It's like everyone in my neighborhood got together today and was like, "Let's burn stuff!" Actually, less "stuff" (though my hick neighbors aren't adverse to burning tires or other random noxious objects) as much as plain old leaves. But leaves smoke badly, and there are a million better ways to dispose of leaves, so I can only assume these people just like burning things, as their previous "burn tires or other random noxious objects" behavior has shown in the past. I took a walk around the ol' hood, and there were at least five or six people burning leaves. It was actually kind of cool though, in a disgusting "I'll probably die from lung cancer now" sort of way. It was around dusk, and all the smoke hanging in the air looked like fog, and it is Halloween....

Speaking of which, 6 kids came to our door. We used to be a hotbed of trick or treat activity. But since my generation grew up, nada. Now there's only old people on our street, and no one wants to walk all the way over to our end because everyone's yard's so big, which means all the houses are far apart, which means it IS a heck of a big spot for a little kid to get all the way around. It was the bane of my existance, back when I was a little trick or treater.

I was trying to think of what my best costume was back in the day, and all I could come up with was "bee." Most of my other costumes were hand me downs from my sister, but one day I looked in one of those "make it yourself costume catalogues" they had at the craftstores, and I saw the bee, and I was like, "Mom, I gotta be a bee!" so my mom got the patterns, bought a yellow sweatshirt and sewed black stripes on it, pinned a stinger to me, and made an antenna-headband thing. So that was my only non hand me down costume I can think of aside from....

The worst costume. Which was "punk rocker." I can't exactly remember what I wanted to be that year, only that it fell through at the last minute for some reason or another. So my mom came up with punk rocker. Which, obviously neither she nor I had any idea about punk music or the punk movement in general. I could not tell the Sex Pistols from the Spice Girls back then. So I had a black sweatshirt she'd let me go crazy on with t-shirt paint, and some wash out hair dye, and at every single house they asked me what I was, and I'd say "I'm a punk rocker, dude!" in a surfer voice and hold out the "hang ten" sign. True story.

Man, I love blogsnob. The ad on there when I looked at my blog just now was "Bisexual Fence Sitters: Why lesbians have much disdain for bisexual women." Honestly, I had no idea that lesbians had much disdain for bisexual women. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a straight women and am supposed to disdain uh, I don't know, women who's shoes don't match their outfits. Which, would be me. I'm supposed to disdain myself. Which is a lot of work, so I can't be bothered with keeping up with lesbian and bisexual politics.

Anyway, I've been out driving today. My news director says I have the option of two different internships: WEEK or WMBD. WEEK is by far the superior internship, because interns there do a lot, learn a lot, and have a lot of good material they can put on resume tapes afterwards. However, interns at WEEK have to drive all over the place by themselves without getting hopelessly lost, a task I find somewhat difficult. At WMBD, I wouldn't have to drive much, but I wouldn't get to do overly much. So I'm trying to just go out driving and find random things in order to get comfortable with it so I can go to WEEK.

And actually, I'm better than I thought, once I have a decent map. I think half my problems before have stemmed from having this crappy-ass map at TV-10. The other half is being so dependent on maps in the first place, as opposed to being able to keep directions in my head. But I think having a good map will be enough. I think I can handle it. The only thing I have to conquer now is interstate driving (another requirement). I practiced some last year, but I still have the idea that I'm dangerously incompetant at merging. I mean, I've merged dozens of times, but I was with my dad, and he basically would be like, "go now!" as opposed to me figuring out when to go, which I have no idea when it's clear enough or not. However, I'm going to have to master interstate driving anyway, to commute to Peoria, because that's where ALL the stations I could possibly intern at are.

I've never been so lost
I've never felt so much at home
please write my folks and throw away the keys
I woke up in a car

"I Woke Up In a Car," Something Corporate

TV-10 was good today. I got to go to the zoo again today! We had a lot of fun looking at the animals, climbing onto things precariously balanced with heavy, extremely expensive video equiptment... but I digress. Hanging out with the animals was cool.

Another great thing: our sports guy dressed up as Ron Burgundy(sp?) from Anchorman for Halloween, and did his part of the newscast AS Ron Burgundy. I've never actually watched Anchorman, but I've seen the ads, and he had the voice dead on. Also funny was his fake moustache that fell off every 5 seconds. Also, everyone loved the piece I did with the dogs. So all and all, a good time.

I eat a dog biscuit every night! Helps me sleep!

--Sports Guy as Ron Burgundy commenting on my story.

meme I got from Phoe from Elsewhere. Most of these reeeeeeally don't work.

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME:
(Name of first pet / Street you live on):
Pepper Lunar

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:
(Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name):
Goldfish Harold

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME:
(First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):
Turbotax Taco Bell

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS:
(Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Cinnamon London

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS:
(Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
Lynnard Skynnard Normal

6. "FLY Boy" ALIAS (a la J. Lo):
(First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
A Sco

7. ICON ALIAS:
(Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
Marshmallow Dawn

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS:
(Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to Middle/High School):
Otter Parkside

9. BARFLY ALIAS:
(Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Goldfish Daquiri

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS:
(Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):
Lynn Lunar

(combining the two here)

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS:
(Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician)
Twizzler Folds

12. LOVER ALIAS: (Favorite Baked Good + Last Bf/Gf Last Name)
Brownie Nobody

13. GREASE ALIAS: (Favorite Swear Word + Last Word of Favorite Movie)
Zwan Darko

TV-10 was fun today. We went to this gourmet dog treat shop that was selling treats shaped like donkeys and elephants for the election. We called up everyone we knew with dogs to get them to come over so we'd have some interesting B-roll, but no one would (my sister's dog was at the groomers during this, the one time he would've been handy). But thankfully, the store owner called up a couple of her regulars and they were there with their dogs.

The best part was, on Wednesday a reporter we knew did a similar story, only about republican & democratic frozen custard at Culver's. During her standup, she took a spoonful of some and was like, "Mmmmmmmm! Deeeeeeelectable!" So to take the piss out of her*, my reporter did the exact same thing in his stand up, only with a dog biscuit. It was classic.

____
* Ha, I'm so conceited. For anyone who hasn't encountered the phrase "taking the piss" out of someone, it means to tease someone. In british. Which I obviously think I should be.

