(warning: long insane rant about crazy family follows)

Well... I think that dream was a premonition. Not of all the crazy stuff literally happening, but more trouble with Grandpa's new girlfriend & my mom.

My aunt called up my sister wanted to see if the girlfriend could come down with her to my sister's baby shower (so she has someone to drive down with).

Of course, my mom who already resents the woman, does not want her coming. And she's further enraged by them calling my sister and not her ("They're trying to sidestep me!") though my sister obviously called up and asked Mom about it.

I myself don't think it would be that big of a deal to bother with the woman. It's not like Mom personally has to hang out with her, the aunt would. But she's been off the deep end about it. And how she can never have a GOOD event, citing specific events.

I.E. 1. Grandma herself messed up my sister's wedding, she had major health problems. And not only that, she was a little bit of a jerk about it. Which... I really can't blame her. Before she died she had several years of being hospitalized all the time and throwing up all the time and taking tests that (having a similar disease I know from experience) are worse than the actual problem. I'm not exaggerating--literally worse. I would rather have my 1 or 2 normal 10 minute long blindingly painful bowel movements than take 6 cups of laxative mixed with fruit juice that doesn't cover the taste enough for me to not constantly be gagging and afraid that it's all going to come up and I'm going to have to start over again, then having that fruit juice shoot out my butt for 24 hours afterwards then having a scope put up there.

Stuff like this also makes me wonder why mom seems so fiercely loyal about grandma now that she's dead. When she was alive, she fully bitched about grandma (both recent incidents AND stuff from when she was growing up) as often as I bitch about her. I'm a horrible, horrible person, but I wasn't that sad when she died. Not only was it actually probably kind of a relief for her after all the health problems, but I mostly have bad memories of her saying horribly mean things to me ever since I got old enough not to be cute anymore. Not that I have many memories of her at all, since she hardly ever visited. My mom keeps going on about how she's going to miss the birth of her first great-grandchild. I was like, "Hey, my cousin has a kid." And my mom's like, "That kid was illegitimate, so she has never recognized it." That's a horrible attitude! I know you can miss someone even if they aren't nice, especially if they might've used to be nice, but do you really pine away for someone like that? When grandma died this line from a Ben Folds Five song, "She said I'd feel sorry but the truth of it is/that I feel guilty for not giving a shit," just kept going over and over in my mind because it was exactly how I felt about it. I'm glad grandpa's found someone nice.

2) my aunt ruined my sister's wedding shower by showing up. I didn't know this at the time, because it was a perfectly okay wedding shower. I myself was a liiitle miffed because I was the Maid of Honor and it was my job, and I wanted to do it really badly because my sister hadn't really let me do anything else because she's the type that has to do things herself. Anyway, my mom, the aunt, the mother in law to be.... all were kind of butting in because they thought that I didn't know how to do anything, and it cheesed me off. But once we actually had it, it was alright. Anyway, this makes me think, "Maybe if you didn't irrationally hate so many people, so many things wouldn't be ruined for you!" Because she does hate the aunt because the aunt is my uncle's second wife and they kind of hooked up before he was fully divorced from his first one, and she's catholic which my mom doesn't like for some reason. But anyway, my mom hates my sister's mother in law too, for no real reason, so she feels like they ruined my sister's graduation for her (they both threw the party since her and my brother in law graduated at the same time) because she forgot to offer for us to take home some of the cake we half paid for.

Lastly.... come on, the baby shower isn't (nor was the wedding shower) a paramount occaision. It's an excuse to get gifts! The actual wedding, the actual birth of the baby--important life moments. Showers--excuses to get presents. Which--I'm not downing showers. People starting a life together or having a baby need to buy a lot of crap, and this sort of lifts their burden. But a total snoozefest for everyone else involved, and not even a life-changing occaision for the one getting the gifts.

I had a whacked out dream last night, and I can't even remember all of it. Still.... the main gist of it was my Grandma, who's been dead a bit over a year now, was actually alive. Like.... they'd buried her because they thought she was dead, but she wasn't, and now she came back and got a divorce from grandpa because he'd gotten a girlfriend because he'd thought she was dead. And I remember thinking very clearly at one point, "Wow.... this is like my mom's soap opera with the midget. I HAVE to blog this." Which I still find it bloggable even though now I realize it's a dream.

And AWESOME! I just got my grades back while I was typing this. Straight A's! The second time EVER! AND I was only expecting an A for one of my grades (the internship). Go me!

I've had Tenacious D's "Tribute," in my head for over a week. I am not kidding. And I don't know why.

Yes, I have it on my computer, and I listen to it while I'm on the computer, which is a certain amount of the time, but I have plenty of other songs on the playlist and they're NEVER in my head. Nothing else is. Just Tribute. Maybe it's the greatest song in the world, alright, the best motherfuckin song in the world, the greatest song in the world. Or maybe it's just a tribute.

.....my babblings get more and more incoherent every day.

Well.... I'm so lazy. I keep thinking of applying for a summer job but then not doing it. The thing is I hate the idea of filling out the forms and going to interviews way more than I actually hate the idea of getting my lazy ass up and doing something. In fact, I think I'd kind of like getting out of the house and interacting with people, if only as a supermarket checker or something.

What I have been doing? Some cleaning of the room.

Lots of sleep.

Lots of Might & Magic 7. I started it last summer and got to the very end, right before the last quest, and quit until now, when I finished it. Then I decided I wanted to go back and start over playing it evil (at one point in the game you get to pick whether you're good or evil) and maybe with different classes. The funny thing is I started MM6 yeeeeeears ago, like when I was still in high school, and I did the same "right before the last quest" thing. And I still haven't finished it, because that last quest is so damn hard and I get killed every time I try, even after spending days and days at a time beefing up my party more.

Lastly, re-reading the Wrinkle in Time books, like I mentioned. Not all of them.... I think I got rid of the ones I didn't like (mostly the ones where the main char is one of Meg's kids, or where L'Engle departs from SF/fantasy). Of the four books I did read, Wrinkle in Time itself is actually my least favorite, I found. All of the books work better when you're younger and don't think to pick at the niggling details that don't quite come together, but Wrinkle in Time seems to have the most of those. But really(in all the books), I did notice things like:

--In wrinkle in time, Calvin does NOTHING but provide ego massage for Meg's low self esteem. There is NO reason for the people to take him along at all, he doesn't do anything or help anyone do anything, he's pointless! Not that I still don't enjoy his character. What nerdy unpopular girl with low self esteem could resist the popular, atheletic, but yet gentle and intelligent guy who hooks up with the nerdy unpopular girl with low self esteem?

--Charles Wallace is supposed to be the genius way ahead of everyone with all the powers no one else has, but of the three books he's in, he's only the one saving stuff in one of them. And in that one, he's more of an observer than actually doing things.

Yes. I am the type that does go back and re-read children's books, or even random other books I happened to particularly like.

Well, I'm finally thoroughly cleaning my room after several years, and it really needs it. It's amazing the amount of paper I've pulled out of there already.

One thing I found was a diary someone gave me for high school graduation. It has about two entries (one "this is the start of my memoirs!" entry and one, of course, about my bowels). I'm awful at keeping up diaries, I had another one before that that I would put in an entry every few years.

I think the reason I can keep up the online journal is that I hate writing, but typing is no big whoop for me. I wish I could keep a paper journal because unless there's a fire or something, it's not going to just up and disapear like electronic files. Oh well.

Ay.... blogger's got a new interface. What's up with that?

Anyhoos, after all the movies I had to watch for class, I thought it would be a relief to go without for awhile, but now I am going into withdrawal, I keep wanting to watch more than I am. Which is not that much, except the other night I saw "Wrinkle in Time," which is apparently a made for tv or straight to video version of the Madeliene L'Engle book. On one hand, it was truly crappy. A lot of the detail that drives the story is lost (stuff happens in people's minds, hard to translate to movie form) and character development is pared down to a bare minimum. I still liked it, kind of, because I could fill in the blanks on my own. It made me want to re-read the book, several of the books actually. Not all of the books though.... because some of them are strange but not in the good way the rest are.

Then tonight I rented a couple. Foolproof, which is about these people who like to come up with these elaborate schemes to rob places with hi-tech security systems, and act them out at home for the fun of it, rather than actually going and robbing anyone. One of their plans gets out, someone uses it, then the dude who did it sort of blackmails them into going along with another scheme, because of their involvement (though unwilling) with the previous. Pretty good, if you like heist movies. I also got Knock Around Guys, because it was free, which was pretty good for ANYTHING with Vin Diesel in, alright for anything else. I think it was saved by him not being the main character.

Also, I dream about movies. Last night I dreamt I went to watch Troy, only it turned out to be sort of like Love, Actually where there are several mini stories and the Troy I've seen in ads was just a small part of the actual film, the rest of it was set in modern office buildings or something.

