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Super Sarcasmo! You're the one with all the witty wisecracks. We bow before you. Really, we do.

Well, the stair falling pain surprisingly has lingered on. I have to walk, bend over, and sit like a total old person. Complete with sighing sounds.

Actually, it's not that bad. It only hurts all over when I cough, and my left buttock hurts when....I do anything involving my left buttock.

And I know this is whiney: but people who chew gum loudly must die. I had to sit next to one of THEM in mass com today. Cracking, and worse: just the noises you make when you chew with your mouth wide open. For an hour and a half. I wanted to stand up in class, point to her, and loudly declare that she was the devil, and that I refuse to sit next to the devil. Not to mention that I hate most gum chewers, because they stick used gum under desks. It's SO disgusting. When I go to mass com, I have to check, on average, 4 different seats before I can find a gum-free one. Ewww.

ACS is still breaking my will to live, but lab was (slightly) better this week, so that's good. The test wasn't as bad as I thought, either. It was actually pretty cool: I was going down the stairs last night on the way there (carefully this time) and some guy came up behind me and was like "I bet I know where you're going!"

I was kind of freaked out, until I realized it was a fellow unfortunate from my class. Anyway, he walked there with me and we whined about how horrible the class was all the way there. I doubt we'll become friends or anything because we never even got off the subject of how horrible 168 is, but its nice to know I'm not too big of a freak to walk to class with. Of course, that'll probably change after a month of writing "Monkey, Toaster, Happiness"

Also: I've decided I love the show Scrubs, just because they have wicked awesome music on there all the time. Tonight they totally had Toad the Wet Sprocket's "Something's Always Wrong" on. And it perfectly caught the moment dramatically, too, I thought. And also, they had Tom Cavanaugh from Ed on, which is another show I like the music (plus just about every other aspect) from.

My back, butt and abdomen area are sore as hell.

And since my life is boring, I spent half my day so far trying to figure out when I'd be doing the type of stuff that would make me sore all over.

Honestly, I fell down a flight of stairs yesterday, and forgot about it by the next day. If I didn't have a blog, I swear my past would be a mystery to me. I'd wake up with a burly Australian and two Swedish midgets in the dumpster behind a Denny's in Omaha Nebraska and have no idea why. And unlike with most people, this memory loss would not be drug induced. Journeying to Omaha and partying down with burly Australians and Swedish midgets at a Denny's just wouldn't make enough of an impression on my absent mind to even remember for more than a day.

Certain police records indicate that I was arrested in Amsterdam's red light district in 1995, but I'll never know anything about it (unless I can find all those mimes again and ask them about it) because I only started the blog in autumn 2001.

Man I have no life.... I have an ACS test tomorrow and a com theory test on friday, but what have I been doing the last half hour?

I went to hotornot.com and am going through rating everyone a 10. One trend I've noticed is that only good looking girls will submit their pics, while any guy seems to have the self confidence for this. Self confidence is good. 10 for you, hot or not.

One other trend I've found (which I find particularly amusing) is that the site tells you when the subject of the picture has last checked their score, and it's NEVER more than a day ago, most of the time it's less than 5 hours ago. People must be desperate for validation.

I'm adopting Ben Kweller because her "already adopted" page was down and I figured he wasn't taken yet. Posting it here until I get the time to do it on the template.

also, this page is righteous, you can make Bush say a speech you create.

I hate how ACS 168 has become a microcosm of my life as a whole.

A grossly exaggerated parody microcosm, but a microcosm nonetheless.

Basically: I'm drowning, and I'm too proud to ask help. I don't want to bother the professor too much, I'm actively frightened of my TA, and the book is not helping me get constructors (an element of object-oriented C++). And things just get worse and worse every week, I don't know what to do.

This day did not start too well.

My alarm didn't go off. I only woke up a half hour late, though, thanks to Igraine calling. She has to study a lot this week and wants me to hold her remote so she won't watch TV instead. She says she has awful willpower.

I'm not inclined to make fun of her though, because I probably have less, in that I'm not even willing to give up my remote, I'd rather just watch the (awful) TV and get the bad grades.

Anyways: I'm scurrying about, trying to get ready for class in time. Then, I remember that I forgot to do a worksheet for the class after my next class. A worksheet about streaming radio over the internet. Hence, I need the computer for it. I don't have time in between classes to do this, so I have to fit this worksheet into my cramped time as well.

Then: my computer won't start. I have this problem all the time, basically all I have to do is turn it on and off about 80 times and it'll eventually turn on. We actually had someone look at it awhile ago. A neighbor we have that works on computers.

He said I had too much stuff clogging up my memory. Or something like that. My opinion is that my ROM-BIOS is messed up. This is based on the fact that as a computer science minor, they told me what bios is once. Also....there was an error message saying I needed someone to fix my bios one of the times it started up. Computer guy is like "no, no. If it only showed once, then it isn't the bios."

Anyway, it looks like he was wrong, because after deleting all the stuff he said to, it still won't start half the time. And I got that error message again another time the other day.

Anyway, all this trying to get my comp started takes even more time.

I finally got it started and got the urls I needed, and rushed off to class.

I fell down a flight of stairs on the way there, that was fun.

Hmmm, this entry is poorly written, even for me.

I have issues with...

excess health society age mother

Take Word Association Test

Eerily accurate.

Well, I have been known to send some weird e-mails (Adam Sandler's crack research team is still probably trying to figure out the one I sent him) but I've never gotten a reply!

Until now!

Here is an e-mail I sent to nanowrimo.org, because I (honestly) was disappointed in the beatnik tee shirt they had to offer:

Hi, I'm a long time listener, first time caller.....

I was looking at the NaNoWriMo tee shirts, and I'm shocked and horrified at the beatnik tee.

You see, this man is no beatnik! Yes, he has the beret, but that only serves to mock beatniks as a whole. This man who masquerades as a beatnik is obviously not a beatnik for 3 reasons:

1) He is not wearing black. Proper beatniks wear black, to express the darkness inherent in the system. I am offended by the wussy sky blue this beatfake is wearing.

2) There is no goatee. All beatniks have goatees. Some female beatniks even go to the extreme of fake goatees. If a beatnick has no goatee, what else is he or she to stroke when deep in thought?

3) No bongos. I know a beatnik or two that is afraid of bongos, but this is deviant behavior. This beatnik needs bongos.

I will not, could not, buy this abomination. Please rectify this immediately.

P.S. What do you think of this quote: "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "

I would really like to know what O tj.

Here is the reply:

Hi Phoe,

Thank you for the feedback. I will take this up with our Beatnik
defamation council at the next board meeting. Something must be done, I
agree.

> P.S. What do you think of this quote: "Love is a snowmobile racing
> across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
> underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "

I like it a lot. Especially the ice weasels. I think I will include an ice
weasel or two in my upcoming novelistic masterwork, "The Ice Weasels Sing
the Songs of Mandy Patinkin." Sounds good, no?

I love this guy now, that was such a great e-mail

Today my England Group had a get-together where we showed each other all the pictures we'd gotten developed.

One bad thing: the prof had it outside again, like his last get together. Does the man not realize that during cold weather, people enjoy the indoors more? Oh well, at least it was warmer than last time.

Also, I had a couple snafu's getting there. Word of advice: Never get directions anywhere from my mother. She makes things a million more times complicated than they have to be, plus the way she tells you takes an hour. "After you get on Linden, there will be a stop light. Go straight. Then there'll be a stop sign, the street it crosses is Pine, I think. Go straight. Then there'll be another stop light, intersecting Willow. Go straight. Then there'll be a street with no sign or light. Go straight. Then there's another street, Locust. Turn right. Once you're on Locust......" It's infuriating, especially if you're in a hurry/late which I was. But, I did make it there. Yay.

Rest of it: Quite good.

Jen had an awesome scrapbook, and we all signed it, and wrote down memories of the trip. Ed's still working on the video, but the footage we have seen is pretty great already. I mooched several doubles off of people, now I have a photo of the guy Cory pimped for me, a photo of this old lady yelling at the tower ravens, a photo of this awesome guy who played the saw at bath, a picture of me drinking my first alcoholic beverage, and a couple of photos of "my makeover" the one night. A couple of people didn't have doubles with them, but are making copies of photos I want too. Mainly, a photo of what I wrote at the Beatles Wall at Abbey Road (I was stupid and took a photo of what everyone else wrote, but not what I wrote), and a photo of my back as I'm walking in the Dover tunnels. I thought it looked pretty cool, and it'd be something I could put on my online account of the trip, because it doesn't show my face*

Socialization was fun as well.... Since Sib and I had our falling out, I am desperate for any human interaction I can get. And this was pretty good, I kind of missed these people.

