Nothing to do today, yay.

I have to say that this last semester I have become even more disillusioned about school. Yesterday, I skipped a class right out, left during another, and left during a third one, after lying and saying I had a doctor's appointment.

And last semester, I hardly skipped at all... Man I hope I have classes I can stand in the future, because I really can't drop any more (like I have the last two semesters) if I want to graduate in some semblence of on time. And I want to leave this place as soon as possible.

And also, I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Collumn. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Okay, I've decided I'm a sick, sick person.

1) Someone built a snow penis on campus. I was really excited. I tryed to badger my roommate into letting me take a photo of her touching it, but she wouldn't. Then I was going to go down and try to get random bystanders to pose with it for five dollars. Then my roommate relented, and was going to take the photo of me doing it. But then the snow penis had been knocked down by then. I was SO sad, which is crazy. And afterwards, I had another thought, "Dammit, I could've pretended to lick the snow penis." But my roommate said it was too gross for her to photograph, so I gues seither way. I'm still depressed I was cheated out of a snow penis photo.

2) I have just got my FIFTH Ben Folds/Ben Folds Five CD. Now I know why my sister felt so lame when she racked up five Live. I spose there's sadder things. I could have all Backstreet Boys. I DO have a Spice Girls CD. (Bought when I was young, during a moment of vulerablitly, I swear!)

3) I just like headscrewing too much. Here's a log of an AIM message I had recently. Props to my partner in crime for helping me out on this one.



Phoemeister: hey
Chadd: hello
Phoemeister: hows things? Is that rash clearing up?
Chadd: Who is this?
Phoemeister: dammit. Steve said you wouldn
Phoemeister: 't remember me, but I thought he was lying
Chadd: umm
Phoemeister: wait, did steve tell you to pretend you didn't know me?
Chadd: Who is Steve?
Phoemeister: that's something steve would do
Phoemeister: You don't remember Steve?
Phoemeister: how can you not remember steve?
Chadd: Umm...
Chadd: You're scaring me
Chadd: lol
Phoemeister: Steve should've scared you. He's like 6'7" and wears this giant cowboy hat. I'd think you'd remember that
Chadd: um, just tell me who this is
Phoemeister: Jason
Chadd: Jason?
Chadd: Jason who?
Phoemeister: Yea..... Some guys call me "hound dog" but I'm assuming you wanted my proper name
Phoemeister: Jason Clark
Chadd: How would I know you?
Phoemeister: Are you sure you don't remember me? Or at least Steve?
Chadd: just remind me of where I'd know you from
Phoemeister: You know, that club.........
Chadd: club?
Chadd: What club?
Phoemeister: The Aquarium. With all those tacky fake fish hanging all over. Or was it the Pub II?
Chadd: aquarium?
Phoemeister: I can't keep clubs straight
Chadd: ummmmmmmm
Chadd: IRL?

Then, partner came online, and I was like, "Be Steve!" and she was like okay.

Partner: Hello there.
Chadd [10:46]: heya
Partner: So you're talking to Jason, huh?
Chadd [10:47]: Who is Jason??

Chadd: what city?

Partner: God, man, you should at least remember Jason!
Chadd [10:49]: ok if someone doesn't start telling me who JAson is I'm gonna' freak

Phoemeister: I can't remember. Steve and I travel a lot.......

I still can't understand.......why're you pretending like you don't know me?

Partner: Jason Clark!
Chadd [10:49]: where would I know him from?
Partner: At a club... er... I can't remember the name.
Chadd [10:50]: a...club? What city?
Partner: I think it was something to do with the sea or fish or something.

Phoemeister: I can't remember. Steve and I travel a lot.......

I still can't understand.......why're you pretending like you don't know me?
Chadd: because you're freaking me out...
Chadd: what was the name of this...aquarium?
Phoemeister: Well.....I admit it isn't every day you meet a midget and a really tall guy that hang out together, but you seemed cool with it at the time.....
Phoemeister: it's CALLED the aquarium, dude :P
Phoemeister: lol
Chadd: how long ago was this?
Phoemeister: Only like, two months ago

Partner: I'm not sure, I think it was somewhere on the West coast... though it might not've been - we get around.
Chadd [10:52]: Well this is beginning to freak me out, I need more details here

Chadd: where at, exactly?
Phoemeister: some club, dude.
Chadd: what do I look like then?
Phoemeister: You had this rash......
Phoemeister: and you told us your name was "Gene" and you were interested in a three way with us
Phoemeister: But we wanted to wait until that rash cleared up

Part: Well Jason's 4'10", red hair... he's really hairy.
I'm 6'8", blonde, kinda muscular.
I can't believe you dont' remember us!
Part:It was in December or soemthing.
Chadd [10:54]: what do I look like? Other than this Rash he's talking abuot?
Part: Or maybe November.... not sure... it's all a bit of a blur, lol.
Chadd [10:56]: umm, you are trying to convince me that I offered a threesome with two guys?

