Well, I haven't been posting much lately because I haven't been doing much at all lately. Unless you count watching daytime TV, re-reading old books, and listening to my headphones.

...Anyone know where I could get a life? Or a job?

Alternatune's new, a mini-review of some free songs on Amazon.

Phoemeister: I myself applied to work at a natural gas company today.
Phoemeister: True story.
Kin: Well. There you go.
Kin: Doing what?
Phoemeister: Customer service, which I'm thinking involves answering phones, because the online ap asked a lot of questions about my skills at answering phones :P
Kin: Yeah, I'd say that that would be about all you'd do.
Kin: Answering phones, and talking to angry customers.
Phoemeister: lol, yeah. I figured that too. Among other things, I've been applying to a lot of that type of job.
Phoemeister: Better angry natural gas customers than angry phone sex customers, I always say.
Kin: And there's a good quote.

Only I didn't use it, because I figure it'll make me depressed if I use that and then don't get the job. Whereas if I just post it here I'll forget it and read it years later, and be like, "Man, I'm hilarious! Phone sex! Natural gas! Grade A comedy!"

New Alternatune. It's all about my trip to Best Buy today. Really, people should keep me away from Best Buy when I'm depressed, because my resistance to impulse buys is greatly diminished. I barely walked away without buying the entire store. As it is, I still ended up with a compilation CD with the greatly nerdy title "Punkorama" as well as what I'd gone there to get in the first place (which was probably a frivolous purchase in and of itself).

Anyway, it's quite rambly. I ramble when I'm depressed, too. Though actually I ramble when I'm not depressed as well. So, basically... now I'm rambling about rambling.

Also I've been asking people for quotes I can put into my randomizer up at the top of the blog. So if you have any... tell me! I'll use it unless it's too long or horribly racist. That's a promise from me to you.

Today I helped my parents babysit the 'phew (AKA sat around and watched my parents play with the 'phew) while my sister and her husband went to see batman. Then we all went out to dinner together for my brother in law's birthday. I got him a card that says, "I thought you'd like a scratch and sniff card for your birthday!" on the outside, and on the inside has a guy scratching his butt while a dog smells it. Now that's what we here in the midwest call "classy."

Also, I bought myself some chapstick, as my lips have been freakishly dry lately, and then I used up the chapstick I had been using lately, and had been using this old tube of bonne bell that I'm apparently allergic to because my lips started itching, so I had to throw it away. Thus the need for the new chapstick. True story.

So I haven't heard anything from the station, which means I'm probably not hired, she said since they needed someone right away, she'd call Wednesday if I got it.

So all that worrying was for nothing. I'm back to being a total loser that all employers dodge like a leper for some reason that I can't figure out, instead of being a loser who can't decide whether not to take a job I'm unsure of or stay (and I've been told by a good portion of people that I'm a total wuss, thanks).

Sadness.

Sui: looks like another $80/mo I'm going to be pulling out of my ass
Phoemeister: you're lucky though
Phoemeister: only poo comes out of my ass
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: and it's not even regular poo. Pretty gross.

and the chair is a ladderback birch, but his friends call him Karl.

--"Ikea," Jonathan Coulton

Well, I did not do too much today except go to the mall to buy some earphones. I'd slammed the pair I usually use (though I do have a ton of half-broken pairs I can't bear to throw away because they're not completely useless yet) in a car door awhile ago. It made me especially mad, as I tend to wear out most earphones pretty fast, but this pair had far outlasted most without showing any signs of wearing out in the near future, so they were obviously a pretty good pair.

On the positive side, the ones I bought were exactly alike, so hopefully they will be just as nice.

I have still been tearing myself up over the job decision, but who knows. I might not even get the choice anyway, if I don't get hired. I should know by the end of tomorrow, though, either way.

I'm also really irritated--I can't copy CD tracks onto my computer anymore. I can't even play cd's in my computer. I've used Windows Media Player, Musicmatch, and RealOne, and none of them will work anymore on CD's. Even ones I've used before. But it's not like the CD drive won't work. I look on Explore, and the tracks are right there. Every time I put a music CD in, RealOne will pop up, which it only does for music CD's, not for CD's with other programs in, so my computer clearly recognizes there is music on the CD's. It's driving me nuts. I really have a love-hate relationship with this computer. I love having my own computer. I love using it when it works. I hate the fact that there's always something I have to deal with.

