I am a strange, strange person. I'm at work, and I just taped a pen to the radio.

See, this is how desperate I am to hear rock rather than pop, that to improve the reception I taped a pen on as sort of a makeshift supplemental antenna. I was at the end of my rope.

Worked rather well, though.

And also: yet another step towards me becoming a juvenile delinquent after my time:

you know how I've mentioned I can't pee at my job? You don't? Well, I can't.

Well, partially in order to enforce this, the door is locked, so if we left, we wouldn't be able to get back in after our pee unless we want to vault in over the desk. Now how this makes us effective if we have to leave in case of emergency........it hampers it pretty badly. It's pretty dead when I come in, but when my roommate has been working, two separate occaisons she's been unable to help people who needed it.

1) The handicapped door is busted, she saw someone trying to get through. They eventually made it themselves, but she was pretty annoyed she couldn't go out to help him.

2) This is the coup de grace: A bell started going off. She called our supervisor, and he said he'd come down in a couple of hours. Finally, a mail attendant came (after about an hour), and my roommate made the girl stay there to let her back in. She investigated. It was someone who had been stuck in the elevator. For an hour. Because our supervisor wouldn't come down, and she couldn't go and investigate.

Anyhoos: Both of us have found a way around it. My roommate says next time she needs to help someone, she's going to borrow the keys we have in the back that are supposed to be for the RA's that indeed open the door.

Mine is much more juvenile. You know those prong things in the side of the door that are basically what keeps the door from opening when it's blocked? I tape them down.

Not to help people, really. For my own selfish peeing convenience. But I figure I'd get in less trouble than if I took the keys.

Also, we both thought we'd get in trouble if someone saw the door propped open.

Hmm......at the risk of quoting Staind, it's been awhile. Since I blogged. Not as long as some people *looks at Talia menacingly* but oh well. Sides, mebbe her restraint at not putting every damn detail of her life up here like I do is refreshing. I mean, I surf blogs, and the ones with all the excess crap are the most boring. But, while I enjoy having the occasional reader, this things for me, and my sanity. Uhm.......where was I?

Oh, first of all, props to Lorraine, who e-mailed me about that song.

Second of all, work: it's getting better. First of all, I know what the hell I'm doing. Second of all, because I've been taking my laptop in and playing Escape From Monkey Island, the fourth in the highly exalted (by me) Monkey Island series. In my defense: I'm not breaking any rules and I'm helping everyone I should help, i'm just playing monkey island in between. Because let me tell you, it's dead there over break.

I even worked on Christmas. 1) Even though I said I wouldn't, they had me down on the schedule as doing it. I KNEW it be a pain in the ass to get the boss woman to let me off the hook. She did it to my roommate, too, but fortunately my roommate found someone else to work for her that day. 2) We had most of our family time in the morning, but the four hour shift I have was in the evening. 3) Though we usually have a fancy dinner, we didn't this Christmas, so there wasn't really much to stay around for.

I'm going to have to work on New Years Eve, unless I can find someone to take my shift :( I kinda wanted to have dinner with my family, or hook up with some of my high school friends. They're (H.S. Friends) pissing me off anyway, though. Last year, we drew names, and then each bought a gift and got a gift for X-mas. Plus, I saw some of them at various other times during break. Seeing as how I'm not exactly burning it up in the new college friends department, I'd like to hang on to some of the high school ones, but the buggers are incommunicado! We did the drawing by e-mail, I got Laura, and I got her gift, so i want to at least see Laura to give her her gift. Plus, I would think that Jean would at least want to see me, because we used to be pretty tight, but no word from that quarter. And Carrie, who was my 'best' (quotes because we were joined at the hip, but then she got kind of annoying, but we still seemed joined at the hip) friend isn't coming back for break. Wants us to all come down where she is. She KNOWS I don't do interstate driving. That's why I don't just visit her on a weekend sometime. Gah. You'd think, seeing as how I still live in the hometown, and all these people come back to see their parents, they'd kill two birds with one stone and maybe drop by to say hello to me, but alas, no. I've got to try calling them all again. I know I seem needy, but dammit, I AM needy.

Anyhoo, I could at least have dinner with my family, were it not for stupid stupid work.

Oh well, I'm earning money to go to england. I have to keep remembering that.

I finally wrote my essay they wanted me to write to apply to go to England, and took the physical they wanted me to take. Now all I need is my last reccomendation, which should come in soon. Then I'll turn it in, and hopefully get in the program. I want this so badly.

My family and I did go out last night, at least. We finally celebrated my straight A's. It was nice.

Christmas=fun. I may have a lot of arguements with my family, but we always seem to pull it together around the holidays. We talked, hung out, gave presents, got presents. Nice.

Geez....I can NOT find this song. SOMEONE e-mail me (tribble180@hotmail.com) if they know who does this song:

I THINK it's called "hey mister"
parts of it (largely unordered) are: "It's not that she's a tramp....." "It's not what you did, it's not what you didn't" "I hope I never have any daughters"

Pleeeeeeease someone know :P It's driving me nuts.

You know, I think I am a juvenile delinquent late in life. It started with changing "class" on my neighbors door to "ass" and now I've written "No Pee" on the monitor of the computer at work. It was going to say "No Pee breaks make Phoe angry" but I midway through, I thought, "You prolly should'nt put your name on there." And I tried to wipe it off,so it's a bit smudged. And I put it in a sort of hard to spot place. So now the monitor at work says "No pee" and I have to live with that.

