Do you know what's kind of weird? Lately I've been getting all of these un-solicited celebrity email newsletters. Not even, multiple celebrity newsletters. Newsletters that are all about one person. And not even good celebrities. I swear, every week I get an e-mail newsletter on Kelly Osbourne. No offense to Osbourne fans, but who the hell gives a damn about Kelly Osbourne? Am I getting a Michael Bolton newsletter next? A Pauly Shore newsletter? Carrot top? Where does the maddness stop? And even if you were a fan of her, wouldn't you know what she's up to, seeing as how she's on a reality show in which you see what she's up to all the time? And the crowning weirdness, whatever loser sends out the newsletter makes their from: "Kelly Osbourne." So the first time I got it, I was like, "I have e-mail from Kelly Osbourne?" I mean, I didn't actually think Kelly Osbourne e-mailed me, but its still unnerving.

Oh, and you're probably thinking, "Why is she whining about it, when she could just unsubscribe?" but the truth is I'm secretly afraid that it's less Kelly Osbourne "news," and more Kelly Osbourne "porn" in there. And if I caught even a glimpse of that in the course of opening to unsubscribe, I honestly would have to claw my eyes out. So whining's kind of easier than that.

I have a lot of time to think about these things.