Sunday, June 30, 2002

MSN Messenger Convos I actually have



Part 1: (in MSN you can change your name and make it really long and stuff, so that's why me and my friend have entire sentences. Both which deal with urine. That tickles me.) Minority Report (a couple scenes mentioned, if you don't like hearing about things first, and want to see the movie, skip this)

To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
I saw Minority Report today with my dad. It was good.
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
DUDE! I saw Minority Report today with my dad and it was pretty good.
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
lol...REally?
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
I didn't see the end coming at all
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
Yea, the 7:00 show
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
Yeah, it was pretty unexpected. I saw it at 3:35. And I liked it. I loved the whole scene in the mall where she's like. "Grab the umbrella...wait for the balloon man...drop some change..." That was great.
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
yea, I loved that!
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
I also loved when the wife comes to see the warden and he's like "how did you get in here?" and she holds up Tom Cruise's old eye
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
lol...Yeah.
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
And the old woman with the plants.
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
I liked the plants too! And when he drops his eyes in the hall and has to go running for them
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
lol...Yeah, that's not something that happens every day.
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
I liked how he was made into a car, and then he pops up and the guys chasing him are all mad
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
Yeah. I leaned over to my dad and said, "Talk about a new car." =P
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
Heh. Oh, and I liked the part where he jumped on that guy and used his jetpack
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
Yeah, and he's like. "Get him off me!"
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
and he's all bitter when they're looking afterwards
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
and the crazy guy who changed his eyes in the first place who was also that crazy russian astronaut in Armageddon
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
Oh really? I didn't notice that.
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
Yep
Phoe-- Ha ha, I'm just taking a leak on you says:
I like when he is all like "Pull the lever" and ben affleck holds up the lever that had fallen off
To Resist is to Piss in the Wind, Those Who Do Will End Up Smelling says:
I like when he's like "Russian parts? American parts? Who cares? They're all made in China!
I saw Minority Report today. Very, very good movie, in my opinion. I expected it to be a straightforward "beat everyone up" movie, but it had twists and turns and stuff. I like being pleasantly surprised.
My Dad's shed is beginning to rot, and be infested with ants and such. Well, not just beginning. It was thoroughly rotted and infested. So, he's having to take off much of the siding and replace it and blah blah blah.... He actually bought it from this one high school that made their advanced shop (excuse me.... Much like Home Ec says they're "FACS (family and consumer sciences)" Shop says it's Industrial Technology now :P) class put these little sheds together, and then they sell them at the end of the year. It's actually lasted him at least almost 20 years, because it's been around as long as I can remember. When we were little, we'd actually play in it during the summer. We had dress up clothes in it, and plastic food, and a plastic oven etc. Some of the neighbor's kids would actually come to play in our shed too. And Dad would take us all on wagon rides through the neighborhood. Now it pretty much houses his weed wacker, christmas decorations, and other miscellaneous stuff.

Aaaaanyhoos, yesterday he bought a whole lot of building materials from Lowe's, and we had to haul them all out of the truck he rented before he had to return it. Part of this involved me getting up on the truck bed and pushing the bricks (he'd gotten for some other project) towards the edge so that he could reach them and carry them away. Thanks to bending over and doing this, today the backs of my legs are killing me. Not only that, I'm suffering severe indignities.

When I walk, I don't limp, because both legs hurt when I walk. So now I convey myself Lurch-style, though a bit more erratic. And (besides going up and down stairs) the most painful thing is probably sitting. There, I have a choice:

1) Slowly. This extends my pain, and I have to lower myself down very old-person like. This is how I have to bend over for things, as well.
2) All at once, flopping in the chair. This gives me a brief burst of intense pain, causing me to sort of exhale "oof," very old person like. So either way, I can't get away from the old-person-ness.

Oh well.... As a neighbor pointed out, I'm 20, in the prime of my life. I have to be a pretty big weanie not to be able to move a few bricks around :P

Saturday, June 29, 2002

My England plane tickets finally came today.

Here is what I have to say:

Boo-ya!!!!!!!!

Oh, and last night I totally had a dream where I saw a movie starring Tenacious D with my dad and sister, and some of the guys from blink 182 were in the movie too, and my dad wanted to know why Nirvana made so much money and my sister was like "Dad, Nirvana made so much money because they were like, our generation's beatles."
Oh, and since I've been mentioning American Gods so much, I just want to say that it's really really good. There are some parts that seemed a bit superfluous, but for the most part it was very very good. It's kind of like Men in Black or Harry Potter in that it's set in the "real world," except there's a lot more going on than most people know about. Anyway, I find that sort of setting to be a little unrealistic (much as I read them and enjoy them anyway) but Gaiman really pulls off the realism. Though part of it may be because so much of it is set in the midwest, where I live, whereas a lot of other books with a similar setting are in big cities which I know nothing about. Anyway, I was a little worried when I first bought it. I've read a couple of his other books, and while Neverwhere rocked, Stardust struck me as something you'd give a little kid, though it's in the regular section and is really big for a kid to want read.

I've also read a couple of Mercedes Lackey books this week. I'm kind of getting tired of her.... I still read and re-read some of her old books, but I'm not enjoying her new books very much. Her characters seem to be flat to me nowadays. And her books keep getting fatter and fatter (which I don't mind on it's own) without the stories being elaborate enough to fill the new space. Anyway, I read the sequel to Knight of Ghosts and Shadows and Summoned to Tourney (Bedlam's Bard if you get them together in one book), and I was really sad because the original two were so great and this one's so dull.

I also read this other one, Serpent's Shadow. The premise is pretty unique, there's this half-indian half-english lady trying to bust through predjudice and become a doctor in England during the 1800's. She actually mainly came there, because something was after her in India, and of course, this being a fantasy novel, magic is involved. Anyway, the ending is pretty anticlimactic, and kind of "why didn't you just do this before the whole buildup?"

Also, it was so damn preachy, which I hate, even if I agree with the preachiness. If you have a message, do it subtly, I say. Though it comes nowhere near the Queen of Preachiness, Ayn Rand (where the characters stop every few pages to give long, self-important speeches about how rich people are good and poor people are poor because they're incompetant and lazy--at least in Atlas Shrugged), I still didn't need to constantly hear about prejudice in the 1800's and how they didn't treat poor people nice throughout the book. It's like, duh.

Also, her villians are beginning to highly annoy me. She writes huge swathes of the novel from the evil person's perspective. Which, wouldn't be that bad if they were the clever villains you love to hate, or some person who isn't entirely evil they have reasons and rationalizations for what they do, though they're still bad. No....her evildoers have started to be Hitler-bad. They enjoy torturing people and stuff. And go on and on about it. Which is 1) a bit creepy, you wonder why she sits there and thinks about this awful stuff and 2) boring after the first couple, because they keep doing the same sort of crap to innocent people over and over again.

Also, I read Catch 22 not long ago. Good stuff--some of the time changes I couldn't follow very well, but I didn't mind. It's funny and sad at the same time, which I seem to enjoy quite a bit.
Oh, an addition to the previous post: (I wanted to add this last night, but it was getting late and I wanted to get to bed)

When I told my Dad about how the people in American Gods left their getaway car at our town, he read me this article in our newspaper about how this guy in California from here (Normal) taught at some high school, and when they found out the name of his hometown, they made an entire play set here, and acted it out. It had something to do with some fictional mayor from here, and a lot of short scenes about other things, like Jesse Fell (he's got a street, and a building at my college named after him, but I don't know what he's supposed to have done), Steak N' Shake, and whatever else. Our mayor thought it was so cool, he actually came down and had a cameo appearance in the play. Which, he and the drama coach pretended he was actually some guy who won a radio contest to be in the play. Anyway, he had a great performance, and they found out he was the mayor, and it sounded really cool.

Oh, AND, in the book, they stopped at Culver's which is another "quaint," midwestern burger chain, and it excited me. Which, if you have the choice between Culver's and Steak N' Shake, I can't tell you enough times to go to Steak N' Shake. My mom's always dragging me to Culver's and I hate it. The deserts they have (mainly why my mom likes it there) are pretty good, but nothing else there is worth ordering or is anything you can't get at Steak N' Shake and have equal or better quality.
Maybe people in big cities don't care, I'm sure, but I'm always way too excited when they mention my town in books. Especially good books. I was reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman this week (very, very good book) and it mentions my town twice. In passing. But it's still cool.

PLUS, very interesting--this one setting in the book kept sounding more and more familiar. It reminded me of somewhere I'd been as a kid, but I couldn't remember the place's name, where it was, or when. But still, as I read more and more descriptions of "The House on The Rock" I had this creepy "deja vu" feeling. The descriptions involving dolls, and most of it being underground started the feeling, and I was convinced by the time they got to "the largest carousel in the world."