*I don't want any of you freaks knowing what I look like

Search Requests:

google #4 for: niggas and honkeys

google brazil #39 for: historia do remedio comprimido

#2 on this crazy arabic search engine "baidu" for: big boobs. Obviously, If I'm #2 for big boobs, this search engine doesn't have a large scope, considering all the porn out there. The question is, if this Arabic search engine has so few sites that I come up #2 for big boobs, how the hell did I get listed on it? I find this a tad frightening

I was having some fun today at the expense of my sister's last will and testament.

If she died, her husband would be the executer of her will. If he died before her, Dad would be. If both of them died before her, I'm next in line.

She picked Dad first because he knows the most about estate planning of any of us. She picked me second because Mom is cracked already, she'd go into hysterics if my sister died, and be no help at all. So I'm next in line.

So we were all talking about it today for some reason, and mom asked who came after my sis's husband. When sis said Dad, mom actually sounded a little, "Why not me?" so sis hurredly added, "He knows the most about estate planning." So we weren't about to admit that I came before she did.

So we ended up talking about it at length.

Sis: So Dad's the first one in line
Me: *mouthing behind mom's back* Then me! Then me! *outloud* Oh Yeah!
Dad: Yea, but her husband is first
Me: *mouthing* Then Dad, then me! *outloud* Oh Yeah!
Mom: Who's going to do it if you and your husband die at the same time?
Sis: I think his little brother will take care of his will, and Dad will take care of me.
Me: *mouthing* If not dad, then me! *outloud* Oh Yeah!

etc. so on. And Mom never once wondered why I kept up with the Duffman-style Oh Yeah's. Who knew wills could be so funny?

Okay, dumb story. But I thought it was funny :P

I know I'm a horrible person, but I've decided I blanketly hate a demographic group.

Middle-aged midwestern women

I was at a movie tonight, and for the 15 minutes beforehand I was subjected to the torture of overhearing their conversation.

1) Why the midwestern part matters: Even though I'm in Illinois, not Minnesota (no offence Minnesotans), these women were but one small step away from the mother from Bobby's World's whole "don'cha know"/"there then yet" thing. The most interesting person in the world would sound like a complete moron. "E equals M C squared, don'cha know." "To be or not to be, that is the question, don'cha know." Ahhhhaahahaharg. It makes my ears bleed.

2) I am a midwestern woman. Is there a magic age when I become like these people? Am I going to wake up and be like, "Herbert likes it when I make the pot roast, but I'm feeling in a meat loaf mood tonight." I like crafts now, but crafts are a middle aged midwestern woman's life. I'm not even kidding, they talked about it for fifteen minutes straight, except for the part about how children today are too disrespectful, and what they're going to serve at the next tupperware party. I will honestly kill myself. Or get someone right now to promise to do it if I turn out like that. Aahaarg. I wanted to jump up and scream, "Can you hear yourself? Were you ever my age? You married some guy and had his kids, and when they grew up you didn't have anything else to do anymore, so you try to fill the yawning void in your life by making doilies and embroidering pictures of cats onto things. You hurt my ears. And it's not just the midwestern accent, you make my ears bleed with your talk of cross stitch, and how horrible some three year old is for throwing a balled up paper towel at your head, and how much you like cooking hearty midwestern meals. You need to either have a mid-life crisis, or start reading Sartre. (I reccomend the latter) Pick one. Now."

3) they were so......cheerful

***Update: I'm so obsessed that I combed the web looking for a sound file of the mom on Bobby's World just so that I could show people who don't know what it sounds like, what it sounds like.

***Update: I combed again, and the second "yeah" on this soundfile is the accent I'm talking about, though its from the movie Fargo, which takes place in North Dakota. Thank you, Mikkie's Wav Pool (it was either this one, or a sad one where this woman is talking about this tornado that wrecked her town)

A reply to someone's dumb comment under my googlism for Angry White Girl:

--the comment
uh... i dont think they were talking about you.

--the reply
Duh, I know. I mean, I did the search on my actual name too. Do I really think I'm the best Kevin Smith Movie of the Trilogy or an 8 year old yorkie? No. Neither do I think I am really the one they were refering to when they talk about Angry White Girl.

Also, I DO take pride in the fact that though the other Angry White Girl "is the shit," that I'm the one who freaking came up with the name Angry White Girl before she did.

AND, I KNOW I'm the phoemeister that's #1 for kosher, so that does provide me with some contentment.


I realize I'm being bitchy, but I AM Angry White Girl, and I have been programming for hours today, so I take it as my license to be Pissy McBitchface to-day

/***********Incomprehensible C++ Rant*******************

OBJECT ORIENTED PROGRAMMING CAN BLOW ME. I HATE classes. ESPECIALLY those little bastard constructors. I don't make the constructors return anything, and yet the compiler gets all pissy and "constructors don't return anything." And I'm like, "I know that, biznitch! I'm not making them return anything. Why do you think I'm making them return anything? Don't make me bust a cap in yo' ass!!" but then they still won't work. SEE YOU IN HELL CONSTRUCTORS

Ostream is unidentified? Bullshit! It's right there! You guys came up with it! And now you're telling me I made it up? What the hell??????? An OSTREAM is an OSTREAM. Why can't you identify my ostream? If you don't like my ostream, you can ram it!

**********End Incomprehensible C++ Rant*************/

This is what several hours of programming will do to me.

yay, I'm not the only one who decides to make random things into computer source code

Also, I appreciate the title, "My Ass Is A Pundit."

It mocks the word pundit, which I like because I HATE the word pundit. Why does every ^%&*( person who watches CNN start up a weblog and start calling themselves pundits? What the hell is a pundit anyway? They don't seem to make puns. And I think the point of being a pundit is being clever, but most self-proclaimed pundits aren't.

Anyway, I'd like the US to declare a new war: a war on pundits. If a US citizen wants to be a pundit, they should get a license from the government. No, in order to post their opinions they don't need a license. But there should be a license on people who call themselves pundits, it should be a federal offense to call yourself a pundit just because you like politics and *think* you're clever.

But I can respect someone claiming their ass is a pundit.

Anyway, this is all an elaborate lead in to the fact that I'm procrastinating, blogging about pundits, because I reeeally reeeally don't want to do my pre lab, and I'll do anything to avoid it.

What Egyptian Deity are you? go to:the quiz!

Googlism for: angry white girl
angry white girl is the shit
angry white girl is one of the best rants that i've seen in years

Googlism for: phoemeister

phoemeister is #1 for kosher

Googlism for: phoe

phoe is a 20th
phoe is the returning champ
phoe is just as violent as ever
phoe is at it again daaaamnnn
phoe is opgericht in 1988 met als doelstelling het bevorderen
phoe is 9 and a half months now but she is quite early for her line
phoe is just over 6 months now
phoe is deprived of his five senses and the female
phoe is one very big computer guru
phoe is a quiet girl who can be a little gullible at times
phoe is still in a transmembrane orientation in the translocase
phoe is different from sequential order because it was renumbered according to that of ompf
phoe is a useful marker for activity of the regulon
phoe is ranked 13 and has played for 15m in 2 days real name
phoe is ranked 1 and has played for 1h30m in 2 days real name
phoe is rather firmly attached to carnage's braid
phoe is at it again
phoe is a 16 year old girl who lives in the ghetto speck of a town known to its inhabitants as shit
phoe is ranked 14 and has played for 22h37m in 365 days
phoe is supposed to be coming down
phoe is an international student currently studying at virginia tech
phoe is listed under wh the one in tx is not listed but there are two under womens names
phoe is on the comfy seat
phoe is a good way to go
phoe is a
phoe is being played because it wins
phoe is that it is easy to control the seas and the land?
phoe is specialized in the
phoe is a 16 year old girl who lives in the ghetto speck of a town
phoe is learnin php and that's l33t within itself
phoe is accelerated compared with the non modified phou at ph10 and thermal properties and morphology of both materials develop
phoe is dead
phoe is one of the karen refugee camps situated in amphur umphang
phoe is just making an excuse for being a pig ;
phoe is killed by alecia for making untrue statements*

grr, I edited my template to reflect the fact that I made a new comic today, but the new "freshness date" won't show up, just the old date. All I have to say is daaaaymn.