Also, I have these freaky hives on my hands. I know I'm a hypochondriac, but they're there! My mom agrees! Except all she did was tell me to put cortaid on them, like she always tells me to. Anyway, they were just bumpy for awhile, but now I'm itching like crazy. NOT cool.

You know those stereotypes about the old people sitting around the nursing home alone while their kids and grandkids give them the brush off? I'm beginning to think it's the opposite way around.

My grandma and grandpa used to go to florida for the winter, and we're kind of on the route, so they would visit us. BUT, only for a day or two. During days I was at school. And we'd never visit them, because my mom (and hence the family) just won't travel. Anywhere. I used to beg my mom to let us go up there or ask them to stay longer, or at least come during a break or a weekend, but it would never happen.

So, somewhat over a year ago, my grandma died. And we actually started seeing my grandpa a little more often, (mom put in more of an effort to travel & he came over once for a little longer). Still not as much as I'd like.... I wanted to drive up there at one point but thanks to at one point my inexperience on the interstate and at another point wrecking my car and having no mode of transportation, that didn't pan out and he probably thinks I'm a big phony for saying I'd come and never coming. But here's the new complication: my 80 year old grandpa got a girlfriend.

So he and the girlfriend came up from Florida, and we didn't even get the perfunctory 1 or 2 day visit, because my mom resents the girlfriend and won't let her stay in our house. She made up an excuse about how dirty the house is (and it IS dirty, but she admitted to Dad and I that it was an excuse) and how she'd be embarrassed if the girlfiend stayed.

So... he said we could come up there sometime, and I was all, "that'd be great!" but my mom is all, "I don't want to go there! And see HER in my Mom's house! And her hanging all over him!" Okay, I can understand being a little weirded out.... but she's downright hostile! And the hanging all over him comment was doubly weird. I mean, they're old. They're not exactly about to start making out in front of us or something. And the lady's actually pretty nice, it's not like we've got Anna Nicole Smith on our hands, here.

So anyway, I fully expect to be deprived of interacting with my sole living grandparent until 1) I get a car (which.... I have no money) 2) he dies thus rendering the point moot, and the time is gone forever. Woo.... ain't life beautiful.

So, Bitsy finally got ahold of me, and I was right: everything from Hastily Paraphrased is gone. Forever. Well.... maybe not forever, as she has some scheme involving cached google pages. Really, I feel worse for her than me, she had a lot more things besides the blog up there, plus she was actually paying these people who, by the way, have not answered when she phoned and e-mailed, for the space, not I. Plus, by some horrible coincidence, her hard drive went off at the same time. And it's finals time.

Today I've not been up to much. I finally finished off latch-hook Tigger (from a set of three for my sister's kid. Eeyore was done long ago, and now its time for that bland straightman himself, Pooh.) I also played the Sims for like, ever, on my laptop out on the back porch, which I love the first day I can spend the whole afternoon out there on my computer or reading a book with the stereo on (because really, my idea of outdoor activity is doing indoor activities outside).


And here's a boring story I told someone over IM about "copper." Because I'm bored and I can.


Phoemeister: You'll never catch me alive, copper!
Sui: haha
Sui: dork
Phoemeister: Yeah
Phoemeister: See, my sister was putting the mineral copper on the roots of her oak tree
Phoemeister: and I started saying that
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: because I've seen too many movies from the forties lately.
Phoemeister: Coppah!
Sui: it would appear that way
Phoemeister: Then, I started doing the "you dirty rat..." spiel
Phoemeister: but it sounds more like I'm trying to do Jack Kennedy when I do that.
Phoemeister: So I started saying JFK-y things.
Phoemeister: Then I just started saying random things from tv or movies with boston accents

"Youah retahded! No you ah! Yoah wicked retahded!"
"That kid used to beat the shit out of me in kindahgahten!"
Phoemeister: True story.

Wow. I had a wiiiild dream last night. It was epic length.... but I can't remember a good lot of the beginning and middle, as I've been up for awhile and forgot. But I remember it's wiiild, and that it was another one that was sort of movielike, where half the time I'm watching what I'm in, or playing different roles.....

Anyway, at one point I get arrested for something or other, and they send me to this insane asylum. Not because they think I'm insane, but they think a good punishment for normal people is making them hang out with the crimnally insane, and that puts the criminally insane in a better mood, so it's win win for everyone except for the occaisional normal person who gets horribly murdered by the insane people.

Anyway, right before I go in to talk to the insane people (and I'm really frightened at this), the lady who arrested me, who I think has been a nemisis throughout the dream tells me that she stole these songs I wrote and gave them to Michael Jackson, and it's a black revolution! And then she hit me with a cattleprod or something.

Which, I don't think I've ever been shocked in my life, so I'm not sure what it feels like. But whatever she did to me in the dream that I thought was electricity hurt like hell, and I couldn't move any of my limbs and it was freaky. Anyway, partway through the being shocked, I finally realize it's a dream, and in my head I'm like, "wake up wake up wake up!" and I did.

So... yeah. Anyway: the final final went alright and I have most of my crap out of the dorm. It feels kind of weird to have this be the last time I go through this process.... (I am going to school one more semester but I'm going to live at home) But also a relief, because it is a pain in the asscheeks.

Here's another meme: you know the IMDB top 250 films? I've done it already, but since I've seen so many of the types of films heavily represented on the list (Japanese & classic films) this semester for class, I thought I'd do it again and compare. Only the other one I took was posted at the googlies blog. So really, I'm just taking it again.

Also, I wanted to do another thing that I've seen on a book meme going around, which is as well as bolding the ones I've seen, adding in italics for ones I've seen part of, underline for ones I want to see, and asterisks if I've seen something similar I want to mention, or read the book it's based on. Question marks are letters w/foreign accents that weren't recognized and I couldn't go through and fix all of them.

1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
6 Schindler's List (1993)
7 Seven Samurai (1954)
8 Casablanca (1942)
9 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
10 Star Wars (1977)
11 Citizen Kane (1941)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) (* read the book)
13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
14 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
15 Rear Window (1954)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Pulp Fiction (1994)
18 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
19 Memento (2000)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 12 Angry Men
22 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)
23 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
24 Psycho (1960)
25 Amelie (2001)
26 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
27 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
28 Goodfellas (1990)
29 American Beauty (1999)
30 Vertigo (1958)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Matrix, The (1999)
33 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
34 Cidade de Deus (2002)
35 Apocalypse Now (1979)
36 C'era una volta il West (1968)
37 Pianist, The (2002)
38 Third Man, The (1949)
39 Paths of Glory (1957)
40 Taxi Driver (1976)
41 Spirited Away (2001)
42 Fight Club (1999)
43 Some Like It Hot (1959)
44 Double Indemnity (1944)
45 Boot, Das (1981)
46 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
47 Chinatown (1974)
48 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
49 L.A. Confidential (1997)
50 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
51 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
52 M (1931)
53 All About Eve (1950)
54 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
55 Se7en (1995)
56 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
57 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
58 Rashomon (1950)
59 Raging Bull (1980)
60 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
61 Alien (1979)
62 American History X (1998)
63 Sting, The (1973)
64 L?on (1994)
65 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66 Vita ? bella, La (1997)
67 Manchurian Candidate, The
68 Touch of Evil (1958)
69 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
70 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
71 Finding Nemo (2003)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Great Escape, The (1963)
74 Modern Times (1936)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 Clockwork Orange, A (1971) (* read the book. Awful stuff)
77 On the Waterfront (1954)
78 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
79 Ran (1985)
80 Annie Hall
81 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
82 Jaws (1975)
83 Apartment, The (1960) 8.1/10 (8832 votes)
84 Braveheart (1995)
85 High Noon (1952)
86 Aliens (1986)
87 Fargo (1996)
88 Shining, The (1980)
89 Strangers on a Train (1951)
90 Metropolis (1927)
91 Blade Runner (1982)
92 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
93 City Lights (1931)
94 Duck Soup (1933)
95 Donnie Darko (2001)
96 Great Dictator, The (1940)
97 General, The (1927)
98 Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)
99 Princess Bride, The (1987)
100 Dogville (2003)


