After I decided that Bob Costas was dead sexy (re: previous post) I decided to broadcast this fact to every guy online on my buddy list that I have not IMed in more than a month. I sent them:

Phoemeister: ....After a lot of soul searching, I've decided that I'm leaving you for Bob Costas.
Phoemeister: No, don't argue or try to keep me in this failing relationship.
Phoemeister: We would both regret it.
Phoemeister: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon. And for the rest of our lives.
Phoemeister: Farewell.

Sadly only two guys replied. But they were quality replies, so I'm posting them. The first:

Z: Son of a bitch that happens every time..
Z: bastards got like 40 wives that are exes of mine.
Phoemeister: Well.... Bob Costas is just so dead sexy
Z: I have to agree. If I could leave myself for him I would.
Phoemeister: Yes. If only it were possible.

The second guy is actually the fiancee of a chick I actually talk to fairly frequently (Assenstein, if you remember that conversation. I would link to it, but it's one of the very valuable things I lost when the server punked out on me :P):

M: Bob Costas?
M: What does he have that I don't?
Phoemeister: He is dead sexy.
Phoemeister: You're only partially sexy.
Phoemeister: If that.
M: He's a anchorman. Anchormen, by definition, are the anti-sexy.

Hey now. I know lots of people who think I'm dead sexy.
Phoemeister: Gary Coleman doesn't count. He thinks everybody is dead sexy.
M: Okay, so besides him, a couple people think I'm sexy.
Phoemeister: Those germans don't count! What do germans know? Germans like to listen to David Hasselhof sing! What's up with that?
M: For instance, this Assenstein chick thinks I'm dead sexy.
M: Americans like to listen to Britney Spears. It's not that strange.
Phoemeister: Psh. Ever since Assenstien O.D.'ed on all those horse steroids, her choice in men has been.... well.... questionable.
M: That explains so much...
Phoemeister: Touché...
Phoemeister: And at least Hasselhof has the whole talking car thing going for him. What does Britney have?
M: Tits
Phoemeister: Touché again....
M: Though I must say, talking car, very hott.
M: If it didn't mean being gay, I'd date a guy with a talking car.
Phoemeister: I know. If only Bob Costas had a talking car, he'd be the total package.
Phoemeister: I don't blame you! I'd date a girl with a talking car. As long as she didn't try any funny stuff.
M: lol
What if I had a talking car?
M: Would you get over your Bob Costas lust then?
Phoemeister: hmmm....
Phoemeister: would the talking car have hydraulics and fancy rims too?
M: Sure, if it turns your crank.
Phoemeister: K. Then I would take you and your pimped-out talking car over Bob Costas.
M: Sweet.