Aaaarg! I was at the TV station observing tonight, and some people didn't show up, so I ended up on the Teleprompter (feeds the people onscreen their lines).

it is HARD. There are apparently 2 ways to work it: one is using the keys on the keyboard, and the other is one of those upside down mouse things, where you move the ball in different dirrections. I started out using the keyboard, and kept having a few moderate errors. I felt so stupid. Then this one guy told me to use the ball. I took his word because he was all old and authoritarian, but the truth is he was WRONG. Not only did I make about the same errors as before, because of myself, but I started making big mistakes because the ball would just, decide not to work all of a sudden. Real fun.

Then, my left contact just.... fell out. For NO reason. I blink, contact comes out. And since I'm in the middle of something, I can't exactly put it back in. So I'm sitting there with one contact trying to do a job I was botching up when I could see what I was doing.

but it all turned out alright.

Except I am still sans one contact.* I forgot to bring any extras, mine are all at home, as are my glasses. (Yes, I know I'm stupid) I called up the 'rents to bring me some, but they're not there. So I have to wait until they get home, then until they want to do it. Yeah.

____
* I have typed out this whole thing with one eye open. I do not relish the prospect of trying to duplicate that trick with C++, yet, I must, if I want to get the latest prog done in time

... and then I turned up late to Hardware and Software concepts. Which of course he knows its me, being one of the only two girls in class. I got back the quiz we'd taken, with a whopping 3 out of 13 points. Because I can't add for crap and they won't let us use a calculator, basically. And all coursework in the class so far involves calculatorless adding. So I'm basically going to do crappy.

Then of course, i had to sit through the boring, boring class. I always want to jump up and tear my hair and scream. I want to ask them what the point of this is. Or tell the people in the class to free themselves. Or various profanities. Anything.

Near the end of class I just got up and left because I couldn't stand it anymore. I just hate that stupid, crappy, pointless class so much that I couldn't stand there another minute. Again, not very low profile.

Not a good idea, not a good day.

And my damn archives won't show up!

I miss so much that requires attention

Ugh... this has not been a good day for me. First of all, I forgot to properly set my alarm last night, so I woke up today an hour late. So I showed up to class way late, like the ass that I am. Then we were filming our PSA's, and we had to do ours like 8 times because I kept messing up. I really can't act, even for short things like that, I always forget what I'm supposed to be doing because I'm concentrating so hard on something else I'm supposed to be doing.

Then we started working with the radio equiptment in the radio studio--and I'm really bad at it.

Anyway, I also have to wonder if I'm on drugs without knowing it. I got up to pee last night at like, 2 in the morning, and when I tried to walk to the toilet stalls I veered around like a drunk. And I did it again this morning, when I was rushing to get to class. I would say it's just because I was sleepy, but I don't remember this ever really happening before. Oh well.

And I'm wearing my Guinness shirt from Ireland, and its about the tightest shirt I own, and I feel so fat and fat-rolly in it. It's gross.

So that's my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...... so far. It's only 1:00.

Man... usually I'm lazy-lazy. Tonight I'm "invent elaborate reasons not to do the work involving more work than the actual work would"-lazy.

Anyway, I spent forever on this character profile for Telgard (really awesome RPG board). They better accept me. I'm a theiving goblin! (I swear all RP types I take date back to how awesome I thought playing the thief in Quest for Glory was) :P

And now: Pointless quizzes :P


What kind of hero are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am the biggest dork EVER.

Why? Because I'm about to relate to you jokes I found in my grammar textbook for Media Writing. (Yeess! I'm motivated! I'm doing homework! Go me! Though I still feel unmotivated about El Classo Diablo)

My grammar book (The Elements of Style, Strunk & White) is so dry. It tells you where to put commas and not to use passive voice, and all the other boring stuff grammar books tell you to do. This is why the jokes are so funny to me, I'm just not expecting someone to be hiding jokes in there, especially since I didn't find them until about halfway through the book.

Anyway: the section I'm on gives these commonly misused phrases, and the phrases you should be using instead, and then gives examples. I come to:

As good or better than. Expressions of this type should be corrected by rearranging the sentences. Ex. "My opinion is as good or better than his" should be "My opinion is as good as his, if not better."

then, several phrases on:

As yet. Yet nearly always is as good, if not better.