101 Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1989)
102 Notorious (1946)
103 Princess Mononoke (1997)
104 Rebecca (1940)
105 Full Metal Jacket (1987)
106 Toy Story 2 (1999)
107 Lola rennt (1998)
108 Big Sleep, The (1946)
109 Best Years of Our Lives, The (1946)
110 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
111 Yojimbo (1961)
112 Graduate, The (1967)
113 Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
114 Patton (1970)
115 Ladri di biciclette (1948)
116 Deer Hunter, The (1978)
117 It Happened One Night (1934)
118 Manhattan (1979) 8.0/10
119 Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
120 Forrest Gump (1994)
121 Searchers, The (1956)
122 Glory (1989)
123 Philadelphia Story, The (1940)
124 Cool Hand Luke (1967)
125 African Queen, The (1951)
126 Mystic River (2003)
127 Ben-Hur (1959)
128 Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
129 Bringing Up Baby (1938)
130 Unforgiven (1992)
131 Green Mile, The (1999)
132 Hable con ella (2002)
133 Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
134 Stalag 17 (1953)
135 Grapes of Wrath, The (1940) (* saw a play of it. Yech)
136 Shrek (2001)
137 Elephant Man, The (1980)
138 Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
139 Night of the Hunter, The (1955)
140 Gone with the Wind (1939)
141 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
142 Wild Bunch, The (1969)
143 Christmas Story, A (1983)
144 Back to the Future (1985)
145 Straight Story, The (1999)
146 Platoon (1986)
147 Hustler, The (1961)
148 All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
149 Amores perros (2000)
150 Young Frankenstein (1974)
151 Smultronst?llet (1957)
152 Adventures of Robin Hood, The (1938)
153 Gold Rush, The (1925)
154 Die Hard (1988)
155 His Girl Friday (1940) (* I think I saw the movie this one was based on)
156 Monsters, Inc. (2001)
157 Grande illusion, La (1937)
158 Life of Brian (1979)
159 Lost in Translation (2003)
160 Spartacus (1960)
161 Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The (1962)
162 Battleship Potemkin (1925)
163 Charade (1963)
164 Gladiator (2000)
165 Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
166 Quatre cents coups, Les (1959)
167 Almost Famous (2000)
168 Festen (1998)
169 Conversation, The (1974)
170 Sling Blade (1996)
171 Roman Holiday
172 Toy Story (1995)
173 Magnolia (1999)
174 Ying xiong (2002)
175 Day the Earth Stood Still, The (1951)
176 Night at the Opera, A (1935)
177 Streetcar Named Desire, A (1951)
178 Insider, The (1999)
179 All the President's Men (1976)
180 Brazil (1985) 7.9/10
181 Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
182 To Be or Not to Be (1942)
183 Ed Wood (1994) 7.8/10
184 Being John Malkovich (1999)
185 Trois couleurs: Rouge (1994)
186 Killing, The (1956)
187 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
188 Exorcist, The (1973) )
189 Dog Day Afternoon
190 Mulholland Dr. (2001)
191 Stand by Me (1986)
192 Twelve Monkeys (1995)
193 Harvey (1950)
194 Terminator, The (1984)
195 Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
196 Gandhi (1982)
197 Hotaru no haka (1988)
198 Groundhog Day (1993)
199 Lion in Winter, The (1968)
200 This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
201 Trainspotting (1996)
202 Miller's Crossing (1990)
203 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
204 Whale Rider (2002)
205 Right Stuff, The (1983)
206 Adaptation. (2002)
207 Rain Man (1988)
208 Midnight Cowboy (1969)
209 Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
210 Network (1976)
211 Laura (1944)
212 Big Fish (2003)
213 8? (1963)
214 King Kong (1933)
215 Stagecoach (1939)
216 Ikiru (1952)
217 X2 (2003)
218 Snatch. (2000)
219 39 Steps, The (1935)
220 Strada, La (1954)
221 21 Grams (2003)
222 Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
223 Passion de Jeanne d'Arc, La (1928)
224 Others, The (2001)
225 Big Lebowski, The (1998)
226 Untouchables, The (1987)
227 Thin Man, The (1934)
228 In the Heat of the Night (1967)
229 Rio Bravo (1959)
230 Planet of the Apes (1968) (* saw the marky mark version)
231 Minority Report (2002)
232 Red River (1948)
233 Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)
234 Traffic (2000)
235 Beauty and the Beast (1991)
236 Fantasia (1940)
237 Being There (1979)
238 Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
239 Good Will Hunting (1997)
240 Henry V (1989)
241 Sleuth (1972)
242 Todo sobre mi madre (1999)
243 Die xue shuang xiong (1989)
244 Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
245 Heat (1995)
246 Quiet Man, The (1952)
247 E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
248 Enfants du paradis, Les (1945)
249 Clerks. (1994)
250 Beautiful Mind, A (2001)

I have seen a friggin' lot of movies!

Also, there's this meme I wanted to try out (via Dragonpaws):

Invent a memory of me and post it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it's something that's never happened. Then, of course, post this to your journal and see what people would like to remember of you, only the universe failed to cooperate in making it happen so they had to make it up instead.

(for example, the memory I invented for her was: Remember that time in grade school when we went to the vanilla ice concert? And he invited us backstage and we thought we were SOOOOO cool? But then he hit on us, and you were like, "Hey. We are children. You are a sick, sick man, Vanilla Ice!" and then his career went down the toilet soon after that, and we laughed and laughed.

Then, since we were in the city anyway, we went to a taping of "The Facts of Life." And Tootie hit on us too! And we were like, "Hey, Tootie. We don't swing that way." Except you DID swing that way and visited her later that night and were afraid to tell me, but you let it slip 5 years later and we laughed and laughed about it. Good times.)

So invent something good, peons! (if anyone even knows where I'm posting nowadays and reads this :P)

Thursday, April 29, 2004

I feel awful about the research paper I’m turning in today for Media Effects class. I’ve never done such a half-assed job on a research paper before. Not only did I purposefully muff up APA style just so I wouldn’t have to cite pages, because I didn’t know the pages the info was on, because I never read the articles, instead, I just found some other article on the internet that made a point similar to the one I wanted to make, and stole the citation after that. And apparently people on the internet aren’t big on citing pages either.

Also… I thought maybe my craptacular disregard for APA style might elicit some sympathy from the prof, because it IS hard to get those damn things straight sometimes. How do you cite a paper written by four people, in a magazine compiled by 8 other people, that is technically something besides a magazine, and you found it on an online database…. Who the hell knows or cares? But of course, yesterday he sent us a great APA cheat sheet, so I have no excuse now.

But what I have to say was the worst thing about this paper, is it’s supposed to be 10 pages, and I barely got a paragraph over 5. The first 2 parts of the paper (of 4) aren’t too bad despite the fudging I mentioned earlier. They pretty much lay out aspects of the theory I’m talking about, and research that supports it. But the second 2 parts are tiny and awful. They’re supposed to be “relevance” and “importance.” Which, to me, are the same thing. But for importance, I tried to link it to other theories. This didn’t work that well, because I only knew one research article that linked it to another theory, and the rest I had to pull out of my ass. And it’s obvious that I pulled it out of my ass, because I cite no one else in this section. And the importance section is pretty much, “It’s important to us all because everyone watches TV, and even if they don’t, they hang out with people who watch TV and that affects their views too, blah blah blah.” Also pulled out of my ass and barren of citations. Frankly, if I were a professor of a 300 level class, I’d be offended if a student turned this in to me.

I don’t know what my problem is… I’m not fond of research papers in general, but no matter how much I dread them I usually do pretty darn good, if I say so myself. How can I write a whole huge thing like this simply ABOUT writing a paper, but can’t write the paper itself?

Anyway… it took me so long to do the last page and paragraph last night that I had to go to bed at 2:30. And on top of that, I had no luck falling asleep, so it was more like 4:30/5:00 by the time I finally fell asleep. Boo. Especially as I have another paper I have to work on today (though—thankfully—not a research paper, a “how-to” paper on directing at TV-10).

I had to get the research paper rant out of the way first, but now I have to mention that I’m typing this in Word. It’s been almost a week since googlies.net went down. AND, as I have told several people: since it’s Bitsy’s space, and the only contact I know for her is an e-mail addy @googlies.net, I don’t really have any way to get ahold of her and ask what’s up.

I waited awhile to see if things were going to straighten themselves out, and maybe they still will, but I’ve gotten so used to blogging every day that it feels like I’m bottling things up if I don’t post, so I’m going to be making these secret Word entries until googlies.net gets back or I manage to fix my blogspot account. Which, I dearly hope that googlies.net gets straightened out, because I was a moron and didn’t make backups. That’s almost a year of my life lost.

Good news: I keep the comics on the school server, so they’re at least safe. Until someone hacks in and messes it up, anyway. I have made a couple new ones, partly as a procrastination technique during the making of the research paper:

http://www.ilstu.edu/~alscove/comix/monkeys.jpg
http://www.ilstu.edu/~alscove/comix/grammar.jpg
http://www.ilstu.edu/~alscove/comix/t.jpg

The last business for this entry is probably to mention some of the little things I’ve wanted to blog in the last few days. Of course, I can’t remember a lot of them. And some of them, I can remember the subject, but only vaguely. Like, I had a whole thing about how I saw Man on Fire, and though it’s not my favorite or anything, I realized that Denzel Washington NEVER makes a bad movie. If there is a bad Denzel Washington movie out there, I have not seen it.