In other news, Tina says that the main character of Dead Like Me, a TV show on cable, really reminds her of me, and what's more, even her fiancee thought that. I kind of think maybe I saw an ep once back when I had cable, but I don't really remember. Also frustrating, a long time ago she told me this chick in a book about vikings that get transfered to modern times, and this woman who kind of has to herd them around and keep them from damaging things reminded her of me. Frustratingly is because it's out of print, and like the cable show, I have no way of comparing to see how what she thinks of me compares to what I think of me. The only other character from anything anyone else has said reminded them of me is another friend said the woman from Barbara Kingsolver's "The Bean Trees" reminded him of me. Which I actually was able to get my hands on that. And ended up reading all of her books after that. I couldn't see a huge resemblence to me in the character, but found it flattering, as it was a character I would like to be like. So perhaps I have hidden good qualities. And/or will end up in charge of vikings someday.

Phoemeister: I still want to know what is me-esque about the character on that show though
Tina: hard to explain
Tina: just her mental dialogue
Phoemeister: that's what you said about the viking book character
Phoemeister: you must think it's a lot more interesting in my head than it actually is
Tina: well considering this is how we interact, it's almost like being in your head


Sui: I'm sure things go on in your head
Sui: but I don't think you have long conversations with the voices or anything
Phoemeister: Yeah. It's more like a power point presentation, with these little hamster guys with pointers to emphasize the important bits
Sui: haa
Sui: okay you're nuts
Phoemeister: no
Phoemeister: I'd be nuts if they were squirrel guys
Sui: haha
Sui: so you're just crazy?
Phoemeister: you love it
Phoemeister: the sad thing is I stole the whole hamster guys thing from a quote I read a long time ago and thought particularly funny
Sui: haha
Sui: well it works

I really, really, STILL hate making decisions.

I kind of decided last night/this morning that I didn't want the job. For all the aforementioned reasons. But I had the interview, and now I'm doubting again a little. The lady who'd be my boss is really nice, way more approacable than the guy at the other station (not that he was mean, but hard to get to know). And she said something about hiring based on "citizenship" instead of skill, because you can learn skills, but you can't learn how not to be a jerk. So it'd mean no total A-holes like DB.

I don't know if I'll even get it, though. I've never gotten a job before that anyone besides me applied for. Honestly. I'm the biggest loser ever.

What makes it worse is I had to fill out an application when I got there, which I didn't know I'd need to do, and I didn't remember the phone numbers of my references or my former jobs, so I had to make them up, which will make me look like a total liar if they check them.

Anyway, I have to decide, in case they do want me, so I don't have to make a snap decision on the phone when they tell me, or go "uhh... let me think about it a second."

Gah. Do I really want to move to a town that I know nobody in and end up stuck there when I quit because I sign a stupid lease or soemthing? Or get the worst, most unpredictable hours ever? And drive all day, every day?

But do I want to sit around twiddling my thumbs being a leech on society for even longer?

I hate, hate, HATE this.

new alternatune

Thankfully, I resolved the issue with my friend. Well... not totally resolved, he's still mad. But not "I will never speak to you again" mad. So that's good.

I'm still beating myself up over that interview thing. I still can't decide whether I'd actually take the job if I get it. I just... hated the other station so much by the end. And I really am frightened of that much driving. When I'm looking for someplace I've never been before, I have a lot of close calls because I'm paying attention to where I'm going more than what I'm doing. You multiply that by the number of hours I'd work a week by how long I end up doing it--and the odds are I'm going to have an accident. I even had two minor accidents in the semester I worked at the other station! And I hate being cooped up in the car all day anyway. Those vans have a lot of inertia, and after a day of that I kind of have this uber-whiplash headache. (not that I'm not honestly, without exaggeration, having headaches every day anyway these days--I think there's something seriously wrong with me but I don't really know what to do about it since that headache preventative stuff never panned out)

But if I only did it for a couple years, I could parlay that experience into a job in corporate video, which is really what I wanted in the first place.

But if I hated it the entire time I was there, would it be worth it? And if I decide, "well, I'll take the job but skip out after a couple weeks if I absolutely hate it" is it worth it? I'd have to do a lot of uprooting to move there if I didn't know I was for sure. Not to mention all the shit I would have to deal with from my mom. I know this is just "a job." And if I take it, I CAN quit. But it feels like... if I pick that, and I don't like it, I'm kind of stuck. Even my dad's been questioning whether I want to do this. He's asked me if I had had the option, would I have stayed with the other station? And I said I didn't know. And he said, "well the only differences I can think of between staying on at the old station and going to this station are 1) positive--maybe you'd have a better working environment 2) negative--having to move so far."

