Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I did use the shuttle bus today, though I don't know if it will solve my underlying problem (not wanting to be outside for long when the weather's crappy) because I do have to sit around and wait for the bus. Which, doesn't even have any of those benches or the glass thing to keep rain off. The stop is just a sign, that doesn't even have the schedules printed out on it.

Speaking of which, there are two buses. The red line. And the blue line. But both buses are red. What is that? I mean, since they call it "Red Bird Express," I can see why both would be red. But I would at least expect a blue stripe or something on the blue bus. But no. They're exactly identical.

Anyway, today was pretty good. I got to see Caddyshack for class today. And my mom let me play with her new digital camera. So I now have a photo of my bookcase. Oooh.

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total conciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

--Carl Spackler, Caddy Shack

Monday, August 30, 2004

So, I fiiinally found a parking space. In a lot that makes all my previous bitching about how far away I was having to park make me look stupid, because this is two or three times the walk. Not cool.

However: there does seem to be a shuttle that takes people from that lot closer to campus. My problem today was I didn't know the schedule, and the idiots don't have it posted, and I really didn't want to end up late because I hung around for a shuttle that wasn't going to come and get screwed and all. But now that I have looked it up, I am feeling better about the whole thing.

After my first class, I directed at TV-10. Which, I'm still not as good as I'd like, but I guess that comes with time. Then, it ran late (it was a mock broadcast and we're trying to get into the groove of things, so we did parts of it more than once). And since I have a 20 minute commute home, not to mention the amount of time it takes to actually walk to my car, and my class gap's not that huge, I decided to hang around and got lunch and do a couple of ISU-related errands.

One thing I needed to do is get COM 398.01 (my internship) into the computer. I'd tried doing it already, but it said that I wasn't approved to take it, which they had said they approved. So I went to the Com advisement office, and before I can even describe to them what my problem is, the lady's all, "No, you can't sign up for anything yourself, the registration period's over. You have to go to the registrar's office and have them put it in you." And I wanted to say, "You're full of shit! If it's past the registration period, it won't even let you log into the registration system yourself, but it did let me, it just wouldn't let me pick this class." But I schlepped all the way over to the registrar anyway.

The lady at the registrar's office was pissed off. Not at me, but apparently a lot of idiotic advisors are telling people that, whereas I was right, the self-registration period is NOT over yet. My particular problem, she informed me, was that someone in the com office screwed up and approved me for section ONE of COM 398.01, when I needed section two. Which is actually a big difference, because section one is a radio internship or somesuch. So I walked all the way back to the com office and told them what the registrar lady said, and they fixed it for me, which maybe they would've been able to do in the first place if they had listened to me instead of foisting me off onto the registrar's office. So then I walked to a computer lab to self-register. And then I hung out for awhile, one of the few compliments I will give to stupid ISU is that they have pretty nice computers in their labs, and enough computers that it is easy to get in.

Also: was able to register for a gmail account, I'm trying it out. Actually, I guess technically, I could've gotten it awhile ago (blogger was giving out invites) but my computer was having problems with the registration page, so I thought blogger was giving out faulty invites. So I got an invite from someone else, and it wouldn't work, but then I got wise and did it at school. True story.

Anyway, if anyone wants an invite, or wants to help me test out the account by sending some e-mail my way, or just wants to send me random e-mail because they love me that much, I'm phoemeister at gmail dot com.
Yay, I've finally moved everything over to the new comics page.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Speaking of funnel cakes, I've noticed something strange about my neighborhood lately. I'm talking about this trailer in front of someone's house. It's not a regular trailer, it's one of those trailers they sell food out of at fairs and carnivals and such. Funnel cake, corn dogs, the whole 9 yards of fair food.

And it hit me: there are carnies living in my neighborhood. Carnies, for the love of all that is good and holy! I knew I lived in kind of a hick area, but never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be rubbing elbows with carnies! Am I going to turn into a carnie? Is it something you can catch?

And they're quite bold about it too. Unless there is a carnival that the carnies need to make it to, that trailer is always in their driveway. Not only is that bold, but inconvenient. They have to park their cars in the middle of their lawn, or on the side of the road or something. If I were a carnie (and we all know that's where I'm headed), I would totally hide my shame by putting my funnel cake mobile in a shed or something. Even if I became complacent about my carniness, I would still want to be able to get my car in the garage.

Incidently, I was telling this story to someone in class today, and one of my professors walked in right when I was describing the shed I would build for my carnie fair food trailer. Which just makes me sound crazy, like I plan to buy a funnel cake trailer and hide it in a shed, and sit there in the dark and eat funnel cake all day. He certainly gave me a look like that's exactly what he expected me to do. But hey, who is he to judge me and my carnie trailer shed? If I want to sit in a shed and eat funnel cake all day, that's what I'm going to do, dammit! This is a free country! This is what we fought the war for! Atticaaaaaaaaaaa!

Also, here's a (not very) carnie-related conver for your reading enjoyment.