Also, how I want Jake Gylenhaal (sometimes better known as Donnie Darko) to have my babies. I had thought that that movie, “The Day After Tomorrow,” looked stupid, but then I finally saw a trailer with my future babies’ daddy in it, and he looked so good in it that I totally want to see it now.

The last thing I can remember, also to do with movies, is the Shrek II ads. And how they have a snippet of Ben Folds’ “Rockin’ the Suburbs” in it, and how I appreciate them taking the time to stick something great but a bit obscure in between the requisite Smash Mouth songs.

That’s about it for now.

(later)

Oh, I forgot to mention another thing I totally wanted to post! I’m not sure why, because it only points out how self absorbed and absent minded I am, but hey. Anyways, there’s this guy I sit behind in two of my classes and does weather on TV-10 every Friday when I’m there to crew the newscast. Up until yesterday, the third to last day of the semester, I thought that he was two separate people! It’s not like he acts all that different in class from TV-10. Or that I would have ANY reason to believe that he’s two separate people. Yet, I thought he was. And I was just staring at his back in class yesterday, and something in my brain was like, “Dude. That’s the weatherguy from TV-10!”

He also probably thinks I’m a psycho with a split personality, I always talk to him at TV-10, and never in class. Which, I don’t think he’s a split personality for not talking to me in class, because he never initiates talk with anyone in class or in TV-10. I get the impression that he’s painfully shy, which makes me wonder why he’s willing to be a weatherman at TV-10. Thanks to equipment malfunctions, we make some unsuspecting weather-person look like a giant fool at least once a week. Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks, though, I guess.


Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Hunh. I stopped thinking about blogging as much since I have to type it down in Word. Also, I have been awfully busy this weekend preparing for finals/finishing up last minute projects that profs stupidly assign DURING finals. Anyway, I just came back from the Japanese cinema final, and I think I did fairly okay on it. Go me!

Also, I had a dream last night. I was in a movie or watching a movie…. sometimes it becomes not so clear when it’s a dream… and the same song kept playing over and over. And the first time or two, I was like, “Whoa, this is a good song, I like it,” but after awhile I got really angry, because I couldn’t get anyone to stop it, and it was driving me nuts.

Anyway, the problem is I fell asleep while having my headphones on, with Lifehouse’s “Cling and Clatter,” on repeat. Which, that same dream thing happened to me a long time ago when I did the same thing with a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, but I obviously do not really learn from my mistakes. And most often, I only do the one song thing to myself when I want to lull myself into being calm before I sleep, I don’t actually fall asleep while listening. And I did it for like two months with the same Better Than Ezra song, because I was trying to train myself into a pavlovian response, but after awhile I got tired of it. So that’s the overly long explanation.

Oh, another funny thing about the dream—the song would go on in the background for awhile, and I wouldn’t really pay attention, but every time it got to the part of the song where it says, “Well it’s all good if you would stop the world from making sense,” I’d get like, really homicidal. Like, “Shut UP! Stop this song! Stop it!” And I actually like that bit of the song really well usually. Good times.

Grrr.... Now I know why I switched to Moveable Type. Not only will it never let me post to my music blog on here, now Troubled Youth is going all wonky about letting me publish something. Which, even though Bitsy, who hosts my regular blog now has offered to host Troubled Youth and Moveable Type it all up, I figure I'll lose what people who do go to TY now if go around moving it willy nilly. Plus, I'm lazy.

Anyway, figured I might as well post here while I was logged into Blogger anyway, incase it's got something where it deletes the whole thing if you don't ever post again. Yep.

Weird.... I'm mainly using this site for my archives (since May 2003 I've been posting at Hastily Paraphrased), and I changed a minor thing in my template, and now the top post showing is one I made way before I made the last post here, so I can't figure out why it's showing in the wrong place.

Apologies,

Phoe

Welp, I don't think I'm going to do D & D tomorrow, or ever again, really. I have a HUGE program due on Friday, and I'm not very far along, thanks to the H & S paper I had to write at the beginning of the week which I would've written it over the weekend, but I had radio scripts to write then. I'm so busy this week, I forgot I had a radio midterm yesterday, and did pretty damn poorly on it. I just don't have 8 hours this wednesday to do this.

And I got to thinking, I probably won't be able to go next week on spring break either, because I don't want my parents knowing why I'm going out. My mom would freak if she knew I met people from the internet. And no, I couldn't lie about it. 1) I suck at lying and 2) there's no good lie to tell. I never go anywhere, especially 8 hours at a time. Also, I have C++ tests random wednesdays during the semester, that'll cause me to miss.

And then I was thinking, dammit, I'm always going to be this busy for the rest of the semester. I'm always going to have half a C++ program due on friday. I'm always going to have a radio project every week. I'm always going to have a media writing project every week. I'm going to have assembly language programs in H & S due soon. I have a TV PSA I have to shoot soon. There's no way I'm going to regularly have time to do this 8 hours a week. So I'm going to leave a comment on the guy's site to the effect of, "really, I'm not blowing you off. I just didn't realize how little time I really have until now."

Have you ever noticed that when I have a lot to do, I blog in short, frequent bursts bitching about how much I have to do, thus making the time I have to do these things shrink? Yeah, me too.

But I can't stop. It's like, my escape, I guess.


Anyway, I just noticed that my WinAmp playlist right now is all british bands (Idlewild, The Coral, Aqualung) except for this one oldie glorifying the confederacy (The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down/Joan Baez) I like the song, not the message. And it's weird, its not straight up for the confederates, but still it mentions how the guy's brother was killed by a yankee. So, yeah. And this other song (Over My Head/Semisonic) from a soundtrack to some crappy-ass Freddie Prinze Jr. movie. Well, I've never seen the movie. But it has to be crappy if it's got FPJ. It's like a rule that he can only make crappy movies.

Anyway, i wonder if all of this says anything about me.

All the playlist is missing is some booty bass, bay-bee

Welp, I've finally put up my first post at the new blog. It pretty much explains what I'm trying to do there.

Not sure if I'm going to keep Angry White Girl or go with something new. Technically right now it's called Phoemeister which I know I'm definately changing. Yep.

Change your bookmarks, people. I'm going to rock your world moveable type style now, oh yeah!

I think I've become a compulsive eater. I mean, technically the steroids I'm on might be increasing my hunger because that's one of their generally recognized side effects, but I don't think that's the real problem. First off, I started gaining a lot of weight before I started on the steroids. Second off, it seems like I'm only happy lately when I'm eating. Even right after I eat, when I'm full, I wish I wasn't full, so I could eat more. So I'm thinking I'm a compulsive eater. That, coupled with the fact that I am the most sedentary/lazy person on earth: not good.

*big sigh*

Here is one thing besides food that has cheered me up lately: an e-mail from one of my highschool friends. I miss her more right after we've talked than I do the months and months we go without seeing each other.

If only...

we could be as cool as Willie Nelson at 70. Really. Did you see the cover of TV guide this week? That phrase was on it, along with a slammin' picture of the guy. Man, if only I could live up to that.

But really, who thinks about Willie Nelson at 2:00 am in the morning? Apparentely only me. I had to ask my roommate, who is still up, how to spell his name. So, at least one other person is thinking about this.

Yeah.

I hope you have been well. With school and all that. I have found myself pretty sleepless at night. I saw 4 am on the digital the other morning, and I wasn't studying. Thoughts on that? I talked to "other high school friend" on the phone tonight. She makes me feel like Peter Pan. I don't think I'm ready to grow up just yet. I still want to think that I can be Willie Nelson at 70.

You like how that just all flowed together? Nice, huh?

She's the best. I sent her back this long whiney e-mail about how long winded and whiney I am.

I've been a lazy blogger lately. Usually I post every bit of anything that happens to me or pops into my head, but I've been lax. Though the sparseness probably improves quality. So I'll just summarize the (few) things that happened since last bloggie:

1) Saw the Matrix. It's an alright movie and everything I guess, but I just couldn't get into it. I figure part of it was my unrealisticly high expectations for the thing, plus seeing every single action sequence beforehand thanks to stupid TV, but it just didn't hit me like the first one did. I honestly had a better time watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on TV that night. Because who doesn't love watching Harrison Ford and Sean Connery thwart Nazis? Yes, TV has its redeeming qualities.

