Okay, I originally wrote this post yesterday, but I got d/ced and then couldn't reconnect, so here it is:

Oi. It's been so long since I've had a full-time job I forgot how tiring it was. And hell, even back then it was Capacity, which I've mentioned before, I didn't do anything all day there. Though it actually did get tiring anyway, the boringness kind of tapped my mental energy.

Anyway, today was my first day off. It was my mom's birthday, and she's been dying to take the 'phew to the zoo, so we did that. It kind of sucked, in the middle of the day none of the animals do anything. Plus, I had a really awful headache, and my feet are so tired from work now that even just walking around the zoo for an hour makes them hurt.

Speaking of which, we also went to get me some orthopedic shoes. Technically they're called something else, and they don't look it, but they're meant to be orthopedic. But honestly, I wore them to the zoo and it didn't really help all that much. They might just be regular shoes that the store just wants you to think are orthopedic or something. And they also suck because I think they might pinch my toes a bit and rub my heels and they don't breathe so my feet are all hot and sweaty and uncomfortable in them. I fucking hate my feet. There are very few shoes that won't rub my heels raw. And of them, very few don't pinch my toes. I have wide feet and high arches, so I have to wear shoes way too big for me, and that's why they rub my heels, I think. And on top of that, I obviously have feet that are extra sensitive to standing around all day. If there is a god, though, these orthopedic shoes WILL fit me and WILL do orthopedic magic and the worst I'll have to deal with is the hot sweaty grossness. Because I really am in bad pain lately, and I don't want to have it getting even worse and worse. Like I said, I could barely handle the zoo today and that wasn't that much standing, really.

Also, all the bright sun outside gave me a migraine, like I mentioned, so after we got home I had to lie down in the dark. I still felt horrible by the time dinner rolled around, so I didn't go out to the birthday dinner. It annoys me that I spent my time going to the boring, hurtful part of the birthday celebration, but it made me feel too crappy to enjoy the actual good part.

So then, my entire day off was over and I have to go to work tomorrow at 6 a.m. Serioiusly, people with full time jobs, how do you do it? I feel like I have no me time whatsoever anymore. And I'm tired as hell in the time I do get off. And I've only been at it for a week.

Weirdly, having a job makes me cheap. When I had not a ton of money, but what I got was from my parents, I would spend it at a moderate rate. But now that I have a job, I'm absolutely tightfisted. Everything I look at the price tag on, I mentally calculate how long it would take me to earn it, and I'm like, "Yeah, that's not worth it." Also, I kind of want to eventually make it on my own, and I don't know how much I'll have to save to do that. I also feel bad, I was really excited when I found out I was making 7 bucks an hour, because that's a full dollar over our minimum wage, and it was the first time I'd ever made above minimum wage. But I was talking to a friend in connecticut, and the minimum wage there is already over 7, and they're thinking of kicking it up even more. I dunno. He pointed out cost of living is probably different, but it still has me bummed.

I was also thinking of (once I get it) blowing my entire first paycheck on something big just to celebrate, but I can't really think of anything moderately expensive that I want very badly.

The high point of things lately: I don't know if actually getting up and being active is it, or that I was just miserable from having nothing to do every day, but the colitis has been VERY good and well behaved since I got the job. Which is SO yay!