Phoemeister: Sharks actually really freak me out, but I had to see Jaws for one of my other classes (one of the other semi-cool ones). And it was actually not so bad on account of how fakey the shark looked.
Phoemeister: A lot of things that I will never encounter ever in my life really freak me out, I've realized. Sharks, serial killers, killer bees...... and I don't even know why.
Kin: Heh. Well, they're just kind of freaky things.
Kin: I mean, who wants to get stung to death by a shit-load of bees? That would be the crappiest way to die ever.
Phoemeister: LOL..... yeah, that would be bad.
Phoemeister: They should make a horror movie about that.
Kin: I mean, getting stung once hurts enough to where it's not a pleasant experience at all. I can't imagine being stung enough times to die from it.
Phoemeister: Though actually I can see that more in a horror movie about something else, but the evil monster has the power to control bees or something. Like the scarab beetles in The Mummy.
Kin: It's been done. More than once, I think.
Kin: I don't remember what it's called, but there are a few horror movies about killer bees.
Phoemeister: Really? Well, yeah. I guess I never watch horror enough to know.
Phoemeister: I'm the hugest wuss. I don't really get scared in the theatre, but I always have nightmares after.
Phoemeister: I think there should be a horror movie about carnies.
Kin: Also been done.
Kin: ...A lot.
Kin: A lot, lot.
Phoemeister: Man. I'm horrible at this.
Phoemeister: I mean, I knew there were clown horror movies. But not carnie horror movies.
Kin: Pretty much everything you can think of has probably been done at some point.
Phoemeister: Probably.
Phoemeister: Mimes?
Kin: I'm sure. Haven't seen one, but I wouldn't doubt it.
Phoemeister: Is there a clown vs. carnies vs. mimes super-horror flick a la freddie vs Jason?
Kin: I dunno, but that would be kind cool.
Phoemeister: woo!
Phoemeister: Someday I'll write that screenplay.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

I went to the Normal Corn Festival today.

The problem if you go to enough of these things is that you see the same crafts over and over, I think when someone comes up with a funny phrase or innovative knick knack, 8 other people immediately copy. So you get really tired of reading "spoiled rotten dog lives here" signs or seeing the "hillbilly wind-chimes" (a whole bunch of beer cans on strings). In fact, I might not have even went if I hadn't been crazy to get out of the house today.

Otherwise a good time. I had my first funnel cake in I don't know how long, which was nice, because I'm crazy about them. I didn't have any corn though. I like fresh corn, but I am always cutting it off the cob because otherwise it sticks in my stupid glued on retainer, and couldn't really do it at a festival (I'm sure you were dying to know all of this).

Also nice: though I didn't see all of it, I did get to see some of a Gamma Phi Circus performance they set up there. Gamma Phi Circus is actually an ISU organization, and they're one of the few things about ISU that I admit really kicks ass. Basically it's a group of students (mostly tumblers, but they have some great jugglers, fire-eaters, etc.) that works all year perfecting these awesome tricks and routines then put on a show at the end of the year (the bit they did today was only a little sample). I always love it when I see some random guy on campus who's practicing his unicycle by riding it to class.

I also hung out at my sister's today. Which, I have grown to hate. I am just dying of boredom 90% of the time I'm there. But today was actually great. I think I've realized my problem is that my sister and her family are cool, but my sister and her family + my parents is awful. Because all my parents want to do is talk about the most boring subjects possible when they're with sis et al, which I don't know why, because one on one, the 'rents are much more tolerable conversation-wise.

Who does Number Two work for? You show that turd who's boss!

--My sister and her husband, taking a page from Austin Powers, when encouraging their son to poo.
"It's a corn hull now full of poo, you see."

...the people I talk to on AIM. That one's right up there with, "I'm sure I've had weasel fun, but I'm not sure what it is."

Friday, August 27, 2004

After I decided that Bob Costas was dead sexy (re: previous post) I decided to broadcast this fact to every guy online on my buddy list that I have not IMed in more than a month. I sent them:

Phoemeister: ....After a lot of soul searching, I've decided that I'm leaving you for Bob Costas.
Phoemeister: No, don't argue or try to keep me in this failing relationship.
Phoemeister: We would both regret it.
Phoemeister: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon. And for the rest of our lives.
Phoemeister: Farewell.

Sadly only two guys replied. But they were quality replies, so I'm posting them. The first:

Z: Son of a bitch that happens every time..
Z: bastards got like 40 wives that are exes of mine.
Phoemeister: Well.... Bob Costas is just so dead sexy
Z: I have to agree. If I could leave myself for him I would.
Phoemeister: Yes. If only it were possible.

The second guy is actually the fiancee of a chick I actually talk to fairly frequently (Assenstein, if you remember that conversation. I would link to it, but it's one of the very valuable things I lost when the server punked out on me :P):

M: Bob Costas?
M: What does he have that I don't?
Phoemeister: He is dead sexy.
Phoemeister: You're only partially sexy.
Phoemeister: If that.
M: He's a anchorman. Anchormen, by definition, are the anti-sexy.

Hey now. I know lots of people who think I'm dead sexy.
Phoemeister: Gary Coleman doesn't count. He thinks everybody is dead sexy.
M: Okay, so besides him, a couple people think I'm sexy.
Phoemeister: Those germans don't count! What do germans know? Germans like to listen to David Hasselhof sing! What's up with that?
M: For instance, this Assenstein chick thinks I'm dead sexy.
M: Americans like to listen to Britney Spears. It's not that strange.
Phoemeister: Psh. Ever since Assenstien O.D.'ed on all those horse steroids, her choice in men has been.... well.... questionable.
M: That explains so much...
Phoemeister: Touché...
Phoemeister: And at least Hasselhof has the whole talking car thing going for him. What does Britney have?
M: Tits
Phoemeister: Touché again....
M: Though I must say, talking car, very hott.
M: If it didn't mean being gay, I'd date a guy with a talking car.
Phoemeister: I know. If only Bob Costas had a talking car, he'd be the total package.
Phoemeister: I don't blame you! I'd date a girl with a talking car. As long as she didn't try any funny stuff.
M: lol
What if I had a talking car?
M: Would you get over your Bob Costas lust then?
Phoemeister: hmmm....
Phoemeister: would the talking car have hydraulics and fancy rims too?
M: Sure, if it turns your crank.
Phoemeister: K. Then I would take you and your pimped-out talking car over Bob Costas.
M: Sweet.
Also, today I decided Bob Costas is dead sexy.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Still dismayed by parking. This time couldn't find a spot for a class that I had previously been able to find a spot for. What am I supposed to do? (other than wake up at 6 a.m. and then farting around campus for hours?)