Okay, I know I'm a dork, but I found that hilarious. I thought it was an isolated incident, but later:

Care less The dismissive "I couldn't care less" is often used with the shortened "not" mistakenly (and mysteriously) omitted: "I could care less." The error destroys the meaning of the sentence and is careless indeed.

several examples later:

Disinterested Means "impartial." Do not confuse it with uninterested, which means "not interested in." Ex:

Let a disinterested person judge our dispute. (an impartial person)

This man is obviously uninterested in our dispute. (couldn't care less)

But, on the other hand: I think this guy is overly (ha ha, overly's one of the no-no words :P) bitter about people misusing English. He warns you to use "inflammable" because "flammable is for children and illiterates." And he says that "split infinitives do have precedence dating into the 14th century, but they still aren't legitimate." My favorite example of his bitterness, however is:

Nauseous. Nauseated. The first means "sickening to contemplate"; the second means "sick at the stomach." Do not, therefor, say, "I feel nauseous," unless you are sure you have that effect on others.

Well, I've probably screwed myself over yet again. I'm not going to do the program due tomorrow at all. Which, I already lost 20 points earlier for not getting my classes in on tuesday. So I'm pretty much going to have to work my ass off for the rest of the semester just to pull a B. Which, the class is a lot of work anyway.

I'm also annoyed more than ever at not having friends. When I went to the lab to work, everyone was working together on programs, looking at each other's errors, while I stare at mine like a dope for an hour. I tried to interject myself into one conversation, but it didn't work very well. So basically I was in a lab full of distracting conversations, and I knew I couldn't get it done in time anyway, so I just..... gave up.

I might've made a friend in Hardware and Software Concepts, though. I ended up, accidently actually, sitting next to the only other girl this time. We bonded about being girls, how awful our governor is, how crappy ISU is (she LOVED the commodore story :P), and how crappy the class is. The most hilarious part was that the prof was handing out papers later and like, couldn't find me. Only 2 girls in class. Sitting next to each other. And he's looking at the guys in the opposite corner of the room, as if I'm there. I was like, "Hey! I'm over here in the girl-ghetto!" which elicited a laugh from my new aquaintance.

it's weird...every little interchange I have with someone new, I blog. I'm always convinced it's like, the beginning of a new friendship, and then I never talk to them again. I wonder if any of these people have any inkling whatsoever a brief conversation they had with me is immortalized in print. Probably not.

When I was younger and thought of myself, I never dreamed I'd become like this

Man, I'm so depressed lately. And I'm not even sure what to do about it. I mean yesterday--I was programming. And....I just hate it so much. I had to stop. I e-mailed a couple people as a break. But then I just left the lab, I couldn't make myself stay and do it. Which, pretty well screws me, the program is due tomorrow and I'm way behind. And I've been up today for a couple hours, and I still can't make myself go back to it.

Then, on the way home from the lab, I went to talk to some people at the campus radio station about a job. Not a paying job, I don't think they pay anyone. I missed the "informational meeting" about it for this semester, because it was at the same time as my Hardware and Software Concepts class. What they told me, basically, is that if I had come to them right after the informational meeting, maybe I could get an interview, but as it is...I probably couldn't get a job. Which... it shouldn't have upset me that much. I mean, I could've tried to get into the radio station way before this, and they're right about me waiting a little too long after the meeting to actually come in and talk to someone. I really am reluctant to commit myself to anything. But at the same time, I feel like an ass, because if I don't get a job at the station, I'm not going to have any experience at all in radio when I graduate, which is something that is really stupid to do, considering how scarce radio jobs are.

Lately I've been thinking of maybe switching my sights onto TV production instead of radio. It's a bad job market too, but not quiiite as crappy. So I was thinking of joining the TV Student Workshop. But EVERY meeting for that one meets at the same damn time as Hardware and Software Concepts. To add insult to injury, I DESPISE that class. If I were missing these opportunities because of a class I liked, it would be annoying, but I just want to SCREAM, because I missed TV Workshop and the Radio meeting because of fucking Hardware and Software Concepts. It is the most useless, stupid class ever. And it's taught by a guy who could easily make ISU's top five most idiotic profs. And that's SAYING something. There are a LOT of morons teaching at ISU, I know because I've had most of them.

