Wow... people must hate me. I always forget what it must be like to be someone who's bad at tests. I didn't study at all for my last final. What do I care. I was like, getting 110% in the class at midterm. And even though I know the class is weighted very heavily towards the back end, I figure I can't really screw it up, since I haven't really been doing anything differently. So anyway, I made the mistake of being like, "Eh, I didn't really study. And everyone was like, "WHAT!?!?"

And I was like, "Well... I'm graduating, what do I care? I'd have to really bomb the test to flunk the class." And people just looked at me like.... I was the antichrist.

And then I finished the test before anyone else. Way before anyone else. It was a two parter, and I finished the second part before all but 3 people got the second. But that doesn't make me smart. It makes me a fast test taker. I just wanted to be out of there. And I probably DID do as well as most people in there. There were things I didn't know on there, but I was pretty solid on a good deal of it.

After that, my mom and I went Christmas shopping. I've never been a big shopper, but colitis makes it impossible. Because whenever I go shopping, I get that poopy feelin', and that makes it hard to concentrate, and then after I use the toilet to make it go away, I'm not really in a good mood. So I have to really want to.

Anyway, at Best Buy I ended up more buying for me, I got a really cheap Sublime greatest hits album, which I've wanted ever since all the 90's nostalgia's been floating around and I've been hearing Santeria and Wrong Way again more. I love those songs, though I really hate their huge song, What I Got, though I don't know if it's BECAUSE it was so huge and I got tired of it, or it is just that bad, or what. Anyway, I haven't gotten into any of the other songs on the album yet, but man I love those two. I've been going around in my headphones in the house silently rocking out to them, feeling like a badass.

My parents are used to this strange behavior by now. I also love reading all this BS in the album liner about how the songwriter's this sensitive street poet while listening to Santeria, which is basically all about how he's going to bust a cap in Sancho's punk ass. Maybe it comes out in the other songs.

At the Bath and Body shop, I got a rubber duck for my nephew, even though I told my sister I wouldn't get him any toys this christmas because I knew every other relative would, and at this point he enjoys the box it came in about as much, and I knew she'd be up to her ass in toys he'd never have enough time to play with all of, but I saw it when I was looking for something else, and I had to get it. I think I'm like my mom to some extent, who keeps picking up stuff for him, because she "has" to. I understand this pull now. Anyway, the rubber duck is a classic, and I saw it and I remembered the one I had when I was little, and Ernie from Sesame Street's song about it and got all misty, and had to get it for the kid so I could live vicariously. I also got him a little outfit, which is what I meant to get him to begin with. It's got a penguin (anyone who knows me knows I love them, I'm also doing my damndest to project my personality onto the kid), a polar bear, and we can't decide whether it's an arctic wolf or a lion. It looks more like a lion, but we think a wolf would make more sense, considering the company.

Then we got some random stuff for my dad, he's hard to shop for. He wants like... soap. And gift cards from walmart for books. And I told mom that walmart has crappy selection, especially for sci fi, which is what he reads. Why doesn't he want one from Barnes & Noble? And she's like, he thinks it's too expensive. And I'm like, what the hell does he care? It's a gift card! And she says he still cares. So, that's the trouble with buying things for dad, even when it's a gift he wants it to be cheap. And when we try anything inventive, he never uses it. I got him the Indiana Jones trilogy last year, he didn't use it. I got him Blood Sweat and Tears and Steppenwolf last year, he didn't use it. So now I'm getting him soap. Or a Walmart gift card. As long as he's happy being cheap, I guess.

Tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him he best go run and hide
daddy’s got a new forty five
and I won’t think twice to stick that barrel straight down sancho’s throat
believe me when I say that I got something for his punk ass!

--"Santeria," Sublime