I had some really weird dreams last night. I didn't used to dream all that much (remembering it, anyway) but i think I've become a lighter sleeper or something, so I'm getting them all the time. + whenever I have dreams, they're always weird.

The first one was I was in preschool. And we had show and tell. And this one girl had some bottle of something that made you twice as pretty, no matter what. I heckled her. I said it'd need to make me 3X as pretty to be interesting. I pointed to this one pimple I had on my forehead (which I really do have one there right now). And I was like, "look at this pimple! it makes me look like one of those hindu women!" Not that I have anything against hindu women--they purposely put a red dot up there. When it's a pimple, it's just sad. And then, I said if it removed pimples, it'd destroy the entire economy, because there's so much makeup and things people buy to get rid of pimples. And I SWEAR this was a preschool setting.

Then, I had a dream where I went back to high school to visit, and i saw this one girl who was in my french class, this one guy that was in my drama class, and this one guy that was in Scholastic Bowl with me. And we had lunch and talked, and I told them about the preschool dream, and they laughed.

Aren't those both pretty eerie?

Anyhoo.....I'm so worried right now. Why?

I've wanted to go to Europe REALLY badly for a long time. Especially England. Especially lately, because I have a friend there I want to see so badly. I figure my only chance is to study abroad--I'm not going to have enough money to just go there for a long time. And for awhile, I've sort of talked about it, but figured my chance for that has flown--I've diddled around long enough trying to decide a major, that there are acadmic complications in going to another university for a year or semester.

But today, I saw an advert: 3 weeks during the summer. And, it's almost more of a sight-seeing tour, so it wouldn't be for some major I'm not in. The way it works, it would probably not help me graduate any sooner (though I wish I could), but it really wouldn't be going to waste per say. Anyway, I'd get to see most of england, not just london or something. The downside is I probably wouldn't get to see my friend as much as I would if I were studying during the semester, but I WOULD get to see her some, and I would get to see one of the best countries on the face of this planet. And, I think if I save my ass off until the summer, I'll have just enough to do it on my own money. So this is almost perfect for me.

So why'm I so nervous?

My mom. She's thwarted my every attempt to go anywhere my whole life. I'm so incrediblally scared she'll tell me I can't go that I'm almost ready to wet myself. Okay, that's an exageration...... but I am scared to ask her.

I'm thinking of talking to dad first, so that he can sort of take my side.

Wish me luck.