Finished Catcher in the Rye yesterday. It was really weird... the last time I read it was Sr year of high school, and I remember being deadly earnest about how I was exactly like Holden Caulfield, and the world is stacked against anyone who doesn't want to be a sellout and all. And I mean, I should feel more like that than ever, I'm MORE isolated and directionless than I was four years ago. But I feel a lot more removed from it now. I think it's because I'm much more mature than I was five years ago (though probably still less mature than most people my age) and can see the amusing side of that book, so I got some good laughs out of it.

The best part of reading CitR in high school though: we got to write an essay on another book from the class as if we were Holden. Best essay ever, about the only time I've ever gotten to use the phrases "gives me a pain in the ass" and "sweating like a bastard" in a school paper.

He kept saying they were too new and bourgeois. That was his favorite goddam word. He read it somewhere or heard it somewhere, Everything I had was bourgeois as hell. Even my fountain pen was bourgeois. He borrowed it off me all the time, but it was bourgeois anyway.

--Catcher in the Rye

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Am rather dismayed by parking, I had thought I solved my problems. But no. Apparently my other class times are just better for finding parking than 10 a.m. Monday/Wednesday. So I pulled the same stupid trick again today, after going through 3 different lots (watching 4 other cars peforming the same fruitless search with me each time, making it impossible even if I did get lucky and someone left the lot, because any one of them would be better at getting there first, with the narrow lanes that I'm unable to turn around in and the fact that I'm a sucky driver) and starting to freak out about being late. And again, it worked. But I am hesitant to become dependent on this, because if they catch me I could pay a pretty hefty fine. Grrr, stupid ISU.

Also dismayed by the load of reading I have to do for school, though I've mentioned this before. My one prof wants me to read the usual stupid garbage (which, honestly, I'm probably going to skimp on a lot), and the lit prof is making us read one or two chapters of a textbook each week PLUS an entire work of fiction each week. Which... this week isn't so bad, I have Catcher in the Rye. It's easy, short, and most of all: a book I actually enjoy. But what am I going to do when I have to try to plow through Death of a Salesman? It could be the most awesome play ever and I'm going to hate reading it, for the simple reason that (in my opinion) plays are the worst ever to read. I either watch the play or read a novel. I don't want to just read the play. *sigh*

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

I love how creative spammers are getting. Today I got an offer entitled, "Make your scallywag massive." And I know scallywag is some bizarre name for penis. But what if I DID have a more traditional scallywag, such as Dennis The Menace? Wouldn't it be cool if he was massive? He'd show Mr. Wilson then.

....okay, I think I'm on crack. That wasn't even particularly funny.

Anyways: second class today, Literature & Film. MUCH better lineup than the stupid artsy films for the other class, though the list is not without artsyness or the requisite classic films. A bad thing about being a film minor is the repetativeness. After this semester is over, I will have seen Citizen Kane and Stagecoach for 4 different classes each. I have a few other repeats as well, including The Maltese Falcon. Which, actually won't be too bad to see again, because I watched it at the end of last semester when I was watching at least 1 movie everyday and my attention span was shot. I really literally cannot remember anything past the first 10 minutes.

Monday, August 23, 2004

So... a liiiittle less freaked out about the parking situation, though not much. I found a parking spot for my afternoon class. Though barely, there were two spots open in the enormous lot I tried this time. And I couldn't find my car when I got back, because it's hooked onto 18 other sizeable parking lots (none of which a lowly commuter is allowed in save the one I was actually in) making it insanely confusing to find the car even though I parked at the corner of my particular lot, and was like, "Okay, church there, ugly building there, I think I can find my way back," before I left.

The screening.... utter agony. I admit it: I am a plebian proletariat common person who doesn't get artsy art. In my personal opinion, the filmmaker's a moron, a 10 year old could put together the same unintelligable, unrelated images and then babble on in the commentary track about how a 25 minute film of a couple of flashing lights represents his parents' marriage or how he used to be suicidal. But I'm not the art police. If you're into that, hey, cool. It just really makes me mad when they try to tell us art can be anything, even random crap like this, in a class where they're trying to dictate to us exactly what art is. You can't have it both ways. There are rules or there aren't, and we shouldn't have to learn your stupid rules if you're going to show me stuff that adheres to no rules whatsoever.

Also, the gallbladder story is circulating with surprising speed. I gave a (condensed) rendition of it to my news director when I stopped in at TV-10 earlier, and that's about it. But she must've talked to the chief photog (who happens to be in the film critism class ranted about above) because before the screening he turns around to me and is like, "So..uh...I heard you got your spleen removed or something?" And I explained, much to the amusement of my surrounding classmates (I DO know how to milk a story). I actually know a lot of people in that class, so hopefully it'll be slightly less excruciating.

Bright spot: new Ben Folds EP arrived. Yay.

Run, whitey, run!

--My dad and I, cheering on Wariner in the 400m
So... I'm kind of screwed. Living at home and commuting to school was a bad, bad idea. How bad?

Well.... the bastards oversell the permits for the commuter lots. Which, I realized I was never, ever going to get a good parking spot and that I'd have to walk an eternity to get to anything even if I DID get a "good" parking space, because the commuter lots are way far away from anything.

What I didn't realize was that I couldn't get ANY spot. In any of the lots. And that I'd freak out today and end up parking in one of those places a lot of parking lots have that is really not a parking space, but you can manage to fit your car in there. Which is a bad idea, because ISU lots are VERY ticket happy, and I can see myself shelling out sixty bucks for pulling that. But I had to get to class. I had to put my car somewhere. And I paid good money for this damn parking pass in the first place.

So I either get to wake up at 6 a.m. to try and find a spot or repeat this excercise every day. Twice every day. I have a HUGE gap in my schedule that is pretty hard for even a champion loiterer to fill by loitering around campus.