But also to factor in: back then I didn't know that not even stupid friggin' wal-mart would hire me! Can I really afford to just turn down job offers right now? I know I'm not in any financial trouble, as the 'rents are taking care of me. But I really want to leave the nest. I really want my life to begin. I don't want to be the person who is still living with their parents when they're 30, and I feel like I'm swiftly being drawn into that position if I don't do something soon.

I hate making big decisions.

In other news: now my mom seems to be going back on wanting the china. Because my interview is, ironically, up near where my grandpa lives, so it actually would not be a huge problem for me to pick up the china while I'm up there anyway. I mentioned this to her and she was kind of like, "we'll see." Which means, "I'm lazy and don't want to deal with trying to sell it, even if you're willing to pick it up, and I don't just want it laying around our house, even if you want it."

So... I have about a hundred things to mention.

First off, one of the TV stations I applied to AGES ago called me up today, and now I have an interview. And I'm just so conflicted about it. On one hand, I really, really used to like being a photog. And on the other hand, I really, really, hate it now. Working at a real TV station is SO much pressure, and there's SO much driving, and I'm a really shitty driver, and really shitty at finding my way around a strange place. But I am so tired of being unemployed and worthless right now. I hate trying to make decisions like this. I'm a horrible worrier. I'm going to be up all night every night until this finally is resolved.

On top of this, my Mom's extra supportive. No, I'm not letting her determine my life. Whatever I choose isn't going to be because of her. But you've got to love someone who says this to you when you're having a crisis:

Mom: (name of town the station's in) is really horrible and dangerous!
Me: Well maybe I'll see that myself if I go there and decide not to work there.
Mom: It'll be too late when someone's killed you!

So... fun.

And this morning, I was pretty pissed at my mom anyway. You know the whole Marine china deal I mentioned in the last entry? Well she FINALLY believed me that it might be worth something, I guess, because SHE went and looked it up online. And proceeds to tell me EXACTLY what I told her two days ago that I found online! She must've totally IGNORED me when I first told her. I hate that. It makes me feel invisible. And she's doubly a jerk for making more work for everyone, deciding they might be valuable now, because it means another trip up there to get them (though she still isn't totally committing to saving the plates yet).

And as if all of that wasn't enough, one of my best friends hates me, and I don't even know what to do about it. This won't even be the first time a really good friend tells me they never want to see me again. Am I just that much of a bitch? It's not like I have a whole heap of friends to spare in the first place.

On a lighter note--I did actually go and see Batman with a friend the other night. It was a lot better than I expected. Anyway, I want to post a bit of conversation we had because it struck me as amusing and I didn't want to forget it:

Friend: Why is that dude (points to dude) wearing sunglasses at night?
Me: Maybe his future is so bright he had to wear shades!

So I'm back from my grandpa's. You losers didn't miss me. Losers!

I think I'm going to have a new step-grandma soon. And my mom didn't make a horrible scene about it like I thought she would. So that's good.

I am currently sleep deprived. I would like to make a crotchety old person observation: "They can put a man on the moon, but they can't make a pull out bed that's comfortable?" Seriously. I think it's true, they never have. There's always that hump in the middle where it folds. They should do something about that. Seriously.

Also: the guy my grandpa sold his house to (they haven't moved out yet, but they HAVE sold the house) just came and decided to mow at the crack of dawn for no reason I can tell, robbing me of yet more sleep.

We got first dibs on stuff he was rounding up for the garage sale. I ended up with some afghans that I didn't really want because I already have a ton of afghans. And the few things I would've enjoyed taking, my mom vetoed.

For one thing, they had a ton, a TON of old records. And this one Nat King Cole album was the only thing I found recognizeable at all. I bet there are some very valuable records in there.

Anyway, I saw an album of banjo music that I really wanted, but my mom wouldn't let me take it. She apparently has something against the banjo. And I promised her I wouldn't play it around her, but she was having none of that. It really irritated me. What's it to her if I take a banjo record? There was also a record, that I didn't particularly want but I want to mention because it's funny, it had a midget on the cover, playing a gigantic harp, and it was called, "Have harp, can't travel." I saw that, and it was like, "What the....?"