2) Sister's dog hurt its back somehow, and now everyone's all freaked out about it. I really do feel sorry for the dog. But man do they get fussy about it. My sis's all worried about having people over because the dog can't get up, but the dog likes to follow people around when they're over and stuff. It's like, "Dude, I know the dog doesn't like not being able to get up, but I think he can handle it." And I have to admit I'm psychotically fixated on how much they love the dog. Like, every time they're like, "Oh, oh the poor dog had diahrea again last night!" I want to be like, "Oh, oh! Poor me! I've had diahrea every day since October 2002. That's not counting the frequent bouts I had even before then going back as far as 2000, or any of my vomitting and anal bleeding!"

3) I guess I don't have a 3. It was wishful thinking to believe that in 5 days I did something besides watch a movie and obsess about my sister's dog.

Oh, and I'm feeling better about all the whining I've been doing about summer school lately. Everyone in the entire class hates it, not just me, so I feel all justified now.

Someone complimented my doodling today. That seems to happen more and more to me, because they've become so elaborate of late. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pathetic enough that the whole reason I doodle is for attention. It's a pretty crappy way of getting attention, though. There's really nowhere for a conversation to go after, "Nice doodling." At least nowhere I can think of, and believe me, I've tried. I've tried so hard. *breaks down into unintelligible sobbing*

AWESOME. I love the internet! Several hours after I post about my love for the lounge singer guy, Albany Dan totally tells me who the guy is, and complains that I don't like infomercials enough. And I have a peanut gallery backing him up on the infomercial thing.

I do like some infomercials though. I think I'm addicted to the psychic ones, I used to love watching and making fun of Miss Cleo and before that--Psychic Friends with Dionne Warwick! Right now my favorite is this spa commercial that's on locally where they come up with this whole story plot about these two neighbors hooking up because of their spa. It's so awful that I have to laugh.

I do admit, the knife ones get old. I've seen so many knife infomercials that the next time I buy a knife and it can't cut through concrete I'm going to write an angry letter to someone.

In other news: never get Talia started talking on the process of Shrimp de-veining. It is truely disturbing.

Oh, also: I have to admit that I've been watching the Carson Daly Show late at night. It's not that great or that horrible, and I don't really have any other choices unless you count one of those ads where they use a kitchen knife to saw through concrete.

Anyway, this week Carson's show has been in Vegas, and they have this lounge singer guy singing the little intros when guests come out, and when they go to commercials. Anyway, I've decided I'm obsessed with the lounge singer guy. He is so awesome. He sings all these songs lounge singer style. System of a Down, Weezer, even 50 cent is awesome lounge singer style. The only problem is you never get to hear the whole song. Anyway: my new life's purpose is to go to Las Vegas someday to hear crazy lounge singer guy.

I just HAVE to whine about my awful ethics class again.

1) I have a small paper due EVERY day. They justify this saying we have 16 days of class, so one day of class is like a week of class in a regular semester. The thing is, though, I have never had a class where I had a paper due every week. Plus, it's not like we get time off, we spend as much time in class in one day as you would during a week in one regular semester.

2) I have to read my brains out, on top of this. Maybe I wouldn't mind if the books had anything to do with anything.
a) book one is common sense crap, that you know already. Reporters are under pressure to get stories done on time. Reporters should stay impartial. Etc. I wouldn't even bother reading the book except we're quizzed on minute details of examples the book gives of "ethical dillemmas." I have to read 30-60 pages of this damn book every night.
b) book two is by this hyperpretentious guy who thinks that he is trying to prevent the fall of western society. He's afraid everything will go to pot and we'll end up living in a world similar to the one in Huxley's Brave New World. The whole book is just his unsupported opinion on how people only care about entertainment. And he wanders into all this crap that doesn't even have to do with his main opinion, like how the invention of clocks have supposedly brought about the downfall of religion. I think he wants to be Huxley but doesn't have the finesse. Thankfully, I only have to read 10-15 pages of this a night.
c) book three is a series of point-counterpoint articles about issues in the media. I've only read one chapter yet (going to do the rest after I'm done ranting) but both the articles annoyed the hell out of me. The first article had it's points, but the guy writing it was convinced that people using curse words on TV was causing the fall of western society. He's afraid of homogenization, but he's the type of guy who if he had his way, everyone would be watching only what he approves of. The second article was saying that media is actually anti-homogenization, and the guy didn't have a leg to stand on. His big example was how sattellite TV has encouraged women's liberation in India. But he's full of crap, because it's global homogenization, basically trying to turn India into the west. And while I DO approve of women's liberation in India, I do get pissed from time to time when I hear about how our culture is so great that countries like India are so much better off now that they're like us. I have to read 20-30 pages of this a night.

3) 3 hours every weekday besides Friday sitting there listening to him lecture is so boring I want to smack myself for taking summer school.

Well, I have to go now. I have 20 pages to read and a paper to write before class.

Oh, and sorry about the crazy template, it's stuff I accidently did because I'm doing stuff involving switching to moveable type. And I'm poor at following instructions. So we'll see how it goes.

Summer School: the final frontier.

First off, I parked reeeally far away from the class, so I really had to hurry to get there. My calves were on fire. I think I must really be a lump of fat if I really couldn't walk that fast for that length and end up with burning calves.

Then, I found out I needn't have hurried, seeing as how I accidently came an hour early.

So I bought my books. Campus is really weird in the summer, btw. I felt like I was in one of those post-apocolyptic movie scenes where all the buildings and stuff are intact but there's no one around. Weirdly, even though hardly anyone was around, I managed to bump into Ed from the England trip last year. I thought we were decent aquaintences at the time, but talking to him again was really awkward. I hate talking to people like that, when I haven't seen them for a year and didn't know their whole life story before that anyway, because you feel obligated to talk to them, but you don't know what to say and odds are they're not too keen on talking to you either but don't want to be impolite.

Then was the actual "class" portion of my time on campus. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the bit of class where the instructor basically goes over the sylabus with a fine tooth comb and bores you to tears? Yeah. I have to grant to this guy that he hasn't yet reached Uber-Ben-Stein-Style-Boringness yet, but it was pretty close, plus i'm not into the subject matter. Classes on ethics suck, by college you pretty much know what you think is right and wrong and pay lipservice to what they think is right and wrong, and get bored to tears along the way. I wanted to maim myself after a couple of hours of this. He also assigned us a few papers and a group proj already, which, strangely enough was the one thing he DIDN'T go thoroughly through on his frolick through the sylabus.

Speaking of which: group projects, grrr. My group seems like a nice sort. They seemed to agree with me that "Group I is I-tastic!" and that "summer school is scary!" but I still don't like group projects.

Oh, and he asked us to put our hero's name on the paper with our phone numbers and stuff. I don't think I have any real heros.... I have people I'd like to hang out with, but no one that I'm like, "I want to be like them." So in a moment of flippantness, I put Wolverine down. I bet he's labeled me as a wisacre already.

I guess that's it.

AAAAAAHRG! Stupid blogger. I'm trying to switch to MT right now, and about an hour ago I logged on and started saving my archives to my harddrive just to make sure nothing got lost. My Dad offered to take me out for ice cream, and I came back, and it won't show the damned archives. ARGH.

So yeah.

I have 50 bajillion copies of Rolling Stone, I just discovered. I'm attempting to clean out my room (no small task) because *sigh* my mommy is making me. Anyway, I ended up cleaning up magazines first, because I realized I have a LOT of magazines. And I am sharing this observation with the world.

I was actually going to go somewhere from there, but I'm too tired and can't remember.

Oh, and I talked to New Roommate yesterday. She seems nice. "She seems nice," seems to be my standard comment about every new roommate once I meet them. Oh, and what I find hilarious--my mom already knows where the girl is from, because she answered the phone yesterday and asked. "Where is he/she from?" is the question my parents ask about everyone. I don't even know why. It says nothing about the person (but I guess they just like nonsensical questions, because the second is always "how tall are they?"). My first question would be more, "Major?" I would never bother to find out where my endless stream of roommates is coming from if I didn't know I'd have to ask them just to tell my parents.

Also, we went out to dinner (me & family, not me & roommate). I'm the type of person who has a favorite and gets it every time they're out somewhere, but I've been getting tired of the places we go to eat lately so I've been experimenting in order to widen my choices. Anyway, I've decided I'm one helluva picky bastard. I haven't been happy with any of the choices I've been making lately. Why this made it into my journal? I do not know.

Ugh. FTA still hasn't called me back or anything, leading me to think (and dread) that I'm going to have to call him again. I really really wish I'd known about Cinema studies long enough ago that I wouldn't have to deal with advisors. Because advisors SUCK. Maybe there's one or two good, but all around they SUCK.

I mean, the advisor for my old minor didn't even really have to do anything for me this semester except allow me into classes I need, and he couldn't even get that right. If I can't get the new minor off the ground, I'm going to have NO minor classes next semester.