Besides, I can always blame Wanda. She TOLD me to deface property at my place of work. Damn her! :P

Man, I'm collecting blogs like nothing! I collect blogs like most people collect sad-looking porcelain dolls and bad habits. Or maybe blogging IS my bad habit. In addition to this one, I've been part of Breaking the Cycle (if you want the links to any of these, look at the side, because I'm too tired to do html) for quite some time. Then, Arsepimples! came to life. Now I'm part of Alternatune and Alternachick.

Alternachick--I'm not sure what I should say. It's supposed to be a cure for girly magazines like 17, YM, Good Housekeeping, (Lol, I'm aware of the irony of putting those 3 together) It's supposed to be for "real women." Or else weird women, like me and my partner in crime on this deal. Anyway, I"m not sure what real women think anyway. Half the time I don't even know what I think. We'll see.

Alternatune--hell yes! For some lame reason I'm always writing reviews of music in my head. Now I have an outlet. Yes, and OUTLET. Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Why, you ask, am I too tired to do html tonight, in light of the fact that I normally throw it around like a drunken weasel?

Well, I'm not sure what you mean about the drunken weasel part, but here's the deal: Last night, I had heartburn.. Bad heartburn. Weird heartburn. It kept me up till 4 a.m. I was forced to watch a rerun of Real World.

It was pretty funny though. There was this hick cowboy dude that with a mullet. I'm thinking, "Who did you lose a bet to to have that hairdo?" but the sad thing is he probably thinks the haircut IS cool. You can certainly tell he thinks the cowboy boots, the cowboy hat, and the really busy shirts are.

Ta da

Speaking of having a sad life: Yesterday, I woke up at about 12, and I ate "brunch" and showered/got dressed, and then I laid on my back listening to music for 3 1/2 hours until work, and then I complain about work being the boring part.

But it WAS. It's not like they're going to let me play You Make Me Feel Like a Whore there or anything. There's so nothing to do at work.

Except IM.....which, ironically, i can do for hours at home, but it seems like not many people are ever on when I'm at work. Kin was there the first night, but he was playing a game, and not really talking back. Talia was there last night, which was better. She even passed along some info on my pseudo-ex, which, while not encouraging info, was at least something to mull over. Ah well.

Oh, and when I came back from work, there were lots of people on, which was ironic. I actually was going to watch TV, but Kev wanted to do a roleplaying thing, so I grudgingly came back on. Basically, I was verbally molested by Kev and a half-wit the whole time. Not much RPing going on--when Talia got so many windows she wasn't talking to much, and when this other guy in the room left, I left. I didn't really want to be alone with them. Oh well.

Day 2 of job:

I was more competant, but it was more boring. Possibly because I actually showed up on time this time.

It was like my previous job, working at the old lady store, only without me being alowed to pee. This burns me up. That should be an unalienable right, the right to pee. Although, according to the simpsons.......(hastily paraphrased)

Marge: "You're advising me to get a divorce? Isn't that against our religion?"
Rev. Lovejoy: "Have you ever read this thing? *points to the Bible* Technically, we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom."

But, then again, any institution that bases its rules on the Simpsons is kind of sad. Plus, if it were the simpsons, I'd probably get to have a bottle or something to pee in under the desk, and no one would ever know. Muahahahaha!

Uhm......what else is happening in my life?

A girl in a store laughed at my Forrest Gump impression the other day. Which made me feel better, because my own family was there, and they didn't really find it very funny. It's good to know someone thinks so.

Yea, I have a pretty pathetic life :P

(posted a little late, blogger wasn't working when I originally posted this)

Having a job is better than ever............FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Yea, I watch too much Late Night.

Anyhoo: first day of work yesterday. Worst first day ever. Well, not ever, but it was pretty bad.

1) I showed up an hour late (Thought my shift started an hour later than it really did) I felt SO bad.
2) Someone calls me right off, wanting to know the phone no. for one of the other front desks. I put the poor lady on hold for like ever, and then I finally had to give up and be like "Sorry, I can't find your number."
3) I improperly checked out a vaccuum cleaner. I actually forged the guy's name where he was supposed to sign for it. I think that's illegal.
4) I get no bathroom breaks, and I had to pee. I think that should be illegal.

Ta Da!

Okay....not that anyone e-mails me, but I effed up my e-mail on here, and it's going to be like that until I get around to fixing it, so don't try and use that link :P

Anyhoo, what I really want to blog about is how my mom's depression is making the rest of us miserable. I mean, she has a valid reason for being depressed (but I'm not going to go into it), but she's driving the rest of us stark raving bonkers!

Case 1
My mom, who loves my sis's dog more than me almost, got the dog some christmas presents. My dad wraps everything, and he wrote down one of them as being from me. My mom was totally mean to him about it. Why this is SO annoying? 1)He offered to switch it back, but she was still pissed. 2) Many things I get for the family ARE in name only, anyway, so it's not like me getting credit for someone else's cash is anything new. Yes, I'm such a sponge. 3) It's a dog. He can't read. If he could, he wouldn't care. Come on.