Anyway.... when I found out I couldn't get a job at the radio... I started crying, and I couldn't stop. I walked home, sobbing. When I got in my room, I cried and cried. I just kept thinking about how I hate programming, and I hate Hardware and Software Concepts, and how I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't have any friends, and how I'm sick of the food they serve at the dining center, and how I spend all day just watching TV or doing something equally useless, I can't even make myself read my textbooks, and how I hate going out in the cold to all my classes.... Every trivial little thing.

I thought of calling up my mom. I complain about her a lot, but she's always really nice to me and listens when I feel bad. But I never did. Because I didn't just want to whine about my crappy life, I somehow wanted her to be like, "you should quit college like you want to!" or even, "Maybe we should talk to a therapist about the problems you've been having. You seem pretty depressed lately, and I think you need some help." I knew I'd just whine and she'd sympathize, and it'd be over, and everything would be just as crappy as before I called.

So I cried, and ate, and watched TV. I went to observe at the ISU TV station. I talked to Wanda about boys and to Talia about cheese. And it's the next day, and I can't make myself program.

What Happens When an ACS Nerd Gets Separated From The Herd

Setting: ISU TV studio

Guy My Age: I think someone should donate a million dollars to update this place
Old Guy: That would be a drop in the bucket
GMA: Really?
OG: Yeah. It would be like 5 million, at least. Each one of these cameras is about $5,000. And we're pretty far behind. One of the computers back there is a Commodore.
Me: Oh my gosh! There's a commodore back there?
*all the people around my age look at me like, huh?*
Me: Uh...sorry. I'm an ACS minor. Commodores are really old. Yep.
*awkward silence*

I think the old guy and I bonded, though :P

I hate college. HATE it. The people who say its the best years of your life are smoking crack. Probably literally, with all the druggies on campus. I just want to get out of here and get a job already. I'm so sick of having to pretend I enjoy paying thousands of dollars to sit in a classroom and have some ass tell me what an abacus is and explain how to convert numbers from base 2 to base 8 to base 5, and then convert the word "cat" into binary (converting c, a, and t into ASCII, and then converting the ASCII value into binary). I swear, at the end of class he all looked at me and asked some question about whether or not I was having fun. I glared at him. I know it's not polite to glare at a professor who's looking right at you, but I did it anyway. I hate him that much. But he just kept looking at me, like he didn't get that the Look Of Death(TM) means, "No. I do not have fun in this class." So eventually I just gave the dude a thumbs up. He could sort of tell it was sarcastic, but man do things go over that guy's head. And he's always making these dumb jokes about how me and this other girl are the only two females in class. And he tells ALL the dumb programming jokes. If I have another professor tell me that "half a byte is a nibble!" or that "the first computer bug was a REAL bug--a moth that flew into the machine and caused some things to short out!" I will commit suicide. Or homicide. Maybe both. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. And he's not even a mean guy. I just hate him.

Speaking of mean, my prof for 169 (La Clase de Diablo) IS mean. Today she told us that we couldn't have any variable names that are 2 or more words long without capitalizing the first letter of each word or putting an underscore in between the two words. Well, the program we are doing now was assigned on the very first day, way before she told us that. And its due friday, so we all (hopefully) have a considerable amount done. Anyhow, I raised my hand and asked her if this one program could be an exception, because she hadn't told us until now.

She was SUCH a jerk about it. Not only did she say no, she was mean about it. She was like, "No! You should've learned how to do proper variable names in 168. Variable names without underscores or caps are UNACCEPTABLE, and you know it!"

You bastard! If I knew it, why would I have fucked around with the wrong variable names for this huge program, thus causing me an IMMENSE amount of more work and time going back to change them? If we were supposed to learn it in 168 why did you just TELL US? If we knew, why would you even bring it up at all? And they didn't tell us in 168. All my programs had the "wrong" variable names for the entire semester, and I was neither told about nor graded off for them. You suck!

But of course I didn't say anything. I didn't even argue that they hadn't told us in 168 because I knew she wouldn't believe me, and it wouldn't stay a discussion, we would've had a knock down drag out grudge match then and there. Which would be entertaining, yes, but good for helping me graduate from this rat-hole? no.

I just want to get out. I squirm and sulk through even the "good" classes. I hate it here.