But FTA, the one I'm hoping will come through for me, I doubt will come through for me. He keeps saying that we have to get the prof's permission when he doesn't even know who it is. He doesn't want to go ahead and put me in and get the prof mad. What I want to do is be like, "Hey, just put me in the class and if the prof gets mad take me back out and be like, 'hey, it's not like we could get ahold of you and consult you. My bad.' And if the prof finally shows up and doesn't get mad, I'm spared all this worry that you won't get me in." What also kills me about FTA is how badly he wants to cover his own ass when he doesn't even know who he's afraid of. The job of an advisor is to HELP people like me, not screw us over. But FTA and CAA (crappy ACS advisor), show a heroic unwillingness to help me out. I can see them not sticking their necks out for a freshmen, because you have 4 years to get the classes you need in then. But when I'm going to be a senior, and every time they screw me over means another semester of school? GRRR. I'd expect more help from some bystander on the street than these clowns.

So.... that's my long, nonsensical rant about how much college advisors suck.

I was totally going to do a post on what fictional (book) characters I crushed on, (idea stolen from Dragonpaws, but I was confronted by several problems:

1) I haven't read many good fiction books in a long time. Stupid school took away my thirst for literature. Or pulp fantasy novels. Whatever.
2) I'm not really hot for most of the guys in books anyway. There are ones I totally love and would want to hang out with, but not that I'm hot for.

So I'm doing book guys I want to hang out with. Because I only get one week of school break this summer, but I still can't find anything better to do with the time.

Sam from Villains by Necessity
Okay, him I actually am hot for. He's a good bad boy! With a desperate crush on someone else! How could I not be all about him? Anyway, I think he's a deeper character than you'd find in most fantasy books, which is what I like to read. I don't know if I'd want to marry him or anything, because "Assasin" isn't exactly the job description I'd want for a husband, but I could definately carry on a torrid affair with him.

Rimmer from Red DwarfTechnically, this character is more TV than book, but I've never seen the show (due to cruel, cruel fate) and I have read the books, so he counts, dammit! I don't have a crush on him, because he is a huge loser. He lost his virginity at thirty to a woman who had a concussion at the time. But, I love him because I see so much of myself in him. I mean, not withstanding the whole being a 21 year old virgin myself, but just everyone has that feeling where they can't get anything right, sometimes, and it's refreshing to see a character that is vain, selfish, cowardly, but still loveable and makes you root for him even though he probably deserves his constant failures. I'd also like to throw in a shout out to Talkie Toaster from those books, but I don't know if he counts as a guy, being a toaster and everything.

Yossarian from Catch-22 Again, also a movie, but have never seen it. I hear he's played by Alan Arkin. Anyway, I'm reading the sequel right now and it's not that cool, but in Catch-22 this guy is cool. I'd like hanging out with him because he's fun. Even though he's in the middle of a warzone, he still manages to be goofy and mess with stupid people's heads. The war has given him a lot of emotional baggage that you can tell a lot of the humor is a defense mechanism for

Kilgore Trout from about a gazzillion Kurt Vonnegut novels Kilgore Trout is always saying to his cat, "I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't in a book right now. He himself writes short stories with wildly strange plots that only get published in crappy porno mags to use up space. One of his short stories convinces a used automobile salesman to go on a murdering rampage. His son ends up being a ghost that watches the human race evolve into platypus-like beings on a desert island after the rest of the world is taken out by a disease that causes infertility.

That's all I have for now. And I didn't put women up because I mostly read Fantasy, and most of the women in those novels are kind of stupid.

Oh, and addendum: here's how I think they'd fit into my life:

Sam - Torrid affair
Kilgore - Eccentric Uncle
Rimmer - little brother
Yossarian - neighbor/school chum

Mom: Jesus Christ! (at something in the newspaper)
*bag on the table she's sitting at falls off with a huge thunk*
Me: You really shouldn't take the lord's name in vain like that. That was a warning smite, dude.

Okay, I found that really really funny. I crack myself up.

And here is another conversation, this time about mismanaging your college career:

Sarcasmyst: So the english major makes me happy, and the psych major keeps me fed
Sarcasmyst: *grin*
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: You've got it all figured out a helluva lot better than I did :P
Sarcasmyst: *laughs* That's 'cause I's REEEEAL smart. Har har.
Phoemeister: This is me:

"Hmm....I'll wait till the very last second to choose a major."
"Hmm... I'll totally pick a horrible minor, and a major that is nothing like what I thought it would be like."
"Hmm....I'll switch majors."
"eww...switching majors won't work out. I'll stay with this one."
"I really hate my minor but I'll stick it out anyway."
"Maybe I'll switch disciplines within my major."
"Hmm....I'm kind of liking my major now."
"My minor is killing me. Must switch. Oops, weaselly academic advisors screwing me, draining my life blood. Must fight on for new minor."

And that's where i'm at now
Phoemeister: Ah. Yeah, I can see where being smart might've helped :P
Phoemeister: I have developed a strong loathing for academic advisors.
Sarcasmyst: Lol
Sarcasmyst: my advisor...
Sarcasmyst: has no idea who I am
Sarcasmyst: generally loses important papers
Sarcasmyst: and is hard to find
Sarcasmyst: *grin*
Sarcasmyst: I am in advisor-less land.
Sarcasmyst: And I LIKE it.
Sarcasmyst: Bwa ha ha.
Sarcasmyst: what is your major?
Phoemeister: I know how you feel. I only talk to mine when I absolutely have to.

Mass Com. I wanted to get into music production, which I thought was radio production, which is nowhere near the same, and I couldn't switch to music production, and the radio industry's in the crapper, so I'm switching to TV/Movies prod which is slightly less in the crapper, and I'm enjoying writing more than production lately anyway.
Sarcasmyst: *nods* Sounds kinda fun, really
Phoemeister: I kind of suck at production, to tell you the truth.
Phoemeister: Yeah, it is. I'm in a lot happier place now that I'm doing a lot more hands on stuff

Oh, here's something I've wanted to blog about for some time: a local Christian bookstore of ours, Berean, has been having ads lately where they have the American flag, or our troops or something, and are all "go to church this sunday" at the end.

No, not, "go to church and pray for our troops," just go to church. Okay, I know they're not trying to be "if you don't go to church, you're not patriotic," but it comes so close that it really, really annoys me. Being American is not being Christian. They are two unrelated things that Berean should not try to tie together. I mean, we practically invented separation of church and state. We're the first to clearly put it in writing, certainly.

So I'd like to say to Berean Bookstores: STOP BEING SUCH BUTTHEADS AND GO BACK TO PUSHING VEGGIE TALES PARAPHANALIA SANS PATRIOTIC PROPAGANDA.

I got a hit from Japanese google and a hit from New Zealand google today. I feel so international. And less frightened. Now I've got non-arab countries looking for me, for once.

And lots of hits for Funny Cide, Naked Matt Damon, and Dave Grohl's funny Tee shirts.

Really: I got online and had nothing to do. Yep.

Suprise, surprise


you are a science fiction novel


what type of book are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So much to say.....

I've actually not been posting for the last few days because I was actually so busy. So I'm going to hastily sum it up.

1) Move-out. Never a fun experience. Went fairly smoothly though. The only thing worse than moving out my crap: cleaning up that filthy hole. And i'm not even joking about it being filthy. It is the dustiest place on earth.

2) X2. Pretty good. Like last time, I'm disappointed by the lack of character development, but I expected it so wasn't too burned. Also: I think Nightcrawler is AWESOME. I never really knew about that character before because I only watched the X-Men cartoon, but you can't help but fall in love with circus-folk.

3) Tornado Warning. I was going to go more thoroughly into the above, as well as other stuff, last night yesterday, but the power went off 5 minutes after I logged on. And we had all these dire tornado sightings. But, though windy and lightningy outside, it never even rained. My dad and I actually went outside for part of the duration.

4) 'roids. Steroids are AWESOME. I haven't pooped all day! Do you have any idea what that's like for me? I have a fear that I might be a little bit on the constipated side now (not to mention the unpleasantness of taking 17 pills a day + 2 calcium supplements) but It's a sweet, sweet, change from diahrea every 5 minutes.

5) Mother's day. Too cold to go out looking for flowers like usual. We had brunch at the new IHOP. My sister got annoyed with me because I was really chipper. I love the girl, but I'm somewhat troubled by the fact that she likes me better when I'm in a bad mood than when I'm happy. I took a nap half the rest of today, and then watched Die Hard. The one with the plane.

There. Now you're up to date on the scintillating details of my day to day life.

I can't believe they have all those questions about piercings under "fucking sick." I score higher in doing sick acts than I do on being straight, because I have pierced ears. What's that?

