Well, I have been known to send some weird e-mails (Adam Sandler's crack research team is still probably trying to figure out the one I sent him) but I've never gotten a reply!

Until now!

Here is an e-mail I sent to nanowrimo.org, because I (honestly) was disappointed in the beatnik tee shirt they had to offer:

Hi, I'm a long time listener, first time caller.....

I was looking at the NaNoWriMo tee shirts, and I'm shocked and horrified at the beatnik tee.

You see, this man is no beatnik! Yes, he has the beret, but that only serves to mock beatniks as a whole. This man who masquerades as a beatnik is obviously not a beatnik for 3 reasons:

1) He is not wearing black. Proper beatniks wear black, to express the darkness inherent in the system. I am offended by the wussy sky blue this beatfake is wearing.

2) There is no goatee. All beatniks have goatees. Some female beatniks even go to the extreme of fake goatees. If a beatnick has no goatee, what else is he or she to stroke when deep in thought?

3) No bongos. I know a beatnik or two that is afraid of bongos, but this is deviant behavior. This beatnik needs bongos.

I will not, could not, buy this abomination. Please rectify this immediately.

P.S. What do you think of this quote: "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "

I would really like to know what O tj.

Here is the reply:

Hi Phoe,

Thank you for the feedback. I will take this up with our Beatnik
defamation council at the next board meeting. Something must be done, I
agree.

> P.S. What do you think of this quote: "Love is a snowmobile racing
> across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
> underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "

I like it a lot. Especially the ice weasels. I think I will include an ice
weasel or two in my upcoming novelistic masterwork, "The Ice Weasels Sing
the Songs of Mandy Patinkin." Sounds good, no?

I love this guy now, that was such a great e-mail