Also: art imitates life. Yes, I AM going to write a novel. I'm starting on November first, and I plan to have a 50,000 word novel(la) by the end of the month. It may not be pretty. It may not even be readable. But it will be a novel, and it'll be mine.

Where did I get this stupid idea? Bitsy.

Bitsy's doing the same thing, it's part of a thing called the National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo.

And: yes, I did think of including a dyslexic hare krishna and discarded the idea because I didn't know enough about dyslexia.

Search requests:

First of all, there's the obligatory mis-spelled masturbation searches, mostly involving "homemade devices" or "vicks."

Then, there's the obligatory "Vicks + toenail fungus" or "vicks + fungus" or "vicks + pimples" or "can I eat vicks vaporub" hits. I swear, this blog has gotten more hits in its short life for "vicks + fungus" searches than it has gotten hits of people who actually want to read it.

Lastly, there's the obligatory "free ponr" searches. PONR, PONR, FREE PONR FOR ALL. Dumbasses

Here are the novel ones:

8 on google for: how to get rid of ass pimples

And my favorite: I'm the #2 google hit for: prosthetic hook gallery That's dead sexy. Honest.

UPDATE: some bizzare arabic search engine : I'm number 2 of 2 for: mp3 + Too legit to quit

OH yea, hammer's coming back: arabic style! Can't touch this!

I walked out of Mass Com today.

They were about to have a guest speaker, this guy who is part of this one study abroad program specifically tailored for com majors. I walked out because I'd already heard his spiel in Com Theory last friday.

It made me depressed the first time. Yes, I shouldn't whine. I got to go to England. I loved England. Not everyone gets the chance to go to England.

But the man's description of Austria (where his program takes place), as well as such accounts as this and this make me wonder if I got everything I could've out of it. The only English person I really interacted with was Wanda, who I'd known anyway. And the poor girl barely got a word in, with my nervous babbling.

On my free time, I never went out. I stayed home and watched crappy English TV. (Not that English TV is crappier than American TV. I'm just saying the English TV I watched this summer happened to be crappy English TV) When I did go out apart from the group, it was touristy English places. I never really ended up experiencing English culture. About the quirkiest encounter I had was with this guy on the bus who told me everything, everything he knew about the U.S.

I probably got even less out of Ireland.

Also, the Austria man makes me feel bad that I didn't get an entire semester to spend in England, or the time to chunnel into France. He touts Austria as the center of Europe, and goes on and on about how cheap/easy it is to get to Italy, France, Germany, Switzerland, Hungry, etc. from Austria. I'm the biggest Europhile ever, I LOVE how old things are. Americans...we have such little history. What little history we have, we disconnect ourselves from. But there's pubs in London that have been there hundreds of years, that you can still go into and do pubby things in. Places that the doorstep is worn down to a scary slope. How many people does it take to wear down a doorstep like that? We went to a pub where Samuel Johnson used to frequent.

London predates the Roman empire. Not only London, but places like Bath, which also predates the Romans, but has been built on layer by layer as each new civilization discovered the healing minerals. It's awesome to think of the sheer amount of years and people have gone into the shaping of a place. Even more striking--remnents of old civilizations preserved, like Stonehenge. Sure, some army knocked down some of the stones, and there's a HUGE tourist facility surrounding the place. But it's still awe-inspiring.

I would love to see places like that in a country like Austria, or maybe visit the surrounding countries. I doubt, however, that I'll have the resources to do this. I don't mean just money, I mean time. When you get a real job, unless you're a teacher or someone else who gets a seasonal "time off," you're lucky if you get two weeks a year to do anything. It's hard to see a large part of Europe (or other places I'd like to see--China, Japan, India) in two weeks. And I AM talking about money to some degree. It's a million times cheaper to do things as a student than it is to do them as an adult. And of course, the Austria man hammers this home. He makes me feel like I'm never going to go to Europe again, much less Asia.

Also, he makes Europe sound so great. This actually annoys me a little--he talked about how much better their education and crime rate are, etc. I believe their education system is superior --in some respects. I can easily believe their crime rate is better. BUT, I can't believe some of the other crap he said, at least in respect to England.

--Less car accidents. Because, "When people actually see a red light, they stop. And pedestrians only cross when they're supposed to, even when there's no one around. There's no jaywalking in Europe." Bullshit. I saw people jaywalking all over the place in London. And not just tourists. And several of those damned double-decker buses tried to run me over, even when I did have the right of way. Though I do admit it's much harder to get a driver's license in Europe than it is here.

--Everything's cleaner and better. No one litters. Fuck that. The sidewalks were covered, I mean COVERED in old discarded gum. Now, I can't compare to a large city like New York or Chicago, but there was certainly more gum on the sidewalks of London than there were in my somewhat small town. Also--it was old gum. Not because people have stopped dropping gum, but they have these street sweepers that get rid of the gum. And other litter. So, while I didn't see too much litter in England, it might be because they SWEEP UP THE DAMN LITTER. Plus, in Canterbury I saw a trash can that specifically entreated the reader NOT to litter. Why would it ask people not to litter if no one littered in the first place? Oh, and also in London--I didn't litter, but I knew several of my group did, because there's about a MILE in between public trash cans in London. I definately bet it makes it a million more times tempting to litter if there's no trash can around. (Though I do realize London is short on trash cans because of IRA unpleasantness)

Anyway, I hate being told that Europeans are better than us. I mean, I know most of the world thinks we suck, because of the way we handle politics. Which, we do suck the way we handle politics. But I won't stand by and be told that Europeans are superhuman non-litterer/perfect pedestrians and drivers.

So I figured hearing this again would not be fun. I missed some of class too, but it's not like I find class fascinating anyway.

Weirdness: I've just noticed that (maybe for awhile now) my advertising banner has been gone. Has some kind benefactor/benefactress paid to get rid of it, as the ad itself so desperatly implores?

More likely it's a glitch, but I still find myself curious...

For people who don't know, Kilgore Trout is a re-occurring character in Kurt Vonnegut novels. The character himself is an author, and his stories are frequently mentioned in passing in the rest of the book. I just found a webpage with all the excerpts from Vonnegut novels that mention Trout stories, it's so cool, I find myself reading and reading, they're such interesting story ideas.

Today, I went to the Center for the Performing arts on campus.



Okay, I didn't get to see the room in the picture, I was only in an outside corridor where the box office is. I was there to purchase tickets for the Halloween Jazz concert, which means on the 28th, I'll get to see



I'm not really the biggest jazz fan ever, but I enjoyed the Halloween Jazz concert last year mightily. I actually never thought I liked jazz, I was required to go to the concert for my Music Appreciation class, and I ended up loving it. And that was in the old hall, not the nice new



Only thing I'm not loving about the new hall: it's not free like it was at the old one.

Anyway, I hope to have an enjoyable time.

Last semester, I took Career Choice (great help that's been), and at the beginning of the class, we had to do a timeline about the job-related stuff we have done in our life, and will do in our life, with a couple of details. Anyway, the huge posterboard with it on is taking up too much space, so I'm posting it here. (some details are out dated, I believe I did this january of '02) The beginning's pretty boring, but when I get to the future, I got creative :P

• 2/82 I came into the world on a brisk but sunny day in February


• 8/88 On a balmy day in August, I start my first day at elementary school


• 5/99 I became a National Merit Scholar


• 4/00 I start my first job at Capacity Inc., a "mature" women's clothing store.


• 6/00 I graduate from high school


• 7/00 My local Capacity Inc. store closes because of a lack of customers and a general unwillingness of the general Bloomington-Normal population to work at a Capacity, Inc. store, rendering Capacity, Inc. unable to replace my local manager, who ran off to join the army.


• 8/00 I begin schooling at ISU where I've been accepted into the honors program and where I meet my best friend, Sib


• 12/01 I begin working as a desk attendant at ISU


• 1/02 I apply to the British Culture and Institutions porgram at ISU, and I get in!
  
• 8/02 I have a great time in England, and learn a lot.


• 12/03 I drop out of college and form a band called Piggle Sniff with my friends Wanda and Kin. I'm the lead singer/guitarist, Wanda the drummer, and Kin the bassist.


• 5/07 We have our first hit! Our record goes gold!