Anyway.... I'd have to say I'm almost creepily pure.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	88.3% Never taken out of the packaging	61.9%
Shamelessness	97.6% Has yet to see self in mirror	77.1%
Sex Drive	97.4% The Pope is envious	75.3%
Straightness	100%	40.7%
Gayness	100%	80%
Fucking Sick	99.1% Refreshingly normal	88.2%
You are 97.68% pure Average Score: 69.9%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

Do you know that feeling when you eat a steak and it feels good going down, but then after awhile you're like, "Gee, I have a huge hunk of meat in my stomach." And all your burps are steak-y? It reminds me of that one episode of king of the hill where they show an X ray of Hank and there's this huge steak jammed in his colon. Though I kind of feel bad no matter what I put in my colon, so it might as well be steak.

Worse: Igraine had steak too, and didn't eat hers all the way, and had this steak stinking up her car so I was like, confronted by the overpowering smell of steak even while regretting the steak that I ate. Hell must be full of ironies like this.

Weirdly enough, I asked for well done and got medium done. Igraine asked for medium done, and got rare. No point to this, just saying that Applebee's should re-examine their steak cooking.

We had a great time, though. We laughed, smelled stuff, and saw Chicago. It was good, I was glad I saw it on the big screen. It was good to go out and have fun with a real human being besides my parents.

I'm so mad. I was about to log in just now, and one of the random links on the page was to a blog called "t8er boi." How hilarious is that? That man could be my future husband! But cruel fate (or perhaps bill gates) tore me away from him when IE crashed, and now I don't know the url and couldn't find the page on google.

Anyway: I'm about to get on the 'roids. We decided this pansy colasol crap wasn't cutting it so I'm going to go on steroids. Fun stuff, I'll tell ya. Anyway, I'm relishing the chance to act bitchy and use 'roid rage as an excuse.

Also, it took an HOUR in the office just to wait for him. Stupid Dr's offices, I hate them SO much.

Also, I hate how I'm the only one under 60 who comes into that waiting room. It clearly shows me how fucked up my digestive system is that I'm the only non 60 year old who's going to a digestive disease consultant.

And I'm sick of the paperwork. I have to fill out 8 forms every time I go there. And they ask crap that doesn't even have anything to do with my colon. Like, marital status. I put down "Still lookin'."

And my mom told me this story about how a deer broke into my dad's office building. Honest to god. I would've loved to be one of the people working at the desk near where it busted in. That's gotta be like, the ULTIMATE "this weird thing happened at work," story. You could milk it for years. Hell, I still tell people about the car that exploded behind the Old Lady Store I worked at three years ago. Hell, I'll be telling my grandkids about the deer and I don't even work there. Hell, I just like saying hell.

Speaking of "awesome" does anyone else associate the word with the 80's? It seems like "awesome" (as was "rad") was big in the 80's. And uncool (cool seems to be rather long-running) during the 90's. But people say it again now. My first roommate said it all the time, and it got me saying it too. And lots of people on my trip to England.

Which, in England it was weird. Because people from my group would be like, "St. Paul's Cathedral was AWESOME!!" And while "awesome" is a compliment, if I were St. Paul's Cathedral, I'd be going more for "majestic." Or at least "bitchin'."

Wowee. I got a call from my roommate next semester already (on my answering machine, I wasn't around to actually talk to her).

It used to freak me out, getting used to new roomates, but seeing as how she'll be my 4th roommate, I'm kinda getting over "first meeting the roommate anxiety."

Anyway, she seemed nice enough.

I hope I didn't frighten her when I e-mailed her back:

Hi! This is Phoe, I just recieved your phone call. I am e-mailing you instead of calling because I'm still in the dorm and have no good long distance plan. Aaaaanyway, if you want to call me at my home number (where I will be in a few days) its ###-####. Or call me again here before I leave. Or e-mail me back. The choices are endless!

Anyway, you're in for a real treat next semester, because I am really awesome!

Catch you later,

Phoe

Gr... last night I realized that I'm fairly sure that my TV prod and Radio prod finals are in the same room. Usually: not a problem. Unless you're at a school that's stupid enough to schedule the finals of 2 different classes at the same time!

So 1. TV prod is not in the room we usually have it in, and I never heard the final room
2. Radio prod is not in the room we usually have it in. and I never heard the final room
3. Both 1 & 2
4. They actually scheduled 2 finals in the same room.

So, I'm worried that I might not have actually heard where one or more of my finals is: always scary

I'm not sure if I should show up early, so I have time to find the real room if I end up screwed or show up close to time so that I don't sit there pointlessly worrying for 8 minutes.

Gah.... ISU!

The sad thing is I actually DO have ADD


You have ADD!


What is your mental profile?
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I think I've dropped my remote control one too many times

Phoemeister: I just taped my remote together!
Kin: Awesome. I just read about Sir Ian McKellen and aborting the antichrist. =P
Phoemeister: I mean, I had a little tape keeping the bit that holds the battery in, but now tape is literally holding my remote together
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: Wouldn't you abort the antichrist if you had had sex with the devil?
Phoemeister: Another funny thing about the movie: The devil was played by Greg in Dharma and Greg.
Kin: Sure I would.
Kin: Yeah, oddly, I think I've seen that movie before.
Kin: Or at least part of it.
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: Oh my god. My remote is going to explode. It's gotten all hot. I SWEAR
Kin: lol...Are the batteries in correctly?
Phoemeister: OWWWWWW. I just took the batteries out and burned myself
Phoemeister: I thought they were
Kin: If they're in backwards, they can get really hot. I've seen batteries like, melt inside a CD player, because they were in backwards.
Kin: The guy still has a ring burnt into his finger from where he tried to take the battery out.
Phoemeister: weird... I don't think they were in backwards though, because they'd been in there like that for a long time, they only got hot after I taped the thing back together
Kin: Hm. I dunno.
Phoemeister: OW. Just made the mistake of re-touching the battery to see if it had cooled down
Kin: lol...Good one, Phoe. =P
Phoemeister: ......thanks :P
Phoemeister: hm, we might have a spare universal remote at home. Maybe I'll just throw this one away
Kin: That might be a good idea.
Kin: You wouldn't want your remote leaking battery acid all over the place. That burns more than hot metal. =P
Phoemeister: Ow..... yeah
Phoemeister: I keep entertaining the thought of holding my milkshake on top of the hot batteries to cool them down. But I'm like, "do I really want to fuck with the batteries again after being burnt twice?"
Kin: lol...Ah, just give 'em time.

Phoemeister: OW. Just made the mistake of re-touching the battery to see if it had cooled down
Talia: stop touching them
Phoemeister: I did
Talia: cool, and it only took you two times to learn
Phoemeister: shut up!
Phoemeister: I thought they'd cooled down
Talia: :: Laughs::


The bit about the antichrist is supposed to confuse you all.

Another new comic *points to sidebar*

And I promise, it's a LOT funnier than the one about earwax. Though not very original.

Originality is for losers, anyway.

And so, I present to you: An Illustrated Guide to White People (I'm too lazy to put in the link, so click on the sidebar, damn you!)

Wow. I never knew that one day I'd be taking a quiz that proclaimed me Hell's librarian. Next up for me: the Antichrist's Accountant


You are smart and sexy!


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Helpful if I ever do end up kissing someone.

Will: (one of my crushes but it'll never work out because he already has a girlfriend and I'm never going to see him again now that class is over) Did you study for the final?
Me: uh...err... not really. I figure by now I know it or not, and studying's not going to help. Plus it was a beautiful day out.
Will: Yeah, that all goes the same for me. Except for the beautiful day thing. I played video games.
Me: Err... Actually I was watching Spiderman on HBO. I just like to pretend like I go outside.
Will: you pretend to go outside?
Me: I meant I like to pretend like I'm not a geek.
Will: Oh, it's alright. I'm a geek too.
Me: Oh, I forgot I don't have to front about that with you.

Anyway: no wonder we're both barely squeaking by in that class :p

Also: does anyone else cry when they watch Spiderman? I mean, I never cry at movies, even the ones that intentionally try to be sad. But in Spiderman I always cry at the bit they replaced the WTC scene with where the guy goes, "Hey, we're New Yorkers! You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!"

Take the "Which FARK Cliche Are You" quiz!

UGH. They can't figure out who the prof is going to be for the class I NEEEEEED if I'm going to have this minor. So FTA can't give me the override or find out who can. And the little weasel won't even commit to giving his opinion on whether or not the prof, once found, will give me an override.

It KILLS me, KILLS me that I have to depend so hard on one of ISU's crappy advisors. They screw up small things, what about this?

I woke up at 11 but I'm still tired. Waking up every 5 minutes throughout the night might've had something to do with it, though. Especially when ISU furthered the problem by making all sorts of weird noises outside my window. My favorite: this extremely loud noise that sounded like a police siren, but put on a tape deck and speeded up and slowed down going higher and lower. I don't know if that's an apt comparison or not. Most annoying: I could hear it through earplugs and 2 extremely loud fans. What is the point of earplugs and extremely loud fans if you can't block out noise?

