Do you know what I hate about job interviews?

Well, everything, actually.

But what I mean to complain about in particular is just how the questions completely blindside me and I have no reasonable answer. Glib is just something I'm not. As bad as I am at lying, lying and thinking on my feet at the same time = disaster. And telling the truth is equally fatal.

I didn't have a real job interview today, the manager of the place I applied at yesterday called me for a preliminary Q & A, prior to an interview, so we'll see how far I get. But she asked me:

The hours I want: full time. Only good and easy answer.

What I want to get paid: damn. I hate it when they ask that. Why can't they just have a standard pay? Basically I said I'd like above minimum wage, but that I'm not particularly picky. But I didn't expect the question, so I sounded pretty squirrely about it, no doubt.

If I'm still going to ISU: and I said I graduated. So then she asked me what I want to do.

WHOA.

What I'd said if I could've been completly truthful: hey, lady, I've spent the better part of my 23 years on this planet thinking about that question, and I still got nothin' And worse, right now I have even less of an idea than usual. I just want a job, so that while I'm pondering that question I'm not sitting alone on my parent's couch all day watching Judge Joe Brown anymore, and I can make money, and maybe move out of the house. That's what I want. And no one else will hire me. So I've lowered my standards far enough so far to apply to YOUR stupid dead-end job.

What I really said: Umm... what am I going to do? You mean, with my life?

Interviewer: Yes...

Me: Umm... well, um, I kind of don't know right now. I mean, I wanted to be a tv photographer, but I hated driving. So right now I really don't know what I want to do.

So... still truthful enough to make me look stupid, but with enough "ums" and "ahs" and "errs" to make it sound like I was trying to spin it, and wasn't even good at that.

Why do they ask me things like this? And why is this like, the first job I've applied to I've even gotten to the stage where someone asks me torturous questions?

I suck at trying to be a productive member of society. This is really, really, pathetic.