Today I got all excited because it was drizzly out and I wanted a chance to test out my new umbrella, but it never got that rainy. I showed it to my parents and they pretended not to think they've spawned a weirdo obsessed with umbrellas. Seriously, though, that thing is badass. I've nicknamed it Shaft, because there's this clear casing (I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to throw it away and use this nylon thing that came with it instead, but I refuse to do this because I like it too much) that says "Fiberglass Shaft" on it in big white letters. I'm not one to nickname inanimate objects, really. I know people who do it, and I've tried, but I've never really cared enough to follow through with it, or even remember what inane nickname I give to things.

But the thing is, I really like to sing the theme song to Shaft while carrying around my umbrella. "He's a complicated umbrella, but no one understands him but his woman! Shaft! Fiberglass Shaft! Shut your mouth!"

Also: as Sista said, after I bought it, "If you break your leg, you can use it as a cane." So it was a very practical buy as well.