I kind of started describing it to my mom, and she immediately was like "Oh, the House on the Rock. I love that place, I saw it once as a kid, too." It blew me away, it was so cool.

Anyway, that's how my brain works.

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

When Worlds Collide



One of the most unpleasant things to do: get caught in a lie.

Which, I almost did last night.

Setting: My Mom and I were in the bookstore last night. We used to go there a lot, but this summer I've been going to the library more, because I'm trying to save money for my trip to England. Speaking of which--two of the people going on the trip with me (actual grown ups, one of them works for the paper or something) see me, and all start up a conversation. I introduce them to my mom.

Background: Normally, when worlds collide like this, I don't care. I am an upstanding citizen, for most intents and purposes. I don't drink, smoke, have sex, or party. The only time my parents know of that I skipped class, I spent the time writing a research paper for another class. I've never even had a traffic ticket in my entire life.

Unfortunately.... I want to hang out with Wanda. I met her on the internet, but we've known each other for over 3 years now, and we're practically best friends. How can I go to England and not meet her? So.... since the prof said we could come early for a small fee, and I wouldn't have to pay for housing if I stayed at her house....... I added 3 days onto my stay in England. I didn't want to ask, because I'm pretty sure my mom thinks everyone on the internet is serial killers. I didn't want to screw up the wonderous miracle that she even let me go on this trip at all by even asking about Wanda, because I can see my mom being all like "That's the only reason you want to go there. No, you're staying here." Though I've wanted to go even before I knew Wanda. I shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, have tried pulling this off. Why risk the most fabulous trip EVER for something stupid like this. I get my weekends and nights free, Wanda and I probably could've hooked up at some point, without the scheming..... *sigh* But I honestly didn't think it would be that hard, just to add 3 days onto a trip of 3 weeks.

Other near misses: The proffessor almost inviting my parents to the group barbeque. My mom almost calling him up to see why HE doesn't provide transport to the chicago airport (which, he wouldn't even if I wasn't going early), my mom almost calling him up to see why he prefers debit cards to credit cards. The travel agency sending me conformations with "deviation" practically stamped ALL OVER THEM, and my mom fortunately not thinking about it. But over all, the strain hasn't been too bad.

Last night: DEAR LORD. We're still waiting for the damn tickets in the mail. Mom: "We still haven't gotten the tickets." Trip People: "Oh, he keeps them for you, unless you're going early." D'oh, D'oh, D'oh. I think I might've fixed this one by saying after they left that I thought they were wrong. All I can think of is if the stupid tickets don't arrive soon, I can't even call anyone about it, because my mom will all be like "well he has them."

They told her that the group meets you at the airport. My god, I'm going to have to fake, fake, fake acute embarrassment at being seen with them by the group, or else they'll refuse to leave me until they know I'm with the group, because I know they think I'm a half-wit who couldn't get on an airplane by myself, and they'll be looking around for a group that won't be there.

A parting shot as they left: "See you in almost a month." Bless those people for not saying "On the 20th."

But then, the nightmare still isn't over. We go to checkout just when they do. They end up talking to one of the checkers, who had gone on this trip before. And they were talking about how SHE'D gone early. On the 16th. Which, is only a day earlier than I'm going. If my mom overheard that, she'd prolly have some questions. But apparently she was paying more attention to what she was buying. Also, I loudly crinkled and swung the bag carrrying my purchases around, trying to drown out the conversation. Weak, weak defense.

The Guilt: They also mentioned how nice I seemed, for making an effort to talk to the shy girl at the barbecue. And how my group was studiers instead of the people who came last time that partied every night.

Now: I am so freaking worried. What are the ODDS? What are the odds we run into someone else out somewhere? The proffessor: infinately worse to run into than those two. Also, the girl who drove me home from the barbeque, who I told about my plan (except for the fact that it's a covert plan), as small talk. Or if she's out somewhere ALONE and sees the original people somewhere. Geez.... Why did I think I could do this? I even suck at small lies, what made me think I could pull off something like this? Before the month is up, I'm SO going to have an ulcer to go with the IBS

The ONLY good that can come of this: The woman warned me about a lack of towels in dublin. I shall bring towels now.

Sunday, June 23, 2002

Angry White Girl Productions is proud to present the first in a series of

AIM Conversations I Actually Have



Part 1: "Funkytown"

Moi: Yea. There's lots of Normals and Bloomingtons (the town I live in)
Moi: and Springfields
Moi: and Rockfords
Moi: the only original sounding one we have is Chicago
Talia: yeah, I think there's a few < where she lives > out there as well

Moi: Yea. Damn non originality
Talia: they need more original names,, like Spootville
Moi: Yea. Or Achawoowoo
Moi: And I'm not even trying that hard
Tal: or Looloonome
M: Or Funkytown
M: Then that song would make a lot more sense
T: possibly but who would live in Funky town?

M: I would, dammit
T: just to piss your mom off hehe
M: As much as I tire of "Normal" jokes when i introduce myself, I'll NEVER get tired of Funkytown jokes.

LOL, you're right. She WOULD have a cat. Especially since it's something stupid to have a cat about.
T: especially if she had to write that every Christmas on a card or something hehe
M: ROFLMAO. Oh my god, I just HAVE to found a town called Funkytown, if only for that one single purpose
M: And you have to move there too. Don't you want your children to grow up in good, wholesome, me-founded Funkytown? They'll surely appreciate disco more.
T: ::laughs:: hmmI don't know, I think < her guy > would prefer something named dark or something like that
M: What's more dark and scary than Disco, Polyester, and platform shoes? Huh? Huh?
M: And 'Fros. Don't forget 'fros.
T: uhh Death?
M: I think even death would blanch at one of those bright yellow leisuresuits
T: quite possible

M: And screw what he wants. Make him come anyway. Incessently beg "Won't you take me to....Funkytown? Won't you take me to....Funkytown? After awhile he's bound to give in :P
T: ::LAUGHS:: or beat me to death
M: Either way, it resolves the issue. I'd have you buried in Funkytown.

Then, we go into the possiblities of Wanda joining us if we threaten to show the world the photos of her boinking that kangaroo, but the shameless hussy probably wouldn't care. And, I want to keep this page classy.

Thursday, June 20, 2002

Wednesday, June 19, 2002


People were dropped into you, and basically deep-fried to a golden brown. It probably takes a little while for you to lose your temper, but when you do...

What torture would you be?


The result that came next closest:


A person was tied to you, then weighted down onto the impaling spikes or beaten with sticks. Yeesh. Go overboard much when you're upset?

What torture would you be?


Hmm....I'm harsh :P (but actually, not too bad compared to some of the stuff)
Do you know what's fun?

singing in falsetto
Yaaaaay, I've been linked to again. Yay.

Aaaaanyways--my day.

Good: Finally managed to get Catch 22. Am enjoying it, though it is the teensiest confusing at times.

Bad: Mom. I went down to Peoria with my mom and sis to re-try on my maid of honor gown for my sis's wedding, and have alterations done if any be needed. (Which they weren't. Yay, one less trip for me to go back there) AND...... *dum* *dum* *dum* pick out shoes. Okay, am I crazy to not want to wear a painful shoe? Am I really ruining an entire wedding by wearing the wrong shoe?

I hate shoes. They're itty bitty torture devices that women have somehow been brainwashed into likeing and, in a fit of irony, actually paying for the privilege of experiencing agony at the hands...err....soles....of these horrible abominations.

Anyway, I was expecting some sort of conflict to arise from this, as the last time we discussed it there was an immense conflict. I was especially pissed/hurt by my mom's "explaining" to me after the first arguement not to fuck up my sister's wedding because "females like weddings." female. She used the word female. Not only does it make her sound like a jackass, the logic behind it is pretty much that I'm NOT a female. What am I? Neuter or something? Because I don't want kids, wear makeup, or shave my legs over frequently? Geez, if I would've known I was neuter, I would've given up pining away for men a long long time ago. And it pisses me off that she thinks I'm going to ruin my only sister's wedding somehow.

Anyway, I didn't love the shoe they picked out for me. Because it hurt. Considerably. They all acted like I was a jerk. GEEZ. It's not as if 10 minutes later the saleslady steers us towards some equally suitable shoes that I could stand.

The BIG thing came when I wanted to wear my bra (as opposed to the bra I'm wearing that day) with the dress when I was trying it on. My mom got all in a huff saying that things had to be *exactly* like they would on the wedding day. I said "Fine, but it isn't going to make any difference." She's like "It has to be the same. Switch bras." And I was like "I said fine. I've already given in. But it isn't going to make any difference." And of course she repeats her thing again, and I repeat my thing again, and we're yelling, pretty much. I know I was being childish, but I SEE RED when she orders me around like that. ESPECIALLY, when I've given in and am going to do what she wants anyway, despite getting in my little parting shot. My sister pretty much thinks I'M the jerk. Okay, I'll admit to being a jerk, as long as someone realizes mom is one too. But NO ONE EVER DOES. They're always all on her side, because they KNOW she'll make them suffer if they're not.

