Today sucked. Well... I'll put the good bit before the bad bit.

I DID do a story in which NOTHING got screwed up for once. I did it all perfectly. It was some good friday thing at a church. And I rocked it like a hurricane!

Okay, now for the bad part of the day. I thought I would be able to avoid DB, because some people were gone, so I was able to use their gear instead of having to go to DB to get his and let him tell me I'm a horrible person all the while. Unfortunately... DB actually sought me out on his own time to verbally abuse me.

First off, he was pissed that I left that styrofoam cup and a page of directions I'd written down in his van. He actually SAVED them (I left them there on monday) to give them to me today to make me throw them away. I actually wasn't that upset, though. It was like, whatever, dude. I'm sitting right next to a wastebasket. This isn't really putting me out, while I'm sure saving this stuff four days probably put you to some extra effort. But I mean, it IS stupid. I use his van all the time and this is the ONE time I left anything. And it wasn't like, disgusting food that could go bad or smell everything up or anything. It was a piece of paper and a styrofoam cup. Does he really think I meant to leave this stuff there any more than he meant to leave his keys in the van on Monday? Newsflash, DB: SOMETIMES PEOPLE FORGET THINGS.

Secondly he, like, showed me how to use the rain gear. Which, I was actually grateful for. But he like... did it in a way that was very, "Oh, I can't believe you don't know this already, you should've asked someone by now." But again, I didn't really get that angry.

I didn't even get upset when he yelled at me for not getting gas in the van (the "rule" is leave it at least 1/4 full, I left his a hair below that because I didn't consider it that low, and I hate going out for gas because I have to stand outside and ring the doorbell like an idiot in the freezing cold until someone lets me in every time I go out for anything because I don't have a key).

Here is what made me cry: the photogs have these cubbys that aren't that big. And he had this GIANT bag in there for some reason. So on monday when I put the camera back, it was a rather tight fit. But I didn't know what else to do. He's so fucking touchy about his stuff, I know he would've yelled at me if I moved the bag. And I didn't like, just shove it in there, I did do it carefully. I'd actually forgotten about it until he brought it up again.

He chewed my head off about this, how I could've broken the camera, and how cameras are delicate and you can't treat them like that, and he's appalled that I just shoved it in there, I should've moved the bag, yadda yadda ya. He's FURIOUS. He got another camera and videotaped how his camera was jammed in there the next day, and says he's going to show it to my supervisor, and the union rep, and maybe a few other people.

Okay. I've washed my hands of ever making a favorable impression on this guy. But now he's trying to make me look bad in front of other people? This just sucks. I'd really like to know why he hates me this much. I mean... he's a jerk to everyone. But he like.... is going out of his way to be mean to me lately. Come on, saving a cup four days to make me throw it away? Videotaping how I left his camera as proof, when I wouldn't have lied about it anyway?

I just really hope plastic hair doesn't hear about this, because he's a piece of work himself, and I already had that incident around him where this one bit of plastic fell off the camera, and he didn't like that I said it "fell off" he was like, "it broke off! You broke it off! You broke the camera! Those cameras are worth more than you are! You should be more careful!" when really, it DID fall off. Maybe I somehow broke it earlier and it didn't fall off till later, but it really DID fall off from a jolt that couldn't break anything off. And like, the engineer we called to fix it didn't even care. It took him like two seconds to superglue it back together. So now I have the two biggest jerks at the station thinking I just swing the cameras around my head and drop them all over and shove them places and don't even care, and I really don't need them blabbing it around to everyone. Though they probably will. The station's horrible that way, someone's ALWAYS badmouthing someone else behind his/her back and making him/her sound utterly incompetant.

The work environment here is breaking my will to live. I really don't know what I should do. Because I've heard this station IS the worst. So maybe once the internship is over, I can get a job somewhere else and the people won't be jerks. But... I don't know if I can count on that. Maybe all stations ARE like this. I wanted to talk to my news director from TV-10 on Wednesday to see what she says, but she was busy, so I'm going to try again this Tuesday when she says she's less busy. I am just really freaking out about this right now, it seems like every day just gets worse.