Phoemeister: I've had strawberries and hot dogs for 3 of the last four meals I've had.
Phoemeister: I've not had the runs for the first time in a week and a half.
Phoemeister: Coincidence?
Kin: Both at each?
Phoemeister: Yeah
Kin: Hey. Maybe you should start a new strawberry/hotdog diet.
Phoemeister: That's what I'm thinking. And really, the reason why I had it 3 times in a row. I'm almost at the point where I WOULD commit to hot dogs and strawberries for the rest of my life if it would fix things.

Today has been a mixed bag so far.

The bad: the colitis has been REALLY acting up today. I mean, it's sort of been acting up all week, and even the better days aren't exactly a walk in the park for me, but today was like.... every five minutes. And the pain that accompanies each time was not very pleasant either.

The good: I went to Westminster Village, a retirement community, to cover this holiday bazaar they were having. I don't usually like going alone (which I did for this) because of the fact that I have no sense of direction whatsoever and know where nothing is in this town, though I have lived here all my life. But I managed to go there without getting lost. Yay. Also they were very nice to me there.

Also I editted some other random stuff. Fun.

I am a loser geek
crazy with an evil streak.

--"The White Men in the Black Suits," Everclear

Ad aware has me very, very angry. I have no idea how this piece of crap came to become so highly rated. I went to their support forums to ask why it keeps freezing on me two seconds after I start the scan.

Well, first it wants me to register. So I did. Then it wants me to click the link on one of those validation e-mails. Of course, it doesn't SEND me the validation or tell me I need one, just lets me discover for myself when I can't post.

So I hit "resend validation e-mail," though it should be first send validation e-mail, because it seriously didn't send me one. So I click the link. And guess what? It won't validate my account because "the adminstrator hasn't approved my account yet." What? You didn't tell me I needed an administrator's approval. How am I supposed to get this approval? When will I get this approval? Are you smoking crack, whoever created this extensive system just for people to find out what the hell's wrong with your piece of crap program?

So in the e-mail, it says, "Having problems getting validated?" and I'm like, "Yes." It says, "Try going to this link, and typing in this stuff, and then it'll work." And then I go to that link, and type in that stuff, and it doesn't work, it gives me the same administrator message.

I just want to get the adware/spyware off my computer... is that so much to ask?

In other news, TV-10 was pretty fun, we interviewed this couple that has been married 56 years. They met at ISU and have other various ties to the university, so this year they get to be homecoming king and queen. Anyway, they were fun to talk to and very nice. And the guy was very chivalrous, he kept giving my (male) reporter a hard time because I (female, which I hope you know by now) was the one carrying the heavy camera, even though we explained to him that I'm the photographer, and half my job is carrying stuff.

They met when he brought in a drink to an area recently carpeted, and she had to tell him to leave. Awwww, how sweet.

Good times.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
till then I walk alone

--"Boulevard of Broken Dreams," Greenday

BOO. D/led ad aware, one of the 2 spyware progs EVERYONE says to get, and the damn thing just freezes up every time. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO COME AND FUCK ME UP, ADWARE?

So that's my mental breakdown for now.

Directing at TV-10 was nice today, a couple of people started off by complimenting how well I directed Monday. And at one point, my news director said, "I think of all of us on Monday-Wednesdays as one big family!" because apparently last semester she had some people that would stress out and snipe at each other. We were like, "we get stressed out too....." and she was like, "Yes. But in a happy way." And I had to laugh, because I knew exactly what she meant. And the Monday Wednesday group IS fun, if I do say so myself.

I also had a fun conversation with the production director. Apparently, they want someone to drive the TV-10 car in the homecoming parade and throw out candy. I have to say, I'm very apathetic. I don't think I've done anything for homecoming the whole time I've been here. So I was like, "How much of the candy can we eat ourselves?" which, at the time I made this query, I was literally stuffing M & M's into my mouth. And he was like, "You can eat whatever you want of it. Only it's going to be cheap crappy candy. No chocolate." And he looked pointedly at the M & M's. I was just fooling anyway, I have no intention whatsoever of driving anything in a parade, even for all the candy in the world. All I need is to crash into one float or pedestrian because I'm too busy eating and/or giving out candy, and I'll be up to my ass in lawsuits.

Also I picked up the new Jimmy Eat World album today. I meant to wait and ask for it for Christmas, but I haven't gotten any good albums in a long while, and thought maybe this would be worth it. And honestly, no matter how many albums I buy in the meantime, I'll probably have plenty of items still on my Christmas list, materialistic brat that I am. I actually didn't even know it was out, except a friend of mine was all, "I just bought it!" yesterday. True story.

Never let them think they got us down (got us down)
'cause we're already down (we're already down!)

--"Heaven or the Highway out of Town," The Refreshments

Family outings are like Russian roulette. I mean, I still go because even if things go bad I get some food that I don't have to microwave. But tonight went bad. First off, my sister started on my damn hair again. When I cut my hair a year ago, it finally shut her and my mom up, and now I find that that bliss lasts about a year.

Sis: Wow, your hair's getting long again
Me: Yeah, well it's been about a year since I got it cut.
Sis: WHOA!
Me: Uh, its not that big of a deal. I hadn't got it cut for 3 years before that.
Sis: How do you do it?
Me: grow hair? Well, there's these things in my head called follicles....
Sis: No, I mean, don't you have split ends?
Me: Well I never blow dry it or put on hairspray, so that helps
Sis: You don't get split ends from hairspray, you get it from brushing.
Me: Oh, well I guess I don't know how to spot them then.
Sis: Your hair gets frizzy if you have split ends.
Me: Well, I don't think it's frizzy, really.

And then, I don't remember how, but we got onto the fact that I can't add. Yes, that's right America, I cannot add numbers in my head. Are you happy now? I apparently was a slow kid in early grade school, because I can't tell time very well either. Which comes into this later.

So my sister mentions that I can't add in my head, something to do with board games and dice that we were talking about. I don't really mind her mentioning it. Or being teased about it a little. But my dad all got onto this HUGE tirade about how I can't add at all, it's not just dice. Which is obvious from the fact that I can't add two dice. I mean, I don't think there's anyone out there who's bad at adding dice, but is somehow great at adding in their head otherwise. So I get it. I'm a feeb who can't add. You really needn't rub it in.

