Harry Potter is Satan

OR

Why I'm So Obsessed About Why I Don't Like Harry Potter That I'll Spend Hours on 3 Different Conversations About It, Wasting Time I Need For A Project I'm Working On

Phoemeister: Hmm... You like harry potter? Could you tell me what the big deal is, anyway?
Phoemeister: Like, why people all love it so much?
Phoemeister: It's not that great
Talia: I like it cause it's simply written but a very differant story and twists... she's a good writer
Phoemeister: She's an alright writer. She is not as good as they make her out to be. And, while the books are about decent, the movies (err, the first movie, anyway) is less so
Phoemeister: There's so many huge frickin' plot holes it makes me want to gag. Even in the books
Talia: I haven't noticed any plot holes... the movies have them because they cut things, but the books I know better
Phoemeister: The books do too. Like quidditch is really moronic. Yes, I know in like, the 3rd book the stupid quaffle made a difference, but really, it doesn't. What the hell do they even bother with the quaffle with? It's all about that stupid snitch.
Phoemeister: I can't remember all the rest. It's been a long time since I read them all, and I've only seen the first movie a couple times
Talia: that's not a plot hole it's just about the game... I mean it wouldn't be any fun if every body on the field was chasing the snitch.. with two teams the game wouldn't last long enough to be fun or dangerous
Phoemeister: Yeah. Well i think the whole snitch thing is stupid. The quaffle and stuff is ALL like a regular sport, and make sence, but then you throw in the stupid snitch that's like, "I'm like the cheatin' way to win."
Phoemeister: A real sport should only have one way to win, not 2
Phoemeister: Oh, and I hate how Dumbledore's all partial to the one house over slytherin, and always finds a way to make them win the house cup, and announces it at the last minute just to make them feel horrible about themselves. That is not how an actual principle would or should act
Talia: catching the snitch IS the only one way to end the game, not win... if you've got over 100+ points and the other team catches the snitch, you might still win... catching the snitch ends the game and gives the catching team 100 points... it's the 100 points that usually wins the game, but not always
Talia: Gryffindor doesn't always win the house cup in the books... they loose it one year

Phoemeister: yes, but most of the fricken time, it IS how they win. It's lame
Phoemeister: Okay, I forgot. One year. Anyway, it IS mean to announce it at the last minute. And he DOES contrive ways to make them win
Phoemeister: And I hate how people like it better than narnia, because narnia kicks it's ass. And I know it's stupid to get upset like that, it's like being one of those moronic people that are all like, "Star trek is way better than star wars because...." or vice versa and write long diatribes about it, but I really do feel like that
Talia: well it IS his house, and Slyterins cheat to get their house points... like Snape always awarding them twice the points for things they do

Phoemeister: See, snape would be fired too, if it were a real school
Phoemeister: You can't just fuck around with little kids heads like that
Talia: it's not a real school, it's a wizard school just as Narnia can have a talking lion be king, wizard schools are going to be differant

Phoemeister: Dude, I'm not critisizing that they have magic, and can turn into things. You shouldn't critisize that Aslan talks. It's not the same thing.

Wizard schools aren't different. They have to buy books, they have grades, they're little kids, it's an actual school, but they teach magic. If I were a parent sending my kid to that school, I would write angry letters to the Wizard Superintendant or whoever to get Snape and Dumbledore fired. Oh, and Hagrid. Hagrid's such an ass, I just hate the character on general principle
Phoemeister: He always screws things up and people all love him anyway.
Phoemeister: And he's not particularly loveable to make up for it
Talia: I wasn't critizing Aslan talking, I was pointing out it's fantasy they both are so there is room for things to be differant.... Dumbledore is the greatest wizard alive so no one has any problems with him teaching their kids cause their hoping he'll make them even half as good as he is

Phoemeister: Yeah, that's another thing. If dumbledore's such a great wizard, what is he doing being principle of some school? He's not a teacher, so he's not actually teaching, so it's not doign the kids any good, and he's not out wizarding, so he's not doing the world in general any good
Talia: he was a teacher there though

Phoemeister: no he isn't
Phoemeister: he's principle
Phoemeister: he doesn't teach anything
Phoemeister: he's administrating
Phoemeister: but he's absentminded enough, i can't see how great he'd be at that
Talia: but he WAS.. I believe he was the defense against the dark arts teacher when he was teaching

Phoemeister: Yeah, but he's not now
Phoemeister: he hasn't in any of the books
Talia: he also works with the ministry of magic, they just never show directly in the books what he does... they call him there all the time though
Phoemeister: what he does for the ministry of magic is keep Voldemort down. Why the hell does he need to be principle to do that? I mean, it involves watching harry, but it looks like he does a pretty damn crappy job of looking over harry anyway, seeing as how many million times harry has almost gotten killed and him and his friends all "solve" it
Talia: because when it comes to things VOldemort does, Harry is the only person who really has a chance of stopping him
Phoemeister: Which, that's another plot hole, I forgot. They're 1st year magicians, but they can solve all the stupid tests to pass in the first book to get to that stone? Yeah, right. That's like a first grader solving a complicated physics equation
Phoemeister:

Dude, harry doesn't have a chance. Or shouldn't anyway. Yes, he has a chance of not getting killed, because he did it as a baby. But he really doesn't know that much magic, and voldemort's the most powerful around. He do
Talia: the movie made those scense more kitsy...