First class: nightmare. Not taught by the dude who gave me WAY too much work last semester, but this prof is actually friends with last semester dude. And he was saying how initially he had way more work for us, but that the last semester dude was like, "Whoa! That's too much." So he's pretty hardcore. And also: he likes the WAY too artsy and/or old films, which I've had my fill of by now.

On the bright side, I visited TV-10 to get my paperwork and things for interning there again. I'm really disapointed that I couldn't get a "real" internship, but am happy to be back in my comfortable niche with people I know and work well with.

Do you professors give values to these and then trade them amongst yourselves?

--a classmate of mine, on the 3 x 5 cards all the profs make us fill out at the beginning of the semester.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

So, I got an e-mail from ISU today about why my e-mail disappeared and then reappeared, apparently it's part of this thing they're doing to upgrade the servers.

I post this because it's such a typically ISU thing to do: do something that freaks people out, then warn them afterwards.

Now I'm bored, so I'm filling out this Allmusic survey:


First Record Bought:
Mmm... I can't remember any of my tapes. So my first CD is a tie between No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom and Alanis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill, which I bought at the same time. Which is really bizarre, because out of the 100+ CD's I've bought since then, I've only bought 3 other albums with female vocalists. I still have Tragic Kingdom, but a roommate absconded with the Alanis album and I've never felt the need to replace it.

First Concert:
Some Christian rock thing. Newsboys, Sonic Flood, and the opener: a thrash metal band called Beanbag that was quite out of character with the other two bands. Their whole set seemed to be screaming "Jesus will never let you down! Jesus will never let you down!" as loud as their tortured vocal chords allowed.

Favourite Music Movie:
A Hard Day's Night. Is there really any other choice?

Favourite Music Book:
Mmm... if I've ever read any I don't remember them very well.

Favourite Songwriter:
Ben Folds

Favourite Producer:
I guess I don't pay any attention...

Favourite Record Label:
Ditto.

Favourite Magazine:
Rolling Stone. Which... I do get annoyed when they spend so much space on popular people I hate, but find it much better than Spin (the only other one I read), which is wall-to-wall obscure bands I've never heard of that you can't even get a feel for in their descriptions, because they use adjectives that describe nothing.

Favourite Bassist:
Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Favourite Album Cover:
The Madding Crowd by Nine Days

Favourite Teen Idol:
Eh...

Artist Who Broke Your Heart:
How? By sleeping with me and not calling the next day? Or do you mean by dropping a really crappy album? The latter happens all the time. The former: surprisingly rare.

Artist You Will Always Believe In:
I may be cynical, but I don't think I'll always believe in any band or singer.

Singer Who Makes Your Skin Crawl:
90% of rappers and a significant percentage of pop stars.

Singer Who Makes You Swoon:
I'm assuming this means "sexy voice." Jason Wade of Lifehouse, Anthony Kiedis of The Red Hot Chili Peppers...... I have a lot more probably, but those were off the top of my head.

Favourite Sound:
Cello. I get this weird high from songs with cello or other stringed instruments in. Though if all songs had cello, then I'd probably be all about something else.

Album You Will Always Defend:
I dunno. I've never had to defend any album I really like. Either the people I talk to like it, or have never heard of it, or don't really care to argue about it.

Album You Own That No One Else Does:
I have a lot of semi-obscure stuff but nothing truly unknown.

Classic Album You Own but Don't Like:
I don't think I have anything classic, classic. I have a couple of albums that were really hyped that I don't like, though. So I guess I'll go with: White Blood Cells by The White Stripes

Artist You're Supposed to Like but Don't:
Ryan Adams, The Ramones, Bob Dylan.... all good choices for me based on other things I like. But I just can't get into any of them.

Song You Can't Stand by an Artist You Like:
Here's to the Night by Eve 6 or In the Middle by Jimmy Eat World

Band That Should Break Up:
Limp Bizkit? I don't really hate them as much as I used to, but I can't think of any "bands" I hate right off the top of my head (though if it were individuals, I think Nelly is the anti-christ)

Band That Should Re-form:
Maybe the Gin Blossoms, Refreshments, or Semisonic. I can't really back that up with reasons, just that I kind of miss them all.

Guilty Pleasure:
Probably that Hey Ya song by Outkast.

Favourite Music DVD:
Umm... I have both the Weezer and Red Hot Chili Peppers video collections (both have some random other stuff on there) and both are pretty good. But their only competition is this collection I have of the Stone Temple Pilots, who have surprisingly crappy videos.

Concert You Wish You'd Seen:
I'm not really a concerty person, I've only ever went to two and didn't enjoy either particularly. I guess I'd kind of like to have seen Ben Folds at some point, because I want him to have my babies and I hear he's really awesome live.

Dream Collaboration:
Eh... can't say I have one. I WAS pretty stoked when I heard Ben Kweller and Ben Folds made up 2/3 of The Bens, but since their EP wasn't that great I've given up on supergroups both real and imaginary.

And...... done. I can't believe tommorrow's my first day of school. Again. Shouldn't I be done with this stuff by now?

Do it!
--Starsky & Hutch

Saturday, August 21, 2004

I wasn't too worried about the gallbladder removal leaving a bad scar. I mean, I've seen my dad's appendix scar, and that's from the days before laporoscopic surgery, and it's not even that bad. But I started worrying because people keep asking me if I am worried. So I got some of those scar removing things they've been advertising on TV lately.

What a gyp! It's basically these silicone things to put over the scar. No medicine on there (I looked all over the box to find the "active ingredient") at all! Just silicone. And I don't know why that would help. Plus, I have my doubts that it's even silicone. The little strips basically look just like the part of a band-aid that doesn't have the little pad on. I'm thinking you just wear these things until you forget what the scar originally looked like, and then after you take it off you're like, "Well, that's not as bad as I remembered" and that's your (or in my case, my mom's) money down the drain. Also: they're manufactured in Finland. I've never trusted those Finnish.

