So today..... a very long day. Technically, I'm supposed to come into the station at about 2:00, but because there isn't always anything for me to do, I'm really supposed to coordinate with the crew that goes out on Sundays. So I did. And ended up going in at 9. So... my day started early. But the story they were doing was in my town (I commute to the station), so instead of making me get up the extra time to drive down there, they had me meet them there. Then, instead of driving down afterwards, I rode down in the news van, and was going to get home by riding with the other photographer, who also lives around here.

Well, since they only make me "work" 8 hours (7, actually because if I don't take my hour-long break, which I usually don't, I leave an hour early) I figured I was going to get to go home at 5 instead of 10 (or 4 instead of 9). Well... since they needed the other photographer longer, I actually went home at 7:30, which sucked, especially since I had nothing to do the extra time. And I felt bad for him, he came in even earlier than me, and ended up working 12 hours straight.

I did get to shoot one thing, but it turned out not so good. It was an easter egg hunt. I left for it as soon as I could, but was still a tiny bit late. Five minutes. At most. Unfortunately: the parking lot near which they did this is fed by a long, narrow road on which people had parked on both sides, making the road only one lane wide. And there were people leaving already when I tried to get in. So.... I was screwed. I had to park very far away, lug my stuff all the way up there, go back all the way when I realized I was stupid and had the wrong batteries (pile of live batteries, pile of dead batteries--should've kept them straight better) and go back. That, combined with the fact that the kids were like LIGHTNING at finding all the eggs: bad news. I mean, I still pulled off a vo by creeping around videotaping kids carrying baskets, and ordering them to hug the man dressed up as the easter bunny for me. Yeah.... sordid, I know.

But.... I did feel the need to explain why I didn't get the best shots, and the anchor lady was PISSED at me. She basically told me I should've took charge and made the people let me get into the parking lot. Okay, how am I supposed to do this? Even if I DID decide to be a total jerk and say, "All of you, back up. I have to get in. I'm the media." which is what she was proposing, there's NO way I can enforce this. It's not like it was one car I wanted to get out of my way. It's 5, at least. With no room to manuever even if I were good at it. I don't have a monster truck. I can't just drive over them. There's nothing I can do about this, except show up earlier than I did. Which, is not my fault. The other crew dropped me at the station and I immediately drove over there, no dawdling, no getting lost. I really see nothing else I could do.

Oh sidenote: douchebag didn't work today, but I saw him today. The man is one of those people who make balloon animals at parties and stuff on the side. And guess where he was plying this trade? Yes. The easter egg hunt! What are the freakin' odds, people? If I hadn't already known he was in the balloon business, I don't know what I would've done if I saw him there making balloon animals. As it was I almost wet myself, seeing him at random when I'm already screwing up on the job. I avoided him pretty well though, even though I had wanted to get a shot of "the balloon man" before I knew who it was. But even though I was hard up for good footage at this point, I still stayed well away. Honestly, I'm not getting close enough to shoot that man unless it's with a glock.

The drive home was kind of informative. The photog on Sundays is the one person at that place I can actually talk to. Part of it is definately because we knew each other back at TV-10, but also, I think he's new enough there that his soul hasn't died yet like everyone else's. Honestly, I felt horrible for him. Apparently he'd forgotten to write the number of the phone he took with him a couple days ago, so that when anchor lady tried to call him about a housefire or somesuch, she couldn't get ahold of him. So she was really angry and just.... laid into him. She took every instance of every little mistake he'd ever made, that any photog could make, and just listed them out, and told him that he acts unprofessional. The last bit, she elaborated on to basically mean he has a crappy personality, and that no one likes him. Which, in my opinion, is basically because he's the only person there that acts like a human being instead of a robot. So he makes jokes once in awhile, and actually tries to enjoy his job and make friends with people there? I swear--when I'm there I'm as quiet as a tomb most of the time. If they knew my real personality, they (or her--there's some evidence that points to her just being a jerk and telling him all this with no one else's opinions backing her up) would go nuts. If he's too goofy for these people, you KNOW I am. Anyway, he said none of that bothered him all that bad, he can deal with people who don't like him. What really killed him, though, was he was chief photog at TV-10. And she said, "If you were chief photog, the people there must REALLY suck." Which, he said it made him feel so bad because he didn't want to ruin it for everyone else from TV-10, and when he'd been chief photog, he'd tried his best to help everyone there learn, etc. Which, on that count I definately think it was just the anchor lady, because when I was hired as an intern, my interviewer basically told me that people from TV-10 kick ass, and have a lot of good experience. Even if the guy I was talking to was braindead, which he isn't, I don't think he could undo that reputation just by himself.