• 6/07 I meet Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I immediately sweep him off his feet, and we get married barely two weeks later


• 9/07 Greenday sues Piggle Sniff for copyright infringement, and wins


• 1/08 The band's growing self-destructive spiral becomes apparent when Piggle Sniff plays at the Rosie O'Donnell show: Kin assaults Rosie, Wanda begins vomitting onstage, and I break my guitar yelling various profanities at the audience


• 2/08 Kin is imprisoned for assaulting Ms. O'Donnell, putting the band on temporary hiatus


• 5/11 The band releases its followup to its self-titled album released in '07. The album, titled "We hate Greenday and Rosie O'Donnell," does poorly both commercially and critically. Some critics attribute this to the song "Soccer Hooligan," basically 7 minutes of screaming and racial slurs, while others slammed, "Die, Rosie O'Donnell," formed of the word "die" over and over as shrieked by bassist Kin. One critic said, "The whole album is crap!" Rosie O'Donnell hires a bodyguard.


• 9/12 I wake up in a Holliday in bathtub in Omaha, Nebraska, missing a kidney and having no idea how I got there.


• 7/14 I catch my husband Dave Grohl cheating on me with Wanda. Shortly after this, the band dissolves and Dave leaves both Wanda and I.


• 2/17 I release a solo album titled "I can't believe you slept with my husband, you @#$%^!" While becoming semi popular amoung middle aged women, this album does not have much commercial success.


• 4/19 Piggle Sniff reunites in order to release a remix of our hit album. This sparks a reunion tour


• 3/20 VH1 does a behind the music special on Piggle Sniff


• 6/20 Kin and Wanda realize that they are washed up when they see the VH1 special. They create a mutual suicide pact, and kill themselves


• 10/20 Saddened by the death of my friends, my drug abuse reaches new depths. I OD in a Holiday Inn bathtub in Omaha Nebraska at age 38.

We were also supposed to pick overall trends/theories from our "life" and my top one was "Drug abuse leads to poor judgement calls."

I got an A++.

in a (non) related story, my Phin Enterprises partner thinks his sousaphone is out to get him.

Just say no to homicidal sousaphones.

Voila, my (very) amateur comics

ACS broke my will to live
broke my will to live
broke my will to live
I thought I was getting better...
but then Applied Computer Science
broke my will to live

Yea, with the help of the Brunching Shuttlecocks' Alanis Lyric Generator, this is a song I've actually written. It even has a tune.

Anyway, in ACS this morning I had it in my head, and I ended up writing it over and over in my notebook.

Another three letter acronym bothering me today: IBS. I've had this for a while now, and I used to talk about it all the time, but it happens so often anymore I don't even bother mentioning it to people anymore. In fact, my parents (at least my mom) is all convinced that I'm better now. DUDE, I just don't talk about it anymore? Who wants to hear all about my daily adventures in Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Anyway, I'm just feeling especially crappy today. I woke up at six thirty in the morning, from a dream where it felt my abdomen was going to explode, and of course when I woke up, I felt like my abdomen was going to explode. I ended up managing to get back to sleep, but when I woke up again at the proper time, I felt about the worst I've ever felt. I managed to get it under control before I went to ACS, but then on the way back to the dorm, I began to feel kind of bad again, though thankfully only the "normal" bad.

Why me?

Living just isn't hard enough
burn me alive inside

Okay, I find this hilarious: Today I was e-mailed by the head "deVryette."

Okay, to make you understand the hilariousness, I have to start at the beginning.

First of all, this blog sort of has a joint Message Board with Finger Lickin' Good because when she started up her blog, we would have (friendly) insult matches on each other's guestbooks. No one ever visits it, not even my cofounder (though I check in from time to time, and have it linked all over the the blog). Anyway, it's an EZboard, and they have a directory over all their boards.

Anyway, when you start up an EZboard, you can put it in the directory under certain pre-defined subjects. Except for a couple band names, we put ourselves under the dorkiest, weirdest, obscurist, categories. Mostly really cheesy Sci-Fi TV shows that only lasted a couple seasons in the first place. Stuff like Space: Above and Beyond or Seaquest.

One day I did a search on their directory (months and months ago) and found out that we were the ONLY people in the Space: Above and Beyond (which makes me wonder why they'res a whole category for it) and one out of two for the SeaQuest category. As a joke, I thought I'd visit the other SeaQuest board and be like, "hey." Well it turns out that the other message board was dedicated to William deVry, some guy that had actually acted on one episode of SeaQuest. Well, I have to give him credit, it was one of those two parters.

Okay, but the hilarious part? There's several women at the board who apparently just LOVE this guy. I swear, I SWEAR, they call themselves the "deVryettes." (that makes me think of the Rimmettes in Red Dwarf, btw). I posted "hey, who's William deVry?" and they were all shocked that I didn't know him, and told me about the SeaQuest thing, and how he was in three episodes of StarGate and all. Even deVry himself said hi to me eventually.

And hey, if he's good enough to act side by side with MacGyvver for three episodes of anything, I have no problem with him or his deVryettes. Plus, I just now looked at his website, and he was in an episode of Nash Bridges, too! And he's Canadian! And soon he's going to costar in a movie with the sister from Growing Pains. How cool is that? Damn cool! I even signed the petition up on the board to bring back his soap opera character, proclaiming to the world how wicked cool I think he is!

Aaaanyway, I apparently ended up on some mailing list or something, because today I got a message from the head DeVryette. Does this make me a DeVryette now? I think maybe I just like saying DeVryette.

Bleh. It's a wonder that Thursdays don't permanently make this into the Pissy McBitchface blog. Why do I hate thursdays, and this one in general?

1) I have to get up earlier than on any other day of the week.
2) I have ACS lab. As I often mention: ACS broke my will to live. Or shall do so sometime in the future. Under normal conditions I hate the lab, but today I really hated it, because I apparently don't know how the hell to do loops that run until the end of the file. Usually if I don't finish, I come in and spend even more of my time on the stupid thing. This time I was like "fuck it!" and submited 3 programs that don't work. Yeah. Especially bad since I came into lab an hour late last time and missed a lab quiz. And that I don't do the homework because it's moronic. And that the next major program I have to turn in involves doing the very thing that I couldn't seem to make work in lab today.
3) Mass com test. Probably won't do that well.
4) Flunked (got a 0) on an Anthro quiz. I LIVE and DIE for anthro, I couldnt' believe it. But the first question dealt with how many millions of years ago something or other happened, and I have NO head for numbers. On the last quiz he did the same thing and I got that one wrong too. When there are two digits, I always seem to get one right and not the other. Bleh. The other question was what discovery did they find at some archeological site or something.

I loved K-12. Well, at least liked. But college sucks bloody donkey nuts.


In a world that's ugly and a lie
Its hard to even want to try

I've updated the "Missing Stories" portion of my "trip to england" page with the first missing story, "English people LOVE monkeys."

Eeeeenjoy.

You are Heavy Metal! Angry, sad, and disillusioned, you are Heavy Metal. You are the embodiment of the darkness of the human heart. Your main themes are sadness, anger, and hopelessness. You are frequently misunderstood by others and many link you to devil worship. However, those willing to look through the shell of darkness and anger find you to be very intelligant, poetic, and artistic. Too bad your inclination to look for the beauty in darkness and your general attitude of frustration with humanity as a whole tends to send most people running for the nearest exit. But despite that, you wouldn't have it any other way.

Take the what music genre are you quiz by PsychosisX!

I'm a tie between the three below, should I be frightened?


Click here to take the quiz!

As a Dark Faerie, you are … well … dark. You can be very mean during times, not caring for anyone except yourself. You may not get along very well with others, and have a hard time connecting to them. You are very independent, and like it that way. You find yourself most happy when you are alone doing what you want, and you become a better person during those times.


Click here to take the quiz!

As a Fire Faerie, you are unique and different. You set your own styles, and don’t follow others. You are out going, and love to be the center of attention. You are also very comical, and can put a smile on anyone’s face. But sometimes you may go too far, and hurt others in the process of being funny.


Click here to take the quiz!

As the Soup Faerie, you are very kind. You always put others before yourself, and will help anyone you can. But because of your kind heart, others may take advantage of you without you realizing it. You may also not wear the nicest cloths, because you are too busy giving to others to pamper yourself.

So I'm....the meanest fairy, the most unknowingly meanest fairy, and the nicest fairy?

I wish I were less book-smart.

At least when I was little. Because I got used to not having to study, so now I DESPISE LOATHE etc. studying. So I don't. So I get worse grades now.

Anyway, I just bombed a COM 111 test just because I couldn't bear to study it. The sad thing is I have a COM 160 class tomorrow and I probably won't study for that either.

I think my music choices have been especially masochistic lately.