Case 2
We were at the apple orchard today, and mom picked up a bag of popcorn. She went outside to have a smoke, so it was just me, my sis and dad at the cash register, when the bag sprung a leak. So they sent me to get another bag. So I did. We get back home. hours later, she's all like "You got the wrong kind." 1) I swear it was practically the same color. It was light yellow, her bag was light yellow, she insisted her original bag was white and this is yellow. When I said they look the same, she's like no they don't. I have to be like, well they looked the same to me, it's not as if I was intentionally getting the wrong type. 2) After she goes on and on about this, I finally mention that my sis and dad saw the popcorn as well, and didn't seem to see the difference. This makes her round on poor dad, "You didn't pay attention."

"I'm sorry for not looking at the label."

"You don't need to look at the label! This is yellow, that was white!"

"I'm sorry."

Etc. etc. The thing about mom is, she doesn't stop even after you say you're sorry. Anyhoo, I finally interupt and am like, "I didn't mean to shift the blame on dad, I meant that if two other people mistook it as well, it had to look similar." 3) Does it even matter? Does white popcorn taste different than yellow popcorn? No. 4) I can't even remember the time, though I'm sure it's years and years ago, that anyone in our family has used "real" popcorn instead of microwave popcorn anyway. No matter what color it is, it's destined to sit in our pantry for at least four or five years, and then getting thrown out.

And there are more, but I will not bore you with them.......

It's sad when your own mother loves someone else's dog more than you. He bites my foot, draws blood:

"aww, he's just a puppy."

I put a towel over his head, because it's funny to watch him get out of it.

"That's cruel! Poor thing!"

And it also reminds me of our old dog. He was quite the yapper. And when mom'd get mad at him for not stopping yapping, she'd call him a little shit. She called me a little shit, too. What an ego booster!

Do you know what's REALLY sad? I misspelled professor in the previous post.

Anyhoo, again with the tests. I'm especially fascinated with the career ones, seeing as how I NEED a career.

I shouldn't have looked to a lame-o test based on what colors I like to decide the rest of my life for me. Even though it was based on 12 years of research.

1. Fishing (Fishing? Fishing? Is that really a "career"? I don't even know how to fish)
2. MECHANICAL DRAFTING (Uhm......no)
3. STATISTICS (This semester I dropped my stats class)
4. MECHANICAL DESIGN TECHNOLOGY (Uhm....no)
5. ENGINEERING MANAGEMENT (Okay, I need to stress I know nothing mathmatical or mechanical, or structural people!)
6. DIESEL ENGINE MECHANICS AND TECHNOLOGY (LOOK AT WHAT I JUST SAID)
7. BUILDING CONSTRUCTION / CONSTRUCTION SCIENCE (Dude, NO. Look @ 5!)
8. Chefs - COOKS AND OTHER KITCHEN WORKERS (What is it with them thinking I should be a chef. Maybe I should try out cooking. If my mom let me make anything other than kraft macaroni, which she only let me start making a couple years ago, even.)
9. Boxing (Me=wimp=why the hell do they think I'd be a boxer?)
10. FOOD AND BEVERAGE SERVICE OCCUPATIONS (No)
11. MOBILE HEAVY EQUIPMENT MECHANICS (For the love of god, nothing involving machinery!)
12. Hunting (I love the animals of the world! Well....no, I do eat them. I'm just not willing to shoot them myself)
13. ASIATIC LANGUAGES (e.g. Chinese Japanese Korean) (Uhm....where does this come from? I'd be good at asiatic languages, but the romance languages are just beyond my grasp?)
14. Power Boat Racing (Dude Where did they find their master list??)
15. CARPENTERS (Jesus was a carpenter. I was afraid of the ban saw in Shop)
16. INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERS (At the risk of saying "dude" too much, dude, why does it think I'm all mechanical and "hands on"?)
17. ENVIRONMENTAL DESIGN (Uhm....not quite sure what that is)
18. MATHEMATICS (Hell no)
19. Gliding (Hang gliding? Is that really a career? And if it's not hang gliding, what other sort of gliding is there, anyway?)
20. ENGINEERING (NOOOOOO!!! I said NOOOO!!!)
21. ELECTRICAL AND ELECTRONIC AND COMMUNICATIONS ENGINEERS (Again, No!)
22. PARKS AND RECREATION (Uhm..I see the park ranger thing from the other test. But I am not going around saving picnic baskets)
23. GEOLOGICAL AND GEOPHYSICAL ENGINEERING (My geology prof said I should do this. Hmmm...)
24. WRITERS AND EDITORS (Like writing, not so good at it. As you can see :P)
25. AEROSPACE ENGINEERS (heh...in the aerospace part of shop, my balsa wood airplane fell apart)
26. ROOFERS (No!! Again, Noooo!)
27. INSPECTORS TESTERS AND GRADERS (Not sure what this is, but not particularly promising, either)
28. COST ESTIMATORS (Estimate the cost of what, exactly?)
29. THEOLOGY (Dear lord! I don't even know what I believe)
30. ENGINEERING - RELATED TECHNOLOGIES other (Look, I am not mechanical or mathmatical. Dude!)
31. CORRECTION OFFICERS (Uhm....no)
32. JEWELERS (I can see myself cutting diamonds with lazers, and wearing that cool eye peice monocle-like thing. The future is mine, bay-bee)
33. MECHANICAL ENGINEERING (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)
34. BIOCHEMISTRY AND BIOPHYSICS (doubtful)
35. GUARDS (Of what?)
36. ELECTRICAL TECHNOLOGY (Noooooooo!)
37. AGRICULTURAL ENGINEERING (Seeing someone stick their hand up a cow's butt last year in my ag class has pretty much gotten rid of any appetite I may've had for ag. Not that I had any appetite for it beforehand....)
38. ENGINEERING RELATED TECHNOLOGIES (NO ENGINEERING, people!)
39. ELECTRICAL AND ELECTRONICS EQUIPMENT REPAIR (no!)
40. Purchasing Agents and Managers (Purchasing and managing what?)

