I always knew I was horrible at making friends, but just know it hit me how equally horrible I am at holding onto them once I get them. Like, I can do fairly well with someone for a month, even years and then.... all of a sudden the friendship starts eroding no matter how hard I try to shore it up, and I don't know how to fix it. All non-familial relationships are transient, and I'm left alone (because the familial relationships are more nagged to nag, debtor to moneylender, fifth wheel to the rest of the family than companionable).

No real point, it just makes me depressed.

I'll break
the white-trash ties that bind
trade a love so pure
for a hate so blind

--"Heartspark Dollarsign," Everclear