Chadd: um ok, wel that's incorrect
Chadd: because I've never had a rash in the past four to five months I had to bold that, and laugh, because it makes me think the poor boy HAS had a rash in the last year.
Chadd: and I've never been to a club
Chadd: and I'm straight
Chadd: very

Part: Pretty tall, dark hair, I think, but it was hard to tell as it was dark int he club, you know?

Phoemeister: Hey, I'm actually a woman that had a sex change four months ago, so it's kind of liiiiiike having sex with a woman, you said. You said you'd make an exception for me. And, you said you usually deny the rash, but our offer was just too good to pass up, but you wanted to inform us of the rash before we did anything
Chadd: ummm
Chadd: I've never met anyone with a sex change
Phoemeister: Except for me, duh
Chadd: um, no I've never met you
Chadd: because I've never met someone named Jason
Chadd: Clark
Phoemeister: and you offered to have dirty hot monkey sex with me and my life partner

Prt: Well Jason wasn't always a guy
Prt: Dude, are you trying to deny it?? Man, are you _sure_ you don't remember us?!

Phoemeister: Steve's telling you to pretend you don't know me, isn't he?

Chadd [10:58]: Umm, how old was I?
Prt: Well, dude, however old you were in December! You wouldn't say.

Chadd [10:59]: where do you live?
Prt: Miami

Chadd: um, I don't know Steve
Chadd: and I don't know you
Phoemeister: Are you sure? We're pretty memorable........I'm a hairy bastard. And short, for a guy (cos of the sex change) and Steve is TALL and wears this HUGE cowboy hat

Chadd [11:01]: ok you guys are freaking me out
Chadd [11:01]: I've never met any of you
Chadd [11:01]: and if I don't get some serious answers and some truths, I'm gonna' report you tw

Chadd: where are you guys at right now?
Phoemeister: Atlanta. We're in town visiting our friend Devo. He's interested in you, by the way. He's the main reaosn I'm asking if your rash's cleared up yet
Chadd: funny
Chadd: Your friend says you're in Miami
Phoemeister: Steve? Maybe he means we LIVE in Miami
Phoemeister: because we do. But we're visiting Devo
Phoemeister: HE lives in atlanta

Then, we decided to start leaving him alone, because we didn't want him to get partner's AOL account canceled.

Prt: Dude, I think we've got the wrong guy. If you had met us, you'd remember
Chadd [11:02]: Um I think so too
Chadd[11:02]: because...I'm very straight
Prt: Yeah, we're pretty memorable guys.
Chadd [11:03]: and you're honestly freaking me out now
Prt: Sorry man, this guy gave us this screen name to contact him. Must've lied!
Chadd [11:05]: umm
Chadd [11:05]: what's his screen name?
Prt: He said it was "____Chadd"... Maybe it's only one d

Chadd: I'm gonna' go vomit now
Phoemeister: Uhm.......why?

Chadd [11:05]: Yea...
Chadd [11:06]: so um...leave me alone because that is nasty, I am so very straight
Prt: Or maybe he did just lie.
Chadd [11:06]: how would he know me?
Prt: No, I mean maybe he just made up some random SN and it happened to be yours.
Prt: Anyway, sorry to bother you, man. If you hear from anyone mentioning Jason or Steve, then tell him that I'm having to use my friend's cousin's screen name at the moment.
Prt: See ya.

Phoemeister: Uhm.......why?
Chadd: because this is @#%$ nasty
Phoemeister: hey, I'm offended that you find my lifestyle "@#%$ nasty." What's "@#%$ nasty" is bigots like you!
Chadd: what's nasty is people randomly IMing me telling me to have threesomes with them
Phoemeister: We weren't TELLING you to. I honestly thought you were this guy we met at the aquarium who DID want a threesome with us, thank you very much, and apparently steve did too, cos he was IMing you.
Chadd: I have nothing wrong with you
Chadd: what I have wrong is being IMed like this
Chadd: it honestly scared me
Phoemeister: I still don't understand, though. I was SURE you were this guy who wanted a threesome with us *shrugs*

Number of times "Snow Penis" mentioned in this blog: 5

I'm tired.

If I choose death by cherry coke......304.18

Welp, I never liked mountain dew anyway.

Any drink could kill you

It would take the caffeine of 188.61818168 cans of mountain dew to kill me.

Dew Death Calculator -- find out how much it'd take you to die by dew

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

I'm SO tired of my parents. Every goddamn time I'm the slightest bit irritable they pile on me instead of trying to be considerate. I'm SO mad at them right now. Every fucking time I get mad at them, they're like "Is it because of the Zoloft?" "Is it because you're off the Zoloft?" there's no fucking way I could get mad at them because they're being asses, of course.

My mom asks where Teddy (my sis's dog that they love more than me) got this one toy. I say my sister's boyfriends' family. But of course, since he has two families, I get chewed up because I'm not specific enough. My dad hounds me about it, and won't let it drop. My mom joins in.