12 years of research down the drain.

Do you know what's sad? I'm e-mailing all the proffessors who like me, hitting them up for recommendations for the england trip (I only need 2--so far, I'm actually e-mailing the english prof I hate and a geology prof that was nice, but boring as all get out, because they took to me for some bizarre reason, going to e-mail more peeps if Old Guy and Boring Guy don't reply) and I realize: I'm a sophmore in college, and I don't know how to spell the word "recommendation". Every time I type the damn word, I have to look at the sheet that says it on it. Tee hee.

This is the best week ever!

Tues: I find out I'm getting straight A's!
Weds: I find out I'm getting to go to Jolly Olde England, wot wot?
Thurs: I complete my Red Dwarf collection, because my mom got me The Last Human and Backwards Hoorah! AND, Dirk Gently's Hollistic Detective Agency, which if it's anywhere near as good as The Long Dark Teatime of the soul, It'll rock!
Fri: talking to the advisor about ENGLAND!!!!

Stolen from Finger Lickin' Good


Take the Affliction Test Today!

I am Syphilis. Don't Screw With Me, Or I'll Give You Dementia!

.....when I miss so much that requires attention

I wore my underwear inside out all day yesterday before realizing that it was, indeed, inside out. The sad thing is, this isn't even the first time it's happened. It's like broken arrow:

"I don't know what's scarier: that you've lost some nuclear missiles, or that you've done it enough that there's a name for it."

Only....replace "scarier" with "lamer" and "lost some nuclear missiles" with "worn your underwear inside out all day without realizing it."

I am going to come up with a name for that. How about...... "Sububiretro." Yep. That's it.

Should I be frightened or not? I mean, coming off of the SW one where I'm Palpatine........ :P


Which Evil Criminal are You?

Does that pear below not look rancid? I would not touch that thing with my intestines. No way, buddy.

I have to say what fruit I am too.


Strawberry: 30/100 Pear: 60/100 Banana: 50/100 Tomato: 0/100 Lemon: 20/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!

Bill and I used to make up pet names for our private parts. I called mine 'Precious' and he called his 'Willard.' Which Clinton 'Ho Are You?

Couldn't resist.

Our spunky heroine triumphs again!

Yes.............I'm (probably) going to get to go to England this summer!

Yay, my mom said probably I can go!

Yaaaaaaaaay!

I have to laugh. I just took this thing on what my top jobs would be (yea, i shamelessly stole it from finger lickin' good)

# 1 Chef (I don't know how to cook)
# 2 Salesperson (Been there. Done that. Hated it)
# 3 Teacher (I can't stand kids)
# 4 Artist (I can see the titles of my pictures now. Stick Man. Stick Woman. Stick Dog. Stick Man and Stick Woman. Stick Man and Stick Woman Out on a Walk With Their Stick Dog)
# 5 Author (I like writing, but I'm not that great)
# 6 Computer Game Programmer (That could be fun! I'm not so good at math, though)
# 7 Graphic Designer (That could also be fun!)
# 8 Mathemetician (Dammit! I told you I suck at math!)
# 9 Park Ranger (I said on the survey I prefered to work indoors. I hate nature :P)
# 10 Web Designer (I'd like that.....but I'd be crappy at it. You should see what I experimented with before I gave in and used a pre-designed template!)
# 11 Chemist (I got a C in chemistry)
# 12 Doctor (This makes me queeeeeasy)
# 13 Engineer (DAMMIT! Did I not say I sucked at math 2 times already?)
# 14 FBI Agent (I could be the next Scully!)
# 15 Geneticist (I DO like genetics)
# 16 Lawyer (I DO like arguing)
# 17 Movie Star (I'm the worst actor ever. At least, that's what I get from my drama class. But sometimes, I think I'm just not suited to act out Yertle the Turtle with a bunch of junkies)
# 18 Researcher (Geez. You should've seen me in chem lab Soph. year. Neither me nor my lab partner could light matches, so we always had to go around and make other people do it. And all of my biology experiments have been unmitigated disasters)
# 19 Rock Star (I don't know how to play a single musical instrument. I would if I could, though)
# 20 Astronaut (This place aims a little high, doesn't it? Like, the odds of becoming an astronaut are like infintesimal)
# 21 Inventor (If only the clapper hadn't already been invented. That's what I'd invent)
# 22 Police Officer (I've seen too many Lethal Weapon movies to say yes to that)
# 23 Politician (Hell No)
# 24 Professional Sports Player (Have they seen me play a sport? Have they seen how much the ball hits me in the head? In high school, everyone said I should invent my own sport, where the ball is really soft, and you don't go near it. This reminds me of the one time I went to a chinese place and the fortune cookie said I enjoy competative sports. What kind of a fortune is that, anyway?
# 25 Reporter (Whatever)

As I approach the ripe old age of 20, I do believe my mind (what little I had, anyway) is going.

