***if you don't like bestiality jokes or do not want to know what chimpanzee balls weigh, do not read the following conversation***

This guy was harrassing my friend on AIM and asking her the oldest guy she's ever shagged, or whether or not she sleeps in the nude etc. etc., so I IMed him.

me: I sleep nude.
Ukyid: ok
me too
me: My pet monkeys keep me warm.
me: Do you like monkeys?
Ukyid: yes
me: are you into monkeys?
Ukyid: no
me: too bad
Ukyid: oh well
u have a pic?
me: yea. I have lots of pictures of my monkeys
Ukyid: and of u?
me: Pictures of me WITH my mokeys
me: monkeys, even
Ukyid: ok
me: Don't monkeys smell so good?
me: Just thinking of monkeys gets me hot
Ukyid: ok
byeeee
me: What?
me: what did I say?
Ukyid: that monkeys get u hot
Ukyid: send me yr pic
me: Do you know that gorilla testes weigh 1 ounce, while chimpanzee testes are an enormous four ounce weight? (I SWEAR I learned this in anthro yesterday, the prof took an entire half-hour to tell us about monkey genitalia. Male monkey genitalia :-/)
Ukyid: no
thanks for the info
me: Yea. I hope to own a chimpanzee someday.
Ukyid: r u a virgin
me: .....with humans
Ukyid: ?????????
me: Well, it depends on your definition of sex. Is it the Clinton definition?
Ukyid: yes
me: Does it count with certain primates?
Ukyid: no
me: then yes, I am
Ukyid: u have had oral sex
me: Does oral sex with certain primates count?
me: What about armadillos?
me: I guess I'd have to say I've had about 12 oral sex encounters with lemurs, 1 with this gibbon (it didn't turn out well though), 1 with an armadillo but the shell chafed, and I gave this pity blow job to this dude from El Paso once.

Then he blocked me. Most of the times when I put up conversations like this, I change the name so that anyone who reads this page can't IM them and screw with their head as well, but if you feel inclined to IM this guy saying that dolphins get you off, or that you're so hairy you need to sleep in the nude because all that hair makes you too hot for clothes, be my guest, because I left his SN exactly as is on there.

P.S. if you do mess with his head, post the log in my comments so I can have a good laugh.