On the way out of the restaurant (Panera, btw. A kind of middle ground between deli and Taco Bell, though only one person reading this will get that comment) I look at my watch, because I have to decide whether to go to my sis's and hang out for awhile or go straight to class. So I look at my watch and.... (I really can tell time, but I'm a tiny bit slow at it sometimes) my dad gets impatient and shouts out the time like I can't tell it myself. In fact, I came up with it and said it at about the exact time he did, so it was really not necessary. Really. Come on. If I wanted you to just tell me the time, I would ask you. But instead you had to make me feel like even more of a feeb. Thanks.

So anyway, I felt great after that. And also the, "Mmm, we're having baby!" joke was not well recieved when they decided to put the 'phew in his carseat on top of the table, leaving no space for us to eat. But really, last time I saw the 'phew, my sister made a hitler joke when he raised his hand in sort of the heil way. So eatin' baby was comparatively not that tasteless of a joke, I felt.

Then I went to class for Blue Velvet. It was okay, I guess. You can tell it's supposed to be controversial and polarize you either for or against it, but I just kind of felt detached from it all. What really drives me nuts in that class, though, is that it's open for anyone to take, as opposed to the other classes I take that only others with a film studies minor can take. As annoying as I sometimes find the artsy fartsy more intelligent than thou film minors, they are not near as annoying as the general student population, who for some reason love to shout random things, laugh at inappropriate moments, and yell EWWWW!!! at gory bits during screenings.

Is it his brown eyes?
I know blues eyes get boring but
I'll wear dark glasses all the time
and hey, if you want me to I'll take a knife to
my own bright eyes

--"Sell My Old Clothes I'm Off to Heaven," Saves the Day

Well today I just found out I have an essay due on Thursday. There's no syllabus for the class, he's sort of got a schedule on the website, but it's not the same. Plus, it has absolutely no dates, just week 1, 2, 3, etc. And it's segmented so you can't look at the whole thing at the same time.

So if, like me, you were just looking at next week for the reading assignments, you won't know a whole lot ahead of time. And if, like me, you can't make heads or tails of the page for each week anyway, you get no notification at all. I wouldn't have even known about the paper at all if someone hadn't brought it up in class today.

Anyway, I guess I shouldn't get so outraged. We all know I was going to do the paper Wednesday afternoon anyway, no matter when I was notified. The only thing that gets me is if we asked the prof ahead of time, we could analyze any film we wanted for the paper, but since I didn't know until now, I have to use one of the films we viewed for class, which I don't know as well as some of the movies I have on DVD lying around the house, and have to go out and rent, hoping that it's actually in stock at a rental place.

I am so glad that this is my last semester.

Let me out, let me out, I'm singin'
Let me out, let me out I'm singin'

"Let Me Out," Future Leaders of the World

I think slacking must be a little bit like alcoholism. You just can't help it sometimes.

Or at least I can't help it. I totally did not study at all for the midterm I had today. Which, I should've. But didn't. I also skipped the screening for that class afterwards. It was horrible weather out, though. And I just cannot take another movie from that class, honestly. One helping of german silent movie, a dose of communist russian silent film, and two giant steaming piles of racist musical (he made us watch it twice) lately has made me want to hurt myself, or preferably the professor, with pointy things. So I skipped. And did nothing all afternoon.

So I just d/led firefox. And am blogging from it. Wheeee. Now I have three browsers on the computer. IE, and Netscape are the other ones. I tried deleting netscape once, and it deleted all my AIM info too, so instead of figuring a way around it, I still have netscape. Am hoping to delete IE if things work out with firefox, though.

D/led it for future adware blocking purposes. Of course, I still have a lot of the old batch of adware on here still. But I found the prospect of d/ling a new browser more fun than the prospect of rooting all the progs out individually and/or resorting to d/ling more spyware detecting progs that are almost as much of a pain as the actual spyware. So now I have firefox.

It's not as exciting as I thought, it's pretty much like IE. But, lack of exciting also equals lack of traumatic changes, so I'll take it.

If I told you a secret
you won't tell a soul
will you hold it and keep it alive
'cause it's burning a hole
and I can't get to sleep
and I can't live alone in this lie

"Love Will Come Through," Travis

Addendum: Not sure if blogger's being cranky tonight, but it does seem to be giving firefox problems. Not good...

So... I came out. I actually told someone I know in real life about my blog. It's kind of scary for me, but she actually mentioned maybe getting a blog sometime, and she's about the least judgemental person I know, so I did it, I brought it up. This is my high school friend I've been hanging out with lately, by the way. And if you are indeed reading this, that's how I usually refer to you (not sure why I didn't come up with a swanky psuedonym for you, I'm usually all about the pseudonyms) if you want to go back and look for places where you're mentioned, which is totally what I would do if I were you.

Anyway, I think it's about time I change the name to this blog. I know I've been disatisfied with it since.... like a month after I picked it in the first place. But this time I was actively embarassed to be like, "Uh, yeah. It's the Angry White Girl Blog." Because it sounds so stupid to me now. But I keep not changing it because if I change it, I know I'll get tired of that name too. So am trying to decide whether to 1) stick with it even though I hate it, 2) switch back to Hastily Paraphrased, which was my name back on googlies.net. It's not as dumb, but it's kind of bland and sounds like the name of everyone else out there with a blog, or 3) come up with another name, get tired of it, and repeat the process every so often. I've been turning around "Nerds Gone Wild" in my head for awhile now, it's a quote off of a Ben Folds song, natch.

When we hung out tonight it was fun too, which it always is. We saw Taxi, which we thought was pretty funny. Though I think it's kind of a vehicle, if you don't normally like Jimmy Fallon, you probably wouldn't like it. I felt it was kind of strange, seeing it so soon after Taxi Driver, too. Because while they both have taxis, TD is very messed up and dark, whereas Taxi is light and goofy. Though I did (sadly) feel sort of a twisted identification with Jimmy's character in Taxi, as he is the only driver I've seen worse than I am. And though it was shown in a funny way, it does sort of illustrate just how humiliating it really is to be a poor driver.

Gots to go. The Best of Jimmy Fallon's on SNL! Though, actually a nascar race went long, so that's what's on. But I'm done anyway. So I'm going. Don't make this awkward.