I tooooootally wanted to say I'm getting all A's this semester. Only the second time ever in my entire schooling!

Anyhoo....I meant to say that like two posts ago. The last post doesn't even deserve to be up here, it's so pointless, but I've got bounties of pointfulness going on in this topic.

Colonel Sanders (My history prof) told us today when we came for the final that if we were happy with our grades, we didn't have to take it. He's a sadistic man, making us all study for nothing. But I don't care. Wheeee! I didn't have to take the final. And he made the top 5 people in the class stand up, which I happened to be. Which surprised the heck out of me. Happily surprised me :)

And when I turned in my english paper, (I was really worried about this class because he has no basis in reality for the grades he gives out) he said "If you don't get an A in this class, no one will."

Yay me!!!! If everything turns out the way I think it will, I'll get straight A's, bay-bee!!!!

Heh....I wouldn't if I hadn't dropped middle finger's class. So it IS a bit of a tainted victory. But it wouldn't be a victory at all if I was still in that damn, annoying, boring, pointless, useless class. So......

that's that.

Eh....Kevin (GM of a site I've been RPing at) is beginning to annoy me. He's the biggest nag ever if I forget to post once, but he'll go for days w/o doing it. And he's the damn GM! Anyhoo, he's being uber moody right now too, which is irritating me.

And he's sort of a wierd guy anyway :P

And I'm a coward. I still haven't told my mom about how i want to go to britain yet.

I'M GOING TO BE AN UBER-BABELFISH!

Now let me explain why this phrase makes me a complete dork:

1) I am uttering this about a D and D char.
2) I am uttering this about a D and D char, yet I said it in the first person
3) Uber is for dorks (IBPW). It's "super" in german, I've heard. Or else who I heard it from just told me that, and it's really a horrible german swear word, that I throw around like nothing
4) I am referencing an internet utility that translates things
5) I know that it got it's name from a sci-fi/humor book: Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy
6) I regularly quote HGG. And I quote, "I'm so hip, I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis."

And it's true. I'm just that hip.

I figured I'd out do myself by taking an online personality test about what online personality test I'd be.

I'm The James Bond Villain Personality Test!

I live in a fictional world of spies and blonde women with ridiculous names, and I like to give people plenty of options. Although whether they're villainous is not optional.

Click here to find out which test you are!

Again with the tests. You'll be relieved that though I took a "what star wars character are you?" one once, I didn't put it up here.

Though I meant to, then lost the url :P I was Emperor Palpatine. How kick-ass is that?

I actually did, out of choice, not put my lord of the rings one up. Why? Not really into lord of the rings, though I can almost hear you gasp audibly at that little snippet of info. Anyhoo......

If I were a James Bond villain, I would be Auric Goldfinger. I enjoy golf, gold, and bisecting people with industrial lasers. I am played by Gert Fröbe in Goldfinger. Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test

I know my blog is going to be clogged with these, but I can't resist *shigh*

I am Matched Phrenology Busts. I enlighten Norwegian glass bacteria with richly sponged hardwood thought processes. Four ripe metronomes ridicule my lucky castle of relief. My auspicious mercury rides level coral. What erudite spheres reveal strata? The Utterly Surreal Test

I had some really weird dreams last night. I didn't used to dream all that much (remembering it, anyway) but i think I've become a lighter sleeper or something, so I'm getting them all the time. + whenever I have dreams, they're always weird.

The first one was I was in preschool. And we had show and tell. And this one girl had some bottle of something that made you twice as pretty, no matter what. I heckled her. I said it'd need to make me 3X as pretty to be interesting. I pointed to this one pimple I had on my forehead (which I really do have one there right now). And I was like, "look at this pimple! it makes me look like one of those hindu women!" Not that I have anything against hindu women--they purposely put a red dot up there. When it's a pimple, it's just sad. And then, I said if it removed pimples, it'd destroy the entire economy, because there's so much makeup and things people buy to get rid of pimples. And I SWEAR this was a preschool setting.

Then, I had a dream where I went back to high school to visit, and i saw this one girl who was in my french class, this one guy that was in my drama class, and this one guy that was in Scholastic Bowl with me. And we had lunch and talked, and I told them about the preschool dream, and they laughed.

Aren't those both pretty eerie?

Anyhoo.....I'm so worried right now. Why?

I've wanted to go to Europe REALLY badly for a long time. Especially England. Especially lately, because I have a friend there I want to see so badly. I figure my only chance is to study abroad--I'm not going to have enough money to just go there for a long time. And for awhile, I've sort of talked about it, but figured my chance for that has flown--I've diddled around long enough trying to decide a major, that there are acadmic complications in going to another university for a year or semester.