1) I've had "Come Around" by Rhett Miller on repeat for the last couple days. The chorus is "Will I be lonely for the rest of my life" over and over. Now imagine me alone in the dark, bathed in the glow of my computer listening to that song on repeat. I THOUGHT I listened to the song because it was good and I like Rhett, but then:
2) Today I downloaded Eleanor Rigby. Yea. Eleanor "all the lonely people" Rigby. Pathetic.

I DID download a whole bunch of other Beatles songs (I feel guilty about ripping off a whole lot of songs by one band, but I don't about the Beatles because Michael Jackson owns the rights) at the same time, though, plus a couple solos of John and George's. Man I loved "Set on You" in the 80's. It's still good, STILL good. In a cheesy way. But most good things ARE cheesy.

Anyhoo, I am lonely. I was so glad when Igraine called me last night. That, by the way, is where the deoderant thing in the previous post came from. To appreciate the conversation, I have to tell you that the line leading to the alzheimers/deoderant went thusly: commie aldi macaroni (that would make a good band name, btw), kraft macaroni, the Philip Morris company, people suing tobacco companies, people suing deoderant companies because the active ingredient in deoderant apparently facilitates alzheimers in lab rats.

Igraine: Yea, some day people are going to start suing deoderant companies.
Me: Why?
I: because it gives you Alzheimer's
Me: Huh?
I: Aluminum Zirconium, the active ingredient in anti-perspirant, helps cause Alzheimer's disease.
M: hunh. Really?
I: Yea. That's why I only use deoderant, not anti-perspirant.
M: There's a difference?
I: Yea. Anti-perspirant stops sweating. With deoderant, you still sweat, it just makes it smell better.
M: Err... I sweat like a pig now, I'd hate to see what my pits are like if I give up the fight and just attempt to make it smell better.
I: Nah, you still sweat because anti-perspirant sucks and doesn't stop sweat very well anyway. And it gives you alzheimers! Give up the anti perspirant!
M: But I have degree! My body heat turns it on! Anyway, what deoderants don't have anti-perspirant in them?
I: Mens deoderants, I use right guard. ALL women's deoderants have it in.
M: That's okay. I can't use Secret anyway, I tried it once and I was allergic and ended up with these horrible pit-rashes. Specially formulated for a woman, my ass!

Then it continued in the vein of her trying to convince me to use deoderant and not anti-perspirant.

Oh and commie aldi macaroni: She thinks Aldi is communist, because when you go in there they only have one register and the line looks like people lining up for stuff in communist russia or something. And she has macaroni from there, that we sadly talk about all the time.

I'm so annoyed: do to my idiocy and the idiocy of others, I have been trying for 2 days now to get this packet I need for ACS (applied computer science). It's lecture notes, and instead of making us buy them all at once at the beginning of the year, halfway through they're just like, "Go buy the other half from rapid print now."

Monday: I didn't have any money. I got my mom to bring some that I had at home and had laid out on my bed that morning because I'd meant to put it in my wallet
Tuesday: I go in there with my twenty, (the packet's five) and the guy there says:

Him: We don't have change for a twenty
Me: You don't have change for a twenty?
Him: We don't have change for a twenty.
Me: Um, what am I supposed to do? I really need this packet, and I only have a twenty.
Him: blank stare
Me: What am I supposed to do? (sometimes when I'm frustrated, the last word in my sentences is an octave higher and whinier than the rest of the sentence)
Him: *my shrill whininess seems to bring him out of his stupor* Maybe you could get change at the Alamo (bookstore)
Me: But I don't want to walk all the way to the Alamo...... (especially if I didn't know if they'd be like "you have to buy something first, and I'd been there earlier and there was a mile at the register a mile long)

Then, when I came back, I totally had forgotten about the packet, and I went into the lab (same building) to work on my latest program assignment. Five minutes in, I realized what I'd done, but I didn't want to leave because to get back into the lab you have to fill out 8 things, show 2 forms of ID, give them your mother's maiden name, and sign something in blood. Then, by the time I was done in the lab, Rapid Print was closed. Grrr.

Maybe I'm getting alzheimers disease from my deoderant. (The alzheimers deoderant remark will be explained later, I just have to get to bleeeh class now. And TRY to pick up that damned packet)

Funny search engine referrals:

10 on search.com for: men forced to use tampons.

Dude, gross. Is that even anatomically possible?

16 on yahoo for: star wars photo pee storm troopers

Man..... do they aim better with their pee than they do with blasters, then? What a weird fetish.

Speaking of weird fetishes (not to mention bad spelling) I'm # 2 (of 3) on google for: ghetto ponr tv

Which Character from The Last Unicorn Are YOU?
Find out now! Only from the Quiz Junkie

"There is much more to me than you know. I hide much, and beneath my clownish exterior lays a very gifted person. I am... Schmendrick!"

Yay, Schmendrick's my favorite.

I have to say, I don't blame people if they think I'm weird. I just thought of this a little while ago while I was in the utility room microwaving noodles while wearing a bathrobe with cartoon froggies on it and the obligatory towel turban (getting dressed after I got out of the shower took a backseat priority to having noodles).

Half-cooked, rancid, noodles, might I add. Rancid because I brought them from home when I came back to school for the week, and I let them sit out the whole day before remembering to put them in the fridge. I figured, hey, it's in tupperware, and I can also try to heat the rancid out of it before I eat it. This dream was dashed when the floor microwave (we're not allowed to have ones of our own) busted.

I still ate them. I noticed a funny taste, and then remembered that I'd let them set out. Then I ate quite a few more before I decided I probably shouldn't be eating half-cooked noodles with rancid butter on them. So if I don't blog for a couple of days, it's definately food poisoning catching up with me.

Anyway, another thing about being weird--I meant to post this yonks ago, but I was all depressed and posted something all depressy instead. I have some five dollar Farm And Fleet(TM) flip flops that broke awhile ago. I was so annoyed, because I ended up walking around campus wearing one sandal and and carrying around the other like the weirdo that I am. Anyway, later that week I REALLY wanted to wear them, so I stapled them back together. And of course they broke again. And of course I ended up carrying it around. I'm wondering, is this going to be a trend for me? Are residents of this campus to know me as "that girl who carries around a sandal"? I can see people talking:

Person1: Hey, did you see that girl on campus today who was carrying around a sandal?
Person2: Oh, yea. I think so, she seems to do it all the time.
P3: DUDE! I know who you guys are talking about! Does she also always wear these headphones that are taped together with masking tape?
P1: I think so. Does she also wear around this pink and pastel blue flannel that looks like she bought it in 7th grade?
P3: Yea. It's like she tried to buy into the whole grunge flannel thing, but then was too stupid to realize that pastel is not grunge. And still thinks it's cool to wear around or something.
P2: I wonder why she carrys around the sandal.
P1: Maybe she's too cheap to buy new ones.
P3: But they look like they cost, like, 5 bucks at farm and fleet.
P2: I'm wondering, is this going to be a trend for her?

Okay, okay....they wouldn't know all those details about the dorky flannel I wear around.

Ugh, I've been killing myself for about an hour looking for this on google (which is bad, because I'm good at looking through google and finding what I want)

I thought maybe if I mention it on the blog it would spark someone's memory and they'd tell me what they know, so here goes the description:

I'm trying to find a book I read years and years ago, of which I don't remember the title or the author. The basic premise was there was a Noah-esque flood, and the family in charge of collecting the animals accidently screws up and leaves the unicorns behind, and that is why there are no unicorns today, they didn't survive the flood. Specific details: I think it was a young adult novel. The protagonist is this young woman who was (I think) riding on a bus or train or something, and she sees someone with a hamster or gerbil or mouse and the woman (I think) with the hamster had actually bought it in order to feed it to her cat. The protagonist thinks this is mean, and ends up buying the hamster off of the mean woman at twice the cost. Then, when the prot. gets off the bus, for some reason she's in the middle of a gang or something, and they step on the hamster. At one point she meets this nice stranger guy, and goes to his house, and (I think) starts falling in love with him. Anyhow, his family is in charge of the whole two of each thing. The unicorns they have are a couple who just had a baby unicorn. They couldn't catch the baby, so they just have the parents. The mom unicorn is so distraught that one night the prot slips out and lets her free to look for the baby. Soon the male unicorn starts dieng because it misses the female one so much. Then they let him out to look for her. They end up finding the dieng unicorns in a convienience store or something, and the flood starts, and i think the prot and the guy she likes are stuck there, or get out of there in the nick of time after the flood or something. Anyway, it's driving me nuts that I can't re-find the book.