Then they wonder why I get upset about it. "Is it going off the zoloft?" No, I fucking quit it like a month ago, and last weekend, when you jerks were actually acting decent for once, I was fine. So I do tell them the reason. "I'm a bit peturbed," I say, "ever since I was told I have to be scoped, and the subsequent arguement where you made me cry, mom."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were over that." God, I was until everyone started picking on me about where a DOG TOY CAME FROM, you assholes.

then, of course my sister didn't know about any of this, so my mom told her about what had happened. Then, she starts telling my sis about what a jerk I (IN HER OPINION) was to the dr. about the scoping.

then, I say I wasn't a jerk to him, and of course mom says I was, and the whole other arguement from before starts up again. Finally, I'm like, "You know what? Let's just drop it. You made me cry last time." And she was like, "No I didn't, YOU made yourself cry."

You know, if I fucking wanted to make myself cry, I'd be even more fucked up than I already am.

So we start arguing over whether or not she made me cry. Over whether or not she made me cry! God, I just want to be left alone at that point.

So I went to my room in the middle of this arguement, and slam the door (which I haven't done since junior high) and sit in my room.

When I leave to use the bathroom, my mom comments, "The dog (also visiting) doesn't like it when you shut yourself away in your room."

FUCK THE DOG. I'M SICK OF THE DOG. People love that dog more than me. They love a DOG, more than me. It's not even their own dog. I wish I were that dog. Then people'd love me. Then I could do whatever the hell I want, because whenever he does anything wrong, "he's just a puppy and doesn't no any better." He's an okay dog, but they love him more thgan me. They love Apolo Ohno, someone they've never met, more than me. Do I have to become a world class speed skater for them to watch me when I open my damn birthday presents? God, now I'm sobbing so hard I can't even type anymore. They've gone to farm and fleet, and i'm here with the dog. Maybe he'll love me.

I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Column. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Well, while 20 will always be known to me as "that birthday where my family paid more attention to my sister's dog and Apolo Ohno than me," it was still halfway salvageable.

1) I got a watch from my roommate, so I have two now. And I wear both of them around. Honestly.
2) I graffitied a bathroom stall (someone had already did it a long time ago, but it was wearing off, so really I just darkened in another's graffiti) and took a photo of it with my new camera. I must've seemed like a real freak, because you can hear the camera going off in the bathroom stall. And when I was leaving, I almost ran into a girl while still wearing two watches, a satisfied smirk, and a camera around my neck. Fun. And really, I think I'm turning into a juvenile delinquent, because I get the same high I do as when I would erase the "CL" on "Class" under my neighbors names on their dry erase board last semester.

Today started out promising.

1) Went and turned in my application to become mass com major
2) Went and applied for Information Systems minor. The ACS (Applied Computer Science) advisor was actually stunningly competant. I appreciate that.
3) Took a photo of the "Robert G. Bone Hand of Friendship" statue from this one angle that I walk by it at all the time, where it looks like it's giving me the finger.
4) Attempted a photo of a squirrel, didn't work so well.
5) Lunch at the potato bar!
6) Dropped English History!

7) Late to come down when my mom picks me up for stomach dr.'s appointment
8) got bitched out. "Come down RIGHT now" "I will." "come down right now" over and over. Dude, I can get down there faster w/o sitting around listening to you telling me to come down.
9) Went there. Dr. seemed leaning towards an ass scoping in the near future.
10) not so happy about that
11) Mom picks a fight about this because she thinks I was rude to the guy about it.
12) She makes me cry, as well as pressuring me to have it during spring break.
13) Come home in tears, roommate comforts me. Buys me rootbeer. I lay in fetal position hugging stuffed dog drinking root beer as best as possible in the fetal position.

Uhm......yea

Since I'm too lazy to blog this conventionally, I'm copying and pasting part of a conversation I'm having on AIM to bloggerbot, so if it sounds like I'm talking to someone, yea, I am.

just came back from hanging out with my family [For my birthday]. It was somewhat depressing. It was my birthday and they STILL paid more attention to the dog to me. AND, the olympics. LIke, when I was opening my gifts, they're all like "Oooh, Apollo Ohno's on!" and didn't even look at me, they were glued to the tube.

And afterwards, there wasn't really much to do, and I went into another room, and no one even noticed for a long time, and then my sis eventually did, but the rents didn't

(other person): ahh well did you at least get good food?

yea. Mmmm cheese fries. And steak. And, I got this brownie thing for free cos it's my birthday

(op): cool they didn't sing to you did they?

heh, I think at that place they will, but my mom asked them not to

(op) aww did you want them to sing to you?

not really, but I almost said "sing to me" just because I was thinking, "isn't this my decision?" :P

....listing what I got, ending with: Camera--for my trip, whee!

......which my mom took a photo of the dog with

(op): you get a camera for your birthday and your mom whips it out to take pictures of the dog and not you?