I also saw some old staplers. The kind that're steel, with the knob thing on top. I was attracted to them. I DO have a weird stapler fixation. And I'm not just saying that to be funny. I love staplers. I don't even know why. I knew there was no way my mom would let me have them, though, so I didn't say anything.

There was an antique camera that was really cool, but I wouldn't know what to do with it.

And the thing I really wanted were some plates. Actually, I have plates for when I move out, my sister had a set and got a better set when she got married, so I'd get her castoffs. But these plates were super-cool because my grandpa stole them from the U.S. Marine Corps. Honestly--he was a supply sergeant in world war II, and at the end of the war he took a set of Marine Corps. china home with him. And the stuff's still in really good condition. AND I think it could be worth a lot of money, I looked up the manufacturer on the internet, and while I couldn't find Marines china, I did find Navy china, and the Navy china was pretty expensive. You could probably sell it for a lot, but obviously my grandpa wants to get moved out pretty fast and doesn't have the time. But I would love to keep it myself, and if I couldn't, I think it would be better to sell it to a collector who appreciates what it is, instead of selling it a dime a plate at a garage sale. And my mom put her foot down about that, too, which really upsets me. I mean, maybe she thought it was frivolous, but I actually DID want that china. And I DID want that record. I know well enough not to get something that would just collect dust, like the staplers, but apparently all I get to remember my grandparents by is blankets I didn't want anyway.

Anyway, there was tons more things, none of which I wanted. My grandma was a total packrat. 8 track tapes, ugly knick knacks, old tools, toilet seat, waffle iron, juicer, heater, ad nauseam......

Phoemeister: eww
Phoemeister: I just realized I kind of like the new backstreet boys song
Tina: :: LAUGHS:: poor baby

I overheard that you were unhappy too

--"The Velorium Camper Pt. II: Backend of Forever" Coheed & Cambria

So... going to my Grandpa's tomorrow: take II

I'm going to my Grandpa's tomorrow. Not that you losers will miss me! Losers!

Today I got "eliminate debt--the Christian way!" in my spam. It looks very nice in with all the porn and offers to make my penis bigger. I also enjoyed the title, " get a new phone or something" on one of my others. It reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite when Napoleon asks Pedro how he's going to get a girl to go out with him, and he says, "Build her a cake or something."

EVERYTHING relates to that movie.

I went to apply to another job yesterday. It actually took like, two hours because I had a preliminary interview, three pre-employment tests, an online job application, a questionaire on why I wanted a jop there, what skills I think I have, etc, and then another short interview, and some waiting in between each one of those things.

I was actually kind of pissed, because I didn't know beforehand that it would be this long drawn out thing. And I sure as hell didn't want to spend that much time doing all that crap if I wasn't going to get a job anyway, which I pretty much feel like every time I go in to try and get a job anymore, even crap places like Wal-Mart.

But after I took the tests I was deemed "competitive," which the lady said was pretty much the best place to be, so I'm in their database now, if they ever need to hire anyone. So, we'll see. I really, really, really, really, really, really, hope I get it. They're the first place to sound like they are interested in me for real, and not only that, it's not a crap job. It's like customer service at an insurance company. I would get ten bucks an hour, which is a lot to me. I've never gotten over minimum wage, in jobs that no one else applied for before. So here's hoping.

Today I went to the library. I'm running out of stuff to read, so if anyone has any suggestions, I would LOVE you forever. But bear in mind the libraries around here wouldn't have anything too obscure.

So I went to the interview with the library. Apparently they'll consider me if there are any openings, but there probably aren't, and if there were, they'd be in herding kids through the Summer Reading Program, which--no, I'm the only female on earth who doesn't get all gushy at the mention of hanging out with kids.

Which makes me kind of irritated that the one friend was all, "Bloomington Library! They're looking for people!" Gah. I don't even like it half as much as Normal's. It's in a maze of one way streets and streets that don't go all the way through, so I was actually late to my interview before I got lost.

I told the lady interviewing me about my possible ambitions of Librarianhood, and she was not that helpful. She was like, "Well what do you THINK a real librarian does?" I wanted to be like, "Well, it's sure as hell not babysitting children for free!" At least, I hope it isn't. I'm hoping if I put the money and work into a friggin' master's degree it isn't. Which is precisely why I'd like to see what it's like before making that kind of investment.

Well I applied for another job, we'll see.

