I couldn't leave well enough alone, so I headscrewed "Chadd" again today. I have to say, it doesn't work as well a second time. Maybe he's heard of the old adage, "Headscrew me once on AIM, shame on you. Headscrew me on AIM twice, shame on me." Oh well, still some fun. And props to my best bug for coming up with the cheesy SN I used for this.

DontBRash: Hey, when you put in your order, you forgot to tell me how many tubes you wanted. Most people only need one of our economy size tubes, but it sounds like your problem has been going on for some time....

Chadd: ?

DontBRash: The rash ointment you ordered....

Chadd: Umm...what?

DontBRash: You called up my company, and ordered some of our X-Tra Tuff(TM) rash ointment

Chadd: Uhh, who are you? Cause that is an absolute lie

DontBRash: My name's Jack. From Boroleum. [Rash Ointment Website I found. Piggle Sniff thinks its sad I actually "researched"] You called and ordered some rash ointment. You said you're online all the time, so if we needed to call you, to just IM you instead. You forgot to tell us how much of our ointment you need.

Chadd: Ok this is starting to piss me off, who the fuck are you people constantly bugging me about threesomes and rashes? I haven't talked to any fucking person online

DontBRash: Well, you specified economy size. But not how many tubes

Chadd: I'm about to specify yours and your friends harassment to the police

DontBRash: ??? What are you trying to pull, Mister. I'm from a legitimate, rash-ointment selling company. I love my job. That's why I have this screen name. I'd have Boroleum, but it's already taken
DontBRash: http://www.boroleum.com/ordering.htm

Here's our website
DontBRash: You're going to report me to the police? For following up on a rash-ointment order?

Chadd: No, because your buddies refuse to stop harassing me

DontBRash: I should report YOU to the police for harrassing ME, buddy
DontBRash: What buddies?

Chadd: lol leave me the hell alone

DontBRash: I think I will! I hope that rash turns into a flesh eating virus, and you die. Good bye, and never call Boroleum again! From now on, you're on the rash ointment blacklist! Heaven help you if you ever get a rash, because you'll never be able to buy ointment in this town again!