But today, I saw an advert: 3 weeks during the summer. And, it's almost more of a sight-seeing tour, so it wouldn't be for some major I'm not in. The way it works, it would probably not help me graduate any sooner (though I wish I could), but it really wouldn't be going to waste per say. Anyway, I'd get to see most of england, not just london or something. The downside is I probably wouldn't get to see my friend as much as I would if I were studying during the semester, but I WOULD get to see her some, and I would get to see one of the best countries on the face of this planet. And, I think if I save my ass off until the summer, I'll have just enough to do it on my own money. So this is almost perfect for me.

So why'm I so nervous?

My mom. She's thwarted my every attempt to go anywhere my whole life. I'm so incrediblally scared she'll tell me I can't go that I'm almost ready to wet myself. Okay, that's an exageration...... but I am scared to ask her.

I'm thinking of talking to dad first, so that he can sort of take my side.

Wish me luck.

Moving Day

When I look back on moving day, I can't help but wonder how it would've turned out if we had checked to see if the current occupant had left yet before moving out crap.

Yes, the room was still occupied.

Actually, we weren't as idiotic as this sounds--there wasn't a nametag on the door, though everyone has one. Also, even though we packed before actually going over and knocking, at the last minute we got cautious and knocked before we actually lugged our crap over there.

Still.....

We packed up all our crap, which is a considerable lot. Then, we had the bright idea to go over. We knocked, and no one answered. Then, we were goofing around, because we thought no one was there. Leading to this unfortunate action: I butt-bumped the door. Yes, I'm as ashamed as you are of that fact. And that's about when the current occupant opened said door.

Of course, she wondered why a complete stranger was butt-bumping her door. And rightfully so. I applaud that. Anyhoo, we had to have looked really weird to her, because we were startled as anything that someone had actually answered the door.

For some reason, my roommate paniced. And lied. "We're looking for Andrea," she said.

"Andrea? No one named that lives here. What's her last name?"

"Uh...." here my roommate snaps several times, trying to think up a follow-up to the original lie. She passes the ball to me. "What is Andrea's last name?" she asks.

I have a bout of hysterical laughter and say "Smith." The only thing besides my own last name I could think of. So of course that sounds fake as hell. My roommate later admits she thought of "Samsonite", because of a scene in Dumb and Dumber (I don't think I have to point out the poetic justice of thinking of Dumb and Dumber at that moment). So I guess Smith wasn't too dumb.

We eventually extricated ourselves from this conversation and left.

Moral of the story: Don't pick me as your patsy when you lie. I'm terrible.


Unpacking and re-packing--such a pain in the ass. I'm circumventing that by just living at home during finals, but still. And my poor roommate :(

Mom and I are already on each other's nerves. She's griping at me for being on the computer when I said I didn't have time to go shopping (on account of finals). Which, I AM on for more time now, but I'm done studying for the nonce, and would go shopping if the stores were open. At the time I was only on briefly, except someone called and knocked me off, and my mom talked to her for a heck of a long time, thereby wasting my time, and making it seem that I was on doing more than I was. Also, I accidently left some kool-aid out that I plan to dye my hair with. When my mom found it, I paniced and lied and said it was my roommate's. Now, like, a day later, she's all asking me if my roommie has sugar with her at the dorm to make this stuff with. I stammer out that there are sugar packets at the dorm, even though I know full well it takes a buttload of sugar to make that stuff. Then when my mom points that out, I shrug and say "I don't know, I guess she does, if she bought it." Bleh.....

The moral of the story: I shouldn't lie. I'm terrible

And Grrr @ the mirror in the bathroom. This is driving me nuts:

In an effort to be politically correct, instead of just "merry christmas" it has happy holidays and happy hannukah on there.

But they freakin' spelled hannukah wrong. It's hannukah, not hanakah. Dammit!

I'm not Jewish, but for some reason it still really bugs me.

But figure I'm too anal retentive anyway, seeing as how after they first put it up, I added "Joyous Kwanzaa"

Still....I spelled "kwanzaa" right, dammit!

Grr @ my mom. I mentioned I was moving tomorrow. She made a poop about it.

Ashamed as I am about it, I (with some help) wrote a song about her, called Psycho Mom. But since it's funny, and this is anonymous, here it is:

Psycho mom
Dictates when I go to bed!
Psycho mom
what's going on in that bright red head? (she dyes her hair red, but says it's brown. Next semester I'm going to dye it blue, and if she gets mad I'm going to say it's still blonde)

Psycho Mom
lies to get her way!
Psycho Mom
There'll be hell to pay!

Psycho Mom
yells at me when I cry!
Psych Mom!
Why do I even try?

And also, I've been listening to It's My Life by Bon Jovi and My Life by Billy Joel. Yes, when I rebel, I do it to Billy Joel. Anyhoo, to My Life I adlib. Wanna read it? Too bad. My comments are in parrenthesis.

I don't need you to worry for me cos I'm alright (Really, I am)
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home (I can visit Lisa's house any time I want! (This is my sis, my mom made a big stink of me staying there awhile ago instead of coming home, because she was mad at me))
I don't care what you say anymore this is my life (I'm living in McCormick now, dammit! (that's actually the rec hall, but I'm not stupid enough to put where I live out on the internet))
go ahead with your own life, leave me alone (if you HAD a life)

Don't get me wrong, i still belong (Please don't disown me, I still like dad)
you can speak your mind, but not on my time (Here I plug my ears and go "la la la la")

Yep, I'm a childish, jerk of a daughter. But oh well.