Uhm.....yep

Oh, and here's a test I took. I originally ended up Succubus ("You're a better ride than pegasus"--especially funny because I got it off of british nutter's blog, and she came up with pegasus)--don't ask me how. But publishing was down, and I had to take it again, and ended up with:


Take the What Mythical Creature are You? test.

Which I am ultimately more happy with :)

And also, I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Collumn. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Welp, I think I'm going to skip philosophy today. 1) I want to get a shower in 2) Man that class blows.

Rationalization aside... Here's my day, Yesterday:

I saw my High School French teacher and a couple people I had in that class. That was fun.

I went out to declare my Major. Which, in order to do so, I have to plan out when exactly I expect to take what. Down to the last detail. Which sucks, because 1) Their filthy smeg of an advisor is supposed to help me with that, but I am forced to do it myself, and honestly--I'm not smart enough for that. 2) If I want to take anything over the summer I have to say so which is difficult because a) the catalogue that says what is offered in the summer isn't available for a few months, which I don't have enough time to wait for that and b) our filthy corrupt smegging bastard of a governor raised taxes and still couldn't make the budget, so now they're pulling money out of a lot of state funded things, including *surprise surprise* Education. Which means ISU is hard up for cash and can't offer many summer classes, so if something's usually available, I can't take that into account. (By the way, ISU would be better served if they stopped their damn "beautification" (ripping up campus to put weird statues that don't look good anyway) or building the new rec (the old one is far away--which is stupid of them to build it there in the first place. People who need excercise so badly should just stop whining and take the damn bus)

Also, I have to write a paper on why I want to be a mass communication major. What is it about academia that makes them make you beg for them to take you in? God, I don't want to beg them, any more than I wanted to beg ISU to take me in the first place. The fact that I went out to see their filthy smeg of an advisor (to give her her props, she's far better than my last filthy smeg of an advisor) in the pouring rain should be proof enough that I want to be in their stupid major. That, and laboriously planning my plan thingy. Enough work, I have plenty. Plus, what am i going to say? About the only thing I can think of to justify my choice whenever anyone asks why is: "Take back the radio!" accompanied by the "Rock n' Roll!!!" sign, and perhaps followed by a what-what?, woo-woo!, ow-ow!, or whoooo!, if I'm feeling especially frisky.

AND, i'm trying to drop my English History class, but the filthy smeg of a professor (who I need to get to sign a slip before I can drop it) was not there during his office hours, tho' I had trekked through the pouring rain to get there. Grrrrr....

On a bright note....today is my birthday! Yeeeea!

Oh, and also, I've found out that to major in mass communications I'm required to have a minor outside the communication department. (Translation: no one will hire you with a Major in mass communication, so you better minor in something useful as a backup)

I'm thinking of maybe Applied Computer Science.

This one idiot told me to minor in acting. Did he NOT get the part about minoring in something useful? And I suck majorly at acting. Well, acting out Yertle The Turtle with a bunch of druggies, anyway. But my high school drama class is a whole other story......

I Wash My Hands of Kool-Aid Though the Stain Remains

I was thinking of doing a good, solid piece on music for alternatune, but 1) no one reads them and 2) I have a headache so I'm not putting out the effort.

Hunh. I wonder if I get any hits from people searching for "putting out."

ooh, there I did it again. Putting out, putting out, putting out!

Anyhoos....today: semi-interesting. At least as interesting as my life gets without something horrible happening. And since I'm not pro something horrible happening...

1) I'm attempting to declare a major in Mass Communications. I called up the department, got their machine, and ended up begging unabashedly for an advisors appointment in order to declare my major before I have to select classes, because otherwise I can't get into any classes. Then, I got a call back to call another number, and start "Grovelling" (as my roommate puts it) badly enough that my roommate starts giggling, which gets me to giggling, which makes it sound as if I'm not serious about the appointment, which I am, I'm desperate enough to be groveling, for heaven's sake. But, I don't blame her. Groveling is pretty funny, especially from me, because I have an attitude problem, and my come-uppance must be amusing. I mean, I was practically this close licking the phone and singing like that scene in Happy Gilmore, when his girlfriend leaves him.

2) Almost killed myself in Philosophy class. Whoever told that woman that teaching = reading handouts aloud in excruciating detail deserves the death of a thousand cuts. And, since I don't want to be branded as the one who always leaves in the middle of class, I stuck it out this time. Oy.... Mental anguish so intense that it was this close to actual physical pain. I actually listened to my headphones the last five minutes of class because I couldnt' stand it anymore.

3) Western Civ - Alright. We saw part of a movie.

4) Psych - took a test. Better than his lectures. Thiiiiiink I did alright....

5) Although I'm still out of a job, Monica wants to know if I'll work over spring break. What balls that woman must have...."Yea, screw you on the whole working during the semester thing, but I need people for break, you game?" Sadly, I AM her whore, and know it, because I am running back like a proper whore. I need the money, man. I figure, sure, my spring break will suck, but I'm earning money for summer and England, which will rock, so it's worth it. Plus, it's a good way to avoid an ass-scoping over break.