Something good that happened: the e-mail I lost is suddenly back. For no reason. I say "Yay!" though I am still puzzled over the incident.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Am enjoying the Olympics muchly lately, by the by. I don't usually like sports, but find myself freakishly emotionally invested in the athletes for swimming and gymnastics, though I only see them once every four years, and sometimes not even that if they only come once.

Anyway, I've noticed an interesting trend: the little mini-pictures they show of people by Bob Costas's head or on top of their records on things: very unflattering. Not sure what's up with that. But they've got one of Amanda Beard where she looks e-vil and it really freaks me out. And one of Gary Hall Jr. with, I kid you not, a porno 'stache. Though I really think that's more his fault than NBC's, for growing the 'stache in the first place. Unless someone at NBC altered the picture, which is exactly what I would do if I were the minor peon in charge of the little pictures. Only I'd add mutton chop sideburns too to make it classy.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Put up the fourth new comic: Normal, dedicated to my hometown, Normal.

Nerds gone wild!

--Ben Folds "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You"
Right now I'm trying to make a mix tape to play in my car (no CD player + I've no idea how to properly work the radio) and I'm realizing just how truly awful I am at it. First off, I keep loading up on my top 5 or 6 favorite bands. But what I really mean to do is load up on people who only have one or good songs per album instead of "wearing out" good albums that don't need to be chopped and mixed together anyhow.

Also, I'm trying for peppy songs, as that's the kind of driving music I generally like best. But I get tired partway through and start putting in mellow or sad songs. But I don't want that kind on even if they're good, because I just know that I'll want to fast forward them when I'm actually in the car, which is a pain with tapes.

Which I forgot to mention, this whole thing comes because I actually have a car now, my mom's old 1994 Camry. Now that it's got all the cigarette stink out of it, it's actually not too bad. My Mom got her new Camry the day I went into the hospital because of the gallbladder business, and with all that going on, I'd kind of forgotten to mention it. Anyway, I'm glad to have a car now, especially as I am commuting to school this semester. However, the tape I kept in my old car was YEARS out of date in regards to my tastes even before I had the crash, so I was sort of going to celebrate with a new car tape, but am finding it much harder than the first. Because I only had like, 10 CD's when I made it. And now I have over 10 times that at last count. Very tricky.

Also: FIIINALLY getting some progress done on the new comics page. The keenspace idea is out the window, because I never got the e-mail(s) I needed to give me my password or confirm my account or whatever, so I finally bit the bullet and got a Geocities page on which I've posted 3 of the 4 comics I've made and never put up on the old page (stay tuned for the fourth!) and am hoping to move the old ones too, sometime when I'm feeling less lazy than usual.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Another crisis a'brewin': I bought my school books today.

HOLY CRAP am I glad I'm only taking two classes this semester. I swear to you, those two classes have more required books than I usually have when I'm taking a full load per semester! The salespeople had to give me a box so I had any chance of hauling these things out to my car.

The first class, I kind of understand why there's so many books. The class is literature & film, so all of the books are novels films have been based on. I'm actually kind of interested in reading a few of them. I've got American Beauty, Death of a Salesman, the Maltese Falcon, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Fight Club, Shrek, Psycho, Catcher in the Rye, and probably a couple I forgot because it IS such a laundry list.

But the second class, I have like, four HUGE books on film theory, that I really can't see me and my lazy ways reading anyway, but I buy them out of optimism that I will even though I know I won't. A fifth, smaller one, is actually a book I had in McGee's class and really hated. Called, "Ways of Seeing," by Berger. Let me tell you, Berger is more full of crap than anyone ever besides McGee himself. Plus, it's a cultural examination, but it's SO out of date, it's from the 70's. It really galled me to have to buy it a second time (I sold it back the first time, not knowing there were two profs awful enough to require it).

Say it ain't so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain't so
My love is a life-taker


--"Say it Ain't So," Weezer

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. I'm an insanely packratty person, even on the web. Which means I keep a buttload of old e-mail, especially in my school account where I've never hit any limit. Also, I keep a lot of e-mail so I can remember the address of the sender, because I could never get the address book to work on that account. A lot of e-mails with important, officially information are kept in there, as well as a few e-mails of sentimental note.

Anyway, I logged in to my school account today and it is all GONE without a single warning. Four whole years of e-mail. Four. Whole. Years. Of. E-mail. FOUR WHOLE YEARS OF E-MAIL! Gone. GONE! GONE!!

Dammit.... I REALLY need to start backing things up.
A conversation snippet I'm including because I feel like it:


Me: Aaah! I took too much of your lotion for my hands. Where will it all go?
Mom: You could try putting some on your legs.
Me: I don't want to! Hey, what if I put it all on my elbows? What if my elbows are super-absorbent? That would be a GREAT superpower. What if there's a flood? "Get Phoemeister!" and bam! I'd plunge my elbows into the water and save the day.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Even though it's August, the other Phoe has got me thinking about National Novel Writing Month in November already (which basically consists of writing an entire, if short, novel in a month or less). On one hand, I'll probably have a lot more time on my hands this fall. Only 6 hours of classes. Though: those are film classes, which tend to have extra time for viewing. And I'm also thinking of taking 3 hours of internship at TV-10 again (since I couldn't get the outside internship I wanted) which more translates to over 10 hours a week. And I'd like to get a job for cash (though who knows, I apparently suck at getting jobs even a trained monkey could do. I wanted one this summer, too).