Anyway, the talk kind of made me feel better for myself. That I'm not the only one who feels incredibly uncomfortable ALL the time there. And he also gave me some hope that other stations aren't as bad as this one, he used to do some sports at another one, and they were nice there, and his brother works at a station in another town and just loves the job and his coworkers. So.... maybe if I find a job somewhere else, I'm not stuck with jerks and robots like I've been worrying I might be ever since I started the internship.

So I went to the Mennonite Relief Sale for the station. It ROCKED. If you don't know (and you probably don't), every year the Mennonites around here get together and sell pies and other food and auction off stuff and it's pretty decent. They have the best food.... strawberry pies, strawberry cheesecake, doughnuts, icecream..... and those are just like, the AWESOME things, they also have porkchop whatever and other pies and popcorn and anything else you'd want. And handmade crafts and whatever else. It's pretty cool. And the people there were SO nice to me, this guy actually got out this wheely thing to help me carry my equiptment. I do get tired of, "Oh, you're a girl, you must be having trouble carrying that," but I do secretly like it when people help me carry stuff. Because hey, I'm no amazon.

And the people I interviewed were nice, and the other random people were nice too. Though it was self serving, to get their stuff on the air. But I don't care. If people ask me too shoot something, I'll shoot something. I might not use it later, but I'll shoot it. So when, as happened today, someone's like, "You have to get this hand carved moose!".... well, I get the hand carved moose. And they gave me free chocolate on a stick. Man... you don't even need bribes. Give the photographer 75 cents worth of chocolate, and you're totally getting a good story. From me, anyway.

One of the best bits was I actually saw someone I knew from high school there. She wasn't part of my core group of friends or anything, but we were somewhat friends back in the day. She's so nice, and fun. We hadn't talked in like, five years, but we ended up laughing so hard at our jobs (lack thereof) and any number of topics. It was really nice, I was sorry I didn't have more time to socialize.

The only bad thing today was douchbag photographer was a douchebag to me again, but I'm kind of not that upset about it anymore.... I guess I'm to the point where I realize that he's a douchebag to EVERYONE, and it's not personal, so it's just like.... water off a duck's back.

So it was a fairly good day.

New search request comic, "Hibatchi Stake House"

Make that three.

I have done nothing in the last two days.

True story.

Well, work started out alright, I went and got an interview with the spazzy team I mentioned before that won sectionals. But on the way back, I started in with a migraine. This was at about 4:30 and I couldn't get home to get my drugs till 9 (later, if you count the commute). To make matters worse, I totally screwed up the other thing I did at work today.

There was this live shot at the school district meeting (they're TOTALLY hosed, like a gazillion dollars in debt and had to decide whether to lay off teachers mid schoolyear or take out a loan that will make them even further in debt), and, like always, they just shoved me out the door without really telling me what I was supposed to do there. But I figured I could ask the photog and reporter that were already there that I was supposed to help. Anyway, all of a sudden I was shooting this interview. They were like hurry hurry hurry, I even had to do it on my shoulder instead of on a tripod. But of course, we're using the ONE damn camera that has the audio settings on it completely backward from all the other cameras, so I didn't get any audio.

So that was my day.

So I skipped work today.

On Sundays (or any time I want to get in when it's not during "business hours") I have to get someone to let me in, because I don't have a keycard. Usually, ringing the doorbell works, though sometimes I have to whip out the cell phone and call people inside to make them let me in.

But when I got there today, no one was there. Absolutely no one. Which... usually I talk to the one crew that goes out on Sundays ahead of time so I know when they're going to be there, and go with them. But I forgot this time. When I don't consult with them and just show up at 2:00, the weatherman usually lets me in. But the weatherman's wife had a baby like, a week ago, so he's not been around. So I probably would've had to wait for the weekend anchor lady, who comes in maybe at 3. I should've probably been a dedicated employee and waited till 3. But I don't know for sure she comes in at 3. She pretty much runs the whole show on Sundays, she can come in whenever she wants, really. And... I knew I wasn't doing anything today, because I checked the assignments when I was in on Friday. And I don't get paid.

So I wrote a note on a very old flier from The Normal Theatre that was lying around in the back of my car, wedged it into the doorframe, and took off.

I'm very guilt ridden, too. But not enough to have stayed there the extra hour waiting.

