Gah. I hate being so picky about my food. But.... I am. And I'm tired of people giving me crap about it.

First off: my intestinal problems AREN'T because of my eating habits! I ate exactly like this for 18 years and was regular as a clock and now I have colitis and I feel terrible no matter what I eat.

Anyway, this is because a couple of the managers took some of us out for lunch to this chinese buffet. I hate chinese buffets. The only chinese food I'll eat is one dish at one restaurant. And it's not been sitting in a buffet under a hot lamp for an hour and a half.

And I didn't want to be a bastard about free lunch, but there was someone else who wasn't too keen on chinese, and I thought if we both said that, then maybe they'd consider somewhere else and it wouldn't look like me just being a jerk and making waves, but then it turns out that the chinese buffet had lots of other random crap so she went along and then I'd look like a jerk to be all, "I don't care if they have regular food, I'm not eating there!" But I HAD been to the place before, and I know for a fact that all the food that isn't actually chinese looks disgusting as hell and like it's been there for a long period of time.

So what I ended up doing is filling up on pineapple from the fruit part of the buffet. The thing about fruit (and vegetables, if I actually liked them in the first place and ate them) is that even if it has been sitting around and looks gross, you don't feel like you're taking your life into your hands when you eat it the way you do meat in similar conditions. And the pineapple is really good there, actually, it's nice and fresh.

I ended up with a lot of pineapple. Because it's not very filling. You have to eat a ton to get anywhere with it. But they thought it was A) hilarious and B) horribly deviant and wrong that I had this huge plate of pineapple. And while I didn't really mind A, B got on my nerves. So instead of a balanced meal, I have a whole lot of fruit! Sue me!

Though I do admit: eating that much fresh pineapple makes your mouth hurt, because of all the acid. Especially since I saw the dentist the day before so there was stuff still a little raw from them scraping around in there.

Then, because even that much pineapple wasn't enough to fill me up I had some rice. Restaurant rice kind of sucks, because it's all dry, but again: it doesn't feel like I'm taking my life into my hands. So I got some of that. And again, I got a lot of it because it's not that filling. And, um, the soy sauce kind of burned the pineapple wounds.

OKAY. I ADMIT IT. I have weird eating habits. But it's like, why is it that weird? It's not like I alternated mouthfuls of this stuff, I ate it all separately. So it's not like mixing things that would be disgusting together. And fruit and rice are pretty healthy, right? And no, it's not giving me any more bowel problems than I already have anyway. And who doesn't love fresh pineapple, really?

Also I saw some lemon meringue pie and had it. But didn't eat the crust.

This is why I dread eating with other people. It's even worse, though, if you go to someone's house and they cook for you. I can't tell you how many friends' moms I've pretended to nibble at the food they cook while trying to inhibit my gag reflex.