I'm pretty weird. Just now I was listening to Christian rock (I don't consider myself Christian, though my parents consider me so), and now I'm listening to Offspring. Talk about a shift that will blow your mind.

Yay, I'm moving away from this hell hole tomorrow. Sure, it will be to another hell hole, because I'll still be in the ass crack that is I S freakin' U, but it'll at least be a quiet hell hole, God willing.

It's pretty amusing (to me, at least), up on the dry erase board we keep up on the door (on the inside, us anti-socialites, us) we have our farewells. My roomie put up a hand, waving goodbye, saying "good riddance."

I remarked to her that my most likely farewell would be the one finger salute, rather than a wave. So she made me draw that up there, on my side. Then, since she had "good riddance" so I had to think of a similar verbal farewell. And since she had good riddance, I had to choose something stronger, just so it'd match the one finger salute. So....I thought for awhile, and ended up with, "Before I leave, I'm peeing on your door, bastards!"

Because if I thought I could get away with it, I would, that's how bitter I am.

Back when we were neighbors, I asked the Warden why he never left this valley, why he didn't get away from the prison and me and the ignorant young guards and the bells across the lake and all the rest of it. He had years of leave time he had never used.

He said, "I would only meet more people."

"You don't like any kind of people?" I said. We were talking in a sort of joshing mode, so I could ask him that.

"I wish I had been born a bird instead," he said. "I wish we had all been born birds instead."

~Hocus Pocus
Kurt Vonnegut

If I were a work of art, I would be Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa. I am extremely popular and widely known. Although unassuming and unpretentious, my enigmatic smile has charmed millions. I am a mystery, able to be appreciated from afar, but ultimately unknowable and thus intriguing. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

What I find amusing, is that the stuff I just pasted up there has: Copy and paste this HTML code to add this vital information to your web site above it. Pointless fun on a wednesday afternoon: yes. Vital information: no

Ooh, and I think I should've picked bright colors instead of earthy ones. Mona Lisa is a bit TOO earthy for me. If I change it to bright colors, I get the Salvador Dali one with the melting clocks. Whoo!

And...uhm...with black and white, I still get the melting clocks. I'm not exactly sure how that works......

(Photo courtesy of my homegirl)

On a happy note: I am moving! Yaaaaay! This friday, in fact! Whoo!

mmmm, pumpkin pie and greasy potato slab for breakfast. What could be better?

I wonder if pumpkin pie counts as a vegetable. I'm really being healthy! I actually got the urge for pumpkin pie this morning, because my mom made a sham out of thanksgiving by having pumpkin cheesecake instead this year, so I needed some pure pumpkin pie today.

Greasy Potato Slab(TM) is the school's hash browns.

Hmm...all I had to blog about yesterday is 1) I think my poor music teacher is being screwed. She doesn't have tenure yet, and all of these people in my class evaluated her badly. Which is pretty sad, considereing she's one of the few half-decent teachers I've had at I S Freaking U

2) History. He's beginning to annoy me, just showing videos all the time. He's far more interesting than them. Especially since the videos have these soap-opera like reenactments of meetings between people, complete with that background music. One of the ones yesterday was actually half interesting....it showed all of these propaganda movies Japan brainwashed its people with. The first couple were funny--they just depicted us and britain as stupid and cowardly or whatever. And said how good they were compared to us. But some of the others were scary--they depicted Roosevelt as the devil incarnate, and showed burning flags with "we'll get the infidels" Well, they didn't say infidels, but something like that. At the time, Japan felt that they were hugely superior to us. Oh, and the leader of China at the time, Chiang Kai-Chek--they gave him a special shout out at the end of the flag burning routine. "We're comeing for you!" Creepy.

And, when I was little, I never really got what the huge deal was about pearl harbor..... But they showed it yesterday, and it made me really sad. Sept. 11 has really opened my eyes, I guess. And all the propaganda reminded me of how Laden's trying to convince the rest of the world that we are infidels.

Dammit! My roommate (ficklest woman in the USA) HAS decided to move to the other room.

Buuuut, now the site isn't working properly.

Damn you, I S Freaking U!

That's what I shall call my univerisity from now on. ISU, F-U!

Dude! I'm sooooo excited! I've been linked to for the first time!

Second time, actually--the first time was by one of my dearest friends in the world. Buuuut, since she's one of my dearest friends in the world, I often consider it as a pity link. Or a reciprical(sp?) because I have her up there.

Anyhoo, my first non-pity referral is up at Maybe God is Always Angry, down at the left with his other links. I'm stoked! Especially since it is a pretty funny blog. You know what that means--I'm going to ride that dude's coat tails to success! Hell yea! Whoo!

Tee hee... and my best bug says she's going to ride on my coat tails after I've gained succes by riding on his coat tails.

After that, I don't know. Mebbe we can become rich media moguls. Damn straight! Hell Yea!

Wait....I'm not exactly sure what "mogul" means..... Whoo! :P

Got another english paper back. A-. I'm beyond wondering now.

Good news: He has jury duty when we have finals, so now our final is a take home essay rather than one we have to write on the spot. GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN LEGAL SYSTEM!