Most of my day was taken up reading Colors Insulting to Nature. It pretty much sucks. The narrator breaks the fourth wall all the time to go, "Culture is crappy, we all want to live our life like the formula of some happy movie where everything turns out right yada yada yada) and takes thrills in pointing out in asides each time when the formula's "breached" in the story. But... *spoiler*

everything DOES end up all happy and she DOES in a roundabout way get the two things she's wanted all her life. But just so it doesn't "adhere" to the formula, the author makes everything until the end a ginormous depressing pain. You kind of sympathize with the main character while she's a teenager still being screwed over by her mom and all, but after awhile you're like, "she's STILL that selfish and stupid?" And you're dragged into her downward spiral and the drug use, etc.

Drug use is the most boring subject, honestly. Because the author's like, "And so and so started to use drugs..." and you don't even have to read the next 10 chapters of the book because you know that basically the drugs are going to reduce them to rock bottom, and there's no suspense to it, because you basically KNOW it's going to happen.

The only character I found very interesting was the main character's brother, he *spoiler* ends up this tortured gay agoraphobic artist, but everything involving him is just spit out in these abrupt little bits that aren't elaborated on too much because the author is in a hurry to get back to the main narrative of the annoying, drugged-up sister.

Phoemeister: um... don't look out your window right now :P
LSEG: Doh! You're at my house??? I'm at YOUR house!
Phoemeister: Damn.
LSEG: Double damn
Phoemeister: we should compare stalking notes next time

So I was talking to my sister about the injury I got while chasing her dog. And I have to clarify, everyone thinks I'm a total feeb for getting this injury. And while yes, I am highly uncoordinated, and no, if I were more careful it wouldn't have happened. But it wasn't just standing up, it was a standing up while pivoting and trying to keep track of a wily, speedy canine all at the same time. Just so's you know. What kills me is I used to play the same game, running full tilt back and forth through the house after the dog we had when I was little and never hurt myself. But now that I'm all old and tired and barely jog, now's when I injure myself.

Anyway, I was teasing her about it the other day, being all, "Your dog is going to be responsible for the medical bills! He planned it!" and she was immediately all, "Hey, it's not his fault, Mom said!" And that just irritated the crap out of me. Because no, it's not that bad of an injury. And no, I don't blame the dog or my sister for me being a complete ass. But it kills me that my mom is all putting words in my mouth about something she didn't even notice when it happened, and of course defending the dog like anyone was out to get the dog in the first place. Her first indication anything was wrong is me going, "Um, I hit my head pretty hard. Will I be alright?" and she's like, "Oh whatever, you'll be fine." Until 15 minutes later when I show her the massive swelling (it came back down after ice) and she's all, "You're not nauseous, are you? Dizzy?" So I guess she didn't believe me how bad it was when I first told her.

Today I went to the Normal libary. Carey E. Burdette, which I don't know if I've said before, is the public library for the tiny town of Carlock (500 people, I think it said on the sign...), so they don't exactly have a huge selection. But the library card I get at Carey E. Burdette is good in Normal or Bloomington. For some reason involving library district boundaries, we have to pay if we try and get a card at Normal or Bloomington, but if we drive all the way out to Carlock, it's free.

We're just in a weird situation in general. This is probably horribly explicit stalking information, but basically I have a Bloomington address, a Danvers (another small town around here) phone number (which really sucks because calling ANYWHERE costs us long distance, and there's only one ISP for Danvers and it's really crappy), I went to Carlock grade school, and I went to Normal high school.

So I go into the Normal libary, and pick up a ton of books and then... can't get them checked out. I'm not in the system--which is probably my fault, the last time I renewed my card was probably around '98*, so even though I renewed at Carey E. Burdette, the bar code I was using wasn't really in Normal's system anymore.

They have me fill out some "non-resident" card to get a new bar code for my card, but when they notice I live in Bloomington, not Carlock, they are like, "wha?" so I give them the whole spiel I gave you earlier that you are now going to use to stalk me. And so the lady finally gives up and calls Bloomington library and asks them what to do, and they apparently have had several people with my situation, and were just like, "do what you were going to do before you found out she was from Bloomington."

Throughout this whole thing, I felt so guilty, even though I hadn't done anything. They weren't acting suspicious or anything, and even apologized to me several times, but I kept feeling like they were going to turn on me and accuse me of trying to bilk the library out of free books, which is pretty much what a library is all about in the first place, come to think about it. On Tuesday I have the interview at Bloomington libary to become a volunteer, and I was just thinking, "Oh, I hope whoever interviews me isn't at the other end of that phone and all hates me now." Somehow I have Catholic guilt without ever having been Catholic.