Afterwards, we got in the car (we were going to have dinner in peoria before going home) and were on our way to the restaurant, and she starts into me again, about how horrible I am for hurting her feelings by yelling at her. Me: I did it because you were yelling at me, *another argument ensues* Her: Fine. Let's just go home (as opposed to stopping for dinner). She's ALL about "getting too upset to do things she'd like to do in order to make you feel guilty and beg her to do them though she wants to anyway and is just screwing with your head." I wasn't in the mood, so I didn't say a word. Afterawhile, without ANY prodding, she's all like "I'll get sick if I don't eat, let's go there anyway." (The rationale being that she has to keep her blood sugar at a certain level, and if she didn't eat soon, it would go too low). Fuck that. It was only about 5, it only takes an hour to get back from peoria, and we generally eat at 6 anyway, most days.

Anyway, when we get back, I all tell dad about the good aspects of the trip. Then, the SECOND she gets alone with him she starts badmouthing me to him. Which pisses me off because she got all mad at me for badmouthing her in private to him awhile ago. Well jesus, at least I do it in private. She very well knows I can hear it when she badmouths me. Anyway, she's all like saaaad, and all "oh, she yeeeelled at me." I yelled into the room they were in "yea, well she did it to me first" (which she still is not admitting that she yelled at all) and dad is all "If I punched you in the nose, it wouldn't make it right for you to punch me in the nose." And I was like, "Yea, but it's especially wrong if you acted all innocent after I punched you back, like she's doing."

All I want to say is I want to move away from here SOON and FAST.

God, I KNOW this post has the emotional content (AKA "Whineyness and/or profanity") and grammer of an 8th grader, but I'm too tired to make it better.

Monday, June 17, 2002

Heh, again: because I have no life: my logs:

for "crack cocaine dildo" I'm no. 4

And two hits for foriegn curse words, which I seem to get pretty high on. Off the top of my head, go to www.insults.net, people. It has all sorts of curse words in foreign languages. Even Swedish for "Wanking Gnome." I LOVE that.

Sunday, June 16, 2002

Woot! I've been linked to!. That always gives me a happy squidgy feeling inside.
(Especially since ever since Alley Writer linked me, that's where 90% of my hits come from.

Anyway, hilarious site logs, I can't help but mention:

I'm no. 1 for "curious sex position gallery" And they were searching in german, too.

no. 12 for "pants falling down in public pictures"

no. 9 for "weird things girls use to masterbate"

And mentioning it on here will get me even more cool hits like that, I'm sure :P

Saturday, June 15, 2002

Why do I even bother? If anyone remembers my previous post about going over to my sister's to help carry bricks and stuff, could you PLEASE explain to me why I thought it would be different when I came out there yesterday to help them build the stairs to her porch?

When I came over, I screwed in a few screws. I've never used a power screwdriver before, it was kind of fun. After that, there was nothing for me to do for a long time. Finally, Dad came up with a "job" for me to do, some of the old parts of the railing needed some screws in, because they were kind of loose and he didn't think that the nails the contractor originally put in were getting the job done.

However, they weren't ready for my "job" for awhile. I kept asking and asking when to do it, making a general nuisance of myself. "Are you ready yet? Are you ready yet? Are you ready yet?" After awhile, I realized I was being a nuisance, so I went in to watch TV until they were ready for me to do my "job." Then, my Mom and Grandma come. They go into the kitchen and talk for a tiny bit, and then troop into the room I'm in, sit all around me, and start talking more. So, without including me in their damn conversation, giving me something to do, because they've certainly fucked up my TV watching by coming out where I was to talk, they go on with their conversation. Finally, I'm like, "Should I go downstairs to watch TV, then?" and they're like "yes."

So, I finish "Grumpy Old Men" in the basement. I come up to see how far they're coming with the porch, and if they're ready for my "job." And they did my job. They did my fucking job. They did the whole reason I was there for the last two and a half hours without me. I was pissed. And hurt. I leave them alone to get the stuff they had to do first done, and they do it without me. And it's obvious I cared, I only asked them 80 times before going in to watch TV when they'd be ready, and it kept being "a couple minutes." And I would've been able to check in, or be found a whole hell of a lot easier if the other half hadn't forced me down into the basement.

Dad said I could do something else, so I waited awhile. And they kept not being ready. And I'm thinking "Screw this. They don't need me anyway. They didn't even need me for what I did earlier. I'm basically here to play with power tools. It's not worth it to wait for another several hours, especially considering if I go to watch TV that I'll be screwed again." So I said nevermind and left. But it hurt. I'm probably irrational, but it really hurt my feelings. So: Note to Self: Do not become involved in any more home improvement projects at sister's house.

Thursday, June 13, 2002

My IBS has been acting up a lot lately....... I know no one wants to read about irritable bowel syndrome, but these last couple years, it's one of the main parts of my life.

Anyway, I was sitting on the toilet, thinking while having my massive pain. I mean, I think of this first thought a lot: that I'm in the freaking prime of my life, and I still have a painful disease, and it pisses me off, but then I thought of another thing.

I thought of the time that me and my roommate were watching "As Good as it Gets." There's this scene, where Jack Nicholson's character comes out of therapy into this room of mentally ill people and says, "What if this is as good as it gets?"

My roommate remarked that that's a horrible thing to say to someone with mental problems. And I made some crack about how I'd be pissed if someone said it to me (I have only 1 real friend, an overbearing mother, bureaucracy that's constantly screwing me, I live in a tiny hole next to obnoxious neighbors (this was a little while ago), and I don't like anything that I'm studying)

And she turned to me, and was like, "Isn't it? I mean, I'd like to own my own house (I'm thinking, good luck with that, she wants to be a teacher, and they have the crappiest credit ratings ever), but this is pretty much it."

I would cry if my life is as good as it gets. I'm sure I'm a selfish bastard considering all the people with worse problems, but sitting on the toilet for half of my life? And never having a man in my life, even? When I die, I do not want to be able to say I spent more time on the toilet than with someone I loved. That I've plugged up the toilet more times than I've been kissed.

And they tell me that most girls my age with IBS eventually grow out of it (my one ray of hope, since not one of their stupid medicine's have helped me) but is it true? Will I? Even so, do I want to spend my twenties like this? I'm already so fucking sick of being sick, can I take much more of this? God I'm depressed right now.

Sunday, June 09, 2002

Whoa, I'm so ashamed. In the posts yesterday, I failed to mention that I went to THE TREMONT TURKEY FESTIVAL.

Yes, they even have their own website.

What, you ask, is THE TREMONT TURKEY FESTIVAL? Well, I don't know how it is in most other states and/or countries, but Illinois and the other largely rural midwestern states are all about "festivals." Every little dinky (and even some of the not so dinky) town has their own festival. My town has a "corn festival" (not very unique, other towns have that). Nearby town Morton has a "pumpkin festival." Clinton has a "pork and apple festival." Tremont went for alliteration, and turkeys.

What, you ask, is one of these festivals like? Well, except for each particular festival's little gimmick, they are mostly alike. Crafts, including little geegaws, wreaths, little wooden cutouts, and magnets and signs with such "sassy" phrases on them as "A Spoiled Rotten Dog Lives Here" or "The Butt Stops Here. Put your cigarette out before coming in." Some of the magnets were a bit more clever (and original--lots of the signs from stall to stall featured the same mottos) than the signs, featuring slogans like "to err is human, but it's against company policy" (my dad bought that one for his office) . Both signs and magnets feature many references to fishing. There's always lots of little toys and things for the kids. A lot of the stalls are similar to each other, but every so often you find a cool one with an original idea.

Differences: One difference is parking. Though we have to walk a little way, we can usually find somewhere in the same zip code to park our cars at for THE TREMONT TURKEY FESTIVAL, whereas it is a complicated and exhausting process finding parking at "the pork and apple festival." "The pork and apple festival" is also a bit more differentiated in what it sells, if I recall correctly they have fancy pencils you can buy, and some other stuff. It's been awhile.

Another difference is "The Gimmick." "The Gimmick" can affect the festival in many ways, but first and foremost is food. If you name your festival after food, you should probably serve that food. "the pumpkin festival" is especially cool that way, because not only do they serve the obvious, pumpkin pie, they've managed to come up with all sorts of pumpkin dishes, including pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin bread, and pumpkin muffins. And they're actually good too. THE TREMONT TURKEY FESTIVAL, serves turkey sandwichs, though they also have hot dogs and burgers around for those who're not fond of that. They also have this strawberry shortcake thing that's pretty good. The corn festival: hot buttered corn on the cob, baby.