We drive
dave steps on the gas the world is
flying by us
sleek and smooth.
Big waves of light
the radio's playin' Queen
and we're rockin' out.

--"Shoulder to the Wheel," Saves the Day

TV-10 was fun today. My reporter and I did a story on the rising gas prices and interviewed the manager at a gas station, and it turned out to be a pretty good package. Also, the chick who usually directs on Fridays was sick, so I ended up directing for her. So I had two really good packages and directed today, making me feel indispensable again. It's a good feeling.

Meet me in outer space
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up

--"Stellar," Incubus

I had a good, if long shift at TV-10 tonight. We did a piece on afterschool programs, so we went to an elementary school after school was out (the late start being why it was a long shift). We even interviewed the mayor of Normal, who was quite nice. For some reason, I've seen the mayor of Bloomington a hundred different times, but never the Normal mayor.

The kids were fun to work with, though a lot of them wanted to mug for the camera or give shout outs to their mom, which made it hard to get usable footage sometimes. This one girl we interviewed was hilarious. She was talking about all the different things they do, and was like, "Sometimes we go outside. If the weather's appropriate." And there was this one boy who totally cracked me up (this you would partly need to hear the inflection to get how hilarious it was) told one of the other kids, "I am gonna beat you up," and I thought it was so hilarious that I ended up sneaking it in there as B-roll, though you couldn't tell what he's saying unless you know already.

The best part was the standup, though. Last week when we did the standup for the story in Braden Auditorium, I did this really cool zoom in as my reporter walks over to a chair in the audience and sits down. And then the next morning when I came in* the people who looked at it were all, "That's the best standup ever! You guys do such great standups together!" so we wanted to do a really good one again. So at the outcue, where normally the reporter says, "I'm ______, TV-10 news," we had him do it in front of a whole bunch of kids, and they yelled the TV-10 news part of it. It's adorable.

I'm Phoemeister, TV-10 news.


___
* Yes, I spend way too much time at TV-10. I even saw a guy I know when I was there who apparently didn't know about my Thursday shift who, upon discovering I was there, said, "Whoa. You're here ALL the TIME. Do you live here?

We went out to the park for dinner today, they were serving hot dogs and chili, and hot cider and pumpkin spice bars at this fall thing. I love food. I really do.

We were afraid it'd be too cold and rainy, but the rain tapered off, and it got slightly warmer once the rain went away. My sister and the 'phew (as I am now calling my nephew) were even able to come, and he was adorable all dressed up in his winter gear.

Pick a flower, hold your breath, and drift away

--"Still Remains," Stone Temple Pilots

Ugh. Remember McGee? The prof I used to bitch about all the time?

Well if you don't, here's a recap: he is the worst prof I've ever had. And that's saying something. He would teach us feminism and mention that he used to work at Playboy in the same breath, he only got through two very easy chapters of material the entire semester because he was so busy blabbing about random crap, and he made us write these pointless papers and revise them 800 times and give the people he liked good grades and the people he disliked bad grades, not taking the actual quality of the paper into account whatsoever.

BUT, I was his favorite. Because I spoke up in class (just to keep myself awake during), he assumed I really loved the class or had an analytic mind or something, and he loved me.

So yesterday I hit him up for a reccommendation. We have to have a prof fill out a form evaluating our various skills as part of our application for an internship for school credit. Which, I don't need school credit, but if I don't apply for and get school credit for an internship, no one will hire me, it's something to do with insurance and accountability, they can complain to ISU if I fuck up. So anyway, I figure if McGee loves me so much, I might as well put it to use, and I e-mailed him about it.

I got this e-mail back that's all, "Oh, filling out forms is NOT my style. The only reccomendations I ever give out are 300 word letters. AND, I'm really busy right now, so I don't have time to write a 300 word letter for you. So, you get nothing at all from me, because I am a useless pimple of a man." Really. You couldn't take time to just fill out the stupid form? The reccomendation is pointless anyway! I'm a shoo in for being accepted. Both my news director and production director are happy with me, and they're ON the committee that decides this crap. I just need to get the paperwork filled out.

I know that's a huge long setup for, "Isn't he such a pretentious, good-for-nothing-bastard?" and I DID get a reccomendation from another professor, but it really bugged me, so I felt like blogging it out.


newsroom conver after TV-10 today:

Anchor: Yeah, I'm glad you've never accidently unclipped our mics. Between stories all we do is say fuck or make fun of people. Wait, can you hear what we say in the headset?
Me: No. But we have our own jokes in the control room. Only they're kind of lame because we still have to pay attention to what we're doing.

The Squishy Cylinders That Eat Like a Meal

AKA: more stupid AIM convers


Phoemeister: Did you see how smoothly Suz offered to make babies with me?
Tina: I see :-P
Phoemeister: Oh, and I didn't tell you the creepiest bit: I told him my feet were cold
Phoemeister: and he was all, "I could give you a foot massage."
Phoemeister: And I was all, "Yeah, but you live in california,"
Phoemeister: and he was all, "I'll cut my hands off and mail them to you."
Tina: no he wouldn't
Tina: couldn't abuse himself then :-P


Phoemeister: I can't wait until this semester's over and I'm graduated.
Phoemeister: Me and cylinders will have a lot more in common.
Kin: Oh-ho.
Phoemeister: You are the only one I'd risk that joke with. Because most people I know wouldn't get it. And the rest would scorn me like the crappy punmaker I am.
Kin: At first I was like, "What do car engines have to do with this?...Would she be driving more? Ooooh. Graduated cylinders."
Kin: I mean, that whole thing lasted probably less than a second, but that was the general thought process that went on there.
Phoemeister: lol.... it's alright. If you made that joke, I wouldn't get it at all. I mean, I know what a graduated cylinder is (obviously, I made that joke) but my brain just isn't flexible. I'd think "What? You're going to be round? With flat sides? Your volume will be PI R squared times your height? What?"
Kin: I wish I were a cylinder. Then I could roll places.
Phoemeister: That would be nice. Only if I rolled places, I'd want to be a non-bruisable cylinder. Because I think you could hurt yourself otherwise.
Kin: True. And you'd be a pretty squishy cylinder at that.
Phoemeister: Squishy Cylinder should be a band name.
Phoemeister: Or a kid's fruit snack.
Kin: Yes it should.
Kin: Mm...I don't know about that one.
Phoemeister: Really?
Phoemeister: I could see that.
Phoemeister: But maybe it's best if it stays a band.
Kin: Well, I can see fruit snacks being squishy cylinders, because they generally are. Or squishy...whatevers. But not being named that. Because it doesn't sound very appetizing.
Phoemeister: Hmm. You do have a point. I guess I was caught up in the being, not the name appeal.
Kin: "The Squishy Cylinders That Eat Like A Meal."