6) Attempted to dye my hair, inspired by the finding of Kool Aid I had bought for the purpose months ago and then promptly lost. Kool-Aid makes a nice drink, but as a hair dying method, it sucks. The last attempt at blue streaks yielded pale green splotches. Today, I sport a slightly pinkish streak, which is an improvement I guess. Despite the fact my sheets look like I bled on them now.

Why, you ask, do I continue to use kool-aid? The people at hair salons look at me like I'm an alien when I ask about blue dye. That isn't even the worst though. This woman at wal-mart reacted to the question, "Is there any blue hair dye around here?" as if I had asked, "Hey, could you tell me where the guns and liquor are?" It cracks me up/annoys me, because I really don't look like a badass or anything. If I ever do get my hair dyed properly, I should come back and ask the lady where the liquor and firearms are. If possible, I should carry in a stereo 80's style with Limp Bizkit or Eminem playing as loud as possible. I'm sure I could get myself kicked out/make the first step to a satisfying police record. I'm sure I could up the demographic corellation of badasses and colored hair. And everyone knows rock and rap makes people badasses. Because Wal Mart already thinks I'm a druggie from the time I went there to apply for a job and got the date wrong and told them I like rock music. Boycott Wal-mart!

7) Lying down funny to let the pinkishness soak in gave me a headache. I get too many headaches from my neck not being exactly where it wants to be, dammit.

Because Dilbert's Funny, But Not if You're Living it

After years and years of agonizing over this, I think I've decided to major in Mass Media. Applause

This is because everyone I know (well...actually everyone who knows me. knows me) says I should be a DJ. Or otherwise affiliated with the Radio industry. Why?

Because I love music, and that's what I talk about. Details about artists, trends I notice in radio. This has been looking me straight in the face for years now, but I've not thought of it. Seriously, anyway. Who majors to be a DJ? But then I realized I could work behind the scenes. Maybe even.....*shivers happily* on content. DJ's don't really get a heap of a say. I could shape the minds of the listening public! Well...maybe not. But I'd still get to work with music, which is seemingly the one thing in my life that I'm at all enthusiastic about. And mass media works with TV, too, if I go insane and decide I don't like music. I'm not so big on TV, but I think I'll kind of like it no matter what.

Plusses to majoring in mass media: My trip to england this summer is communication credit.
Minuses: Not sure about the job outlook

My mom want's me to major in business or computers. Obviously, I like computers. But not if my livelihood depends on them. They can be extremely frustrating when they don't work properly, and you're depending on them. Business: ew. just, ew. I don't want to work with numbers, and I don't want to work in a cube. Dilbert is funny, but not if you're living it.

I think this is mainly because she wants me to work at State Farm, who's corporate headquarters are here, and never move away. But, she seems to understand. Because I was like, "What if I don't want to work at State Farm?" She told me to do what I want to do, what I would like doing. Thank you, Mom.

"Make them open the request line,
let selection kill the old
take back the radio"

I changed the rocks to planets. Well, planets, Sol, and a nebula.

"The cruelest lies are often told
without a word
the kindest truths are often spoke
and never heard"

As if I wasn't depressed enough.....

A couple months ago I discovered The Bitter Single Guy. It's a kind of funny love advice column webpage.

And, in one of my moments of extremely stupid temporary insanity, I sent an E-mail question in. I was like, what's the worse that can happen? He'll tell me guys'll like me in a couple more years, like every freaking one else has every year since I hit puberty? I can handle that. But no, I look even more pathetic. And in another round of stupidness, I'm posting my question and answer, although it's embarrassing enough that it's like on the top of his page already.

Question:

Dear Bitter Single Guy,

I have recently discovered your site, and its awesome! Anyway, I wondered if the BSG had any advice for me.

I'm a pathetic loser. I am 20, and no guy has ever asked me on a date. More than that, I'm not even friends with any guys. It's like they avoid me. I don't even know too many guys who are even acquaintances. I'm too shy to ask anyone out that I barely know, and as I don't know many guys.... No one even ever comes on to me. Well, there was this one time in Geology last semester. The guy said I was "precious." But then, one time we were watching a tour group, and he started making aroused cat noises, right in front of me, which I think cancels out the precious thing. He was pretty annoying anyway, he never let me get a word in edgewise.

I know I'm not ugly. I've known far uglier people than me who get dates. I know my personality is a bit quirky, but guys online hit on me all the time.... Most of them are kind of weird, but...... So, this is probably pretty hard to answer, seeing as you don't know me, but I thought I'd give it a try: "why don't guys like me?"

Man Repellent

Answer:

Dear M.R.,

The Bitter Single Guy's heart goes out to your date-less self! It's NEVER good to identify as a pathetic loser! Here's the good news, M.R., at 20, this probably seems like a life ending crisis, but the B.S.G. can tell you that it's not. You will not believe this until you have a few years under your belt, but there it is.