Anyway, I got like 4 books, 3 of them I got from browsing the "new arrivals" section. I feel that I'm branching out more, I used to only read Sci Fi/Fantasy, but I only got random stuff this time. The lady wished me good luck, since the new arrivals, I can only have for a week, and that's a lot of reading. And for a second, in my head, I was like, "oh, should I put some back," but then I realized I read 5 books last week without really trying particularly. Which tells you how much time I have on my hands. I'm going to apply for another job tomorrow, though. *crossed fingers*

Anyway, last week I read: A Beautiful Mind, State of Fear, The Ship Who Sang, The Worthing Saga, and 1632. I'd also meant to read this biography of Buzz Aldrin I'd picked up, but it was not very good (I mean, it started AFTER he'd been on the moon!) and it had the normal "musty old book smell" but like... times 100. It was gross.

The books I picked up today were: Heir to the Glimmering World, the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, Colors Insulting to Nature, and The Second Life of Samuel Tyne. ...I've read the first two already.

The curious incident was awesome, actually. It's written from the perspective of an autistic kid, which is really cool. Sometimes I find books written from a perspective of people whose mental states are not like the average person somewhat harder to understand (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest, from the perspective of a schizophrenic is kind of messed up, for instance), but this is actually a really straightforward book--mostly because his brain is more straightforward than most people's. The title refers to the fact that he discovers a dead dog, and trys to solve the mystery Sherlock-Holmes style, only to uncover more and more mysteries. It is a good plot, and the characters are sweet and funny and tragic at times. I really enjoyed it.

Heir to the Glimmering World was horrible. The problem I find with non-genre fiction a lot of times is it's just sad and doesn't go anywhere, which is basically how I'd sum up this book. It started out good, I was intrigued by the characters and the situation, but it just kept... going. But nowhere in particular. I guess you could say the same about one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut, but he at least gives you the decency of breaking up the depression occaisionally with something funny. I think the author was bogged down in trying to describe human nature, but I was like, "Whatever, man."

Also, what is up with novels that say "a novel" on the cover nowadays? All four of the books I got say that. How stupid are you before you don't know what you're reading is a novel?

___
* I lost my wallet, containing my card, my first day at ISU. So instead of bothering to go all the way to carlock to get a new card, I got a Normal libary student card based on my dorm address in Normal and have been using it for the last 4 years or so. Weirdly enough, my wallet showed up 1 year after I lost it, intact except for the cash I had had on me. So I am actually still using the same library card I've had since 4th grade.

Man am I lonely.

I guess I'm in a loquacious mood tonight, this is like my 18th post. But what I wanted to mention is, having been in not one, but TWO libaries lately (boy am I ever edumacated), I was thinking of those READ posters. I like how trendy they are. Just as soon as anyone gets big, they have a READ poster. I think if I ever got a READ poster I'd be crazy with happiness, because it'd be a signal that I have really arrived.

Anyway, I'd like to know what they do with the old READ posters once they're done with them. They had an Orlando Bloom poster in the Carey E. Burdette Memorial Library, and I had to mourn the Michael J. Fox READ poster of my youth. Anyway--there have to be TONS of those things. Because the Normal Public Library and Milner Library (ISU's Library) just have them all over the place, not to mention my high school library, my jr high library, and my grade school library. And most of them are celebrities that are pretty famous right whenever I'm in there. So they must come out with 5 or 10 every year or couple of years. What do they do with all the old ones?

Anyway, if they just throw them away, I wish they would just give them to me. I'd love to be "that chick who collects READ posters." That could be my thing. If I became really famous for it, I could be on the quintessential READ poster, holding up an old READ poster in one hand, and the book of my choice in the other hand. But on an entirely serious note: I would love to collect old READ posters. I think it would be interesting to be like, "Man! Boyz II Men rated a READ poster, but not Weird Al? I can't believe Christina Aguilara's reading 'The Feminist Ethic' in her READ poster! I don't care what anyone says, Michael J. Fox looked HOT in that READ poster, and I'm going to make out with it every night from now on!"

I do think it's kind of funny that most of the READ posters I see over the years are from people I KNOW don't read (Eminem, Fred Durst, The Rock), and/or are movie or TV stars who basically are what are drawing kids away from reading in the first place.