Sometimes there are a bunch of hoosiers...

AKA: all my stupid AIM convers


Pea: sorry i got distracted
Phoemeister: it's alright
Phoemeister: I got distracted too. I was writing a friend about this racist musical I saw for film class yesterday. True Story.
Pea: my friend called to tell me her bf got hit by a car
Phoemeister: Awwww
Phoemeister: how bad off is he?
Pea: he's ok, as far as they know, a few broken bones, he was trying to stop a shoplifter, the guy got in his car and he got behind the car and the guy backed up and knocked him down, ran over his head and foot
Pea: but he's doing alright, in some pain though
Phoemeister: wow
Phoemeister: I would not have the balls to do that
Pea: you know, usual stuff when you get run over i guess
Pea: yea, this dude was stealing t-shirts & underwear, how ridiculous
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: I would not run over someone just to get free undies.
Phoemeister: And if I were driven to steal, I think I'd pick something expensive, at least
Pea: one would think
Pea: but this WAS at Walmart
Phoemeister: ha
Phoemeister: Yeah, I would not go down for ripping off walmart
Phoemeister: I would at least have the class to shoplift from Target.
Phoemeister: Or Targe-ay, as I call it when I'm trying to be french.
Pea: probably it was some hoosier that didn't want to do laundry
Phoemeister: lol... yeah. Was this in indiana?
Phoemeister: (trying to get the hoosier reference)
Pea: no, here in good ol' Illinois, but it's southern IL so...
Pea: sometimes there are a bunch of hoosiers
Phoemeister: lol, ah
Phoemeister: I'll take your word
Phoemeister: I'm a poor, sheltered central illinoian



suz: I like greenday, I want to know them and hang out and bullshit
Phoemeister: Yeah... there are some bands like that. Where I just am like, "We could be best friends if they only knew me! I could totally hang out with Greenday!" Or whatever band I'm thinking about at the time.
suz: another band I would hang out with is foo fighters
suz: and the cure, maybe
Phoemeister: dude, I would totally hang out with the Foo Fighters. Only that would be a little more complicated, because I want Dave Grohl in the biblical sense, and it might get awkward if he isn't hot for me back.
Phoemeister: I don't really like the cure. I've liked a couple of their songs other people do as covers, but robert smith's voice is just so whiney
suz: i whine alot, I dont mind it
Phoemeister: Whereas I am not particularly attracted to anyone in Greenday.
Phoemeister: Well, there's a difference between whining and whiney. I just meant his voice gets on my nerves.
Phoemeister: See, the covers are still whining, but with a different voice, less whiney.
suz: billie and mike are kinda hot, although I think I have a better chance with billie, you know he kisses at least one guy at ever gig?
Phoemeister: Well, they're alright. I don't think they're ugly. I just reaaaaaally want Dave Grohl to have my babies.
Phoemeister: And no, I did not.
suz: O
suz: heh
Phoemeister: Don't you think little Phoe/Dave Grohl babies would be cute?
suz: heh
suz: not as cute as Phoe/Suz babies :p ;-)
Phoemeister: hmmm
Phoemeister: Maybe if you learned how to play the drums.

Wow. Am impressed by the outpouring of love towards my poor, adware infected computer.

I'm a little reluctant to download some of the spyware progs, since I already have one and it pretty much amounted to a hill of beans against this particular batch of stuff. I might end up, though. The do-it-myself method isn't yielding a whole lot of gains either.

Firefox does sound like a good idea. ...once I get off of my lazy ass and do it. If I couldn't get on the 'rents computer to go online all the time, I would probably be more motivated to clean up my own, but as it is.... I'm lazy.

Found her out in a field
about a mile from here
her face was warm from the sun
but her body was cold
I heard a police man say just another overdose
just another overdose

--"Heroin Girl," Everclear

After I gave up on the adware safari (for now) I have found myself aimless on the internet for the first time in awhile. Hence the many posts in this short of time. Remember when I had cable internet, and I'd post at the drop of a dime because I'd have nothing better to do, and it didn't tie up the phone or anything?

Whatever.

Anyway, I've decided I have a colitis theme song. You know that song, Prayer, by Disturbed? Well, if you don't it's sort of an angry at god sort of song. Anyway, the chorus very much reminds me of colitis, and the anger I have that goes along with having it.

Let me enlighten you
this is the way I pray:
living just isn't hard enough
burn me alive inside
living my life's not hard enough
take everything away

--"Prayer," Disturbed

Grrr.... trying to get rid of my adware is sucking majorly. Basically, I decided to hit alt/control/delete ahnd write down every program running, search them out individually on google, read up on whether it's adware or something that's supposed to be there, and manually delete all the ones that are not supposed to be there.

The problem: all these sites are like, "Well, really ___ is a program that it will totally wreck your computer to get rid of. On the other hand, those bastard adware people WILL sometimes make programs with the exact name. You better d/l OUR adware prog to see." Gee. THANKS FOR NOT SOLVING MY DILLEMA, buddy.

There was a time you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

--"Hallelujah," Rufus Wainwright

Isn't it weird how you can not hear a song in a really long time, and you thought it was alright but nothing special, then you hear it again, and it's like, "Wow! This song is great!"?

Anyway, I was listening to some of my mom's oldies, she's only got a bazillion compilation albums full of random hits.

Oh, also, I decided that backup singers RULE. I'd thought it for a long time anyway, but it was reinforced today when I was doing that. Also, I decided that I am going to teach myself piano using Three Dog Night's "Black and White." Which, I never am. And I don't know why I thought that. But I did.

Brandy, you're a fine girl
(you're a fine girl!)
What a good wife you would be
(such a fine girl!)
But my life, my love, and my lady is the sea
(do do do do, do do do do)

--"Brandy," I forget who does it.