The B.S.G. has one quick thought before rendering his judgment (the B.S.G. is a great fan of Judge Hatchett these days). Don't be so quick to write off Geology Boy. Late teen and early twenty-somethings aren't known for eloquence and all this annoying behavior may be his expression of affection. Or not.

M.R., the Bitter Singe Guy's best advice is to seek the advice of someone closer to you. Based solely on your typing (which seems fine to the B.S.G.) the B.S.G. is hard pressed to tell you why guys don't like you. He suspects, however, that it won't last. Guys, as a rule, aren't terribly discriminating (not to diminish the value of your unique qualities, M.R.!).

Just a final thought because he is interested in leaving no stone unturned. The B.S.G. wonders if the lack of response by boys to your charms is due to some attraction to your own gender? Stranger things have happened! The Bitter Single Guy himself wondered why more girls didn't like him as a late teen, only to find that he really didn't like them either. Just a thought, M.R.

B.S.G.

1) They make you use lame names, so don't blame me for using guy repellant
2) I'm NOT gay, and if I was I bet I couldn't get women either
3) I should settle for anyone, even annoying losers? Because believe me, Geology creep was an ass. I knew him about a year ago, and if I see him downstairs in the dining center I STILL avoid him.

Does my mom have it out for me? And I quote:

"If they decide to scope your colon, we should try and make the appointment for spring break, so we can fit it into your schedule easier."

DEAR LORD. She wants me to spend my spring break getting my ass scoped???? Ah, motherly love.

This is after 3 years ago when she made me get my wisdom teeth out during break, which I got to spend in agony, because they didn't give me strong enough pain drugs afterwards.

I'm beginning to think she really has it in for me. I mean, really....

"What did you do for spring break?"

"I visited my grandparents in Missouri!"

"I went to Fort Lauderdale!"

"I stayed home and chilled!"

"I got my ass scoped!"


I'm fighting it tooth and nail.

Aww.....I'm disapointed, no one's clicked my "donate oral sex" link yet. I thought of donating myself oral sex, just to see how it works, but then I thought, okay, that's kind of pathetic.

Oh, and I'm putting up one of those things where it's an egg that eventually hatches, just for the hell of it, and I've decided I'm especially a dork, because instead of a pretty one, I'm going with this "punk" one. What makes me a dork is that even though I love, and identify a bit too closely with the music, any real punk would kick my ass if they knew me :P I'm just hoping the egg hatches into a cute skater or something :P

An old favorite:



I REALLY wanted to get their old banner ad, which was:

STOP

PISSING

YOUR MONEY AWAY

WITH SOLUTIONS THAT DON'T WORK.

And the kicker..... www.urinetheclear.com, on a white field which slowly turns to yellow as a stream of urine fills it up.

Yay! My folks are back from Florida! And they got me stuff!

- Max Rebo Band Tee-shirt. I already have enough Star Wars Tee Shirts to label me as Uber-geek, but I still appreciate this anyway, it's really cool

- SW keychain: ditto

- Ewok Pez dispenser: ditto, but with the added shame of being a pez freak

- Minnie Keychain

-Mickey Tee Shirt

- All sorts of crap from my dad's convention!
- An armchair for the cell phone they let me use. All I need is a mini tv. Alriiiiiight!
- a ball that lights up when it bounces, though it is not very good at bouncing, it lights up nicely
- This weird dart with a sticky end that looks like a little man. you throw it at things, and it sticks to them
- A clock that sticks to walls and things, I guess
- This really tiny radio

- Crazy french mints that taste kind of like licorice, too

- Crazy british fruit candy. From liverpool! Mmm, liverpool.

This picture is from Talia. When she found it (god, or perhaps the dark one, only knows how) she said it reminded me of her, because both it and I are "quirky." I'm taking it as a compliment :P



I should get one of those programs that lets you print pictures onto Tee shirts, so I can walk around with this on me all day. It would fit well with my www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com tee shirt, and my ever-growing collection of star wars ones :P

Who's fucking pissed off?

Yea, it's me.....

I think i'm out of a job because the bastards at the front desk never told me about a meeting weeks ago..........

See, I thought we just signed up every week or something, because that's what we did the first week after break. I even asked someone if that's what we were going to do (in the communication log) and no one ever answered. But apparently there's a meeting where they determine hours for the semester, and no one fucking told me about it, which means I'm out of a job

And on top of this, the girl I ended up talking to to find out about this is the jerk RA who gave me my undeserved noise violation freshmen year and my deserved lecture for leaving to pee during work a few weeks ago. She's got the most annoying attitude........ My roommate hates her too........ and she was a jerk about this, of course. And, of course, I'm pissed at MONICA, yes, I'm saying her name, (my boss) for not freaking letting me know! Damn them............damn them all! Now I'm not even Monica's whore, I'm like someone who's not good enough to be monica's stupid whore.........

I'm also a bit peeved that my parents and sister, who are living it up in Florida without me right now, who only said like a million times that they'd call me while they were over htere haven't called me, though it's been like a week since they got there.