Awwww.... some guy named Derek thinks I'm interesting! Or more interesting than him, at anyrate. Which, I'll take that as a big compliment. He's pretty interesting, if only because he's got good Canadian jokes. ;)

By the way, I kid because I love. I suspect over half of my readership (such as it is) is Canadian. (And Pablo's cool, though he doesn't update often enough.)

ROFLMAO. I'm watching Mallrats on TV right now and watching them try to dub over Jay's swearing is so hilarious.

WOOO! I'm #6 on french google for: prosthetic arm girl hook

I'm right underneath a page titled "Priest Porn" Eugh *shivers*

The blurb for #1 is: "... choice, becomes landlord of his grandmother's all-girl ... hit single - comes with an extra head, prosthetic leg and arm, small monkey figure, hook ... "

I love you, google.

Really Gay

Ugh, I hate people. I'm in a com theory class right now, and we're always doing little skits to illustrate the theories. I ALWAYS end up with the one group that doesn't want to be funny. I'm someone who is continually trying (trying the key word) to be funny, and I get stuck with the one group that doesn't want to be funny. It makes me insane with jealousy, watching all the funny groups.

In addition, I think a certain portion of the class thinks I'm gay now. Our stupid group was illustrating this one theory about how people open up more and more as the relationship goes on (yea, the stupid theories are all so "no duh"). Anyway, our fake conversation starts to go towards boyfriends. Someone said "me and my boyfriend do nasty things to each other." The only other "personal" confession about relationships left was "I'm gay." At least it seemed so to me, so I said "I'm gay." And then my group (of other females) looked at me like they were scared that I was going to put the mack on them or something. Sometimes I wonder if people think I really am gay, and that's why guys don't hit on me, but it's not like I have women hitting on me either, so I'm probably just a loser.

Oh, and I think I'm obsessed with gayness anyway. A couple months ago I totally convinced a guy online that I was gay. I'm not sure if he bought it, because I've known him for a few years w/o saying anything about being gay, and I just "came out" all of a sudden because I was bored and he was annoying me.

Also, I think this one guy I went to high school thinks I'm a lesbian. He wanted to ask one of my friends out, and she was sort of turning down every guy at that point, because she's very picky and could afford to be so because I think every male in the school had the hots for her. Anyway, he asked some of her friends if she'd say yes if he asked her out, and they accidently said this poorly phrased, "She doesn't go out with boys." (they swear up and down that they meant she was finicky, not gay) Anyway, my friend and I were horsing around in the hall some days later, and he said, "Get a room!" and ever since then I tell everybody that story.

That is all.

Your Secret Fetish Is Fat People!

When it comes to sex, you like it big and beautiful... especially your partners.
While some may say you like fat chicks or guys, you simply like more love.
Head over to the nearest Krispy Kreme to find that dream partner

What's *Your* Secret Fetish? Click Here to Find Out!
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Your Inner Blonde is Anna Nicole Smith

Sexy at any size, but a little whacked in the head.
Some people say you're a golddigger, but we think you really loved that old guy.
That's scary!

Who's *Your* Inner Dumb Blonde? Click Here to Find Out!

You Should Be On The Real World!

Okay drama queen or king. Just point at camera at you,
and you'll do your thing. You've got what it takes to rule
on the Real World, but just don't kill your roomates!

What Reality TV Show Should You Be On? Click Here to Find Out!

I have too much time on my hands.

Welp, I registered for next semester's classes today. Not as painful as in some years, but I am annoyed. To register for my ACS classes they give people with majors (instead of my minoring in it) first crack.

Okay, I can see how people need to get their major classes to graduate on time---but I need my minor classes to line up like ducks in a row in order to graduate on time.

Anyway, I could live with that if I weren't in the Honors Program specifically in order to get early registration. At this point, there is no other benefit to the honors program, and I do a hella lot of extra work to stay in. And ACS is thwarting me, thwarting me, dammit!

--UPDATE-- Someone told me this picture was a fake. Still funny, but also fake. Yep.

Welp, I'm sticking with com. People keep pointing out most people don't end up doing what their major was, so......I figure I can afford to stay in this.

Yesterday: I helped put in my sister's new mailbox. A construction effort that didn't end up in tears, for once.

Today: I saw The Transporter. Good, in a mind-numbingly brainless action sort of way.

Last night: I had a dream where Sib came back and wanted to be my friend again. So depressing waking up..

Oh, and I also forgot to blog that the guy who plays Jack on Will and Grace is now my patron saint.

Why?

Because he went to my lame-ass college and has still managed to have a successful career.

Of course he's more likable and talented than I am. And I doubt he's half as forgetful as me. *sobs*

Anyway, this is my lame segue into the fact that I'm an idiot. I totally walked into ACS lab this morning a full hour late because I screwed up when I set my alarm. Hell, I didn't even realize I was an hour late until half way through the time I had been there, I was looking at the lab description and noticed that there was a quiz that we hadn't taken, which got me to thinking, which made me realize I came in an hour late and am incredibally stupid.

Yes, I can program computers to do all sorts of complicated things, but when it comes to actually setting my damn alarm, I do it an hour late. So I've missed participation points, and I missed a quiz. Not a big deal--one participation grade and one quiz are dropped during the semester, and you get to pick which. EXCEPT IT'S A MAJOR DEAL BECAUSE I WAS STUPID AND SKIPPED LAB A COUPLE LABS AGO, so I've royally screwed myself.

So right now I'm praying to *whatever Jack from Will and Grace's real name is* to make everything all right, and going to go and start working on some of the stuff from lab I didn't get a chance to get because I'M A FREAK WHO CAME IN AN HOUR LATE.

also, I'm working on an essay entitled "English People LOVE Monkeys," and I've discovered a 70 minute long piece of music in my My Music folder called "Eric Morillo - MOS sessions" and I have no idea who Eric Morillo or MOS sessions are, even after listening to part of the aforesaid mp3

First, a huge rant I wrote while I was waiting for intro to mass com today.

Then, The Appointment

The Rant

I got so annoyed last night. I was listening to this song called, "The girl all the bad guys want," (yes, this is one of my many rants about why I hate men because i don't have one). The song is basically one of those, "I'm hopelessly in love with this one girl, but I'm not cool enough for her," songs. Some specific aspects about this girl seem to be that she likes guys who're into wreswtling and rap metal. The guy, at the end of the song, starts doign stuff like that to make her like him.

I hate the sentiment behind these songs. Why? Because for every fucking idiot drooling over the hot (and thus, "cool") girl, there is a nerdy girl not into wrestling and rap metal that would be perfect for him. But that girl isn't as hot as the "cool" girl, so the guy hypocritically ignores her and drools over a girl that he probably has nothing in common with, because she's hot.

Listen: I follow my own advice. I think nerdy guys are hot. I'm not even kidding. I had a crush on every guy in my scholastic bowl team in high school (including this freak that knew pi to a million digits, and when he was bored he'd start writing them out). I drool over the guys in my computer science classes. When it comes to celebrities, it's Tobey MacGuire all the way for me, even before Spiderman came out. Speaking of computer science--the male to female ratio in there is 10:1. I'm not particularly homely or overweight (no offense to those who are homely and overweight), I'm into Star Wars: the guys in my classes should be all over me like stink on a warthog. But they're curiously not.

So if any guys (or girls for that matter) are stuck in the thinking that that song represents, don't change yourself for a "cool girl," change what makes up a "cool girl" in your head. I'm not asking you to settle for some hideous dork person, I'm asking you to find someone with far more in common with you than some chick with big boobs. It's a cliche, but precisely because it's true: if you let it, the breain really is the sexiest organ.

I want a guy who doesn't love me in spite of my nerdiness, but because of it.

The Appointment

With much trepidation, I went for my appointment with the Arts Technology director. It sounded on the phone like I'm probably not Arts Technology material, but I had a small hope that I was nurturing, so I thought I might as well talk to the lady.

Oh, and side comment--I've decided I love the CVA. (Where her office was). It is so...."high school." It doesn't remind me of my high school, because my high school was so clean and neat and new, it was very un-high school like. It reminds me of most high schools, old and rundown with that kind of gross tan/yellowish flooring they always seem to have. For some reason, I find places like that comforting. Also, they had all this art up (it is the Center for Visual Arts) after all. And I think they had shop classes there, because I could hear machinery. You cannot even believe how much I enjoyed that place.