I also made a new comic yesterday. It's kind of a crappy one, but I felt I had to make it to keep up the charade that I'm creative. Enjoy.

Wanda: Oooh, I get to be in Limbo! I'm a virtuous non-believer!
Phoemeister: lol

I go straight to hell
Phoemeister: I think dante's categories are stupid anyway. Caesar makes virtuous non believer, but anthony and cleopatra go to lustville. Caesar killed all sorts of people and lusted after cleopatra too. And I'm surprised that like, the 3 VIP damned are as lame as they are
Wanda: Yeah, but I think you go to the worst place you could be categorised for.
Phoemeister: no, actually gluttony place (my sin) is less bad than a lot of the others I scored high on
Wanda: Yeah, but that's just that test, not Dante.
Phoemeister: no, I meant dante was stupid for putting caesar where he was, and that the ultimate damned being who they are is lame
Wanda: Ah, right.
Phoemeister: aha: the top 3 damned are: Judas, Brutus, and Cassius

I can see why Judas goes there, but the others aren't that bad comparatively. I have no idea who Cassius even is.
Phoemeister: Oh, and Aristotle doesn't deserve to be in limbo either, because he was a misogynist bastard
Wanda: Yeah, but this is organised Christianity... females _are_ treated crap as a matter of course :oP
Phoemeister: ah, touche
Phoemeister: my level of hell gets no famous people
Phoemeister: though I suppose I could think of modern ones. Like Sir Mix a lot. I'm in the same circle of hell as Sir Mix a lot
Wanda: LOL
Wanda: That rocks. I'm kinda jealous!
Phoemeister: You SHOULD be. I bet Louie Anderson is in my circle of hell too
Phoemeister: and Cerebus tears at me with his teeth and claws!
Wanda: Who's Louie Anderson.
Wanda: Damnit, you get to meet Cerebus!!? I'm WAY jealous!!
Phoemeister: He's this fat guy. Hence being in my circle of hell, Gluttony. (I can't remember whether or not Sir Mix a Lot was fat, but he encouraged women to be gluttonous, so that counts the same in my Human Comedy :P)
Wanda: Weird... y'know, Limbo is totally me... the castle is 7-sided - 7 is my lucky number. It's alllllll about sorrow/melancholy and that's totally me. I'm a Pagan. I'm all abotu peaceful, yet sad. And I'm all about meadows, too.
Wanda: LOL - your version sounds pretty cool, missy!
Phoemeister: ....I can't believe you actually want to go to sorrowful/misogynist arostotle place
Phoemeister: lol, thanks. I should write an updated version
Wanda: LOL - I don't WANT to... I just mean it's quite apt for me :oP
Wanda: I don't even believe in Heaven/Hell, etc.
Wanda: LOL - I was just thinking that :oP

So the professor finally calls (the 2 minutes in the day I'm actually away, of course)....

...and it's not her class.

So I call FTA (Foreign Theatre Advisor^(TM))...

...and he's not there

So I'm waiting for yet another phone call.

My Canadian fan base grows every day.

Ugh... I can't believe I go to such a stupid University. My parents say it's not just ISU, it's all schools, but I seriously think the public school system must be in pretty poor condition if they're all like my school.

Anyway, mean theatre advisor called me back while I was gone for the weekend. I left him my home number, but he totally got it wrong. Like, not even one digit out of place, just a totally different number. That freaked me out, because I didn't want him even more angry at me than he seems to be anyway. Anyway, he told me to come and see him in person. That was a whole lot of fun. The "artsy" bit of campus is labyrinthine even at the best of times, but it's especially scary when there's construction.

So I finally get to the guy's office, and he wants me to fill out the sheet for switching minors. Which I've told him about 8 times I'm afraid to commit because I already have a minor, but he's still like, "So, you don't already have a minor, right?" Anyway, apparently the override to get into the class I really need an override to get into is up to the prof teaching the class, not him. So I called her up and am now waiting for a message from her. Why does it always seem like I'm waiting for a phone call?

Anyway, I have to apologize for all the abuse I've been dishing out to mean theatre advisor on this blog. He's some foreign guy, so I can see why phone numbers mess him up and he doesn't always catch everything I say. Foreigners and I have a history of not understanding each other. And I guess don't blame him for being somewhat grumpy, because I wouldn't want to deal with angry college students in a strange land either.

I myself am also somewhat grumpy because I had to search an hour before I could find my wallet this morning. And when my mom's around, looking for things is doubly stressful because she keeps calling out places to look that I've looked already and then looks at them herself after I tell her I won't look there again and berates me for having a messy room. Which, the messy room has nothing to do with it. I can totally lose things as easily, if not more easily in a clean room. Case in point: we found my wallet in my dirty clothes hamper. That has nothing to do with all the crap on my floor. (and no, I didn't leave the wallet in my pants, as I ended up wearing them again today, the wallet somehow magically found it's way into the hamper, which sort of freaks me out)

What is up with the names they give racing horses? I mean, I know you want a memorable name that stands out, but these horses are named sentences, not names.

Anyway, I've decided if I ever get a racing horse I'm going to name him Bob. "Funny Cide coming up on the outside, Empire Maker in the lead, Silver Charm holding his own, Peace Rules a cool fourth and Tabasco Cat's not totally out of the running but wait! Wait!!! Bob is making his move! Yes, Bob has won the Kentucky Derby! Wooo!"

If I get a second horse, I'm going to name him Chrysler or something, just so Chrysler would pay money to have my horse on their ads.

GAH. Talking to advisors: not fun. I talked to a com advisor today, and she seems pretty optimistic that if I get one override from the mean theatre advisor, and register for a couple of other classes, I'll only have to be here an extra semester.

WOO HOO

But..... I came back to register for the classes I don't need an override for.... Registration's closed. So I called back the com department, and of course no one answered, so I have to wait even longer for an answer about that.

I called up mean theatre advisor to either beg or badger him into giving me an override, and he wasn't there either. And being mean, he probably won't call me back.

D'OH

ISU bureaucracy = formidable

I talked to my mom about the minor thing. She was surprisingly supportive.

It just KILLS me that that damn theatre advisor won't give me an override for next semester, though. I tried calling him back to beg him to do so, but I chickened out and hung up on him. I hope he doesn't have caller id. I have an appointment with a com person tomorrow, hopefully they can tell me something.

I think I might go for it though. ACS is making me miserable.

Another illustration of the idiocy of ISU: they TOTALLY scheduled two of my final exams at the exact same time.

I talked to one of my profs, and now I'm taking one right after the other. Which is kind of also not fun.

You know, I'm mad at the advisors about the whole minor situation, but I think the reason I'm so very mad is I'm mad at myself as well. I knew I hated ACS when I got into it. I knew my minor should've been English, if anything. I just didn't want to write that many papers. Programming was a novelty, at least. But now I despise programming and feel about the same about writing as I ever did.

I mean, I blame the advisors. I blame my parents. But secretly I blame myself too.

Phoemeister: AAAAAAH
Phoemeister: Advisors at ISU SUCK
Talia: yup
Phoemeister: I talked to the cinema studies advisor, and he pretty much brushed me off, the bastard
Talia: because he sucks
Phoemeister: "No. There's no way I can possibly help you. Please stick with your old major, or stay here like, 80 more years at a place you hate, you know, pretty much go fuck yourself."
Phoemeister: He wouldn't even help me with registration for next semester, so it would only be like, 70 more years. He's like, "they're full."

I damn well know that even if classes are full an advisor can get you an override if he or she wants to
Talia: but he doesn't want to cause it's more work for him
Phoemeister: pretty much
Phoemeister: And the guy I met who has a minor in cinema studies said something about how some of his com classes count for it or vice versa. I asked the advisor about that, and he didn't even answer me
Talia: maybe cause he doesn't even know.... ask your friend who his advisor is, and go see that guy and explain why your seeing him instead of your own advisor
Phoemeister: I don't know the guy's name.... he was just in the editting room the other day when we were editting our PSA's

Big sigh

I always knew I was going to hell........

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

"In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws."

"Just before the river Styx is the Fourth Level of Hell. Here, the prodigal and the avaricious suffer their punishment, as they roll weights back and forth against one another. You will share eternal damnation with others who either wasted and lived greedily and insatiably, or who stockpiled their fortunes, hoarding everything and sharing nothing. Plutus, the wolf-like demon of wealth, dwells here."

"The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx." I'm not sure whether I'm the wrathful or the gloomy. I think it's kind of crappy that "gloomy" is a sin....

"You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell."

"Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level." Also not sure I belong in the violent section of hell either...

I guess I'm most likely to end up in middle hell. Yay.