Another new "disturbing search request comic" : "Bus Terminals and Pee

I'm too lazy to type this out again, so you're going to get a transcript of an AIM conver where I was venting:

Phoemeister: oh, and at the beginning of the day this total douchebag photogapher was a total douchebag to me
Sui: that sucks
Sui: what happened?
Phoemeister: Well, there were no cameras left for me to shoot my stuff. But the douchebag's shift was about over, so they're like, "Ask him for his camera." And I'm scared of him anyway, because everyone is always like, "Man, he's such a douchebag!" behind his back. Anyway, I go over and tell him that, and he's pissed because he's in the middle of something. And he's like, "how soon do you leave?" which, I don't know. No one ever tells me anything about what I'm about to do, they just hand me a press release and shove me out the door. But no one had given me the press release yet. And "what are you shooting?" which again, I don't know. So anyway, the assignment giver outer overhears this, and shouts "SHE HAS TO GO RIGHT NOW." So I figure he hears that. But like, I'm standing there like 10 minutes. Finally, someone else is like, "(douchbag'es name), she has to go now!" And he's like, "She didn't tell me!" and both me and the other person are like, "Assignment lady just shouted it at you!" only he's already off towards the van with the gear.
Phoemeister: there's more
Sui: hah that sucks a lot
Phoemeister: So he goes out to the van and is like, "what gear do you need?" and I don't know what to tell him. Because I don't have any gear of my own, but even if I use his camera I prefer to use someone else's gear because I can only imagine what would happen to me if something broke while I was using it and it was his stuff. So I'm kind of like... "I don't know" which makes him insanely angry, and he's like, "WHAT GEAR DO YOU HAVE?" and finally I'm like, "NOTHING! I HAVE NOTHING, OKAY. IF YOU DON"T WANT ME TO USE YOUR GEAR, I DON"T CARE I CAN BORROW SOMEONE ELSE'S"
Phoemeister: and he's like, "NO I JUST WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE."
Sui: hahah
Phoemeister: So he gets all the gear together for me, which I hate because I ended up without a lav (the little mic that you clip to people, and I like those way better than the stick mics, which is like, a regular mic) and the wireless transmitter to the mic instead of a mic cord. Which, the wireless is much more convenient. When it works. Which I'm always afraid it won't, it's more temperamental.

So anyway, when I was out his light wouldn't work, because I couldn't check it beforehand, which I'm sure I'll be blamed for. AND the wireless transmitter didn't work. For that, I ended up rummaging around in the van and finally found an extension mic cord. An extension mic cord is REALLY LONG. And this one is as tangled as hell. I swear, the people at the blooddrive actually felt so bad for me they helped me untangle it. So I'll probably get blamed for busting his transmitter too, though on that count, I think maybe I just don't know how to work the transmitter.
Phoemeister: So anyway, he almost made me cry. Just because he was in a hurry and didn't want to bother going out to switch gear. Which, if he'd just given me the damn keys to his van, he wouldn't have had to got up at all and I could've put together gear by myself.
Sui: aww : (
Phoemeister: I think he's even meaner than plastic hair.
Phoemeister: anyway, that was just getting it off my chest. The rest of my day went pretty well.
Sui: hehe well i'm glad I could listen to you vent
Sui: the stories are always fun
Phoemeister: OH
Phoemeister: here's another thing: I followed him out while he was getting stuff
Phoemeister: and I was standing between one of the vans and he wanted to get by
Phoemeister: and we did that thing where we both try to get by each other on the same side, but then change, but the other one changed sides too.... and he was like, "GET OVER THERE" and pointed somewhere
Phoemeister: he was so pissed
Phoemeister: even though that happens to like a frickin' million people all the time
Sui: hahah
Phoemeister: do I have ESP?
Sui: what a dick
Phoemeister: do I know which way he's going to move?
Phoemeister: No
Phoemeister: Where's the fire, buddy?
Sui: haha
Sui: yeah you're such a bastard

Sui: I love it when you try to scare your other friends for my amusement
Phoemeister: LOL.. you're welcome. And he'll appreciate it some day because you do*
Sui: of course

which, that comment is based on this conversation I was having and pasting over to him:

Phoe: I love ewan
Suz: i know
Phoe: I want him to have my babies
Phoe: and do the housework
Suz: you want him to do the house work, or the babies?
Phoe: both, man
Phoe: I'll get to laze around
Suz: make him do it naked, then oogle over him
Phoe: Oh, I will
Phoe: and I'll drop things and make him pick them up

*dramatic pause, and about where the major creepiness sets in*

Phoe: with his buttcheeks
Suz: ew
Suz: stuff he picks up might start to smell, unless you have him shower regularly
Phoe: note to self: Make Ewan shower regularly
Suz: with you, or you going to watch?
Suz: broadcast on net, make a fortune
Phoe: BOTH
Phoe: Ewan + Phoe shower porn is where it's at, man
Phoe: YOU'D buy it
Phoe: I know you've always wondered what Ewan looked like nekkid
Suz: I know
Suz: would it be hardcore shower porn, or soft?
Phoe: BOTH
Phoe: I'd think you'd stop asking me either or questions by now




---
* We have a theory that the other guy I was talking to is the past version of him, because they have the same name, and he used to have the same job.