The gimmick is also evidenced in other things. For example, until they got frightened about liability, the pumpkin festival used to launch pumpkins off of cranes. I think there was some contest involved there. There are also secondary gimmicks, such as the THE TREMONT TURKEY FESTIVAL's, bed race, where people alter bed frames so that they can race them downhill. They also have a one on one basketball tournament, and some carnival-style rides for little kids.

Thanks to these festivals, we have all sorts of crazy crap. My mom, especially, goes for the wooden cutouts of things. My dad's gotten a squirrel feeder from one of them, and in 1999 he bought a whole set of weiner roasting forks from the Turkey Festival. I'd say my sister is the most immune from the pull of the festival, as I buy all sorts of crap from them. From the last Corn Festival I've been to ('97), I got an ankle bracelet (never worn again) and a tie-dyed alien tee shirt (worn extensively). But I'd have to say the crown jewel in my novelty tee-shirt collection is my 1998 TREMONT TURKEY FESTIVAL's tee shirt, featuring a turkey in swimming trunks carrying a surfboard, with Tremont Turkey Festival '98 emblazoned on the front for all to see.

I love that tee shirt. When I first got it, I'd make people compliment it all the time, and make goofy jokes about it and such. I actually wore it to the festival yesterday. I'm a hardcore turkey festival fan. Also, people open up to me in it. One time at the school cafeteria, the woman at the cash register told me this whole story about how this guy she knew got drunk and tried to steal some of the frozen turkeys and these guys beat him up. Honest.

I got the '99 shirt the next year, but it just wasn't the same. I wasn't going to get an '02 one, but I couldn't help it, they're so classy this year. They even have a webpage now, with the URL on the back. Whoo!

Saturday, June 08, 2002

55%
I am 55% worshipable! And you? Find out!

Find your Role-Playing Stereotype at mutedfaith.com. [Angel.]

Make an Ass of Yourself.
quiz by Sol



Lately: I've been having a whole heap of weird dreams and forgetting to write them down, and since I'm bored, and have nothing better to post:

This one's from awhile ago, but it's so hilarious, I don't want to forget it: I had a dream that me and my roommate were doing pot. Not so weird, unless you know me, and know I have a stick up my butt when it comes to drugs, and refuse to try them etc. etc. Anyway, the humor's in the details. In my dream, my roommate (almost as puritanical about drugs as I am) was a pothead, she did it all the time, owned her own bong and everything. In the dream, I'd only done it once before, but for some bizarre reason I had a bong too. And we're sitting there, smoking pot, and my mom comes over and we have to hide the bongs. We put them in the closet, but that was a bad idea because she kept wanting to look in there.

Okay, not so funny. The End.

Then, I had this dream where Denzel Washington was giving me and a couple other people singing lessons. Only, he was really really mean to me because I couldn't sing very well, and everyone else was better than me. He thought I wasn't trying, but I just couldn't sing that well. The End.

Last night, I had this dream where there was a college class on Incubus. I'm not even talking about folklore, the band Incubus. Don't ask me why. And the professor was this guy I had for East Asian history last year. And for some reason, we were kicking off the semester with some weird field trip on a train. Only on the way there, the train kept almost running into things. Don't ask me how a train can run into a whole lot of things, that's just how the dream worked. The End.

Okay..... these are dumb. I'm done.

Thursday, June 06, 2002

YES. Weblog FAQK

Brunching Shuttlecocks strike again.
Well, the last few days I've been playing adventure computer games.

re-playing adventure games. I'm such a loser.

For anyone who doesn't know (since the breed has largely died out) adventure games are part story, part game. You have a character, and he/she goes around solving things. And they aren't like puzzle-puzzles like Myst or something where you have to move stone blocks around to make a pattern, they're logic puzzles, where you go around talking to people and picking up stuff to meet your mission. The most popular of these is probably the KingsQuest series, if that rings a bell.

Anyway, I miss those so badly...(they don't come out much anymore, so I re-play a lot of the old ones) Arcade things where you just kill things really aren't my style, I have trouble getting into them (not that killing things occaisionally in the game is bad, the Quest For Glory series is one of my favorite). Adventure games are so great, because they tell a story, and challenge your brain. Sierra's (the biggest name in Adventure games) has largely discontinued all of their popular series, though they obviously must not be as popular as I thought (anymore, anyway) because otherwise they wouldn't discontinue. Their most popular series, Kings Quest--they made the last game into one of the video games I've mentioned above, pretty much ruining it. Quest for Glory was brought back for one more game, from popular demand. This last "extra," very nearly was another crappy video game*, as was one of the SpaceQuests (especially unsuited for the video genre, it's charm was largely derived from humor and the goofy protagonist, space Janitor Roger Wilco). that ended up being canceled altogether,

Lately, I've been playing the funny ones. Revolution Software's Broken Sword: Circle of Blood and Broken Sword: The Smoking Mirror are the best. Circle of Blood does not sound humorous, but it makes me laugh so hard. The basic premise is: You're this guy named George Stobbart, and this guy gets murdered by a clown right in front of you, and then you're determined to solve it, (some spoilers after this, if you ever plan to play the game) and you trace it to this ancient order of assassins, the hashiashin(sp?) from which the actual term assassin came from, only it turns out the clown (who also murders another guy, dressed up as a pixie instead of a clown this time) is a good guy, because the people he's killing is this crazy cult bent on world domination based on the ancient order of Christian knights, the Knights Templar. (The Knights Templar are kind of french people's king arthur. One of their kings made the pope excommunicate and burn all sorts of them at the stake just to get their money, but the templar treasure was never found.)

So as well as the humor, it has "history dork" element that I appreciate. One of my favorite parts is you keep carrying around this used tissue and showing it to people, and they keep being like "you freak!" and in the sequel, you put this whole tripod thing down your pants. And people keep saying weird things in funny accents.

I'm also enjoying LucasArts Monkey Island series. Mucho amusing.

Yep. My life is that boring.

______
* Not all video games are crappy, but the ones Sierra attempts are not a credit to the Video genre, or any genre.

Monday, June 03, 2002

Okay I'm totally obsessed with logs: But I just have to say: I got a referral about the Jarod subway diet. Tee hee.

Addendum 2 Jarod hits

Oh and I'm sorry about the insanely long color profile post below. I just want to be able to look at it again sometime, and I'm too stupid to remember any urls but my own.

Dear lord. I promise to start trying to be interesting again once school starts.

Red: 9/100 Blue: 18/100 White: 9/100 Yellow: 9/100

Take the Color Code Test
by Dano


Red: 9/100 Blue: 18/100 White: 9/100 Yellow: 9/100

BLUES:
The do-gooders


Life cannot bestow on anyone
a more gratifying reward
than the sincere appreciation
and trust of a Blue friend.



Blues Are Motivated by Altruism
Blues love to do nice things for others. They look for opportunities to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. Selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Many Blues are uncomfortable doing things solely for themselves. They hold doors open for people, offer rides when someone's car breaks down, contribute to charities, even devote their entire lives to helping others.

Blues Seek Intimacy
More than anything else, Blues want to love and be loved. A true Blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Once considered solely a female characteristic, this nurturing is more accurately understood as a Blue personality trait.

Blues Crave Being Understood
Blues are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. They are notorious for revealing their inadequacies, because they value being known and understood so much. In the eyes of a Blue, being vulnerable is a small price to pay for the chance to connect emotionally. Blues may have their hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love.

Blues Need to Be Remembered and Appreciated
With Blues, a simple pat on the back will not suffice. Blues expend such great effort in making the world a better place that sometimes they need to be told how wonderful they are. They need to be thanked and specifically remembered for their good deeds. They need sincere gratitude. They delight in being remembered on birthdays and other special days, especially if the remembrance is personal--a homemade anniversary card, a welcome home party, a special day that isn't on the calendar. Blues need tender loving care.

Blues Are Directed by a Strong Moral Conscience
Blues are motivated to behave in a proper, appropriate manner. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgments, even their leisure time. Blues enjoy being "good." Of all the personality colors, Blues come equipped with the strongest sense of integrity. A Blue would rather lose than cheat. Blues are trustworthy. Ethically, Blues are the people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.



Blues are the most controlling personality.

They are fiercely connected to the lives they live

and often appear to be emotionally unstoppable,

as though on a mission from God.




Blue Strengths

AS AN INDIVIDUAL

Sees life as a serious endeavor.

Appreciates beauty and detail.

Has a strong aesthetic sense.

Stable and dependable (plowhorse versus racehorse.)