Poopy news: there's only one room I can move to, and its on an honors floor, which my roommate isn't in and can't go there. So...either I don't move, or I end up with a new roommate, which I don't want. Bleeeeeeeeeh. So far, right now, I'm not moving.

*the roommate's door is probably going to have ass written on it many times in the future* Because they ARE asses.

Christmas break is almost upon us! :D

I've just realized I have quite a violent streak in me. For example, here's part of an ongoing story I'm writing:

Sod started hitting on Phoebe as well. His original plan was to hit on Belinda, but he was (barely) smart enough to realize it'd get a shoe upside his head. Or somewhere even more unpleasant. "I'd like some fries with that shake!" he remarked, though Phoebe was obviously sitting and not walking, or really moving much at all.

Chris: Aaaaaaahrg! What is this? Pick on the maimed guy day? *he held up a mangled hand* I'm maimed. It's bad karma to abuse me!

Martha Stewart looked it up in her stylish planner, "Actually, it IS national "pick on the maimed guy" day." She threw the planner at Chris's head. This knocked Chris unconcious, leaving Belinda without any recourse but to start blugeoning Martha with the shoe, because once she got on a shoe-blugeoning spree, it was difficult to stop.

Martha brought out some delightfully decorative nunchucks and started beating on Belinda.

"Ow!" Belinda yelped, as she was hit by a pine cone-bedecked nunchuck, "Someone help me!"

(if you want, you can read the rest of the story--though that part isn't up yet--at Arse Pimples)

I've got my main character attacking a maimed guy (a tiger did it, who also ate his friend entirely) and then Martha Stewart attacking her with nunchuks. I think that points to a disturbed mind.....

Speaking of disturbed minds, my mom was on my case today to help my dad put up some Christmas decorations outside, but I had to write these 3 papers. It turns out, I would've had time to after all, but I like to give myself extra, in case I get writer's block or something. Anyhoo, I went out to dad afterwards to ask him if he still needed my help, and he told me he didn't even need any in the first place. Grr..... Also, what he was puttin gup are these hideous fake spiraly trees made of lights, so when you light it up, it looks sort of like a tree, though everyone knows it's just like a conical spiral of green lights. Or whatever color. I think we have two white ones and two blue ones, or something like that. Anyhoo, if she thought dad needed some help, why didn't she do it? She was the one who thought he needed help so bad, and didn't have anything better to do. Plus, she was the one who made us get those stupid trees in the first place.

And I don't think it was so dad and I could get some quality time in or anything, either. I'm cool with my dad, we spend way more time together than I spend with her anyway, and most of that time is mucho pleasant, unlike my time with her.

God I hop she never finds this webpage. I'd be dead :P

One good thing my mom's done lately?

She's getting me my british books for christmas! She went to a used book store with connections all over. Red Dwarf is coming from Canada and I'm getting a used copy of Dirk Gently's Hollistic Detective Agency from New Jersey.

Now why they're more safe from anthrax than the UK.............?

Bah, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Phoe!

Duuuude, I don't know why, but the Dave Matthews dream reminded me of something else:

Yesterday, my old english guy was telling us that when he lived out in Colorado, he lived right across from Ricky Schroeder.

It's a small world.

Guess who had the weirdest dream ever last night?

Yep. It was me.

It started out that I was in this college drama class. And my teacher was Dave Matthews. On top of that, Dave Matthews was my uncle. Oh, and Dave Matthews was a real jerk to me in this dream. And I was really bad at acting, which that part is real. Anyhow, we were trying to do stand up comedy (why, in a drama class, I don't know) we each had several turns. Finally, I had a turn where I was totally unprepared and was actually eating when I got called to the stage. So I was trying to chew and swallow and begin and stuff, and this guy (he's actually this annoying kid from my high school) with a pen halfway up his nose is like, "You're disgusting! You're eating on the stage!"

And I managed to smoke him, going, "Dude. I'm eating, and you have a pen up your nose, and you think I'm the weird one?" And then he said something else, and I said another witty retort, and then the bell rang. So, I actually performed well that once. Then Dave Matthews announced a quiz at 8:00 p.m. on saturday.

Well, I went home, and my parents were away, so they had me stay with my uncle and aunt. (yep. Dave matthews) And he was supposed to drive me to the quiz. But he was a real jerk about it. And, my cousins were 1) this girl who had lived next door to me when I was little and 2) this girl who i knew in high school. And we slept really late, and Dave Matthews woke me up rudely. And then my cousins were making fun of me for not likeing hard rock, and i was trying to prove to them I did because I like Incubus and A Perfect Circle. (this is especially funny because the girl from high school LOVED N'Suck) And A Perfect Circle came on the radio and we listened to them for awhile. And then, there was something or other we wanted to go and look for, so we were doing that.

Then, the lady who is going to be my boss at the desk called me up on my cell phone (which I don't have one in real life). But, instead of her normal spanish accent, she had a german accent. And I all didn't believe it was my boss, because she was all german sounding. Then she put me on hold for a really long time, but it wasn't too bad because they were playing Incubus. Then she came back with like proof it was her or something, then wanted me to come over and do something. and I said I couldn't, because I was staying with my uncle and aunt, and I sure as heck knew Dave Matthews wouldn't drive me there. The End.

I have weird dreams. But they're amusing, at least.