Does my mom have it out for me? And I quote:

"If they decide to scope your colon, we should try and make the appointment for spring break, so we can fit it into your schedule easier."

DEAR LORD. She wants me to spend my spring break getting my ass scoped???? Ah, motherly love.

This is after 3 years ago when she made me get my wisdom teeth out during break, which I got to spend in agony, because they didn't give me strong enough pain drugs afterwards.

I'm beginning to think she really has it in for me. I mean, really....

"What did you do for spring break?"

"I visited my grandparents in Missouri!"

"I went to Fort Lauderdale!"

"I stayed home and chilled!"

"I got my ass scoped!"


I'm fighting it tooth and nail.