Sincere and emotionally deep.

Analytically oriented (concerned with why one behaves as he/she does.)

High achiever

Deep sense of purpose.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Able to enjoy sensitive and deep conversation.

Strong skills in empathizing with others.

Remembers feelings and thoughts shared in conversation.

Willing to give conversations time to run their course.

Prefers small groups.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Highly disciplined.

Receptive to other suggestions.

Strong goal orientation.

Plans well and follows through superbly.


AS A CAREER PERSON

Excellent behind-the-scenes worker.

Respectful of employer because of employer's position.

Enjoys detail and schedules.

Receptive of creating thinking in others.

Gives more of self than required or expected.


AS A PARENT

Encourages academics and/or trade development in children.

Excellent trainer of skills (e.g., manners, study habits.)

Very observant.

Empathic & sensitive.

Sincerely loyal to children.

Excellent in long-term commitments.

Keeps home clean & cozy.

Sincerely seeks to understand children's behavior.

Self-sacrificing.


AS A CHILD

Proper & behaved.

Easily disciplined verbally.

Concerned about being a good family member.

Sensitive & concerned about other family members.

Loyal to parents and siblings regardless of quality of relationship.

Seeks learning opportunities.


AS A FRIEND

Loyal forever once friendship is established.

Genuine concern for other person's well-being.

Remembers special holidays and promotes celebrations.

Encouraging in times of trouble.

Willing to commit time to the relationship.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Gives the relationship priority over other activities.

Values intimacy and places high priority on it.

Considers spouse first in decision making.

Responsible for making ongoing contribution to relationship.

Enjoys sharing intimacy and places high priority on it.





Blue Limitations
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Highly emotional.

Smug & self-righteous.

Controlling and/or envious of others' success when too easily obtained.

Strong perfecting and performance orientation.

Verbally self-abusive.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Has intensely held opinions on many issues.

Tends to lecture and overdiscuss issues.

Rigid with principles and unwilling to negotiate.

Fears risking self in conversation.

Argues primarily from emotional perspective.

Strong expectations for others to be sensitive & deep.

Expects others to read his or her mind & know his or her feelings.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Sets unrealistically high goals.

Easily discouraged when unsuccessful in accomplishments..

Easily frustrated by lack of team cooperation.

Expects others to understand his or her goals and make them a priority.



AS A CAREER PERSON

Feels others are not capable of doing things as well as he or she.

Craves security in career.

Feels inadequate with natural talents and creativity.

Shies away from public exposure and performance.

Establishes high and often unrealistic expectations for self and others.

Tends to overplan and overprepare.

Critical of others' work and of self.

Overextends self.


AS A PARENT

Blames children for being unappreciative of parenting efforts.

Can be moody and unpredictable.

Easily irritated by mistakes and shortcomings of others.

Usually loves with strings attached.

Tends to give heavy doses of guilt to children.

Lacks ability to relax.

Requires a purpose in order to play.

Controlling and overprotective of children.

Too precise and exact with expectations.

Feels a clean home is a high priority.

Accepts guilt feelings too easily and readily.

Not spontaneous with activities.

Frustrates children with unrealistic expectations.

Strong sense of right and wrong--badgers children if convinced they may be wrong.


AS A CHILD

Easily frustrated.

Feels guilty over minor concerns.

Moody and emotional (cries instead of facing issues rationally).

Feelings are easily hurt.

Martyr-like and complains about life.

Self-esteem is dependent on outside influences.

Has difficulty relaxing and often feels uncomfortable.

Withholds affection if angered (pouts).

Waits for parent to initiate ideas an then criticizes unacceptable suggestions.


AS A FRIEND

Highly insecure about other's acceptance and approval.

Feels rejected easily.

When depressed or depressive, feels it is friend's job to understand.

Can be revengeful and bitter if crossed or scarred emotionally.

Critical of friends' principles or activities if not similar.

Expects friends to maintain strong loyalty.

Wishes friends would communicate more often.

Rarely playful and spontaneous.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Blames others for his or her unhappiness (if only you were more...").

Demands affection and intimacy.

Demands time and attention of partner.

Highly manipulative in seeking support or understanding.

Suspicious of others' motives (distrustful).

Unforgiving of past misunderstandings and wrongdoings.

Clings to companion too much.

Withholds feelings when frightened he or she may be rejected.




CAREERS MOST LIKELY TO ATTRACT BLUES

Teacher, Banker, Nurse, Homemaker, Clergy/Minister, Engineer, Psychotherapist, Accountant, Librarian, Computer Programmer, Politician, Journalist, Musician, Architect, Carpenter.




PERSONALITIES WHO APPEAR TO BE BLUES

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: Renowned for his trademark of fairness, he always sought the most noble path that would benefit all parties, if possible. He sought truth as a guiding principle in his personal and professional relationships.

PRINCESS DIANA: Always dresses appropriately, she carried herself with dignity and class. Emotions ruled her life, and she rendered herself vulnerable to the general public, continually gaining sympathy and support for herself and her causes.

WALT DISNEY: A creative genius, he loved the process more than the bottom line and relished design and details.






BLUE NATIONS

United States
England
Denmark





How to Develop a Positive Connection with Blues

Do:

Emphasize their security in the relationship.
Be sensitive and soft-spoken in your approach.
Be sincere and genuine.
Behave appropriately and well mannered.
Limit their risk level.
Promote their creativity.
Appreciate them.
Allow ample time for them to gather their thoughts before expressing themselves.
Be loyal.
Do thorough analysis before making presentations.


Don't:

Make them feel guilty.
Be rude or abrupt.
Promote too much change.
Expect spontaneity.
Abandon them.
Expect them to bounce back easily or quickly from depression.
Demand perfection (they already expect too much from themselves.)
Push them too quickly into making decisions.
Expect them to forgive quickly when crossed.
Demand immediate action or quick verbal bantering.




Recommended Time-Management Tips for Blues

Thinks rationally rather than reactively when pressured. Emotionalism can create chaos and unnecessary distress.

Clearly state your limits when others impose deadlines on you.

Settle for less. Perfectionism often narrows your focus, causing you to ignore other important aspects of your life.

Don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself or others to the extent that everyone feels overwhelmed. Simply see goals as road markers rather than criteria for success.

Don't personalize your interactions with other people. Blues often suffer from feeling let down by others or from quitting because they let others down. Concentrate on the task at hand rather than becoming emotionally discouraged or critical.

See time management as a compromise rather than "all or nothing." If you fail to meet a deadline, learn to punt. It will free you to be more creative and less self-critical.

Realize that there are limits to what you can control. You cannot control other people.

Set a ten-minute time limit to worry about any topic in the day. When your time is up, so is your worrying. Get on with living in the present moment and doing what you can do rather than focusing on what is our of your control.



"If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back, they're yours;
if not, hunt them down and kill them!"


REDS:
THE POWER WIELDERS
Reds have the most dominant, intimidating personality.
Expressing themselves emotionally is uncomfortable
and creates the vulnerability they typically avoid.


Reds Are Hungry for Power
Simply stated, Reds want their own way. If they have been raised in environments where they were able to manipulate their parents and siblings, they become difficult to manage as they get older. When they have gotten their way for too long, Reds find it almost impossible to relinquish their power and freedom when they meet authorities in society (teachers, bosses, police, clergy, military officers) who refuse to grant them the total control they demand.

Reds Want to Be Productive
Reds like to work --- in school, in their careers, and in their relationships. Just don't expect them to attach the same importance to things other people care about --- like other people's schooling, careers, and marriages. But give them a reason to produce and watch them take off. Reds like to get the job done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist being forced to do anything that doesn't interest them.

Reds Want to Look Good to Others
Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave approval from others for their intelligence and insight. They want to be respected even more than they want to be loved. They want to be admired for their logical, practical minds. When you deal with a Red, be precise and factual. Reds are unmoved by tears and other displays of "weakness."

Reds Shouldn't Be Taken Too Seriously
Reds are often just stating the facts as they see them, despite their antagonistic demeanor. They seldom say "in my opinion" before stating their opinions. I have seen too many Blues, Whites, and yellows become greatly concerned over issues raised by Reds, only to discover later that the Reds were simply interested in debating. Reds enjoy a good power play. But once you get emotionally involved arguing issues, you may be disappointed and frustrated to find that a Red is no longer interested.

Reds Seek Leadership Opportunities
Despite the rigidity of the military, many young Red men and women select it as a career in order to experience leadership. Reds are often called "control freaks." They like to be on the driver's seat. Red children are often frustrated in school because teachers (often Blue personalities) won't let them take charge. If a Red can get the upper hand, he or she will. Reds are willing to pay any price for an opportunity to lead.