Scar Tissue wasn't really that great. I mean, the writing style is okay (not quite sure how much of it is Anthony & how much of it is the guy who has some co-writing credits on there) though he is fond of overusing a couple phrases and making tons of hippie references to like, mother earth and everything.

And I knew the book would be heavy on the sex, drugs, & Rock 'n' Roll. But it is WAY heavier on the first two than the last one. I mean, there are bits of the book that deal a lot more with the band than others. You get some of the references in the songs, and how the band got together and the revolving door lineup. And there are some occaisional interesting glimpses into the man himself's life. But the book as a whole is way more preoccupied with drugs.

Which, I can see why he goes on about it. He and the RHCP were notorious drug users, it'd be more out of place if he didn't mention any of it. And I can see why it would be helpful for anyone who has a drug problem to read this book. And I can see why he wants to illustrate how torturous the road to sobriety was for him. But it's torturous just to read about his road to sobriety. Since the nature of his journey, similar to a lot of drug addicts, was to relapse 80 million times before getting clean for (hopefully) good, it's horrible reading. "I had this relapse. Then I sobered up. Then I had that relapse. Then I sobered up. Then I had another relapse...." ad nauseum. You begin to wonder if the dude will ever sober up for good and get onto some other topic.

The sex bits were just mostly boring. And again, fairly repetative. I can see why he mentioned his long term relationships, but some of the one night stands, I wanted to be like, "Okay. I get it. You're a rock star. You get a lot of tail. Move on."

The last problem I had was that I really didn't get into the Chili Peppers until Californication. Honestly, if I'd never heard of them before and you gave me some of their early work and were like, "You're going to love these guys someday," I'd think you were the high one. Except for anomalies like "Under the Bridge," I really wasn't a fan. So I was really waiting for that part of the book.

Which, some of the Californication stuff was interesting, about rebuilding the band after getting John back. But he never really explains why the band changed so much. And lets drugs and another girlfriend overshadow that part of the book. And the newest album, By the Way, my absolute favorite: barely mentioned. Obviously, he felt that his life story kind of lost dramatic focus after all the drug conflict was over. So it was kind of... "Yeah, after Californication I finally realized the true way to sober up was to work at it and help others, I got a dog, I dumped my girlfriend, we put out another album called By The Way and I've been sober for 4 years now. The end."

By the way I tried to say I know you
from before

--"By the Way," RHCP

Wow. I have had a great day today.

It didn't start out good... My reporter and I went to this groundbreaking ceremony for a new building at Heartland Community College. Unfortunately, it was raining buckets. In addition, the people in charge of the event were really mean to us (it's weird how much variation there is in how people treat us. The lady another reporter and I interviewed last night for another story was SO nice to us). First off, they wouldn't give my reporter an interview for a soundbite, then I was like, "Well, it's okay. I'll put a mic stand up on the podium and we can at least get a soundbite from the actual speech." But they wouldn't even let us do that, because they thought it would look bad. Okay, how? All these things always let the reporters put a mic up. Why would this be different?

But eventually we did badger someone into letting us interview them, so it turned out alright. In fact, even though I was extremely rushed (the ceremony didn't start till 11, and our show is at 12) it turned out really good, something I think I might put on my resume tape that I can be very proud of. Also funny: there was a guy there that was a dead ringer for Rev. Al Sharpton. In fact, I really mistook him for Sharpton at first. He has the hair, the 'stache, the portly figure, and facial features of the Rev. So for the whole time while we were standing around waiting for it to start we kept calling him fake rev. And I made sure to get him in the story as B-roll, for my own personal amusement.*

Also, though I did not crew the newscast today, I was really excited because of how much of my stuff got on today. I had a package I did last night about the preparations for the University President being inaugurated today, which was the lead story. Then, the second story they showed was the Heartland bit I did this morning. I also shot (last night) and put together (this morning) a VO/SOT about this guy running for Congress that visited our university yesterday. I editted a VO/SOT on the governor's prescription plan this morning, and a VO about a shooting that occured in our town last night this morning. So basically the first block was 90% editted by me, which I thought was awesome.

Then I met my Mom at Barnes & Noble, and we had lunch and went book shopping. It was wonderful, on the way there the radio played nothing but AWESOME songs, which doesn't happen very often, considering how picky I am. It was like icing on the cake of a really happy mood. At the book store I also had a great time. Usually I just camp out in the fantasy/sci-fi section, but today I wanted to find the biographies because I was interested in Scar Tissue (autobiography of Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I saw him on Late Night a couple days ago promoting it, and it sounded pretty good). I asked where the section was (it used to be by the toilets, but they moved it) and the people at the desk totally went and found it for me. And the guy all told me that Dave Navarro also has one out right now (which, I'm not really interested in him, but I thought it was really nice of this guy to mention it in case I was interested, even if it is to turn a profit). I actually wasn't going to buy it today, but between the discounts they had on it because it's being promoted right now, and the fact that my mom gave me one of her gift certificates from having that one discount card, I actually ended up getting it + 2 paperback fantasy novels I wanted for cheaper than the nominal full price of Scar Tissue. So that was a good time too.

___
* Okay... I don't know if I've ever took the time to define all this stuff before, but here is a couple TV news terms I use all the time:

B-Roll: In a package, when the reporter who went to the event has a voiceover, it's the footage being shown at the same time.

Package: pre-editted story. Has a voiceover by the reporter, soundbites of people interviewed, and sometimes a standup. A standup is basically the actual reporter being shown on camera.

VO: All B-Roll, only instead of having the reporter at the event who wrote the story speaking, it is the anchors in studio talking over the footage. The footage is pre-editted, but the anchors are speaking live.

VO/SOT: a VO, but with a soundbite at the end. So the anchors read over footage, and then there's a soundbite of someone interviewed speaking. Then there can be more b roll & talking, or back to studio, depending on how much footage there is.

Block: segments of the show, the divisions between them being our PSA breaks (we can't have proper ads because it's not allowed on public access television). Typically, the first block is usually local news, second block is national news and weather, fourth is entertainment, ag, or health report, fourth is sports, fifth is a kicker.

Kicker: Happy news story they do at the end of news shows, to close out on a positive note. The reindeer story I shot at the zoo a few weeks ago, for instance, was a kicker.