I'm a little depressed right now, so there will be a rant later. But first, I'd like to mention the AWESOME thing that has happened so far today.

We have to come up with fake public service announcements in my TV production class, and my group--we're doing Mullet Awareness, bay-bee!

It has to be really short, but here's the basic script:

Me and Guy1 are talking.
Me: Wow, that's a really nice haircut.
Guy1: Yeah...it iiis pretty sweet.
Guy2: *walks up, sporting a fiiiine mullet*

Guy1: Nice hair! Billy Ray Cyrus called! He wants his boyfriend back!
Me: Uh, yeah! The uh...crappy hair store called, and they want their...uh...crappy hair back!
Me & Guy1: *high five*
Guy2: *hangs head in shame*

cut to another screen with just guy2, sans mullet:
Guy2: Just because someone has a mullet, doesn't mean they aren't a person too. Don't mullet-hate.
And then we're going to work it so a mullet sort of appears on his head and he gives a cheesy grin and thumbs up.

I'd like to take partial credit for the idea to use mullets, too. Because they started talking about 80's psa's, and how corny they were (only YOU can prevent forest fires!). And then they just started talking about how corny everything about the 80's were. And then mullets were one thing mentioned. And I was like, "We should do an anti-mullet comercial!" but then we ended up going pro-mullet. Because who doesn't love a mullet?

What I'm depressed about is that after we came up with the script, and just started talking regularly, I felt like a real loser. They kept talking about drugs, movies I'd never seen, and bands I'd never heard of. I am SO tired of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I have no problems with people drinking or whatever, but I get tired of that being all they can talk about. It isolates me from every group of people I end up in. It makes it even harder than it is anyway to make friends. And I'm also tired of no one liking anything I do. Thanks to reading people's online journals, I know that there's a bazillion college students out there that like enough of the same things as me that I would really feel comfortable in a conversation with them. But irl, I only ever meet people who like getting wasted and watching movies with bathroom humor. I'm not one of those people who're like, "Eeeew. Bathroom humor! Gross!" but I really don't find it funny, either. ...so in sum, I hate feeling left out.

Also, another annoying thing: everyone seems to know what the hell they're doing (radio lab, acs lab, TV lab), but I've never had a single class before that actually teaches any of the stuff that other people seem to take knowing for granted. Why am I so far behind? And also: how come so many people have had jobs that are actually applicable to what they want to do later on, and I can't even fucking get a job at Wal-mart?

New comix. And my head huuurts. The number one reason to suspect God doesn't exist: Headaches. Or Colitis. Depending on which one's bothering me the most when I think about it.

Pablo: I'm your groupie!
me: *gasp* I have a groupie!?!? This is the happiest day of my life!
Pablo: yes, you do.
Me: woo! If we ever meet in real life, I'll have to sign your boobs :P
Pablo: I would be honoured! And I'd never wash my boobs again!!
Me: LOL..... Good to know :P
Pablo: well okay, maybe I'd wash them again... but I could get your autograph tatood onto my boobs.
Me: ......much less disturbing :P
Pablo: true
Me: though the fact that you admit to having boobs is somewhat disturbing :P
Pablo: hey... you started it!
Me: You started it by saying you're my groupie!
Pablo: hahah... oh yeah.

Well, I finally got the noise-cancelling headphones I keep whining about. Actually, I'm not sure they are. Nowhere on the package do they say they are noise canceling, yet they're very big, and rather expensive to not be cancelling sound. I looked and looked for ones that actually did say noise canceling, but the only ones that did were fifty dollars, rather than the approx. twenty dollars of the many other models comparable to the ones I bought. So I'm going to return them if they don't work properly. I am WAY too cheap to be upping the bill by $30 if I don't have to.