Good thing: I may not need my lame-ass, fucking-boring, pee-nazi, suckfest, motherfuckingly-incompetant-boss-and coworkers, annoying people to "help, job after all: I had previously been applying for a job as a peer advisor (no, I don't know what they do, but anything's better than my stupid job) and I decided not to do that because I already had a job, so I'm extra pissed, but lately I've been looking into something with ISU's radio station. Sure--no one listens to it, I don't even listen to it, but it could be rewarding. I love music. I had actually thought of joining the WZND team earlier, but was like "they won't let me in." But I 1) hate the job I don't have any more 2) My roommate's prodding (her mission in life is to find me a mission in life) has given me the confidence to investigate. She says I'd be good because I know lots of unknown bands and crap about bands I don't even listen to, and talk about trends in radio and stuff :P So........cross your fingers for me

Good thing: I went out to play pool with my friend Hermione from high school, her boyfriend, and her friend that she was trying to hook up with me. It was fun. I didn't really like the guy all that much, but I liked the pool, and I liked hanging out with Hermione. And my social life is like up three hundred percent, just by going out one night.

I'm becoming a really poor student, too. i haven't done any of my reading for days and days, even though I was already behind from having narcolepsy on that one pill.... Plus 1) I've started napping in classes 2) I skipped psych today because I knew all i'd do is nap in there anyway 3) I walked out in philosophy class today, because she was basically reading her handout in excruciating detail. I went and got myself a smoothie.

Darn me :P I was doing so well last semester, but then I got all boring classes.......

Pong It makes soccer hooligans look like little sissy girls.

Which drink are you?

I'm hurt.

Whoo! 1000 hits today! My friend Talia IM'ed me that she was the 1,000. Otherwise I would've missed the event. Since my little dragon counter is on the bottom now, I forget about it sometimes.

An interesting quote, from Talia. (Partly related to my mom's luggage fixation): "your mom is SO a psychitrist's dream."

Word, Talia. Word.

Wait.......I think the highlight of yesterday was when i was indulging in my propensity for head screwing over the internet, and convinced this one guy that I was a 35 year old podiatrist who has written a highly acclaimed book on foot fungus, and has a hunch back. I eventually felt bad and told him who i really was, though.

I guess I can't resist telling guys I have a hunchback. He's not even the first one. The first one was this guy I convinced I was an aspiring missionary who listens to german hip hop music and has a hunch back. I think that was the most fun--I made up a heap of fake bible verses and quoted them all the time.

I passed out in psych yesterday.

Don't get alarmed, that's just what I call it when I have a nap. This is because I can never nap when I try to, but I'll just like pass out all of the sudden when I'm not trying.

Which I did in psych. And which I do a surprising amount when I'm listening to punk rock. (pop-punk anyway. I've passed out listening to Greenday, MXPX, Blink 182, New Found Glory, and more. I'm strangely proud)

One minute I had my head on the desk, and the next, class was almost over. Then I went home and tried to take a real nap, and was thwarted.

I'd have to say one of the highlights yesterday was at the end of Western Civ. when the overhead projector screen almost hit my prof like 3 times. Like, one half fell, and it started swinging, and another one of the swings almost got him. Then, when the swinging was almost done, the other end fell off with a clatter. Then he was like, "Go home!"

And when I was leaving, I could hear him saying, "Now how many faculty does it take to put up an overhead projector screen....."

I like that guy. He's like the only decent professor I have this semester. He gets excited about his topic, which is a nice cure for the ennui that blankets most things in this place. We were talking about the benefits of livestock at the end of the middle ages, and someone mentioned manure is fertilizer, and he was like "Yea! Farm animals crap all over the place!"

My other classes.......shoot me now

"What do you do when you're just another ancient drag queen?"

Bleed from my arm......

Won't they give it a rest now?

Man......I think it says something scary about you when you keep a "value size" thing of Immodium in your sock drawer.

Which I do.

Damn International Block Scheduling! (IBS)

God I'm miserable.....

:-/ The school system sucks.... I was talking to this guy from Canada (which I had previously thought was like the most wholesome country in the world) and I feel SO bad for him now.....I never knew how lucky I was to be in a small midwestern town school....

And Yea, I realize how stupid most of my comments sound. But what can you say to some of this?

Him: I actually can see an old local KKK house a few blocks away from my house, it's a burnt shell. =P
Me: Ah. My town is pretty much whiteyville USA. But I don't think we have any KKK houses. Peoria (south of us) has a racist group called Church of the Creator, though, and the head guy is always visiting us to spread his filth

Not us personally, us as a town

Creepy
Him: I know police officers by name at my school. They come everyday to make a sweep of arrests.
Me: We had a D.A.R.E. officer at my school.