But still, less homework/papers to write. And time wasn't really my problem in the first place, more motivation. I think I really could get it done if I ever thought I had a plot worth writing. My first try was just me basically knocking together a few of my old RP characters together. Which, I had them get in an arguement immediately and then it never ended, and there was never any plot, and I gave up because I could not think of any way of moving the stupid thing foreward.

That same year I tried switching to a plot provided to me by a friend (who writes quite a bit and had thought that one out but ended up not using it) and it was AWESOME. She pitched it to me as this girl falls into a coma, and she meets this ghost girl who lives in her house. The ghost chick is all about trying to convince the coma girl to die too, because if you die while you're in a coma you stay there, and then she would have a friend to hang out with. But after awhile, you find out some disturbing things about the ghost chick, like she has to relive her death all the time, which was her parents killing her because they couldn't afford to care for someone in a coma any longer.

I don't read horror, but I found it compelling. I tweaked it a little, making the story start out light (planning to make it darker and darker, as opposed to just starting out dark), and making the coma girl a guy, because I figured one way ghost chick could persuade the coma person to stay was seduction or something. But after awhile I realized I have no idea how seduction goes, or how to get into the head of a main character who I had foolishly made into a type of person I don't understand well enough to get inside the head of (a popular guy on the football team; he got in the coma because he or one of his football buddies got drunk and drove). Or how I would reconcile some of the details of the story, or even how I would resolve the main plot, or how to even keep things going steadily instead of just blurting out the whole surprise at once or making the conflict come to a climax halfway through the story and not having anything else to write. So I kind of copped out on that one too. I'm sort of mad I didn't save what I DID have to maybe look over now, I remember it being fairly good.

Last year, I was like, "I'm just going to do something plotless!" and I was going to hook up some of the funnier AIM conversations I've ever had, connecting them with fake ones I made up (hence the "fiction" aspect of this project) and sort of string it all together as being a loosely connected character study of the person having all of these conversations (me, sort of). I also thought it would be kind of cool to do it in "real time," i.e. making all of these conversations happen over the course of the month I was writing the novel. But then I decided it should have SOME plot, and I was going to work a bit in where the main character gets an internet stalker harassing her in some of these conversations, and maybe one of her other friends from the conversations saves her, but I realized if a stalker showed up at my house, it would be innefectual for someone miles away to somehow burst in and save me. And I wouldn't know how to write that bit even if it did happen, because all of a sudden I would have to depart from conversations, and write it in a different format, making it sort of confusing. So I pretty much scrapped it.

Anyway, I'm wondering (now, so that if I do decide to do something I can maybe work on plotting out an outline first or something, and really COMMIT instead of stopping during the first week) if I should retool either of these concepts (I really love the horror plot, and for the AIM bit, I am a lot better at character study than most other writing), go for something new, or just give up my literary geek pretentions already if I'm too lazy to back them up. Any input, people?

It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer


--"Paperback Writer," The Beatles
On ego:

Phoemeister: It reminds me of how I screw with people's heads. Only he's lazy and doesn't start it unless people make the assumption in the first place :P
Talia: naw, not lazy, subtle
Phoemeister: Ah. I guess you know him better than I do. I just assume it's laziness, because if it were me doing it, it WOULD be laziness.
Talia: true true :-P
Phoemeister: I'm very ego centric. I realized that when I was at one of my high school friend's wedding showers. I hadn't seen her in a long time and had no idea on most of them, so when I was filling out that "how well do you know the bride?" sheet for the "how well do you know the bride?" game, I gave up after awhile and started supplementing pretty heavily with answers that would be more appropriate for "how well do you know Phoemeister?" without even knowing I was doing it at first.
Talia: doesn't hurt to have a healthy ego... hurts if it's bloated :-P
Phoemeister: Well mine is both unhealthily bloated AND shriveled. Like.... at some times I'm like, "I'm the shit! Everyone should worship me. FOREVER." But other times I'm like, "I should just keel over and die, I suck so much. I am a waste of oxygen." Hopefully it averages out to healthy :P

Sidenote: the crappy thing about having quotes all the time: I am always hearing something and thinking, "That would be a great quote." But then I always forget it and have to pull something out of my ass. I should write things down.

Other sidenote: am enjoying this blog, and am jotting down the url so I don't forget it like the quotes. I especially like the bee post. My own experience with bee stings is limited to one incident where I was stung on the bottom of my foot by a bee I accidently stepped on, so I actually feel the bee was justified in that case. And being excessively paranoid about being stung when I see bees around, or running afoul of the much heralded killer bees in general, the way I am excessively paranoid about nearly everything.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

I always knew I was horrible at making friends, but just know it hit me how equally horrible I am at holding onto them once I get them. Like, I can do fairly well with someone for a month, even years and then.... all of a sudden the friendship starts eroding no matter how hard I try to shore it up, and I don't know how to fix it. All non-familial relationships are transient, and I'm left alone (because the familial relationships are more nagged to nag, debtor to moneylender, fifth wheel to the rest of the family than companionable).

No real point, it just makes me depressed.

I'll break
the white-trash ties that bind
trade a love so pure
for a hate so blind


--"Heartspark Dollarsign," Everclear

Thursday, August 12, 2004

It just hit me how lazy I am..... I'm sitting here using the family computer to access the internet, and I've got my laptop on nearby, just so I can listen to the music files on it. If I were a human being instead of a slug, I'd cut out the middleman and hook up my laptop to the internet. But..... no.

Not sure why I felt like mentioning that. Maybe I've slipped out of my less-blogging summer coma and am ready for fall. The weather HAS been freakishly cold (but nice) for this time of year.

And you don't see me...

--"Three Libras," A Perfect Circle
I love having a blog. I was looking through some of my archives last night and was just like, "Whoa." Because even only three years ago, which is when I started this thing, I can definately see that I have changed. And it's interesting to go back and see what that person who was me thought about things.