Dear bus driver,

I realize that I was not standing at the exact spot that the bus stop sign is. I also realize that driving around college students all day is not the funnest thing in the world. But did you really have to give me an angry 5 minute lecture about it when I got on the bus? All I really wanted was to get on your bus and quietly listen to my headphones while being transported to the parking lot where my car is, but I couldn't, because I didn't want to look like a jerk for not listening while you belittled me. Honestly, it was the last bus, and I if I was thinking about it, I'd have known you would've stopped at the proper stopping place, and made my way there with dignity instead of yelling "hey!" and running after the bus, but I prematurely freaked out. If you really felt you HAD to say something about it, you could've at least been brief and polite about it. But you really didn't need to work me over like that. It totally wrecked the good mood I was in up until then today.

--Phoe

I think I'm going to stop saying "anyway," as much. I've noticed I've way overused it for a long time, but my problem is I don't have any good segues. So I feel I need to put something a little segue-esque when I jump around on topics, or else it all falls apart.

Speaking of jumping around on topics, I'm gonna do it again (whoo! Way to segue, me!) I just noticed Cake's coming out with a new album. I really think I'm going to pass on it, despite the terrible temptation, though. Because when you look at Cake over the years: they do the same things over and over. And owning 3 albums of Cake doing the same things over and over seems like enough. I really had a hard time getting into most of Comfort Eagle, even.

Speaking of music (ugh... I think "speaking of" is going to be the thing I have to ban in a second) I had a horrible time getting to sleep last night. Wow... poor segue. But this bit does get music related after awhile. I couldn't sleep for the life of me, so after awhile I started listening to some of my music. Only instead of picking sleepy CD's (which... the 2 that have been working best for me lately are a Lifehouse CD and a Marcy Playground CD, but I felt I had been wearing out MP lately, and I couldn't find the Lifehouse one) I just picked whatever I felt like, which was not sleepy, which did not help me sleep. I went from The Bens to Ben Kweller to King Adora to Chevelle. Who listens to Chevelle when they want to sleep? Me, aparently. And sometimes weird things do get me sleeping, Blink 182, MXPX, and Greenday have all been quite good at the sleep-making for me at various times. Which, I didn't listen to them either because I didn't feel like it, dammit! Then I was like, "I can't do this anymore!" and tried a go without music. All in all it was 5 a.m. before I fell asleep. And THEN the phone woke me up early and I couldn't get back to sleep, which is why I have the spare time to write senseless rants such as this before class.

In other news, I spoke to my high school friend again lately. She is still the best:

Her: So I got a job at a nursing home.
Me: Cool. What do you do?
Her: Arrange activities and stuff.
Me: ......bingo??? Awesome.
Her: Yeah. But my boss, she told me to watch out. Because sometimes they get too excited and start cursing and throwing their canes around. It's pretty hardcore over there.
Me: Very hardcore.
Her: Extremely hardcore.


I'm bionic!
You're bionic!
I'm bionic!

--"Bionic," King Adora

I think Ben Folds is going to be my Neil Diamond. See, my mom just loves Neil Diamond. And has everything the dude's ever recorded. And will go on these Neil Diamond marathons where she plays him four hours on end.

Which, I find myself doing that all the time with Ben now. But at least Ben has the major benefit of actually writing new songs. I'd be surprised if Neil has more than 3 albums of original music. It's like during the 60's, he just quit making up anything new and continually puts out records of covers or of his previous work. Which my mom buys. So while she has a lot of different albums of his, a marathon would include all his hits 3 times at least. So I've kind of got the psychoness, but not as bad. I hope. And who knows, I might get tired of him anyway. Every band I'm really huge into I get kind of tired of after awhile.

And maybe it's just that Ben's the only one I have enough albums of to have a real marathon. The only bands I even come close on in having that much of are Blink 182 (who I love but are not marathony as all their songs are the same after awhile), Saves The Day (which, I don't know why I don't with them), and the Foo Fighters (which I used to love but am a little more lukewarm on lately).

I leave you with this conver that has nothing to do with the above:

Phoemeister: You are very TLC in that you're crazy, sexy, and cool.
Phoemeister: Only 1 third of you isn't dead.
Phoemeister: At least I hope not.
Suibrom: hehe
Sui: hahah
Sui: Only the good parts ;P
Phoemeister: but if 1 third of you is, I hope it's the part that raps and no one cares.
Sui: haha
Sui: oddly enough it's my left eye ;-)
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Sui: heheh ; )
Phoemeister: that was so cheesy, but good
Sui: hahah
Sui: well I know you like the cheese

So... I am the worst liar of all time. I was complaining about how cold it was waiting in line for the concert etc. and my mom totally could tell I went alone, and was like, "You went alone, didn't you?" and I had to admit it, because lying about whether or not I'm lying is something I'm even more horrible at than straight out lies. Fortunately, she wasn't too angry.

In other news, I talked to my news director about internships today. See, I had been trying to get one on my own since last semester, and it didn't work too swell. The production director (as I am a production student) was supposed to help me out with it, but 1) he was rather apathetic about it when I first asked him and 2) I never really pushed him on it afterwards because I hate trying to talk to him about things because he's extremely moody and you never know if you're going to get happy P.D. or angry P.D. when you ask him something.

But it sort of came up with my News Director at IBA, only she didn't have time to discuss then. So I did talk to her about it today, and it sounds like if she talks to one of the Peoria stations for me I pretty much have an internship in the bag. Which is kickass and takes a lot of stress off of my shoulders. Also she said she'd look out for a floor director job (pretty much the entry level position in most TV stations) for me too, so that I could earn a little money (internships are unpaid) on the side while getting even more precious experience on the ol' resume.

I was also in a fabulous mood after this talk because she was so complimentary to me about how easy it would be to find an internship for someone whose photographic skillz and attitude are as good as mine. The photographic skillz are partly because I've been there longer than most people, but it's still nice to know that doing the time has increased the skillz. Hearing that I have a good attitude is also hugely pleasing, as I often worry whether I have the proper perky attitude people seem to want. I got let go from my last job almost as much for my attitude as for taking illicit pee breaks. True Story.

I thought about..... your mommy.