Reds are so decisive.
If they make 51 percent of the decisions right
they're happy, because they know the other 49 percent
would have worked, but you screwed up.




RED STRENGTHS
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Excels with logical thinking.

Committed to a productive lifestyle.

Dynamic and direct.

Thrives on independence.

Natural leader.

Highly resourceful (strong survivor.)

Creative in crises.


"For Reds, winning isn't everything,

it's the only thing."


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Operates in a very logical, sensible manner.

Direct and honest with opinions.

Communicates thoughts well verbally.

Directs the conversation in a productive, pragmatic way.

Tells others where they stand in a relationship.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Natural goal setter--sets goals comfortably and confidently.

Maintains strong sense of perspective (sees the whole picture.)

Highly disciplined.

Highly productive with follow-through.

Makes decisions quickly and easily.

Strong goal orientation (wants to move up the ladder.)


AS A CAREER PERSON

Thrives in leadership positions.

Comfortable with power (as long as he or she has it.)

Excellent organizer.

Delegates superbly

Quick to make decisions and handles responsibilities well.

Self-motivated.

Thrives on competition.

Dynamic and assertive.

Highly task-oriented and efficient.

Confident of ability to achieve.

Trusts own business instincts--difficult to discourage.


AS A PARENT

Excellent decision maker.

Unquestioned as leader in home.

Assumes responsibility for protecting family.

Excellent provider.

Quick with good advice and direction.

Promotes group cohesiveness or comfortable being alone.

Promotes children's activities.


AS A CHILD

Communicates what he or she is thinking.

Highly verbal.

Strong sense of independence.

Willing to risk and try new experiences.

Takes charge of situation when parents are gone.

Capable of bouncing back in negative environment.

Maintains the power to turn a poor situation around.

Believes in self--maintains high self-esteem.



AS A FRIEND

Direct and quick with suggestions.

Great in emergencies and disasters.

Promotes group activities.

Engages in conflict comfortably and directly.

Productive in solving dilemmas.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Highly protective of companion

Loyal to the relationship.

Promotes interesting experiences.

Takes primary responsibility for financial needs.

Reliable and dependable.

Initiates interaction and activities.





RED LIMITATIONS
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Generally seeks to serve self (what's in it for me?)

Promotes turmoil and conflict when a personal goal is to be gained.

Out of touch with own feelings.

Rationalizes and denies own failings.

Always right.

Cannot relax and feel comfortable unless producing something.

Often arrogant and defiant of authority.

Inconsiderate of other's feelings (selfish)

Won't admit inadequacies for fear of losing power and control.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Unemotional and detached from feelings.

Insensitive and tactless.

Unappreciative of detail and beauty.

Bored with "idle chatter."

Little emotional perspective makes for poor insight to others.

Intuition is jaded by personal insecurities and judgments.

Harsh and judgmental.

Lacks ability to share self intimately.

Poor listener.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Impatient with self in completing goals.

Too rigid with expectations of his or her destiny.

Lives life on paper rather than with people.

Encourages quantity rather than quality.

Angers easily of goals aren't achieved or are blocked.

Blames others for personal misfortunes.


AS A CAREER PERSON

Seeks power in order to control others.

Refuses to relax--drives self and others.

Dislikes being told what to do.

May be insensitive to others in order to get ahead in business.

Makes decisions too quickly.

Doesn't often think the problem through or consult others for advice.

Less concerned with people than task completion.

Requires others' loyalty and obedience.

Authoritarian and uncompromising.

Critical of others and slow to give compliments.

Often too competitive to enjoy the competition.


AS A PARENT

Expects high performance without offering assistance.

Wants strict obedience.

Requires loyalty from family at all costs.

Unfeeling and insensitive to children's fears and concerns.

Requires the final say on important decisions.

Detached from children--doesn't share self emotionally.

Does not tolerate deviations from set expectations.

Establishes harsh and limiting boundaries.

Poor listener.

Impatient with play and other nonessential trivia.

Lacks insight into children's emotional needs.

Difficult to please--remains unimpressed.

Strong sense of right & wrong--badgers child when perceived as wrong.


AS A CHILD

Expends high energy manipulating parents to get own way.

Often defiant.

Resists control--feels he or she knows more than parents.

Critical of parents.

Fights constantly with siblings for control and power.

Subconsciously hides insecurities and emotional needs.

Aloof and distant from family.

Highly independent or requires others to entertain him or her.

Demanding--parents can never do enough right.

Finds it difficult to give sincere compliments.

Dramatic & overreactive to pain.

Expects to be catered to, especially when sick.

Poor listener.


AS A FRIEND

Insensitive and unemotional.

Doesn't like to admit the need for friendships.

Remains detached from sharing self completely.

Enters friendships asking, "What's in it for me?"

Listens only when convenient.

Maintains mostly rational friendships.

Tries to control group activities.

Expects friends to do things his or her way.

Impatient with others.

Negative, critical, and judgmental of others.

Feels it is more important to be right than agreeable.

Blunt or rude when angered.

Boring.

Expects to be entertained while waiting for action to begin.

Stubborn

Denies any personal inadequacies or responsibility.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Primarily concerned with self-gratification.

Gives priority to work over personal relationships.

Demanding & arrogant.

Hides insecurities.

Critical of companion for imperfections.

Lacks sensitivity.

Often unaware of intimacy and rejects its priority in a relationship.

Poor listener.




CAREERS MOST LIKELY TO ATTRACT REDS

Administrator, Lawyer, Building Contractor, Police Officer, Medical Doctor, Sales, Military Officer, Tax Accountant, Marketing, Politician, Realtor, Clergy (Minister), Entrepreneur, Professional Critic, School Superintendent.




PERSONALITIES WHO APPEAR TO BE REDS

HILLARY CLINTON: Tenacious and confident in her own abilities, she publicly ignores the continued allegations of her husband's infedelities. Her motto seems to be, "Just get me to the White House, Bill, where I can do something meaningful, then we can talk."

THE REVEREND BILLY GRAHAM: When he first went to Russia to preach about God, someone reminded him that they were all Communists (and thus atheists) over there. To this, he stood proud and said, "Not when I'm done, they won't be," and confidently took them his message of Christianity.

MADONNA: What haven't we seen already? And yet she continues to self-promote with a passion that cannot be ignored.




RED NATIONS

China
Japan
Germany



How to Develop a Positive Connection with Reds

Do:

Present issues logically.

Demand their attention and respect.

Do your homework!

Be direct, brief, and specific in conversation.

Be productive and efficient.

Offer them leadership opportunities.

Verbalize your feelings.

Support their decisive nature.

Promote their intelligent reasoning where appropriate.

Be prepared with facts and figures.

Respect their need to make their own decisions their own way.


Don't:

Embarrass them in front of others.

Argue from an emotional perspective.

Always use authorative approach.

Use physical punishment (you don't know what you're getting into).

Be slow and indecisive.

Expect a personal and intimate relationship.

Attack them personally.

Take their arguments personally.

Wait for them to solicit your opinion.

Demand constant social interaction (allow for alone time.)




Recommended Time-Management Tips for Reds


Connect with others emotionally and socially. It motivates them to be more forthright and cooperative in helping you accomplish your agenda.

Praise and promote the positive in others, helping them focus on shared priorities. Negative or critical attitudes and behaviors can create fear, driving people to the crisis, reaction, or escape quadrants.

Relax. Rome wasn't built in a day. Being overly demanding of yourself and others doesn't breed confidence or quality.

Set goals for yourself that you can achieve with your strong discipline. Set different goals and accept different styles when dealing with groups.

Avoid blaming others for failing to meet commitments, which is often a natural reaction for Reds in a crisis.

Think your problems through and seek others' advice when organizing your life. Reds can make hasty decisions and ignore the needs or perceptions of others who are affected.

Realize that you can't do it all. Be open to suggestions. Brain-storming ideas and solutions with others will save you time and improve others' morale

Be careful about imposing your demands on others' time. You don't want them to feel invalidated in meeting their own agendas.



"Your gene pool could use a little chlorine."




WHITES:
THE PEACEKEEPERS
Whites offer us all
a model for gentle
human dignity.



Whites Are Motivated by Peace
Whites will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. They like to flow through life without hassle or discomfort. Feeling good is even more important to them than being good.

Whites Need Kindness
While Whites respond beautifully to thoughtfulness and amiability, they have a strong, silent stubbornness that surfaces when they are treated unkindly. They resent being scolded. They dislike harsh words. They open up instantly to people who are kind, but Whites recoil from those who are hostile. They are motivated by kindness--and can't understand why other people are unkind.

Whites Prefer Quiet Strength
Whites enjoy their quiet independence. What appears to some people as quiet desperation can show itself as bullheadedness. Those who misinterpret the peace-loving nature of a White as an invitation to be demanding and bossy will soon meet a wall of passive resistance. Whites are tougher than people think.

