I am the biggest dork EVER.

Why? Because I'm about to relate to you jokes I found in my grammar textbook for Media Writing. (Yeess! I'm motivated! I'm doing homework! Go me! Though I still feel unmotivated about El Classo Diablo)

My grammar book (The Elements of Style, Strunk & White) is so dry. It tells you where to put commas and not to use passive voice, and all the other boring stuff grammar books tell you to do. This is why the jokes are so funny to me, I'm just not expecting someone to be hiding jokes in there, especially since I didn't find them until about halfway through the book.

Anyway: the section I'm on gives these commonly misused phrases, and the phrases you should be using instead, and then gives examples. I come to:

As good or better than. Expressions of this type should be corrected by rearranging the sentences. Ex. "My opinion is as good or better than his" should be "My opinion is as good as his, if not better."

then, several phrases on:

As yet. Yet nearly always is as good, if not better.

Okay, I know I'm a dork, but I found that hilarious. I thought it was an isolated incident, but later:

Care less The dismissive "I couldn't care less" is often used with the shortened "not" mistakenly (and mysteriously) omitted: "I could care less." The error destroys the meaning of the sentence and is careless indeed.

several examples later:

Disinterested Means "impartial." Do not confuse it with uninterested, which means "not interested in." Ex:

Let a disinterested person judge our dispute. (an impartial person)

This man is obviously uninterested in our dispute. (couldn't care less)

But, on the other hand: I think this guy is overly (ha ha, overly's one of the no-no words :P) bitter about people misusing English. He warns you to use "inflammable" because "flammable is for children and illiterates." And he says that "split infinitives do have precedence dating into the 14th century, but they still aren't legitimate." My favorite example of his bitterness, however is:

Nauseous. Nauseated. The first means "sickening to contemplate"; the second means "sick at the stomach." Do not, therefor, say, "I feel nauseous," unless you are sure you have that effect on others.