Phoemeister: Or else they did a pretty damn shabby job of protecting the stone
Phoemeister: Yeah, but they still solved them pretty easy in the book. Like, anyone who's good at chess could get in? Whatever
Phoemeister: Voldemort has all this experience, and harry's all just letting things happen to him. If Voldemort would just get a damn gun and kill him normally, Harry would've been dead a long time ago
Talia: I tihnk most people like the stories so much because it's kinda cool to think that there could be this magic society living in the same world, but no one would ever notice and that anyone could find out they belong to it ... or something like that

Phoemeister: Yeah. It's called Narnia, and it's been done, and done better
Phoemeister: It's also called A Wrinkle in Time
Phoemeister: or So You Want To Be A Wizard
Phoemeister: I know tons of books that do it better
Phoemeister: that concept, I mean
Talia: Diane Duane's (So You Want To Be A Wizard) is good, but I didn't like any of the others

Phoemeister: Why not?
Talia: just don't like the style of writing.. I hate feeling like I'm banging my head against the wall to get to the end

Phoemeister: what do you mean they made you feel like you were banging your head against the wall?
Talia: dunno, when I read those books it was like swimming thru mud I didn't like them

Phoemeister: what do you mean swimming through mud?
Phoemeister: Was it like Tolkien, with too much description?
GOWALLSGO: that's the best metaphor I can come up with at this time of night
Phoemeister: You are not helping one bit
Phoemeister: It's easy. "It was like mud, because the pace was really slow. You have to endure 3 pages of what every damn dwarf was doing. And I know gandalf's supposed to be cryptic, but he's really stupid. Just say it already, man. And who cares that much about the scenery."
Phoemeister: If you don't tell me why it's like mud, Narnia gets complete Sovreignty over stupid harry potter
Talia: food... I bloody well got tired of the little hairy bastards eatting in Tolkien
Phoemeister: Dude, I totally did too
Phoemeister: that's sort of what I meant about the dwarfs. In the hobbit, there's a whole feast and you hear what every one of them is eating, and you're like "whatever."
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Phoemeister: Narnia officially kicks HP's ass
Phoemeister: I win
Phoemeister: you lose
Talia: except for the fact that no one reads it anymore
Phoemeister: everyone reads Narnia
Phoemeister: narnia is AWESOME
Phoemeister: Narnia is my god
Phoemeister: I would give my left foot to write like CS Lewis


Phoemeister: Now we're arguing over whether they're even any good
Kin: Yes, it has. The movie you mean?
Phoemeister: Which I say no, (well.... I say it's decent, I don't know what the fuss is for, especially with grown ups) and she says yes
Phoemeister: of course the movie
Kin: I think the movies are okay. The books are good.
Phoemeister: that's what I said. Only I slightly sound like they're a bit crappier because I'm bitter about people loving them so much
K: Yeah. I do quite enjoy the books though
Phoemeister: Eh... See, I think the books are alright, but I still don't see what the big fuss is. And I hate how people like it better than narnia, because narnia kicks it's ass. And I know it's stupid to get upset like that, it's like being one of those moronic people that are all like, "Star trek is way better than star wars because...." or vice versa and write long diatribes about it, but I really do feel like that
Kin: Yeah. Oh I agree, Narnia so kicks Harry Potter's ass.
Phoemeister: Thank you
Phoemeister: I can take anyone loving harry potter as long as they admit that narnia kicks it's ass
Kin: I don't rank it on the same level as Narnia or the Wrinkle in Time series. They're all good, but in different ways.
Phoemeister: Oh, wrinkle in time. I forgot how awesome those are
Phoemeister: I dunno. maybe it's not growing up with them. But they just seem.. shallower, somehow
Kin: Yeah. Narnia and Wrinkle in time have, you know, subplots and stuff. =P
Kin1: I mean, it's more than just one thing going on at once.
Phoemeister: Yes. Yes they do. Stupid harry potter. Not having subplots
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: And they manage to do it a lot less longwindedly. They pack in all these subplots in the same or less space as the one long story in a harry potter book, especially the later in the series the harry potter books get
Kin: Harry Potter is entertaining but a little cut and dry, you know? Like, there it is, and that's it.
Phoemeister: Yeah. That's how I feel about it
Phoemeister: too
Phoemeister: dude, I'm exactly the type of person I hate
Kin: How so?
Phoemeister: I'm totally arguing tooth and nail to Tina about why Harry Potter sucks, and I'm bringing up the tinyest things. And I don't even think it sucks. I just want to make her admit it's not like, the best thing ever :P And that the people don't act like real people
Kin: Ah. Well, especiall in the movies.
Phoemeister: yeah, I admit the movies were worse than the book
Kin: I think Hermione was the worst really. Like she had really weird pauses in her speech that were really unnatural sounding.
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: I didn't really notice.

Phoemeister: well, besides religious people?
Sarcasmyst: lol
Sarcasmyst: hmm
Sarcasmyst: I'm rather neutral
Sarcasmyst: though I think the writing is awful
Sarcasmyst: why?
Phoemeister: see! You think the writing is awful
Phoemeister: Well I hate them so much because I kind of don't like them, but then people love them. I always doubly hate things I don't think should be loved that are loved a lot
Sarcasmyst: ahhh
Phoemeister: the people don't act like real people should
Sarcasmyst: Yeah, really
Phoemeister: and someone's all like, "It's fantasy." And i"m like, just because they know magic doesn't mean they're not people
Sarcasmyst: *nods* I agree
Phoemeister: thank you
Phoemeister: I love it when people agree with me
Sarcasmyst: lol
Phoemeister: I do. It's probably one of my worst faults. I can't stand it when people dont' agree with me
Sarcasmyst: It used to bug me immensely, too.
Sarcasmyst: But I have had to give it up. *grins* Though I am willing to argue very much first.
Phoemeister: yeah

The odd thing is, though I've argued up and down about reasons I don't like it, the real reason is probably because HP reminds me of Sib, (she was way into it), and I miss her.