Phoemeister: you know I'm a hypochondriac, right? So take this with a grain of salt:
Phoemeister: I think my appendix is going bad because I've had a pain in my side for a little while
Talia: which side?
Phoemeister: left
Talia: you know, even though you've had your gallbladder out, you can still get an infection from it? If they didn't get all the gook from it out of your system... Archie's mom had her's out years ago, about 4, and she was feeling bad so had a doc appointment and they told her that was possible
Talia: isn't that on your right?
Talia: spleen on left, I think...
Phoemeister: nah, it's not where the gallbladder used to be
Phoemeister: gallbladder is way higher up
Phoemeister: which is why they told me it was heartburn at first
Talia: low on the right could be kidneys... you could have a kidney infection... easy enough with all the medicine you take... cranberry juice helps...might be it if you've noticed you pee more or less lately
Talia: or could be a girl problem...
Phoemeister: dude
Phoemeister: you're trying to make me feel worse, aren't you?


Talia: you know, I think yo'd be an awesome camera dude on Iron Chef... you could stand around and make yick norises when they cook weird crap and bug them till they cook real food
Phoemeister: roflmao
Phoemeister: thanks
Phoemeister: I think

Zan: hey hey, haven't heard from you in a while. I'm just working lots and living.
Phoemeister: well
Phoemeister: you don't IM me either :P
Zan: I never said I did, but I can at least say I'm working 12 hour days 6 days a week. :P
Phoemeister: well
Phoemeister: way to blame the slacker
Phoemeister: I'm busy sticking it to the man, okay
Phoemeister: it's hard work
Phoemeister: it may not look like it
Phoemeister: but it takes a lot of effort to slack off this much

He can breathe in water, yeaaah
super tail can stop the danger, yeaaah

--"Secret Squirrel," Marcy Playground

Man. I've been going through my search requests, and there's nothing comicy. I mean, there's been some weird things, but nothing I feel I can make a funny comic out of.

And there's a BUTTLOAD of sick people on the internet, let me tell you. Honestly. The S & M kiddie porn hits I get outnumber all other search requests like, 3 to 1. It's creepy as hell.

I'm also #1 for heroin girl blog. Thanks, Everclear!

And I STILL get a bazillion hits for Saw Tupac at McDonalds and/or Matt's Dad's Basement. Seriously, people, if you're that desperate for the song, I'll send it to you or something. AIM = Phoemeister e-mail = phoemeister at gmail dot com. I warn you, though, the file has a couple glitches in it. But I don't know anyone with a perfect copy.

I saw tupac at mcdonald's
he got a chicken mcnugget
I saw tupac at mcdonald's
that old g first taught me to thug it

--"Saw Tupac at McDonald's" Matt's Dad's Basement

Gah.

So I went into the station today, because they were having the boy's basketball playoffs, and they asked if I'd be available to help, and I was like, "Yes."

Because I figured: they really wouldn't bother bringing me in on a day off to do nothing, right?

WRONG.

All I ended up doing was riding along with another photographer, and holding the mic while he interviewed some people, which he could very well do himself. In fact, for 1 of the 2 games, he DID do that, because it had to be in the lockeroom with various high school boys in various states of undress, so I couldn't come in.

Then, the other job I was supposed to do, was take the tape from the first game back to the station so that the anchor could work on it while the photographer covered the second game. Not only did I get lost on the way back (GAH, I'm a total moron), but it didn't even matter because the anchor didn't even bother working on it.

The only good thing about the entire night was the two basketball games actually WERE good. Both of them were very, very close. One of them was even won in that stereotypical "by one foul shot with 7 seconds left" that they like to have in movies and tv. AND to make it more mighty ducks-like, that team was the underdog. Though I didn't know that until after. I WAS rooting for them, though, because they were such spazzes, I found it endearing. They kept just like, randomly tripping and falling down. But like, not when they were in the thick of it, just running down the court. When it really mattered, they weren't spazzy. And there was this especially tall spazzy guy that reminded me of this one kid from Freaks and Geeks (the geek that was taller than the other two). And another kid on that team was the spitting image of Clay Aiken. So I felt pity love for him, too.

