So, I applied to be a bank teller, a chiropractic assistant, and an opthmalic assistant today. I really hope I get one of the first two, because I can neither spell nor pronounce opthmalic. But I bet I would kick ass at it anyway! "look at the red dot." "what number do you see?" "does your family have a history of glaucoma?" I could do that. All that stuff is more important to know than how to pronounce your job title.

And actually, I shouldn't have applied to be a bank teller. I can't add. But still, I lied in my cover letter and said I had strong math skills. But actually, it's true. I do have great math skills. I rock so hard at geometry and algebra. I just can't add... But I totally get a calculator or something if I become a bank teller, right?

Lies are one of many tools I've started to use lately, since no one's been hiring me. Lying is much easier on paper than in person. And I can take enough time while writing to justify them to myself thinking about how much I used to rock ass at geometry that when someone asks me later I don't feel bad about it, and thus can convincingly back it up. Well, a little more convincingly. I sound shifty even when I'm telling the truth, because I'm so nervous.

I've also started to address my background in photography. I'm thinking maybe they think I won't be good at whatever their job is because photography's nothing like it. But they're totally wrong. Every ad seems to have "people skills" and "detail-oriented" as a requirement. Hell, nearly every job is like that. And so is photography. I met tons of new people every day. And there are a ton of little details to keep track of. So I wrote that into my cover letters too, and realized as I went along that I really wasn't lying about it, photography really IS a lot more similar to a customer service job than you would think.

Anyway, it sucks. My self esteem, never high, has just plummeted. It's a sea of rejection. That stupid hotel never called me back. And a ton of other places I've applied to have never even called me once. I'd really like to know what I'm doing wrong. People get jobs every day! Why the hell is it so difficult for me?