I also got the CD-R's I need for the class. I'm kind of annoyed, I only need 3, but they come in packs of 10. Buying seven more than I necessarily have to isn't enough more expensive that I really need to whine about it, but I do still think it's an awful waste. What am I going to do with the other 7 disks? And it's doubly annoying in that the TA offered to sort of pool everything together for us, but half the class was like, "I have blank CD's already." Which pisses me off because 1) it screws a good deal for me and 2) I hate people who pirate music*, and the only reason you're likely to have extra blank CD's is if you pirate music.**

Also, while I was there (Best Buy) I ended up getting a CD. I got 9 for Christmas, so I really don't need any....but there was a sale. I think one of the primary reasons I hate people who pirate music is because I'm Best Buy's Bitch. They OWN me. All the money I have that doesn't go to ISU in some form ends up in the claws of Best Buy. And it's my fault, for not being able to resist a sale. I really didn't want Good Charlotte's old album until it was reduced to 8 bucks. But when they did that, I was like, "They'll never have it that low again! "Little Things" was a good song! It's worth it!" Not only am I best buy's bitch, I'm the Queen of Rationalization. Oi.
_______
* Not people who D/L a couple songs from an artist and keep them on their computer, people who rip off entire CD's and burn them onto another CD. Also, I less hate the people who are like "I know it's wrong, but I do it anyway" than the people who don't believe me that it's wrong, or make dumb excuses for themselves like, "I can't afford them." Well, I can't afford a Ferrari, but I'm not going to go and steal one, moron!

** If you're a college student who isn't an ACS major or anything, like all of these people are. I know one Greyduck who would've responded to this with "I use them like floppy/zip disks to transfer large quantitys of information at a time, not to pirate music." If I didn't add this note :P

Why My Dad Is The Awesomest

My dad is a 60-some year old white guy, but he's more with it than anyone I know! He totally told me the funniest story EVER yesterday:

He works in investments, with a couple other old guys like himself, and some younger people. One day they were in a meeting:

Young Guy: I think I'm going to sit over there with the girls
Dad: Why don't you sit with Phil (another old white guy)? He's pretty fly for a white guy!

Of course, Phil didn't really get it, but all the younger people thought it was hilarious! I'm so proud of my Dad, he's got his finger on the pulse of pop culture! And it's also nice to know that the 'rents don't tune out everything I talk about.

In other news: 169, el classo diablo, is hard. And I can't find proper headphones for Radio Production. Otherwise: Long weekend is sweeeet.

Which Kevin Smith Movie Are You? by jennablue!

C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with "OOP, there it is!"
C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with class
C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with private members and public objects
C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with their friends, in private

The sad thing is that I find the above hilarious

Well... I was afraid I had really lost my nerdiness the other night. But today I regained it. In Media Writing today, the prof was using The Two Towers as an example to illustrate the point he was making. He kept not knowing people's names, and I was the only one in class who's like, "It's Samwise Ganji(sp?), of course!" or, "Oh, you mean Faramir." (I swear it's my sister's fault, she all taught them to me this one day after taunting Dad and me for not knowing all the character names) Then he stopped for a second and was like, "You guys have all seen The Two Towers, right?" and half of the class or less had. And he tried to use the original Star Wars, but a good amount of people hadn't seen that either. And Terminator was cut down as well. But they were all eager to talk about Joe Millionaire (bleh). I got much glee bringing up The Matrix later in the class, though. And the Matrix totally illustrated the point we were talking about, too (about a lot of films having a plot twist near the beginning).

So, while I am insecure as a computer nerd right now, I'm still firmly a fantasy/sci-fi geek.

You are Spaceman Spiff! Zounds! You are the intrepid Spaceman Spiff, the engaging explorer ensconsed in an unending universe of exotic and evil extraterrestrials! You're brave, but you should give that dictionary a rest. Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

I decided to take out some of my anger at school on the floor's bathroom stall by posting up:

me: DAAAAAAMn it. I typed out this whole huge blog entry and now it won't publish
kin: D'oh. That sucks. So is it all gone now?
me: no, I managed to hit back and save it
kin: Yay! I hate it when you press back and then it's all blank, and you like, "NOoooooooooooooo!!!" =P
me: It's about how much I hate hardware and software concepts, especially the prof, and how the guys in the class make me un-nerdy
me: look un-nerdy, I mean
kin: lol...They're so nerdy they suck the nerdiness out of you and feed upon it for their own use. =P



Kin: There's this site called Sodaplay. You can make these little "machines" using muscles and masses and such, it's really cool. And anyway, it has this new feature where there's sound to go along with the movements and stuff, and I made one that just makes a really horrendous noise.
me: *cough* Nerd *cough* :P
kin: And proud of it. =P
kin: But shoot me if I'm ever really really excited about the new Microsoft Cattle or whatever. =P
me: ROFLMAO!! Will do.