I was totally going to do a post on what fictional (book) characters I crushed on, (idea stolen from Dragonpaws, but I was confronted by several problems:

1) I haven't read many good fiction books in a long time. Stupid school took away my thirst for literature. Or pulp fantasy novels. Whatever.
2) I'm not really hot for most of the guys in books anyway. There are ones I totally love and would want to hang out with, but not that I'm hot for.

So I'm doing book guys I want to hang out with. Because I only get one week of school break this summer, but I still can't find anything better to do with the time.

Sam from Villains by Necessity
Okay, him I actually am hot for. He's a good bad boy! With a desperate crush on someone else! How could I not be all about him? Anyway, I think he's a deeper character than you'd find in most fantasy books, which is what I like to read. I don't know if I'd want to marry him or anything, because "Assasin" isn't exactly the job description I'd want for a husband, but I could definately carry on a torrid affair with him.

Rimmer from Red DwarfTechnically, this character is more TV than book, but I've never seen the show (due to cruel, cruel fate) and I have read the books, so he counts, dammit! I don't have a crush on him, because he is a huge loser. He lost his virginity at thirty to a woman who had a concussion at the time. But, I love him because I see so much of myself in him. I mean, not withstanding the whole being a 21 year old virgin myself, but just everyone has that feeling where they can't get anything right, sometimes, and it's refreshing to see a character that is vain, selfish, cowardly, but still loveable and makes you root for him even though he probably deserves his constant failures. I'd also like to throw in a shout out to Talkie Toaster from those books, but I don't know if he counts as a guy, being a toaster and everything.

Yossarian from Catch-22 Again, also a movie, but have never seen it. I hear he's played by Alan Arkin. Anyway, I'm reading the sequel right now and it's not that cool, but in Catch-22 this guy is cool. I'd like hanging out with him because he's fun. Even though he's in the middle of a warzone, he still manages to be goofy and mess with stupid people's heads. The war has given him a lot of emotional baggage that you can tell a lot of the humor is a defense mechanism for

Kilgore Trout from about a gazzillion Kurt Vonnegut novels Kilgore Trout is always saying to his cat, "I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't in a book right now. He himself writes short stories with wildly strange plots that only get published in crappy porno mags to use up space. One of his short stories convinces a used automobile salesman to go on a murdering rampage. His son ends up being a ghost that watches the human race evolve into platypus-like beings on a desert island after the rest of the world is taken out by a disease that causes infertility.

That's all I have for now. And I didn't put women up because I mostly read Fantasy, and most of the women in those novels are kind of stupid.

Oh, and addendum: here's how I think they'd fit into my life:

Sam - Torrid affair
Kilgore - Eccentric Uncle
Rimmer - little brother
Yossarian - neighbor/school chum