Ben Folds roooolz! I mean, I don't have that many concerts to compare it with, having only been to two prior, but I'm really not a concert person. I think for me to even slightly get into one, it has to be someone that I love already being pretty friggin' awesome.

Anyway, he was friggin' awesome. His hands on the piano were like a blur most of the time. And the little anecdotes in between songs were hilarious. He was even cool enough to come up with a little song about Bloomington-Normal. It was mostly about State Farm (the corporate office is here, they're the biggest employer in this town, my sister works for them and my dad used to). I can't really remember how it goes (which makes me sad) but it starts out with, "We know you fucked up..." so you know it has to be good. And he said it was the gym with the best acoustics he ever played at *wink wink*

Which, I would've been pretty pissed if the concert wasn't that great, because I had to stand outside 45 minutes in the freezing cold, endure the opening act*, and then sit on those damn bleachers another half hour between.

Also, I think I got a lot more out of it than most of the people near me**. I think they'd only heard a couple of songs from Rockin' The Suburbs, but he also played stuff from all the Ben Folds Five albums, all the EP's, stuff I don't think he's ever really released, and stuff he said was going to be released on a new album soon. Which it all was pretty awesome, so I know I'm probably going to end up buying the new album when it comes out.

It's also weird how many strange memories I have associated with Ben Folds songs. Honestly, during the concert I realized that both Carrying Cathy and Not The Same now remind me of the days I spent in the hospital after my gallbladder surgery. I had a CD player with me, and a buttload of CD's in the hospital. But those bastards would move everything out of my reach when they'd come to take my blood pressure for the nine hundredth time, and I wouldn't be able to reach my other CD's, so I'd be stuck with one CD for hours and hours, total time depending on how soon my parents would visit and put things back for me (there was a TV in the room, but it sucked and I didn't have my contacts in anyway, so I pretty much just listened to my CD's). Anyway, I got stuck listening to Rockin' The Suburbs for eight hours (I am actually not exaggerating here). Which is a little much even for me. Anyway, I hadn't previously loved Carrying Cathy (though I thought it was alright before). But for the sake of repeating the CD less, I listened to it all over and over, including songs like CC that I usually skip about half the time, and I decided I loved it all of a sudden.

Not The Same I had previously loved, but what reminds me of it is the fact that I fell asleep during one of these many repetitions of the album, and I had these really freaky dreams in the hospital (I was halfway crazy by the time I got out of the hospital. I remember one of these dreams was I was stuck in this messed up movie with Maculay Culkin and Michael Jackson) and I woke up during "Not the Same," which is kind of a weird song, and it just DOUBLY freaked me out, and I almost hurt the woman who woke me up (to take my blood pressure the nine hundredth and one time).

So anyway: Ben puts on a good show.
____
* The opening act wasn't that bad, only there wasn't one advertised, so everyone was angry with her. In addition, no one had ever heard of her. But the biggest reason it was such a pain was since everyone decided to be jerks and talk over her set, you couldn't even hear her properly, so it was just like sitting around on painful bleachers listening to the annoying people next to me talk.

** Some IWU students that didn't even know who Ben was at all came, because apparently they got to come for free. How come ISU never holds a concert and lets students in for free? Bogus.

Grrr... Why does society make us (or at least me) feel bad for going out places alone?

Today I mentioned to my Mom that I was going to go see Ben Folds, and her automatic response? "Who're you going with?"

Instead of being like, "Alone," I said "a couple of people from TV-10." Vague enough that even with my terrible lying skills I thought I could get away with it. The truth is though I've gained aquaintancy with most people there, none of them are really friends. And of the ones I do know well enough to know music preference, Ben Folds has never come up. And the only people I know outside of TV-10 are 2 friends from high school. Neither of which are into Ben.

But really, what is wrong about going to a concert by myself? And what's wrong about going to a restaurant by yourself either? I went to Pizza Hut last week alone on a whim, and though it might've been my imagination, it felt really awkward. I know I need more friends, but it's not like I haven't been trying the last four years. What's so darn wrong with eating out alone once in awhile in the meantime?

Did I make me up?
Or make this face till it stuck?
I do the best imitation of myself.

--"Best Imitation of Myself," Ben Folds Five

Oh, there was a conversation from IBA I forgot to mention that I wanted to. It proves that this one prof who was there that I had for radio production class a couple years ago is the coolest professor ever.

Prof: Hey Phoe, how's it going?
Me: I'm pretty good. You?
Prof: Just chillin'
Me: Like a villain?
Prof: *nods* Like a villain. Always.

Also: my legs hurt from the horrible chairs at the Radisson Conference center where IBA was held. Booo painful chairs.

There was no party, there were no songs
'Cause today's just a day like the day that he started
No one is left here that knows his first name
And life barrels on like a runaway train
Where the passengers change
They don't change anything
You get off; someone else can get on

--"Fred Jones Part II," Ben Folds (heh, notice the theme lately? I'm gearing up for the concert on monday. Woo!)

Oh, I did forget to blog something great that happened to me last night.

I'm not really a baby person. I mean, my mom or dad could be in a room and a total stranger's baby comes in, and they light up, that's how much they love babies. Whereas I'm not exactly sure where my maternal instinct went or if I have one at all. Usually when babies do something "cute," I usually think it's pretty lame. I've tried to get into being an aunt, but most of the time find it a bit of a disappintment and resign myself to waiting until he gets old enough to do something besides constantly vomit on himself before expecting much.

But I got him to smile last night while I was holding him, it was the first time I'd seen him do it up close, and the first time he did it because of something I did. And my heart just went whooosh with love for him. Isn't it weird how simple our expectations are for babies? I wish I still had the power to make someone's heart do that because of my smile.

I've spent most of today at IBA (Illinois Broadcasting Association). I really wish I were better at kissing ass and getting people to want to offer me fabulous jobs, events like this would probably be a lot more fun and/or productive for me. As it is, I mainly handed out resumes, tried to chat up a program director from Decatur and some woman from an educational cooperative, and ate a really bad buffet lunch. There wasn't even any meat. What is that? I ended up eating breadsticks and shredded cheese.

I thought a lot about the Army
Dad said, "Son, you're fuckin' high!"
and I thought yeah, there's a first for everything
so I took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand
spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead.

--"Army," Ben Folds Five