm a hairy bastard. And short, for a guy (cos of the sex change) and Steve is TALL and wears this HUGE cowboy hat

Chadd [11:01]: ok you guys are freaking me out
Chadd [11:01]: I've never met any of you
Chadd [11:01]: and if I don't get some serious answers and some truths, I'm gonna' report you tw

Chadd: where are you guys at right now?
Phoemeister: Atlanta. We're in town visiting our friend Devo. He's interested in you, by the way. He's the main reaosn I'm asking if your rash's cleared up yet
Chadd: funny
Chadd: Your friend says you're in Miami
Phoemeister: Steve? Maybe he means we LIVE in Miami
Phoemeister: because we do. But we're visiting Devo
Phoemeister: HE lives in atlanta

Then, we decided to start leaving him alone, because we didn't want him to get partner's AOL account canceled.

Prt: Dude, I think we've got the wrong guy. If you had met us, you'd remember
Chadd [11:02]: Um I think so too
Chadd[11:02]: because...I'm very straight
Prt: Yeah, we're pretty memorable guys.
Chadd [11:03]: and you're honestly freaking me out now
Prt: Sorry man, this guy gave us this screen name to contact him. Must've lied!
Chadd [11:05]: umm
Chadd [11:05]: what's his screen name?
Prt: He said it was "____Chadd"... Maybe it's only one d

Chadd: I'm gonna' go vomit now
Phoemeister: Uhm.......why?

Chadd [11:05]: Yea...
Chadd [11:06]: so um...leave me alone because that is nasty, I am so very straight
Prt: Or maybe he did just lie.
Chadd [11:06]: how would he know me?
Prt: No, I mean maybe he just made up some random SN and it happened to be yours.
Prt: Anyway, sorry to bother you, man. If you hear from anyone mentioning Jason or Steve, then tell him that I'm having to use my friend's cousin's screen name at the moment.
Prt: See ya.

Phoemeister: Uhm.......why?
Chadd: because this is @#%$ nasty
Phoemeister: hey, I'm offended that you find my lifestyle "@#%$ nasty." What's "@#%$ nasty" is bigots like you!
Chadd: what's nasty is people randomly IMing me telling me to have threesomes with them
Phoemeister: We weren't TELLING you to. I honestly thought you were this guy we met at the aquarium who DID want a threesome with us, thank you very much, and apparently steve did too, cos he was IMing you.
Chadd: I have nothing wrong with you
Chadd: what I have wrong is being IMed like this
Chadd: it honestly scared me
Phoemeister: I still don't understand, though. I was SURE you were this guy who wanted a threesome with us *shrugs*

Number of times "Snow Penis" mentioned in this blog: 5