To work through my day backwards:

I left my headlights on all day at work so my battery was dead. El Camino had to help me jump my car. It scared me a little, this was the first jumping experience I had where the other person did not know what they were doing. And I easily believe that something's going to blow up and kill us so I stand back and make the other person do the work.

Speaking of El Camino, he told me about a hilarious book we have in the children's section called "My Daddy's Roommate." I highly suggest you check it out too if you are in the mood for hilarity. Yes, we have a couple of pretty funny/weird gay books in the kid's section (Such as "And Tango Makes Three," which is about two gay penguins that adopt a penguin baby), and yes the section "My Daddy's Roommate" is in is unmitigatedly disturbing (the "family issues" section has books like, "why does daddy drink?" "why does mama yell all the time?" and "why isn't grandma here anymore?" are a few actual titles) but this takes it to a whole new level.

First off, the illustrations are hilarious. The family's at the beach and they have this sleazy picture of the men rubbing suntan lotion on each other! Even the non sleazy pictures are pretty funny, though. I also find it kind of amusing that the "roommate" the dad leaves the mom for has a receding hairline. I wonder if the artist threw it in to be more real or what.

Secondly, with my dirty mind, the words are easily twisted too. "My daddy's roommate and I do a lot of things together too!" is just creepy. And there IS a line that is like, "They even sleep together!" and you're like..... okay, dude who wrote this, you do know even kids know that "sleeping together" is a euphemism for having sex? Do you really want to open that can of worms? Or do you want to make a sequel to this called, "My Daddy's Roommate Part II: How to Get Around the Fact That Neither of You Has a Vagina."

Far and away the best part, though, is the part of the book where the mom tells the kid the dad and the roommate are gay. Basically like, the kid doesn't know what gay is and the mom explains it and is like, "they are two men who love each other and love is always right!" or somesuch. Man, that woman must be taking a thousand valium. I think any woman who has a husband that leaves her to go and be gay would be a lot more bitter about this whole situation, but apparently not.

Other than that work was fairly uneventful.

Before that I went to lunch with Optpri at some place called the Rock where they sell gyros but of course I wanted no part of that and got a ginormous hot dog, which was pretty good. Optpri, of course, made the obvious penis joke, and hilarity ensued. We made it part of our BJ's for Taco's equation. I also helped her do some clothes shopping, which was quite novel for me, since she sincerely wanted the ugliest possible shirt in the place. She was quite happy when she finally arrived at one that made me tell her, "If I saw you on the street wearing that I would punch you in the face." The TJ Maxx sales associate laughed at that statement, and I was glad she was not horrified that I managed to work in violence and a put down of the merchandise at her store all in one sentence. The other nice thing about shopping with Optpri is that it is fast. I like that in a friend, seeing as how the last big, friendship-ending arguement I had with someone was basically because she dragged me around to 8 stores and had to try on 80 things in each.

I woke up.