Okay..here we go....time to earn the title "Angry White Girl."

Why? Because I am about to post the rant to end all rants.

1. The weather outside...it's frightful. (cold and rainy. And I don't have any appropriate cold weather clothes, thanks to the fact that I'm avoiding going home to avoid my mother, which is where my warm clothes are)
2. I hate my neighbors. They're loud. They're always loud. They make me want to scream.
3. I have to go to the library. Why? To avoid my neighbors. Why does this piss me off? Because it's far away, and the weather outside is frightful.
4. Before I schlep to the library in the cold and rain, I have to type an e-mail to my mom. Why? Because she thinks I'm being hostile if I don't, never mind the fact we hardly communicate at all even when we're not at odds. (if you don't get this, read the previous mom rants) Why am I dreading this?

Well.....read the reply she sent to my (nice) e-mail:

Yes, my feelings are hurt......worse than they have ever been before. I was just trying to help you resolve the noise problem so yoiu wouldn't have to
live with it until December. If you could get someone to have them turn down the base and move the stereo to the other side of the room it would
help a lot(btw, they don't know how to turn off the bass, and their stereo isn't on our side of their room anyway, and I've told her this before). Forgive me for trying to help you. I was not trying to control you......and I think it is really mean to accuse me of that. I don't know what else to say......I feel so bad.
Mom

I'm not even asking her to say sorry! Just to forgive me! (we both said some terrible things to each other) So I can get on with my life! So that my poor dad, who has to live with her can get a rest. So that I can go home and get my cold weather clothes and not freeze to death every time I go to the library because of my asshole neighbors.

But she's milking it for all the guilt that it is worth, prolonging it even more..... I want to yank my hair out and scream.

And do you know what pisses me off the most? That I have to be the big one about this. No....wait...that kind of annoys me. Having my sis and dad practically steamroll me to be nice to her, when they don't bother to do the same to her (because she'd yell at them). What pisses me the hell off is that I am being the big one, and she won't accept it and let me move the hell on in my life.

I have no idea what to say to her. I don't want to beg for her forgiveness, but yet, I want this to be over......