Whites Like to Keep a Low Profile
Whites like to be asked their opinions. They won't volunteer them. They value the respect of others, but they rarely go out of their way to seek it. They need to be coaxed to talk about their skills, hobbies, and interests.

Whites Are Independent
Unlike Reds and Blues, who want to control others, Whites seek only to avoid being controlled. They simply refuse to be under another's thumb, especially when treated without the respect they feel they deserve. Whites want to do things their own way, in their own time. They don't ask much of others, and resent it when others demand things from them. They often comply with unreasonable demands--just to keep peace. They will express their anger and frustration only when they can no longer stand being bossed around. WHites don't like to be pushed, and they can be fearsome when they finally "blow up."

Whites Are Motivated by Other People's Desires
Whites are open to the recommendations of others on ways to resolve any and all situations. White executives value new management ideas from employees. White children welcome help--they are receptive students. Whites make agreeable dates. They are interested in making sure the other person has a good time, and are willing to do whatever the other person wants. Whites, however, want suggestions--not demands.




"I finally got it together,
but forgot where to put it."



WHITE STRENGTHS
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Quiet, reflective, and peaceful.

Sincere and genuine lifestyle.

Appears to accept like comfortably.

Patient with self and others.

Enjoys life's simplicity.

Compatible with others.

Kind to animals and people.

Blends into all situations.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Receptive to others' input.

Negotiator and mediator on issues.

Listens superbly.

Strong empathy skills.


AS A CAREER PERSON

Accommodates others easily.

Handles bureaucratic environments well.

Negotiates well.

Calm under pressure.

Prefers slower pace and "think" time.

Sometimes puts self in dangerous occupations for excitement.

Nonconformist.


AS A PARENT

Flows well with crisis.

Takes time to enjoy each child.

Agreeable with difficult children.

Respected by children for gentle manner and style.

Slow to react with anger.

Supportive and considerate.

Accepts companion's decision--demonstrates unity.

Patient with deviant and inappropriate behavior.

Accepts differences superbly.


AS A CHILD

Very agreeable to established traditions and boundaries.

Nondemanding.

Willing to accommodate siblings and parents.

Plays well by self.

Accepts life with drama.


AS A FRIEND

Patient and enduring through good and bad times.

Tolerant of unkind behavior.

Supportive and accepting.

Listens with empathy.

Relaxed in most situations.

Likes most people.

Liked by most people.

Compatible with different personalities.

Enjoys observing others.

Nondemanding of friendship.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Tolerant of others' tardiness.

Can entertain self easily.

Appreciates leadership qualities in others.

Loyal and committed to relationship.

Willing to accept beliefs and values of companion.






WHITE LIMITATIONS
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Boring because detached.

Takes passive approach to life.

Unresponsive or not openly excited about experiences.

Has problems becoming intimate.

Bashful and unsure of self.

Easily manipulated into changing plans.

Ambivalent about direction and goals to pursue.

Often lazy and unwilling to take responsibility for self.

Resists making commitments.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Fearful of confrontation.

Unable to respond quickly in conversation.

Dishonest with feelings--often agrees only to please others.

Hesitant to engage others in conversation.

Doesn't contribute openly.

Accepts others' decisions without seeking best solution.

Gives very little energy to conversation unless forced to.

Refuses to take a stand on issues.

Prefers to observe others interact.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Takes a "wait and see" attitude to life experiences.

Waits for a sign or for someone else to make decisions for them.

Lacks consistency in goal setting.

Sees goals as demanding and therefore restrictive.

Waits for others to set his or her goals and then criticizes the goals set for him or her.


AS A CAREER PERSON

Low profile.

Low energy.

Directionless--requires leadership from others.

Resents strong direction and leadership from others.

Works at a slow pace.

Resists power dominance of other personalities.

Difficult to motivate and inspire.

Fears change and risk taking.

Willing to stay in same monotonous job.

Easily manipulated by others when unmotivated or unconcerned.


AS A PARENT

Refuses to engage in conflict with spouse about children.

Doesn't initiate activities and interaction with children.

Poor disciplinarian.

Works obsessively to maintain peace.

Poor leadership and delegation with children.

Easily abused by children when promoting unpopular ideas.

Easily controlled or ignored by spouse or children.


AS A CHILD

Resents being pressured to do things.

Doesn't contribute much to conversations.

Contributes quietly to family activities.

Waits for parent to initiate ideas and then criticizes unacceptable suggestions.

Prefers the comforts of home to the demands of the world.

Indifferent to family dilemmas.

Uninvolved in family action.

Doesn't complete tasks.


AS A FRIEND

Lacks creativity to make suggestions.

Easily led by others' opinions.

Won't express honest perception if controversial.

Passive.

Requires extra protection and a lot of support.

Easily hurt and defeated.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Prefers the other person to lead.

Boring and indecisive.

Too accommodating.

Won't make suggestions for activities.

Willing to let life and love pass him or her by.

May experience difficulty initiating relationships.

Feels too inadequate to take a stand and voice opinions.

Not emotional about intimate relationships.




CAREERS MOST LIKELY TO ATTRACT WHITES

Forest ranger, Dentist, Bureaucrat, Computer programmer, Military service, Recreation leader, Researcher, Homemaker, Police officer, Preschool teacher, Veterinarian, Lawyer, Engineer, F.B.I. agent, Truck driver

Note: Whites & Yellows are usually least motivated to succeed in the career world.




PERSONALITIES WHO APPEAR TO BE WHITES

ALBERT EINSTEIN: A genius and highly observant, he let his thinking do his talking. Personally withdrawn, he was most comfortable in the world of ideas and intellectual exchange. He preferred quietly doing the research for his remarkable theories behind the scenes, rather than heralding their importance to the public.

MICHAEL JACKSON: Multitalented professionally and yet personally self-effacing, he listens well but verbalizes very little. Prefers quiet, limited personal connections.

JIMMY CARTER: Better thought as a world diplomat than a savvy political force, he exudes kindness and a quiet dignity. He never displays zealous egotism, but walks softly and carries a big stick.




WHITE NATIONS

Finland
Switzerland
Canada





How to Develop a positive Connection with Whites

Do:

Be kind.

Be logical, clear, and firm about the content you present.

provide a structure (boundaries) for them to operate in.

Be patient and gentle.

Introduce options and ideas for their environment.

Be simple and open.

Acknowledge and accept their individuality.

Be casual, informal, and relaxed in presentation style.

Look for nonverbal clues to their feelings.

Listen quietly.


Don't:
Be cruel or insensitive.

Expect them to need much social interaction.

Force immediate verbal expression; accept written communication.

Be domineering or too intense.

Demand conformity to unrealistic expectations/behaviors.

Overwhelm them with too much at once.

Force confrontation.

Speak too fast.

Take away all of their daydreams.

Demand leadership.





Recommended Time-Management Tips for Whites


State verbally how you feel and what you perceive about yourself, current tasks, and others' behavior. Whites are vulnerable to wasting energy because they can't accurately identify how they feel and present it confidently to others.

Empower yourself by addressing issues rather than avoiding them.

Conflict can be enriching. Share your ideas and seek others' input, rather than taking their feedback personally. See them as enlightening and broadening your horizons. Time management in a vacuum can be limiting and dangerous.

Seek a sense of urgency. Whites can miss living passionate lives by refusing to get excited about projects and people. DOn't let time pass you by.

Set proactive agendas, rather than merely reacting to agendas others set for you. Proactive attitudes will challenge your natural tendency to being passive-aggressive.

Don't be overly defensive when others seem demanding. Focus on what is being said rather than how it's being said.

Risk a little. Set goals that require effort and build confidence rather than taking a "wait and see" attitude.

Make the effort to control daydreams that rob you of valuable time to get legitimate work done.



"I used to be apathetic,
but now I just don't care."




Yellows:
The Fun Lovers
Happy is as happy does. Yellow people love themselves
because they know exactly what they love to do
and always find the time and resources to do it.



Yellows Value Play
Yellows consider life to be a party. And they're hosting. One father (Blue) was disappointed when his son (Yellow) preferred spending time with friends instead of with him. I reminded the father that his son was motivated by fun, and suggested that he should try to come up with activities that his son felt were exciting. It was the "better offer" principle--and it worked. Yellows just want to have fun.

Yellows Welcome Praise
Yellows need to be noticed. Little else improves a relationship with a Yellow more than praise. Yellows need to know they are valued and approved of. Yellows often act as though they have the world by the tail, but they do have their fears and frustrations--which they rarely confide until they know they are emotionally safe. Safety is most effectively evidenced to Yellows through praise.

