Well, I've been experimenting with makeup lately. I've actually worn it some last week, and this week. I've decided I like it, despite my initial dislike. Before, I felt like I was wearing it for others, now I feel like I'm wearing it for myself. And I am quite vain. I'll look at myself in the mirror constantly now.

Today's not so good, though. I experimented with this navy blue eyeliner. I don't think I'm up to that yet. My left eye looks alright, if a bit slutty, but my right eye looks like a little kid experimented with their grown up slutty sister's eyeliner. And I tried to add mascara to fix my mistakes, but it kinda only made it look worse.

I don't think I'm going to the Sept. 11 remembrance thing on the quad today. I'd rather reflect and come to terms with it on my own than go to some dumb mass rally where we "show the world how we're banding together." It's so fake.

And I know I look like a jerk, "Oh, and here's how my makeup is today. I think it's a bit slutty. Blah blah blah. Oh, by the way, Sept 11......" but I debated long and hard about whether or not I was even going to include anything about it today. I'm so sick of hearing about it from other people. I mean, I like hearing about it from Dubya, and other people in charge, or people who have information about the contexts of the situation, but I'm sick of every damn reporter talking about it just so that they can look sensitive and make people like them because they care. I'm sick of people like me talking about it, too. Sure, it affects me and the other regular people, but it somehow degrades the actual victims'/families of victims pain, in my opinion, to say, "well here, this is how I feel about it." It's my diary to do what I please with, but I feel so show offy saying how I feel about the attacks. That's why, though I started this blog pretty soon after it last year, I didn't say anything about it originally. Because again, everyone was saying how they feel, and I figured, "who needs one more dumb 'this is how I feel about it' post?"

So I find myself here on the anniversary talking about 9/11, and how people shouldn't talk about 9/11 like the stupid hypocrite that I am.