I also think it helps me remember things better. I read bits, and am like, "Oh, I remember that!" but I think some of these incidents would be lost otherwise. Particularly my musings about things. Which is why it's so heartbreaking that I lost an entire year of archives (summer '03-summer '04) because I was too stupid to back them up. It's like losing part of myself.

Anyway, I find it laughable how often I'm like, "Dude, you were an ass!" when I read the poorer posts in my archives. Or how often I'm like, "Wow... that post was AWESOME. You were a genius!" when I read the good ones. Or even how often I forget that I was the one who wrote this stuff, and am like, "I totally agree with that post!" and then realize.... well, of course I agree with that post. It's my opinion, after all. But sometimes I disagree with my past self. Which is how I can tell I've changed. That, and most of my glaring grammatical errors have turned into different types of glaring grammatical errors.

Anyway, I leave you with an excerpt from November 7, 2001 that I was particularly impressed by, and is a strong example of the aforementioned "type of thing I would have forgotten if I hadn't written it down on the ol' blog." Enjoy.

Then, I know this was corny, but I looked up, and saw the birds flocking as they always do in the fall, on their way south. Black birds, as always, but they would've been black anyway, the dusk held just enough light to form elegant silhouettes of them against the pale blue sky. And I thought, "How beautiful." And I wondered how come there's so much beauty and so much horror both in the same world, as no doubt a million jillion bazillion people have thought before I ever came up with it, but I thought of it anyway. And then I thought of something my dad says, whenever he sees the countless numbers of birds wheeling randomly through the sky in the fall, "I wonder how they manage not to hit each other, even though there are so many of them and the flock is so chaotic." And I wished that humans could get along as well as those "lesser" creatures, up there in the sky.

And the flock thinned out, as some of them landed on the now leafless trees, also silhouetted against the sky, but some of them followed me all the way home.


I also remember that those particular birds hung around campus all winter and pooped all over everything.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Also: I've decided today to start a list to keep track of phrases that I think should become band names.

Entry 1: "Zoloft Hate Campaign" Credit: Tina

Entry 2: "Licorice Down My Pants" Credit: the licorice down my pants

Don't worry
even if things end up a bit too heavy
we'll all float on alright


--"Float On," Modest Mouse
Today I had licorice down my pants.

True story.
Okay.... I'm wondering if this happens to anyone else:

I get these really bizarre memory flashbacks from music. I mean.... they say music can help with memory, that if something big happened to you while a song was playing, that song could remind you of it. But have you ever had just.... a stunningly mundane memory, of something you did every day, but a song reminds you of it? Honestly, these are just a few of my bizarre connections:

"Wandering," Ben Folds -- I remember waiting for the grill at the dining center to make me a grilled cheese sandwich.
"Summerland," Everclear -- Walking to chemistry lab freshman year.
"Little Discourage," Idlewild -- Walking down the stairs at my residence hall.
"Goodbye Tonight," Lost Prophets -- Walking up the stairs at Centennial West on the way to Early American film class last semester.
"Still Fighting It," Ben Folds -- Riding to the place my family goes for ice cream once.
"Stanley Climbfall," Lifehouse -- Waiting for the elevator at my res. hall.
"King of the World," The Old 97's -- Walking to East Asian history class sophmore year.
"Hiding Place," Idlewild -- Walking to one of my summer classes.

What is up with that? Maybe it's because I wear my headphones everywhere. Or that I'm crazy. Whatever. I just feel the need to see if there are more like me out there.

For your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath
you wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
you wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?


--"The Ocean Breathes Salty," Modest Mouse

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I love it when my parents leave me alone in the house. I like to turn up my boombox as loud as it will possibly go and listen to it from the other side of the house. Usually I pick something badass, but this time I wanted to listen to this tape of hippy music of my Mom's that my Dad and I had been talking about right before he left. But hey, good camoflauge. If the neighbors want to complain, they'll look stupid if they accuse the punk college kid of playing "Good Morning Starshine," too loud.

But in general it's nice to be alone sometimes. Because you can do stuff you wouldn't do when people are around, like play the same Dave Matthews Band song over and over while you eat garlic cheese bread for dinner while dancing and generally rocking out to the song. Which is what I did after I was done with the aforementioned tape. Good times.

Celebrate we will
because life is short but sweet for certain.


--"Two Step" Dave Matthews Band

Monday, August 09, 2004

So, I went to a wedding the other day (for the friend I got the spice rack for). I have to say: weddings are awful. I mean, the actual ceremony is fine, I have nothing against that. But receptions...... yech.

Because usually I hate the food and know no one there. Plus, it's generally loud (by virtue of crowding that many people in a room + a DJ or band) and I get a dismal headache.

This one was a little better, one of my friends from high school showed up and we talked a little. But she was tired (for various reasons) and I was having one of the aforementioned headaches, so neither of us felt like talking after awhile. And I was going crazy because I was ravenous, they took so long with the food. And when they did bring it, I ended up eating three rolls because the main course was gross. Plus an entire mini roll of mentos that they had as a wedding favor, and half of my friend's mentos. I had never had mentos before that, but I was dying for some problem to arise so I could cleverly solve it and then hold out the mentos like in the ads. But fresh didn't go better, the mentos freshness didn't keep me fresh and full of life (do do do do-wah). Instead I ended up grumpy, and leaving early (though this "early" was after I'd been there like 3 hours even though they STILL hadn't served the damn cake yet) and devouring microwave macaroni and cheese at home.

The ceremony itself did surprise me a little though. This was the first wedding I've ever been to of a devoutly religious couple. So while most other weddings I've been to barely give lipservice to Jesus (if that), this one was ALL about keeping a Christian home, and keeping their faith, and making Jesus a part of their relationship, and not that much about the actual couple. Plus, they kept reading biblical passages pertaining to marriage. Which, I wouldn't have been that hugely surprised, except they picked the most chauvinistic-sounding bits, all about how the wife should submit to her husband and stuff. If I ever get engaged and my husband is all, "I want the biblical passage about how you should submit to me in everything read during our ceremony," I'm dumping him faster than J Lo, I'll tell you that much. But my friend who was getting married seemed happy, so I'm happy for her, at any rate.

