Did I cave?

Here's an e-mail I finally wrote to my mother:

I'm sorry I didn't reply to your last e-mail. I just figured I'd end up overreacting and saying something mean, and then you'd overreact and say something mean, and then I'd be mean, and then you'd be mean, and it would never end. I figured not saying anything at all was nicer. I hear from lori, though, that you take my incommunication as hostile. So, I just thought I'd tell you why I haven't sent you anything. She said to send you anything, even if it wasn't "lovey dovey." I did send you the e-mail about where I was going this weekend, instead of just telling dad. But, it sounds like you are still even more upset (yes, this fight has really hurt my feelings too) than I am. So...I thought I'd send you this e-mail, to remind you that even though I don't agree with you, I still love you.

The sad thing is.... (and I bet this sounds like I'm a horrible daughter) I don't even know if I love her anymore. I had to say I love her, though. Or she'll never forgive me, and life will be a living hell.

My roommate says I probably do still lover her, though. She says that I have a big heart. I thought that was a really nice thing to say. I always thought I was a jerk. But hopefully, she's right.