So employee appreciation day is coming up soon (Nov 9) and our discount goes up. I am basically going to do all my christmas shopping that day, and have asked all the family members to send in their various requests.

My mom: actually, this is the exception. I'm getting her the new Neil Diamond, which doesn't come out until the 11th or something so I can't get the extra discount and on top of that my regular discount isn't that great since my store overprices CD's so I might be taking a trip to best buy when it comes out. I have this kind of love hate relationship with Neil, where I kind of like him, but know I shouldn't. Also, of course, my mom LOVES him. Neil is to her what Ben Folds is to me. Only he's been her Ben Folds for like twenty years now whereas Ben Folds has only been my Ben Folds for five at the most. And on top of that, I keep reading articles and passing onto her articles about how his next album is going to totally kick ass because the famous producer Rick Rubin is going to turn his career around like he did for Johnny Cash or somesuch. I'm also thinking of, just to add an element of surprise to the proceedings, giving her a book about how great moms are, she loves that kind of sentimental stuff. Anyway, I noticed the guy who did the Blue Day book has two moms' books, and the Blue Day book is moderately cute and inventive, so I figure the mom book would be like that but specifically for my mom.

My Dad: I could do the same thing with a dad's book, only he doesn't love that sentimental stuff, so it'd pretty much be wasted on him. What he picked out for himself were these smutty vampire books he's been reading lately. I don't know for sure they're smutty, but they have a rep for being smutty so I'd rather not actually read them and find out exactly what kind of smut my father is reading and have to gouge my eyes out the next time I see him reading one of them. So I don't know if he doesn't know I know they're smutty, they actually aren't smutty, or he just doesn't think it should be a big deal for me to buy him smutty vampire novels, but it kinda makes me a little uncomfortable. For surprise giftness, though it won't be that huge of a surprise because we always are getting him the same things all the time because he doesn't ever want that much, I'm getting him some Jelly Bellys because he likes those and we sell those\ at the store.

My sister: has yet to e-mail me back. For surprise: I'm thinking something from burts bees. I think Burts Bees is overpriced crap, actually. But everyone else, including said sister, thinks Burt* hung the moon. And we sell a lot of it at the store, so.... On top of this I think I'm going to be getting a list of books from her and my brother in law to buy at my discount price and then have them repay, so it's like they get my discount for that day. I agreed to go through that rigamarole the couple times a year I get the extra discount from what I normally get because they were quite sad when they heard they couldn't use my discount when I first got the job, and I really didn't want to be going through this rigamarole all the time buying them stuff, and I thought this would be a comprimise. Really, it just makes me feel kinda crappy that I'm circumventing the rules. If it were just my sister, I don't think it'd be a big problem, she's not the type to abuse priveleges like that, but my brother in law is quite eager for the discount, and very cheap, and following a very long series of books right now, and I'm pretty sure he's going to make me buy them all for him that day.

Speaking of him: I dunno. I'll just get whatever for him he says, I guess. I am not in his head enough to know what would really be a welcome surprise.

For the 'phew: I think last time I got him some outfits and a rubber duck. The duck was an impulse buy, I had actually committed that year to not get him any toys (and I still think I kept to the spirit of that promise, as bath toys are usually not the type of toys friends and relatives over-buy and clutter up your house with). Anyway, I've not made any promises this year, and I'm pretty sure they know I'm doing all my shopping at my store, so whatever. One thing I'm getting him is one of those ginormous books that have buttons that make noise when you push them. We have a lot of those in bargain books, so they're cheap. Also, I think he'd like one, as anything that makes noises is A-Okay to him. On top of that, since it's nice and cheap I won't get offended when they throw it away cause he gets bored with it or it runs out of batteries or whatever. I decided to get the winnie the pooh one, because while he is too young to really care, my sister has always been a fan of Pooh, and as of now he has several pooh-related toys and decorations (and they bought him Tigger as a halloween costume this year), so this would fit in. Also in the bargain books: this little cardboard house with four little stuffed animals from winnie the pooh, and four little board books (he already has a ton of board books, and frankly, he doesn't yet even like having them read to him, but I thought the little stuffed animals were cute at least). On top of that, I'm getting him this little burt's bees kit that's all baby stuff. It's horrendously expensive for the tiny amount you get of each thing, and he won't care, but it will impress all the losers out there who DO like Burts Bees, and my sister can run down all the unfit mothers out there who don't use bee toothpaste on THEIR babies.

That's about it.

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* Is it me, or does Burt (at least I'm assuming it's Burt, I'm talking about the guy whose face is on all of the Burt's Bees stuff) not totally look like a homeless man. Which furthers my laughter at how ridiculous it is that so many people think Burt is awesome. Because if a guy like that came up to you on the street trying to get you to buy stuff his bees pooped out, you would be like, "No! Get away from me, crazy homeless guy!" But since they sell it at book stores, suddenly everyone loves it.