Anyway, I got there and explained my problem: I like art, but cannot produce it. However, I think it'd be cool to alter it with the help of my friend technology, thus producing all new, cool, art. As I talked to her, I realized I'm quite whiney. I'm always like, "Oh, I'm so artistic. I want to do something creative with my life. I want my life to mean something." and then I go home and zone out watching tv for hours on end until I'm in a vegetative state where I can do nothing else. I don't work on my writing, I don't work on my web design. I am skill less with music, but I don't know if it's because I've never had lessons or I just actually suck at it like I do regular art and acting. I talk a lot, but never do anything, (though the music might be because I don't have enough money to afford lessons on my own, and my parents won't pay for somethign that frivolous). Anyway, she broke it to me gently that half the classes in the arts technology prog require you to actually make art without technology, so it'd be a bad idea for me. And even if I did, it's a really selective major. And even if I made that, they aren't looking for new people until a semester from now, which screws me because I'm locked into something by then for the rest of my damn life. But she did give me hope that even if I can't get a job in mass com, that I can still major in it and have a job after college, that lots of people don't end up in what their major was. I verily hope this is true.

other side note--I love her. Half the reason I'm sad is that I don't get her for my advisor now, she rocks so much. Let's revew advisors I have had.
High School advisor: piece of crap, did not guide me at all
1st college advisor: Told me all sorts of crap, none of it true. Screwed me up pretty badly
Mass Com advisor: tells me nothing
Computer Science advisor: Tells me exactly what to do down to the last detail

Well, this lady is cool because she tells you all what is possible, and lets you decide. Also, she had star trek figurines and a knight rider lunchbox in her office. And her office is in the CVA so I'd get to go there every time I wanted to see her.

You're AIM, probably the most popular instant messenger out there. The bad thing is that you're run by a bunch of corporate assholes, but what isn't nowadays?

I totally DO use AIM the most

What Cartoon Will I Lose My Cartoon Virginity To? Snake Eyes (G.I. Joe): Tall, dark, and.... well you can't really tell what he looks like. Silent and deadly, skilled and sexy. Snake Eyes might seem intimidating, but he is the perfect gentleman. What Cartoon Will I Lose My Cartoon Virginity To?

GI Joe Cartoons are hot :P

What protester am I? I am completely irrational: The CIA has been smuggling in cocaine in the bodies of dead babies they killed while fulfilling thier obligations to the secret trilateral commission! I will scream and yell and dress up in silly outfits until people hear my very accurate truths of the reality of the situation of the reality of things to come! What protester am I?

What stock broker am I? I am completely inept: I mean well and I think I am an expert, but honestly I'm a little on the slow side. If I really knew how to invest would I keep this lame job? What stock broker am I?

How Will You Die?

Which Recurring Kevin Smith Character Are You? Take the test here

I should just give up and become a corporate schill.

I don't even know if I spelled schill right. I'm not even sure if I know what schill means.

I don't really care.

Well..... I talked to the people at the Arts Technology program. This time I begged them and acted desperate, because I am desperate. Anyway, I have an appointment with the lady tomorrow.

However....

I think I'm screwed as far as that's concerned because I don't think I'll get in their stupid major, because I have to have a portfolio of artwork that I've already done.

WHAT???

I freaking hate majors where you have to know half of what you're studying already. Why the hell are you going to their classes if you know all about this stuff already? This is why I couldn't major in Music Therapy back when I was investigating this stuff a year ago, I had to know piano and guitar just to get in. For this, it sounds like I wouldn't necessarily have to submit art that's been all technologied up, but I would have to submit art. I can't sing very well. I can't draw, except for if they maybe accepted something like this, or paint, or do anything. I can't play any instruments, or even read music. I can't act. They said maybe you could submit a webpage--which I have the technological skills to do a purely html one w/o any bells and whistles, but that art-wise I can't design anything to save my life. I thought the point of this major was others supplied the art, and then you would enhance it electronically.

GAAAAH. But I'm talking to the lady anyway.... *please don't cry in front of her please don't cry in front of her please don't cry in front of her please don't cry in front of her* and if I manage not to cry in front of her, maybe she'll tell me something that will give me hope.

I hate you so very much ISU.

1) You freaking make me change my password for my ID that I use everywhere ALL THE DAMN TIME. And this time, neither my old password nor my new password seem to work, so I am SCREWED.

2) The only freaking person at the whole university who knows what the hell the Arts Technology Program (a prospective major for me) is, is booked up until next thursday. I have to register for my classes this monday. And so I'm basically thinking I'm locked into mass com now because you can't get them to help you if you can't get an appointment, and no one's going to give me an appointment in the ATP, so I doubt anyone else would. If I take another semester of Mass Com classes, there will be no way to get away from it.

3) Or maybe I'm the stupid one, for that last one, for holding off dealing with this for so long instead of callijng them back when they had plenty of spots.

I want to cry. Hell, I did cry earlier. I want to cry again.

What toiletry are you?


What Lunch Meat Are You?


If you had a hammer, what would you do?


What are you?

Why do you eat so much goddamn grass??? Weirdo.

I love my new carpet, it's SO kickass! My parents got it for me at Lowe's or something, and it rocks my world.

It's got about a million colors in it, and it goes with anything (good because the rest of my decor is....ecclectic, to say the least). Anyway, what rocks my world is that since it's brand new, it's clean. I've not had a clean dorm carpet or floor since I started here. The whole room smells like new carpet scent! I can put things on the floor without being afraid they'll carry some strange disease next time I pick them up. I can even lay on it.

Which I did, in the fetal position, after Sib came by to pick up her stuff yesterday. She didn't say a single word to me. Just looked at me, like I was some sort of puss or something.

Stop! Stop dwelling on it. And your horrible major. And that guys don't like you. Just stop. Be happy for once.

My carpet ROCKS. Oh, and my new coat rocks too. It's all furry on the inside. Sometimes I feel like a pimp when I wear it. Especially when I put it on inside out (for the express purpose of trying to look pimply). Then I do my pimp walk (which just looks like I'm about to trip and keep catching myself).

Thanks, capitalism! Dwelling on my material goods has made me feel (slightly) better today.

*sigh* When Sib left she left some things behind, so I think next week I'm going to have to see her in order to give them back.

I really don't want to have to see her. I mean, if there was anyway to patch things up between us, I would, but Sib is quite stubborn. And things have been said and done that can never be unsaid and undone.

So seeing someone who has declared that they never want to see you again...... awkward.

I keep thinking of slipping a note into the game I'm giving back. When I think someone is mad at me I'd much rather write them a note to try to explain myself or apologize than do it face to face. This is because when someone yells at me, or even gives me an angry glare, everything in my head goes right out the window. In fact, I think one reason Sib's so mad is because when she asked me why, I couldn't give her any coherent, logical reasons about why I did what I did.

But a note wouldn't make it better, or make her feel better, it'd basically be to make ME feel better. I've been composing them in my head all day, and they all fit into two categories: showy display of verbal self-flagellation, or novel-sized justifications for why I did what I did. Ahrg.

Man I hate my major. It's not that I hate the material. I hate that they constantly remind you that there's no way in hell you're going to get a job where you don't have to ask "Would you like fries with that?" after you graduate.

They tell you honing your craft makes it easier, but I am already a junior and have done no honing, because I didn't know what I was going to do. Picking a major late makes me think I'm behind everyone. I can't write well enough for print. I don't care enough about news for journalism. I don't know anything about production. And I don't know anyone who could take me under their wing and tell me how. I fucking hate the term "networking," because they say that's one of the number one ways to get a job, everyone knows everyone, except I don't know anyone. I only even had one friend, she wouldn't have even been able to help me anyway as a history ed major, and she loathes me now anyway. I fucking hate being told that the way you communicate and sell yourself also helps, because I can't. I can't even get a job at Wal-Mart. I hate interviews. They say your confidence level helps too. Well guess what, I have rock bottom self esteem. I'm 20 and I've pissed away most of it doing nothing. I've only ever had 2 jobs, and they were jobs a trained monkey could do. And I feel like my life is meaningless, even if I did manage to get a good job and have friends. Religion doesn't do it for me and I can't find what else that does. I am the poster girl for existentialism. I could do anything in the world, there's nothing holding me back but me. And I feel horrible all the time because I know it deep down inside no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

I'm feeling a little bit better. (Pschologically, anyway)

What I did was still something pretty shitty to do to someone, but I've been talking to people and they say putting me in that position and then when I did what I did snapping and telling me she never wanted to see me again was pretty shitty.

Why does my life have to be like this?

I'm the lowest piece of scum on the planet.

I sold my soul for a single room.