But then he got arrested for drug abuse

then the next one we got was creepy, he was a touchy feely type *shivers*

And then in high school, we eventually got a cop guy hanging around. Like.....you didn't even need a pass most times, when I started high school, but by after columbine we had hidden cameras and a cop and stuff

Heh, I was a senior by then, though, and a teacher's pet, so i could walk around wherever I wanted even w/o a pass, and no one would give me trouble. We had drug sniffing dogs every month or so..... That's always been that way, tho'
Him: Ah.
Me: we started getting bomb threats senior year too. Well, our school was pretty wholesome, because it was built in the middle of a corn field
Him: Our school is awful. You walk along the edges of the hallways, because you know someones bleed, or vomitted over most of the middle of the hallways.
Me: yuck

Our problem was overcrowding, you'd have to shove your way thru the hallway
Him: Gang brawls are close to real sports events at our school
Me: Yuck. I've seen a few fist fights, but no gang fights
Him: So is the "Drink as much as you can and see how long it takes before security finds you" game. That should be an Olympic event. Soft, blue fuzzy pants get you hospitalized. So does your birthday.
Me: Uhm, why fuzzy pants? And birthdays?
Him: For some reason, people wearing blue fuzzy pants get their ass kicked.

Majorly. And Birthday Beats...I won't go there.
Me: ah. Maybe it's a "gay" thing. This one guy got the hell beat out of him last year on our campus because he was wearing a shiney silver shirt, and they thought he was gay. Ironically, he was on his way to visit his girlfriend
Me: Aww.......that's HORRIBLE. Do you skip on your birthday?
Him: I've never told anyone when my birthday is. I've seen some guys who try to get out of school at the end of their day, on their birthday. True story...the guy ran straight into traffic and got hit by a car rather than stay behind and let the fifty black guys chasing him have a go at him. Guns aren't allowed on school property. But you can smuggle in switchblades pretty easily. Our security guard got fired for having sex with students...so...we don't have one anymore.
Me: Ew.......

Yea, I have a little knife on my keychain, and whenever I'd have my keys out, people'd all act like I was a maniac or something, and to hide it from the teachers. Pfft, like I go around showing teachers my keys anyway. But yea, it's sad when they consider something like that a threat, and they can't even catch switchblade. Jesus......do your parents know what that school's like?
Him: Yep.

They don't like it.

But that's okay.

Because I found a way out of dying.

I broke the auditorium back door slightly. Now I skip classes in there with my friends. Saves me from being in the middle of gang-brawls and indoor snowball fights.
Me: that's a relief......... that school worries me
Him: We stopped having spirit assemblies. We had a riot last time we held one for the football team.
Me: :-/ ......yech

Though pep rallys suck anyway
Him: Yeah.
Me: how many years do you have left?
Him: Someone set off some dynamite two weeks ago in the football field.
Me: Jesus.....
Him: Two.

He blew a nice sized crater in the ground. The janitorial staff quit their jobs.
Me: I hope you graduate as soon as possible.....
Me: No wonder, with all the puke and stuff......
Him: Our bathrooms are puddles of urine.
Me: :-/

And that reminds me of a conversation I had once with this guy from SC. His jaw was actually broken by a group of thugs. And that's not the half of what happend to him..... And I made some smartass comment about how I was glad I was a girl, because they never get beat up in school, and he told me how some girl had gotten raped in a bathroom where he went to school.

Jesus.....I never knew how well I had it. I should stop pissing and moaning about ISU so much......

But he said bah, it doesn't matter to that, so I feel like less of an ass :P

My friend is obsessed with sparking pigs!

I have a lot of pervy friends

Actual sentence from my roommate's russian history book:

"She was very attractive, in a buxom, Slavic sort of way."

It's like they know me!

Should I be offended?





Heh, the most bizzare part, is that if I change my favorite color to green instead of red, I get this:

According to The Barrow Downs, my Middle Earth names are:

Orc name: Thrakburz the Mucous

Hobbit name: Marigold Bunce from Bywater

Elf Name:
Root: Culwath
Female: Culwathiel
Culwathien
Culwathwen

Dwarf Name: Tarin Orcmallet

What would I be?: According to the ancient scrolls of the
Red Book of Westmarch

Phoe was a Irritating Goblin


Niiiiiiiiiiiice.

Welp, haven't posted in awhile. Part laziness, part busyness, shake then stir.

I'm a bit worried this morning. When I wake up, sometimes I'm a bit dizzy, but it isn't wearing off today.

IBS update: Not doing the best, but better than I was. AND, I'm going to start calling it Spastic Colon (SP), that's classier ;) Sadly, I actually found myself conversing about this with a former geology teacher. AND, my mom started quizzing me about it over dinner last night :-/

Slept twelve hours last night, and still, sadly: tired. Note to self: investigate possibility of anemia

This morning, I had to wait around at the "bakery" in the dining center for my bagel. The doughnuts, and nearly everything else there is self-serve, but the bagels aren't ("They're smart enough to retrieve their own dougnuts and brownies, but I seriously doubt they could get something so complex as a piece of (pre-cut) pie or their own damn bagel"). No one was around to get me one :( I thought of yelling "Who do you have to sleep with around here to get a bagel? really loudly, but then I thought better of it.