Which, by the way, is something I'm sad about. I saw the trailer for The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe the other day and it pretty much strikes me that all the great kids books from when I was little are going to be movies and most kids aren't going to bother reading them anymore. And reading them just makes you love them SO MUCH. There's not a single movie I can remember watching as a kid that I still really love, but I have a ton of kids books that I still do. They just totally stick with me so much more, I can remember the awe I used to feel. But they're plumbing every book from when I was little, plus anything new that comes along that could possibly encourage reading and make it into a movie almost before you can turn around.

And I'm actually annoyed at all the book, comic book, TV, inspired movies. It's not that I hate them. But just... when there are SO many it just continues the homogeny. No one wants to make a movie to be a movie or a book to be a book anymore, which is sad because when something is crafted from start to finish to be what it is, it's usually a better product than adaptions, and so much more variety when everyone's trying to come up with original products for their medium.

Oh well.

it's best when it's not in context

Tina: sweet, make the druggie's day
Phoemeister: lol, I know
Phoemeister: that's clearly what I'm here for

Tina: need to go wash dishes so I can go to bed... tired
Phoemeister: awww, bye
Tina: wild pig sex! squuuuuuuuuuueal

Tina: Jeff had Walker turn himself into a woman to see what it was like to be female because Key was pregnant.... THEN he liked it and did't want to change back when she got upset
Tina: Jeff STILL doesn't see why Key got mad
Phoemeister: Jeff's a goober

So no black eye. Mostly, my eyelid is bright pink, and it looks like I was all, "this will be pretty!" and put eyeshadow on one eye but not the other.

And I remembered what I wanted to blog about before though it's not that important. It was that show, Hit Me Baby One More Time. Generally I'm anti-reality shows and doubly anti-anything-referencing-Britney-Spears, but I thought it sounded like the awesomest show EVER.

But it wasn't. No campyness whatsoever. Which... you'd think is pretty much the point. But it wasn't good either. It was just... eh. First off: the announcer made Ryan Seacrest look like...I dunno, someone you like a helluva lot better than Ryan Seacrest. He just had the blandest most annoyingly british personality ever. And I LIKE british things. But he grated on my last nerve. He reminded me of those clueless hosts on SNL sketches of European pop music shows. 10 to 1 that's a made up british accent.

Secondly: they show what each artist has done since then, and I know it's kind of mean, but I'm expecting them to be all sad that they're washed up, but they aren't, they all STILL have huge houses with huge pools and loving spouses and are still working in the industry they love. It just makes you depressed about your own life. I'm 23. I'm unemployed. No one loves me. I have nothing better to be doing than watching Hit Me Baby One More Time. And Loverboy has a mansion? The world is not fair! It just makes you want to rip that ludicrous middle aged man-ponytail right off the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls!

So anyway, most of the old songs (they have to each play their one hit and then a cover of a newer hit by someone else) I was never hugely fond of anyway. It was funny, the fake young, attractive crowd they had pretending to rock out only really seemed sincere when rocking out to the like, 2 bands whose hit was even big since they've been born.

Arrested Development won this section, which I actually agree with mostly on the basis of the "cover of a new song" portion. Where Flock of Seagulls actually took a song I like (On The Way Down--Ryan I can't spell his last name :P) and made it HORRIBLE, and Loverboy took a song I hate (Hero--Enrique I also can't spell his last name) and made it even worse, and Tiffany pretty much sung her song (Break Away -- Kelly Clarkson) exactly like the song is originally, Arrested took a decent song (How Far is Heaven -- Los Lonely Boys) and put an interesting spin on it that didn't totally suck. Really... I'd never heard of them before, which also probably helps them annoy me less.

I forgot to mention several things that I meant to but got distracted by the head injury:

1) I finished A Beautiful Mind. Actually... I have some qualms. I remember how in the movie reviews were all, "They didn't bring in the fact that he was bisexual!" But really, in the book he has a couple of brief gay affairs and it's no huge deal. Whereas some of the other stuff they left out or changed around in the movie is staggering. Like, in my opinion, a main theme of the movie is the power of love. His wife sticks with him despite his illness. And in the end of the movie he gives this speech about how he owed everything to her. It gives you this warm feeling inside, you're just so happy for them. But really: they divorced like, in the 60's. He hated her for a long time for having him committed. They kind of got back to the point where they're living together after awhile, but still never re-married, and you could hardly say that his love for her or her love for him is what sustained him over the crazy years. Also, he has two kids. The one he has with his wife they kind of gloss over in the movie other than having it around as a baby. The illegitimate kid he has they never bring up at all. By the end of the book, the legitimate kid is just as crazy as Nash used to be, and the illegitimate kid pretty much hates him because he's never been there for him or his mother. Also, before Nash got crazy he was a huge jerk. About the only things that are the same as the movie are the really broad facts: he was a genius, he gets crazy, he gets better out of nowhere, he gets a nobel prize for stuff he did back before he was crazy.