Yellows Need Emotional Connections
Yellows often appear so nonchalant that people think they don't care about anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yellows need a great deal of attention. They need to be stroked. Yellows enjoy touching. To them, physical contact is often the most direct, comfortable intimate connection.

Yellows Want to Be Popular
Yellows like to be center stage. Social acceptance is very important to them. Friendships command a high priority in their lives because popularity answers one of their basic needs--the need for general approval. Yellows are highly verbal. They relish good conversation, but they can also simply go with the flow. Yellows can superficially chitchat with the best of them.

Yellows Like Action
Easily bored, Yellows seek adventure. They can never sit still for long. They choose friends who, like them, refuse to allow the "boring details" to get in the way of the most important thing in life--play. Ironically, numerous people are currently misdiagnosed as having ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) when, in fact, they are merely Yellow personalities struggling with their innate inability to sit still very long and/or stay focused.




"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck."




YELLOW STRENGTHS
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Highly optimistic (rarely depressed.)

Likes self and accepts others easily.

Loves to volunteer for opportunities.

Sees life as an experience to be enjoyed.

Flashy (racehorse rather than plowhorse.)

Adventurous and daring.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Thinks quickly on his or her feet and can express this spontaneously.

Enjoys and promotes being physical (hugs, touching.)

Easy to converse with.

Comfortable with people.

Able to express self directly in conflict.

Energized by large groups.

Superb at superficial conversation.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Appreciates and lives for the present.

Gives priority to playtime.

Very flexible.

Accepts guidance from others.

Disciplined if he or she finds the task fun and challenging.

Demands action rather than study.


AS A CAREER PERSON

People-oriented.

Friendly.

Able to take risks.

High energy.

Inspires colleagues and subordinates to cooperate and excel.

Charismatic and enjoyable to work with.

Breaks up monotony of work world.

Likes to tackle short-term projects with visible results.

Enjoys dressing up and also comfortable with casual attire.

Supports dreams and intuitive thinking.


AS A PARENT

Highly entertaining.

Promotes fun family activities.

Excellent short-term leader.

Finds touching children natural and comfortable.

Flows easily with negative experiences.

Turns crisis into comedy.

Nonjudgmental about children's friends.

Children enjoy their company and seek them out.

Concern themselves with the broad picture rather than the details.


AS A CHILD

Fun to have around.

Playful and entertaining.

Enjoys new experiences.

Accepting of differences.

Loves to socialize (brings friends home).

Easy to talk to.

Strong visual learner.

Loves physical contact (hugging, kissing.)

Pliable--willing to bend in order to please.

Curious and inquisitive.


AS A FRIEND

Exciting and fun to be with (never dull or boring.)

Often places friends before family.

Forgiving of self and others.

Lively and entertaining.

Vulnerable, innocent, and trusting.

Endearing.

Willing to free up schedule in order to play.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Brings excitement to spouse.

Promotes romance with a creative flair.

Enjoys unusual experiences.

Not burdened with emotional baggage.

Has few expectations of others.

Agreeable to change.

Accepts others' suggestions.







YELLOW LIMITATIONS
AS AN INDIVIDUAL


Needs to look good socially (high priority.)

Irresponsible and unreliable.

Self-centered and egotistical.

Flighty and uncommitted.

Lots of talk with little action.

Superficial and mostly interested in a good time.

Unwilling to experience pain in order to produce quality.

Undisciplined.

Loud and obnoxious in public places.

Exaggerates successes and omits unpleasant truths.

Unable to confront or face issues.


AS A COMMUNICATOR

Often speaks before thinking.

Unsympathetic about depression in others.

Makes insensitive jokes about serious and sensitive issues.

Lightminded and superficial.

Often repetitious.

Interrupts others freely.

Overly dramatic in expressing self (often uses superlatives.)

Often talks too much about everything and nothing.

Poor listener.

Forgets what others have said.


AS A GOAL SETTER

Terribly undisciplined in committing to goals.

prefers to play today rather than plan for tomorrow.

Feels no need to prepare for the future.

Restless and finds it difficult to stick with long-term goals.

More interested in appearing onstage than writing the script.

Disorganized and scattered in too many directions.


AS A CAREER PERSON

Requires that all activities be fun.

Can handle stress only for short periods of time.

Poor concentration for any length of time.

Unwilling to dedicate self to a cause without vacations.

Resents authority and defiant to leaders.

Sloppy and unpredictable.

Needs a lot of interaction with people.

Takes few things seriously.


AS A PARENT

Self-centered and more concerned about self than children's needs.

More interested in enjoying children than teaching them.

Can be sarcastic with children.

Unwilling to spend a lot of time and energy on children's behalf.

Inconsistent with discipline.

Irresponsible and too permissive with children.

Bad role model for positive work habits.

Lacks discipline for housecleaning or providing stable income.


AS A CHILD

Sassy and demanding.

Defiant of authority.

Forgetful of assignments and parental expectations.

More concerned with friends than family.

Teases siblings constantly.

Insensitive to parents' responsibilities or needs.

Prefers to take the easy road whenever possible.

Shows little concern for family problems and responsibilities.

Unconcerned with financial issues.


AS A FRIEND

Spends most of time discussing own life.

Shows up at his or her convenience.

Undependable in a crisis.

Unwilling to commit to long-term needs of distressed friends.

Pursues own life regardless of friends' situations or needs.

Uncomfortable in painful or distressing environments.

Makes new friends easily and without guilt, often at the expense of old friends.


AS A COMMITTED COMPANION

Uncommitted and flighty in long-term relationships.

Undependable and inconsiderate of the needs of others.

Prefers to enter a relationship knowing there is an escape.

Unwilling to hang in there during the difficult times.

Quick-tempered in unpleasant circumstances requiring patience.

Unwilling to invest time in personal growth to improve relationships.

Capable of ignoring the feelings of others and focusing on self.




CAREERS MOST LIKELY TO ATTRACT YELLOWS

Firefighter, International consultant, Travel agent, Recreational leader, Lifeguard, Beautician, Entertainer, Tour guide, Circus performer, Insurance agent, Secretary, Receptionist, Sales, Retail, Clergy/Minister
Note: Yellows are generally least capable of consistently committing to the requirements for financial success or the career world.


PERSONALITIES WHO APPEAR TO BE YELLOWS

BILL CLINTON: President Clinton has magically survived a myriad of assaults on his personal character and professional competence, but he never runs for cover. His winning smile and positive manner help people trust him. He is intellectually bright and verbally quick, making him difficult to pin down or ever catch off-guard.

RONALD REAGAN: One of America's most adored presidents, Ronald Reagan's trademark was optimism and charisma. He spoke with conviction and always exuded an inviting warmth. He carried himself with a carefree confidence that put others at ease around him.

ELVIS PRESLEY: Dynamic and rebellious. His vulnerability and trusting nature were charming and disarming. He was personable and generous. He lived for the moment, and his naivete and emotionalism caused irrational decisions to prematurely end his scattered brilliance as a performer. As with all good Yellows, people are still hoping to find him alive so the party can continue.




YELLOW NATIONS

Mexico
Australia
Brazil




How to Develop a Positive Relationship with Yellows

Do:

Be positive and proactive with them in your life.

Adore and praise them legitimately.

Touch them physically.

Accept their playful teasing.

Remember they are more sensitive than they appear.

Value their social interaction skills and people connections.

Remember they hold feelings deeply.

Promote creative and fun activities for and with them.

Enjoy their charismatic innocence.

Allow them opportunity for verbal expression.

Don't:
Be too serious or sober in criticism.

Push them too intensely.

Ignore them.

Forget they have "down" time also.

Demand perfection.

Expect them to dwell on problems.

Give them too much rope, or they may hang themselves.

Classify them as just lightweight social butterflies.

Attack their sensitivity or be unforgiving.

Totally control their schedules or consume their time.




Recommended Time-Management Tips for Yellows

Realize that "busyness" is not necessarily the same as purposeful action. Reflect on what is important and give it legitimate attention.

Set specific goals each day and prioritize them. Start working on your A1. Do them in order.

Focus on "what's necessary" rather than "what's fun." Quality requires both. Don't let others take on the responsibility of handling your "necessary" tasks.

Set achievable "time bits" where you focus on a specific task for a specific amount of time and create a fun reward for sticking to it. Break up the monotony.

Commit to the bigger picture. Create a long-term plan of substance and seek specific activities you can complete to make it a reality.

Balance undemanding creativity with focused commitments. You'll feed both your need for unstructured play and your need for accomplishment.

Do a little planning up front so you "get it right" the first time. You'll save yourself tremendous time.

Face the issues rather than spending time on trivia.

Listen well so you don't have to interrupt others for information already presented.




"Hard work may not kill me,
but why take a chance?"