So I just spent the last 6 hours reading about ninjas and pooping. The former was totally sweet, but the latter: I NEVER EVER WANT TO DO AGAIN. Seriously. That's MY new years resolution. To never poop again. I'm just going to keep it in until I'm more poo than person and when I die I'll crack open from the force of all that poo inside, and people are going to be like, "Ewww, gross!"

Which is probably how you are reading this. Sometimes I forget how disgusting poo is to other people, I've become so desensitized to it and will just randomly tell people what's going on with my colon today and frighten them. So... yeah.

Anyway: back to the Ninja bit: I checked out a book from work today called Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book. It is HILARIOUS. The "narrator" is kind of like Holden Caufield if Holden Caufield was 11 years old, did massive amounts of experimental drugs, and was obsessed with ninjas, hippos, and boners. This schtick does get a little old by the end of the book, but for at least the first half I was laughing my ass off. I can't even remember the last time I literally laughed out loud reading a book, much less this hard. I would reccomend this book to anyone, as long as they are not easily offended by violence, hippos, and boners.