2) Finished the Michael Crichton book. It got better. But I'm getting kind of tired of him and his preachiness. Most of his books, as anyone who's ever even seen the movie adaptation of Jurrassic Park can agree, are basically, "you should be responsible with technology, otherwise it's going to kill you and everyone you ever loved!" But even the non sci fi books are basically, "society's ridiculous! no one knows what the hell they're doing!" which the technology bit is probably a subcategory of. And this book's how Global Warming is totally bunk and everyone who thinks it isn't is an idiot, and no enviornmentalists know what the hell they're doing. So it got irritating to read a 500 page book of journal references on how global warming is totally bunk and no environmentalists know what the hell they're doing. He doesn't even try to make it not transparent that he thinks all environmentalists are idiots and everyone should disbelieve everything in the media and spend 8 hours a day looking up stuff they read or hear or see to make sure it's true.

3) Damn. This point was going to be the whole reason I made this post, but I forgot it again when I got sidetracked writing what I thought of those books.

So I was running around after my sister's dog..... and hit my head on a chair. Yes.... this is right up there with the time I dropped a free weight on my bare foot. I almost hope I get a black eye. When people ask about it, I'll tell them what happened, but I'll act all scared so they think I'm really a battered woman who made up a horrible excuse. Because this is right up with "I ran into the door" on "not plausible excuses for black eyes battered women give." Which, incidently, I DID run into a door once. But it wasn't hard enough to gain me a black eye.

One friend I told this to expressed genuine concern for my wellbeing, another mocked me.

Phoemeister: well, I have an ice pack to my head because I'm dangerously uncoordinated and whacked my head on a chair when playing with my sister's dog who is staying her while she's trying to get her house sold :P
Sui: ack.. that's not good : (
Sui: are you okay?
Phoemeister: it's kind of swelling
Phoemeister: but I don't think I have a concussion or anything
Phoemeister: I'm not sleepy
Sui: well that's good
Sui: dont' die!
Phoemeister: I'll try not to for your sake :P
Sui: haha thanks

Tina: I hope you were on the floor when you did this or I will really wonder
Phoemeister: I was bent over and stood up
Tina: and managed to hit your head
Phoemeister: I didn't say I was smart :P
Phoemeister: and did, in fact, mention I was dangerously uncoordinated
Tina: no, really?
Phoemeister: jeez
Phoemeister: don't come crying to me if you ever get injured
Phoemeister: you're mean!
Tina: I'm hyped up on sunflower seeds
Phoemeister: MEAN seeds, even!

So.... um..... if you have a friend who eats a lot of sunflower seeds, you might want to cut them off if you notice them getting meaner :P

on the job hunt

Phoemeister: I had an interview for barnes and noble, but since roughly 8,000,000,000 other people applied, I'm doubtful
Sui: doh : Sui: how'd the interview go?
Suibrom: did you spaz out and kill everyone?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: it went alright
Phoemeister: it was only a preliminary interview, they didn't ask me anything hard

Today I renewed my membership in the very exclusive Carey E. Burdette Memorial Libary. Yes, I spell Libary wrong on purpose because it gives me a sense of whimsey.

While I was there I got A Beautiful Mind, which, amazingly, is the basis for the movie A Beautiful Mind. It's proving quite interesting. The movie simplifies and invents a TON. And John Nash so far is a pretty big jerk. But I like it.

I also got an autobiography of Buzz Aldrin during the space-race years. Normally I only really read fiction, but the Carey E. Burdette Memorial Libary is rather limited in what it carries, so I had to be creative and broaden my browsing to include the non fiction section, which is how I ended up with two biographies.

Lastly, I got the new Michael Crichton book. Weirdly--I'm not so fond of it so far. It was the first book I started reading but it was really boring so I went to A Beautiful Mind. I have to say, this is the first M.C. book I've read where I've not been immediately hooked into the action. He seems to be trying to establish characters or something. Which, he shouldn't. We all know that his strength is fast-paced plotting, not characters. Oh well.... I'll try another whack at it, I'm sure. Maybe I'll like it then.