Man I hate my major. It's not that I hate the material. I hate that they constantly remind you that there's no way in hell you're going to get a job where you don't have to ask "Would you like fries with that?" after you graduate.

They tell you honing your craft makes it easier, but I am already a junior and have done no honing, because I didn't know what I was going to do. Picking a major late makes me think I'm behind everyone. I can't write well enough for print. I don't care enough about news for journalism. I don't know anything about production. And I don't know anyone who could take me under their wing and tell me how. I fucking hate the term "networking," because they say that's one of the number one ways to get a job, everyone knows everyone, except I don't know anyone. I only even had one friend, she wouldn't have even been able to help me anyway as a history ed major, and she loathes me now anyway. I fucking hate being told that the way you communicate and sell yourself also helps, because I can't. I can't even get a job at Wal-Mart. I hate interviews. They say your confidence level helps too. Well guess what, I have rock bottom self esteem. I'm 20 and I've pissed away most of it doing nothing. I've only ever had 2 jobs, and they were jobs a trained monkey could do. And I feel like my life is meaningless, even if I did manage to get a good job and have friends. Religion doesn't do it for me and I can't find what else that does. I am the poster girl for existentialism. I could do anything in the world, there's nothing holding me back but me. And I feel horrible all the time because I know it deep down inside no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.