Sucker love is known to swing
prone to cling and waste these things
pucker up for heaven's sake
there's never been so much at stake

"Every Me & Every You," Placebo

So yesterday, I was cooped up in a van most of the day. It was pretty annoying, epseically as we were in a hurry a good portion of the time which led to whiplash. The only good part of it was one story was this parade, and the weather was really nice and we had the windows down, and I got to sit in front because the other photog was actually on a fire engine.

I did do one vo myself. It was supposed to have a soundbite too, but I didn't quite catch all of the lady I interviewed's name on tape (and couldn't really remember it myself) and we can't use soundbites if we don't identify the people. It really pissed me off, because I know better. And also it sucks extra to get nagged about it afterwards if you know better.

One amusing thing was I got on TV. When I was following around the crew, I tried my damndest to stay out of the shots, but there was one I didn't do so well, I could see myself in the background, and the 'rents were dully impressed, despite the fact that it was what I was trying NOT to do. I thought the photog who editted that shot in did it on purpose because he thought it was funny, but he actually didn't notice he'd done that.

And I did enjoy the vo I did while I was there. It was this religious thing, and they had a BADASS choir. I totally rocked out.

Today I went out to shoot a vo/sot on the state basketball playoffs. Well a team that hopes to win or whatever. That went alright. But then I basically had nothing to do the rest of the day and read like, 2 years worth of Sluggy Freelance. I have to say, I liked online comics before, but now they're becoming the only way I survive work. Thank you, brave online cartoonists.

morning gray ignites a twisted mess of foreign shapes and sounds
I wish the ceiling was the ground
I'll send you flowers made of silent tiny pieces of the sun
to help me make up for this one

--"I Hate It Too," Hum

I made an oragami penguin today.

Among other papery animals. I really have to hope that all the weird-ass immature hobbies I have come in handy in entertaining my nephew when he gets older, so I have an excuse.

the monkeys stand for honesty
giraffes are insincere
and the elephants are kindly but they're dumb
orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages
and the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Gah... first day back at work, I did nothing. I swear to you, I read the entire archive of this online comic called Wigu, which is like 3 years worth.

I DID get to go to a meth lab, though. At least that's what I'm going to tell people when I want street cred. Actually, there'd been a stabbing there earlier, which had been covered by someone else, and this one reporter was doing a follow up because he'd heard that the place it happened was possibly a meth lab. But anyway, I didn't end up shooting anything because there really wasn't anything to see there and it technically wasn't a meth lab anyway (there were meth components, but no actual meth). So I was actually stuck in the newsvan near a meth lab while the reporter went and found this out from the cops. That was really the only thing I did all day.

Sucks to be you! I know I know!
Sucks to be you! I know its true!

--"Sucks to Be You," Prozzak

Sui: still taking the horse tranquilizers?
Phoemeister: nah, i only took those like the first two days I was sick
Sui: ah okay : )
Phoemeister: the horses are glad to get them back
Phoemeister: those horses are no good junkies
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: I see them behind the convenience store
Sui: haha
Sui: huffing paint?
Phoemeister: doing their tranqs, trying to get older horses to buy them liquor
Phoemeister: that too
Sui: buncha punks
Phoemeister: yeah. They dress like punks, certainly! With the piercings and colored mohawks
Phoemeister: but I think they're just posers. They don't even know who the Ramones are
Sui: yeah.. they're such a bad influence
Sui: haha
Sui: I remember this one time I walked up to this horse and was like.. "what the hell? You pretend to be all hardcore and stuff, but I know you go home to your rich family and your big house. You don't even know what hardcore is."
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO.... and he went home and cried into his satin sheets
Sui: that's right
Sui: bunch of whiney poser horses
Sui: I flashed him my guns, and he went a'runnin
Phoemeister: "would you like a taste of my 9, seabiscuit?"
Sui: that's right.. these guns
Sui: *flex*
Sui: hahah
Phoemeister: yeah, I knew you meant arms, but I felt like bringing real firearms into this discussion
Sui: it worked well

New comic: True Hermaphrodite Stories

Phoemeister: laptop time is usually the best conversation time
Sui: haha indeed
Sui: unless I fall asleep
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: but then I get to hurl insults for you to see when you wake up, so it's not all wasted
Sui: haha that's very true
Sui: the best part of waking up, is Phoemeister insulting you while you sleep
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: isn't it though?
Sui: I can only imagine sleeping next to you.. wake up in the middle of the night to "what was that prickface?"
Suibrom: or "man you are retarded, douchebag"
Phoemeister: DOUBLE ROFLMAO.