I guess that's the only thing of note that's happened to me lately.

This rejection's got me so low
if she keeps it up
I just might tell her so


--"Self Esteem," Offspring

Friday, August 06, 2004

I feel wounded! ...but at least not crazy anymore.

Today I got another e-mail from Ben Folds' site, pretty much saying, "Uh, we sent you an e-mail about the EP you ordered coming late yesterday, only we just realized you never ordered one, so it's coming never instead of late."

The thing is.... now I probably AM going to order the stupid EP after all this, because I do love me some Ben Folds.

Will you send me something soon?
Will you swing me near the moon with those words?
I know....
I know you will


--"Sunday Mail" Marcy Playground

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Whoa.... is it possible to love Ben Folds even more?

I got an e-mail from his website saying that some EP I ordered is going to be late.

Here's the rub: I haven't ordered anything from his website since January. And I got it in January.

So.... the options are:

1) I somehow pre-ordered the new EP a long time ago but don't remember. (I guess this one will be proved or disproved by whether or not a charge shows up on my credit card eventually. If it turns out I did buy it and forgot, I'm going to feel like a complete loon for forgetting)
2) Computer glitch at the website. (doubtful)
3) Someone punked me in a nice way by ordering it for me, only their plot is ruined by shipping delay. (kind of doubt it as I've already questioned the only other person I know who tracks Ben's releases very closely)

or, this is the one prefer to believe:

4) Ben, realizing that I am the perfect woman for him, has started sending me free merchandise in a bid to coax me to marry him and have his babies. Ben, don't bother! I'm already yours! You had me at "She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly." (high probability)

Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
than I ever have, before


--"Brick" Ben Folds Five
My dad and I saw The Bourne Supremacy yesterday, it was pretty good. Well, aside from the fact that they thought making the camera shaky all the time looked cool. I could've done without that. Though, I expected it as the first one was like that too.

I don't know why I constantly blog about movies I've seen. Maybe because I've not been doing much else lately. And probably, I'll see some more, soon. Since my dad retired, we've been seeing a lot more films. He wanted to see another today (we have The Village and The Manchurian Candidate on our "to do" list right now, plus that Tom Cruise taxi/assasin movie once it comes out), but I figured a day rest in between would be nice. Plus, today the weather has been absolutely, stunningly, gorgeous. As Dad used to (frustratingly) tell me when I was little and he didn't want to see whatever movie I was dragging him to, "You want to spend your time inside when it's like this out?" I feel the roles have reversed somehow (though I do want to see those others, particularly The Village). So I sat on the porch and listened to music/read the whole day. It was good.

With the birds I'll share this lonely view

--"Scar Tissue" Red Hot Chili Peppers

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Phoemeister: dude, my family's messed up.
Kin: Mine too.
Phoemeister: I just put some of this spray-antibiotic on my bellybutton (it's where one of my incisions is), and I was like wait a minute..... and looked at the expiration date, and it was November 1987
Kin: Whoa.
Phoemeister: I told my mom, and she wasn't surprised at all, and was like, "It still works."
Kin: Heh. Well, most medicines it doesn't really matter at all. They just put an expiration date on there because they're required to do so by law.
Kin: The spray part of that stuff might be effected after awhile though.
Phoemeister: Really? That eases my mind. My mom is always thrusting expired medication onto me, and I'm always convinced that someday something horrible is going to happen.

It sprays pretty well, I think. So that's good news for my belly button. I can't tell very well, but I think it might be oozing something.
Phoemeister: But it just might be the natural disgusting crap that kind of collects in belly buttons anyway
Kin: Heh. Could be.
Phoemeister: I figure better safe than sorry, though. I'm going to keep spraying myself with Solarcaine from 1987.

I could be the one to be your next best friend
You may need someone to hold you


--"Sleepwalker," The Wallflowers

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Update: still feeling pretty good. The only thing seems to be I get tired easy (which might still be a bit of sleep deprivation or not) and a headache that comes and goes. Also, some of my incisions are itching now, though that is good in a weird way, because it means I'm healing up properly.

Yesterday I saw my digestive specialist and my surgeon for a "quick" checkup each, and both gave me a clean bill of health. I put quick in quotation marks because seeing both of them ended up taking four hours, mostly spent waiting around for them. I hate how doctors overbook patients. If you really aren't fast enough, you should just schedule less people, dammit. Just because we're not doctors doesn't mean our time isn't valuable too.

And I went out shopping today, the first time I've been out of the house since the problems not to go to a doctor or my sister's house. (which I'd gone to with my parents so we could all celebrate my Dad's birthday together). My mom and I went to Barnes & Noble, where I bought a boatload of books. Which, now I'm regretting a couple of the choices a little. I picked up a lot of light/funny-sounding fantasy, just because I wanted something I could laugh at, but I forgot that most fantasy that tries to be funny really isn't, and ends up somewhere more in bad pun territory.

We also went to Best Buy, which is probably my biggest achilles heel. I can not go past their sale racks without an impulse buy or two, so I ended up with Snatch on DVD, and Modest Mouse's Good News for People Who Love Bad News. Snatch isn't quite as good as I remember, though alright. I absolutely LOVE two tracks off of the Modest Mouse CD, but don't really like the rest. Which, really gets me. How can a band make a couple of songs I love so much and nothing else? And it also bugs me, because I used to be able to test out albums beforehand by downloading stuff, and then either deleting it later or buying the album, but I can't anymore, so it's back to hit or miss again.