The only friend I've had here for the last three years never wants to see me again because I denied her shelter in her time of need, though she had done it for me once.

Anyway, I felt so horrible all of today, just thinking of living with her that I spent half the day on the toilet, so I thought I'd better weasel my way out of living with her before it was too late.

And now, looking through my blog archives to find ones about how horrible she is so that I could get strangers I don't even know to pity me and comment that I'm not really scum, I've ended up reading about all the good times I had with her.

My parents (who I called up to sob to the instant after she left) say that we probably would've ended up at this point if we did end up moving in together. I would've rathered it later than sooner, though.

God I'm a pity whore. A piece of scum pity whore.

Oh, and I'm so shocked, saddened, and disgusted: ever since my pap test post, I've gotten the sickest hits from google. I'm not even mentioning them, they're so sick. I didn't even want to refer to the previous post by topic for fear of making myself show up any higher on their lists. What the fuck is wrong with this world?

I'm tired of God, or fate, or whatever it is always jerking me around.

I was so, so happy living alone. For the first couple of weeks, I tried to be suspicious. I tried to be aware that any moment some brain whiz at ISU would discover my happiness and flush it down the toilet. But then I finally got the paperwork. I signed it, and promised to pay the extra money for the room. I was so happy.

Yesterday, as I posted, I celebrated by buying myself posters to decorate my whole room in the nerdly fashion to which I am accustomed.

Plus, I was bored yesterday, so I was actually looking through some of the old logs for this blog, and came across several rather mean-spirited rants about Sib from when I lived with her. I thought, "Geez, and she was my best roommate. I'm glad I get to live alone for the year. Having the hamster girl for a couple weeks really wasn't too bad in the long run if I get this out of it."

Then, as I'm sure you can tell, my happy little world was dashed. Apparently my life doesn't suck enough, the one good thing I've had going for me lately has to go away. More painful, it's not even just ripped away from me in a way that I can just be pissed at the system. I have to give it up for a friend.

Sib's roommate, or "The Asshole" as I will call her, left some sort of rag with red stuff on it on Sib's bed this weekend. Sib, thinking it was kool-aid or something, picked it up and put it on asshole's side. The red has gotten all over Sib's bedclothes and stained everything through, right down to the matress pad. Sib asks the asshole not to do it again, and the asshole just says, "Oh, (one of asshole's friends) did it." Sib's forced to sleep on the stain that night, as she doesn't have time to wash her bedclothes. When she does finally end up doing that, down in the laundry room, she sees asshole's friend, and asks asshole's friend to please not put anything on her side anymore. Asshole's friend is like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I just had a nosbleed."

Yes, asshole let Sib carry blood, and sleep in blood, without even telling her.

Sib freaked out. She logically knows that she probably doesn't have Aids or anything, but still worries. She asked the RA, who is totally on her side, and who postulates that asshole is trying to get a single by pissing off Sib. To fix this, Sib and RA are going to re-assign asshole to another unwitting person.

Sib could end up with a single.

However, Sib was so mad about the incident that while if it were me I'd try to ride out the last couple days with asshole thinking "singlesinglesinglesinglesingle," she has started doing as many mean things as possible to asshole that she can without herself getting in trouble.

Yesterday, asshole left a note to the RA saying, "I can't be responsible for what I do anymore." And left another note on their own message board to Sib saying, "Don't talk shit to me (laughable because they have not said a word to each other since this whole incident started) DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!!" the last part underlined several times.

Sib got this documented, and crashed with me last night (which I don't mind a single bit). However, now that there's harassment involved.....Sib does not want the single where she lives. Asshole has friends on that floor, so Sib would probably be forced to see her again, and Sib never wants to see asshole again. And of course, Sib doesn't want to try her luck at a random roommate, seeing how well that did her the last time.

She wants to live with me. (Which, I mind a lot).

1) She brought the harassment on herself by vigilante "punishment" of asshole
2) I damn well bet the harassment stops once they stop living together. She could have a single outright with no problems. She's uptight, anything consists of harassment with her, when the asshole neighbors we used to live next to gave us dirty looks in the bathroom she felt the exact same way about "never having to see them again, because they harassed us so much."
3) There are so many reasons I love living alone in general and hate living with her in particular. And I just keep remembering more and more. The napping. The not letting me play music. Not being able to open up the blog at any time, because I don't want her to discover it, because I have said some not-nice things about her. I used to resent her last year for every little thing she did, and up until yesterday, we had a GREAT relationship. She's my best friend in the world, but you know how sometimes you see someone too often and it's not as fun anymore? The fact that though she always tries not too, her classes are always hours earlier than mine and I end up waking up much sooner than I'd have to when I'm alone. The extra storage space I had. Sleeping whenever I want. Watching TV whenever I want. Doing anything, whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want. Being able to strip without having to make sure no one sees. Being able to watch Star Trek without being mocked. Never having to answer anyone elses phone calls. All little things (there's more I left out, I'm sure) but they build up to something huge. I want to keep my single so badly.

on the other hand

1) Asshole kind of deserved some punishment, ISU's not going to reprimand her in any way, other than foisting her off on another unsuspecting stranger
2) I hate needles. It's just as irrational as Sib's "harrassment" thing, but I'd be so pissed if my best friend was like, "Well, it's irrational that you hate it. Get it done anyway, and I'm not going to come and hold your hand, either."
3) When I lived with my first roommate, I was dying inside. I wanted to kill myself every day. Sib had just gotten a single. She gave up her single so I could be happier. She's already made this sacrifice, how could I not do the same for her? Despite anything I say about her on this blog, I love her and I don't want to inflict yet another asshole on her just because I want my single. I know what it's like to wonder what the next one is going to be like. I know what it's like to end up with someone who makes you want to die. I have to do this for her.

So I said, "Yes, you can live with me," when I really want to shriek, "Stay away! It's mine, it's mine, it's all mine!"

And I really want to cry.

Especially since if I took it back now I'd be more of a jerk than if I'd said no in the first place. She kept asking if I resented it last night and I wanted to scream, "Damn straight I do!" but said comforting things like, "I resent asshole, not you." "My life isn't falling apart. Living alone wasn't the only good thing about this stupid year I had." etc. etc. etc. Damned, damned lies. I think she still got the idea that I kind of don't like it (I am a horrible liar) but since I won't come out and say it she figures it doesn't bother me too much. I just....I couldn't come out and say what I wanted. How horrible of a friend would I be? She sacrificed her single for me, once.

And now I have to get ready for hateful, hateful ACS now. I just keep looking longingly at my new Matrix poster as if Keanu could jump out of it and fix my life for me.

What I do when I do not want to do my homework (i.e. all the time)

Me: monkey
Sui: monkey!
Me: monkey?
Sui: monkey.
Me: monkey
Sui: monkey (with an underline)
Me: m o n k e y
Sui: M o N k E y
Me: y e k n o m
Sui: MON key
Me: monKEY
Sui: MUHN-KEE
Me: Monkeeeeeey

Man, I'm spending too much money lately. First I paid theater price for the latest crappy Jackie Chan movie, then I spent real money on food (rather than going to the dining center) and today I've blown 12 dollars (credit card, hehe) on posters. On my side of the room I have a big Lord of the Rings poster, a small stonehenge poster, and a midsize "Kings and Queens of England" poster. Pretty dorky.

But since I have the room to myself now I decided to dorkerize the other side. So I got two posters today.

It was hard to decide... I thought of getting this inspirational Einstein one. I thought of getting a Nirvana one. But though I like Nirvana, I don't think I'm in to them enough to put up a poster, I'd basically be doing it because Dave is hot and they never have any Foo Fighter ones. Einstein is a great guy, but not as hot as Dave. So I didn't get those.

There were some classy art ones, I particularly liked a Salvador Dali, plus the Dali was yellow like my other three posters. One of them had lightning similar to this, which would go with the lightning in the background of my LotR poster. Then I remembered I wasn't classy.

So now I have the classic Matrix poster, and one with Jimmy Eat World. JEW was probably a bad idea, because the next album they drop will probably be horrible and I'll hate them and be pissed I paid six dollars to have them up on my wall, but they were the only good band besides Nirvana they had there. (Well, except for Bob Marley. Do college students have a weird obsession with reggae, or is it a pot thing, I want to know. Every college-age-targeted store around here that carries posters has at least 8 different prints of Bob. And I've never met any Rastas here, so I'm just wondering). At least the Limp Bizkit poster trade seems to have dried up a bit since the last time I looked at posters.